Mayonnaise … mayonnaise … mayonnaise
Yesterday I was searching about the Interwebnet thingy for some festive tune to post. I must have started singing one of the songs as I went about my day.
I called TSO to chat about high priority super secret stuff but it turned out I just mostly listened to children torturing the man. I no longer have any idea why I called in the first place but remembered my favorite parenting skill was sending the kids to bed early on some trumped up charges. My sons were called “Search and Destroy” and my daughter responded to “What Now”.
The Hair called not long thereafter. I thought he was going to thank me for the tip about Grecian Formula being on sale at Target. Did you know that as goslings geese will bond with the first suitable moving stimulus, no matter if this is a goose, person or even an object? They remain dedicated to that person or object as their surrogate “parent” throughout their lives. Or did you know that Goose is actually the term for female geese, male geese are called ganders? A group of geese on land or in water are a gaggle, while in the air they are called a skein. Fascinating to hear about all that stuff in his erotic Shipley voice.
The Soviet came home at some point to goose-step around the compound. Her shrill is almost as sensual as Shipley but not as suffering as TSO’s.
She demanded I explain to her why I kept singing, “Mayonnaise … mayonnaise … mayonnaise”.
Having no clue WTF she was talking about I checked the calendar and it was only the 12th so I should have another week before Broadzilla takes over her soul for a few days. I went about my business by mustering a deaf focus only a ranting Spousal Unit can conjure out of me. Just as I thought she had passed out from eating a gallon of Dulce de leche ice cream she came at me like Khrushchev at a United Nations function shrilling, “That’s it, that’s it”.
My fellow Americans, I give you the ever popular seasonal classic, “Mayonnaise … mayonnaise … mayonnaise”.
May all your Christmases be white.
Seasons Greetings and MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Category: Administrative, Holidays
Just breathe deep and slow….we have all had those days.
Who are you and what have you done with Hardin?
Yes, I do believe he got a dose of Christmas spirit. Very disturbing. Next thing you know, he’ll be posting The Andy Williams Christmas Special featuring The Osmonds.
If he is having a Christmas Spirit, it must be at least 100 Proof.
Dave’s not here…
https://youtu.be/rtDAK7Umk7A
😎
Thank you Dave. That was refreshing.
Here’s TSO on his other job…
Well that explains the saying “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
In Acadiana the word mayonnaise is sometimes pronounced as mah-nez.
Good stuff Hardin, even us heathens can enjoy the seasonal music of our countrymen.
The Soviet left Dave unsupervised. He got into the Christmas spirits.
Now she’s got to make another run to the Class VI Store and restock the cabinet.
Is “The Hair” Don Shipley..???
JTB it could be no one else with that moniker…
Dave I have a question for you
My uncle Larry how was in the navy
During Vietnam recently told me
That he was a “sea-bee” during his time
Overseas he said they did patrols
In some delta. And they came across a village
That had a bunch of commie cats
Fast forward to earlier this year about a week
Before jonns passing. My uncle Gary who I found
Out was something called a tunnel rat in the ple-ku
Area of Vietnam sorry about the spelling
Passed away at home. Two week prior he make a comment about my cousins cats being commie cats.. what the hell are they talking about ????
My cousins cat is called a Scandinavian Blue
WTF does commie cat mean ????
Excuse my spelling also
Sincerely
Skippy
I have no idea bro. Send a request to Jane Fonda, she was the expert on NAM Commies.
Does your cousin plan to eat the cats?
For some Vietnamese cats are just another source of protein…
OK, Skippy – a semi serious response. A neighbor refers to various farm animals as “commie” whatevers when they follow him around looking for a handout. The reference to a “commie cat” in the Viet of the Nam may just have been slang kinda talk ala “cool cat” and such.
I dunno, but you asked, so there ya go. Are you a hep cat? Cool, dude.
And cows are female, but the males are bulls (but y’all kill enough that I know you know that).
Hogs are sows and boars; so are bears. (Guilts have never been given birth, and barrows wills never breed.)
Goats are nanny and billy and weathered. (And the one we had was a picky eater; he like the neighbor’s rose bushes.)
Horses are mares and stallions; a gelding’s impairment is like a barrow’s
Chickens are hens and roosters, but I don’t know about squirrels nor snakes nor snails neither.
Chickens are hens and roosters AND capons… kind of like JohnKerryChickens.
Squirrels are really just tree rats but could be edible. Plus, they are great fun to shoot!
As to snakes and snails? I’d rather not know a lot more about them but during mating season snakes put on one hell of floor show, it’s even better in the water.
Water mocs are especially fun to shoot, on a bayou. The trick is to use a .22 and ricochet the shot off the water to get the ones draped over logs or dangling from the brush. Sometimes they will be as thick as a plate of spaghetti and you might get a two’fer.
