Yes, There Is a Cure

It seems that civilization in these United States is being impaired in its forward progress by a new, and previously unintended consequence: the use of certain words, which create anxiety attacks, hysterics, screaming fits, bouts of howling anger, angst-ridden episodes of curling up on the floor in a corner, with one’s face buried in the knees.

The problem appears to be that there are individuals –  many, many individuals, in fact – whose emotions are just below the level of the boiling pot, with the result that they will suffer these howling, angst-ridden screaming tantrums.

All of this overt hyper-emotional anxiety is triggered by the use of words related to colors. The mind seems to immediately create an angry reaction to the mere sound of a word, without any basis for it other than an embedded habitual response, which has evolved into the word ‘triggering’. (I thought Trigger was a horse. What do I know?)

I was not sure as to whether or not there was a name for this strange disorder. However, in digging, I have found the following items:

Chromophobia. Chromophobia (also known as chromatophobia or chrematophobia) is a persistent, irrational fear of, or aversion to, colors and is usually a conditioned response. While actual clinical phobias to color are rare, colors can elicit hormonal responses and psychological reactions.

Leukophobia is the fear of the color white. The origin of the word leuko is Greek (meaning white) and phobia is Greek (meaning fear).

Melanophobia is fear of the color black or the use of the word ‘black’.

Other color phobias have names as well:

Porphyrophobia: fear of the color purple or the word “purple”.

Xanthophobia: fear of the color yellow or the word “yellow”.

Erythrophobia: fear of the color red, or the word “red”.

The problem with such phobias is that they funnel the already narrow perceptions of the sufferers into over-reacting to either hearing the words or to the colors themselves, and now those reactions appear to be morphing into near-explosive elevations, as seen in confirmation hearings for a new member of the US Supreme Court, and the more recent episode of some blonde newsreader who used the world ‘black’.

Interestingly, there is another phobia that may have something to do with the hyper-emotional response to the use of certain words and colors: it is nomophobia: fear of being without cellphones. In fact, these two phobias: chromophobia and nomophobia may run hand in hand with each other.

If you’re wondering as to whether or not these benighted souls can recover from their self-induced phobic states, there is good news. Therapy is available (for a fee, of course) that allows the “sufferer” to face his/her/its phobia directly and learn to live with it, while discarding the nearly automatic response of a 3-year-old throwing a temper tantrum on the floor over Mom’s use of the word “NO”.

Whether or not there is medication included depends on the practitioner’s licensing.  Medicine can