“And cows are female”
With four tits
Go Navy! Out sing Army!
You are LOST
BHWHAHAHAHAHA
👍🏻🇺🇸🥓🍺
One must take small victories where one can…
I thought the official Navy Chorus Group was called the Village People? (grin)
Out sing Army?
Never.
Watch this rendition of the West Point Alma Mater made to honor a lost classmate West Point.
“Second Sing” honoring West Pointer Stephen Chase Prasnicki, who was killed by an enemy improvised explosive device in Maidan Shahr, Wardak Province, Afghanistan, on Jun. 27, 2012. He played Football for West Point and was the Class of 2010:
https://youtu.be/yDYTTpsz0k8
Correction. “Sing Second.”
Rest in Peace, LT.
Salute.
Good linkie post AP. Thanks!
Hand Salute
Thank You, 5th/77th FA!
rtr🐘
Oh, now I get it. “Mayonnaise … mayonnaise … mayonnaise” is “May your days…May your days…May your days” [be merry and white…].
I was wondering what was going on.
Nice clip!!
Better than “Miracle Whip..Miracle Whip..Miracle Whip”(and mayonnaise IS better…)
😉
Now you done done it, AP!
The argument over salad dressing vs mayo will never be resolved. Some of us actually like both and consume both regularly.
In my household, they are mostly interchangeable. With notable exceptions.
😄😆!!!
Dave started it…😉
Good topic for “Thursday Is For Cooking.”
BTW, Thank You so much again for sharing about Wreaths Across America, OWB. We will be doing the honors again this Saturday.🤗
Oh, don’t get me started! Am hoping that all will be better soon, but right now am about to lose it completely. What seemed like such a simple little thing is driving me nuts. NUTS, I tell you!
And I will probably not get to lay the significant wreath due to having painted myself into a corner…
There is no argument at D’s Cantina. MRS D does not allow Miracle Whip in the house. Period. Nothing follows.
Put Miracle Whip on a lobster roll and you’ll get keelhauled.
Mayonnaise ONLY. And it better be Cain’s mayo at that.
Oh, and don’t you be trying to stiff me by putting lettuce and all that other crap on it. Frankfurter roll, lobstah, mayo, MAYBE a little celery salt, and that’s it.
Cain’s? That nuke shit must have tapped your brain pan…it’s Hellman’s or die.
Amen.
Hellman’s rules.
We tried Dukes based on recommendation of relatives, but family members did not like it.
😝
In Godfather fashion, I left the Hellman’s and took the Dukes.
🤣😂😅😆!!!
(Durn it…now I can’t get that theme song from “Godfather” outta my head…and please don’t mention the horse..😉)
Cain’s sweet relish on a hotdog but I concur on Hellman’s
That must be like asking for ketchup on a hot dog 🌭 in Chicago. That’ll get you shot…but then most things will get you shot in Chicago these dates.
Damn. I like ketchup, it’s like American Dressing, even better with Tabasco Sauce. Sauerkraut is good but onions is the coup de gras of fine dining.
A buddy of mine I used to work with (we both got promoted since then) once noted that I was the only guy at the station who didn’t drench his plate in Tapatio, Tabasco, or Sriracha. Seeing an opportunity for a racial joke (he’s Mexican), he this declared ketchup “White Man’s Hot Sauce.”
I don’t do hot sauce or spicy food in general. More specifically, I can’t do it. Which is ironic, because my wife likes her food so hot the smell of it could be weaponized as a WMD.
When I was learning English many moons ago, I kept hearing the phrase “poison girls” being said on tv shows and ads. This kind of wigged me out, but also intrigued me. They were saying “boys and girls”. I was relievebecause poison is bad, but somewhat disappointed that poison girls were not a thing. Later on I find out they are a thing, but that is a different story.
I knew a police officer who was in my reserve unit.
He used to say he’d get together with the guys every year and go “Christmas shopping” but it meant going to the strip clubs. Wives never questioned it.
But then, it is really tough to explain stripper glitter all over your neck and clothes.
Glitter from decorating the “tree”!
“tree”… or bush?
Hey! Leave me out of this.
*Rustle Rustle*
OVER!
Since we are in the festive holiday mood, I would like to dedicate this Christmas Carol to our favorite fake CPO. (long version).
https://youtu.be/Xlr2ZMTc52E
Well, that alarm would be doomed to fail in the case of the fake CPO. He would’ve argued with the alarm since his 50 cent iPad airspeed app wouldn’t be in agreement with said alarm. Plus, the alarm doesn’t end its sentences with “Over.”
Ain’t language barriers fun? I always tell my kids that when Mommy stops speaking English, it’s time to run and hide.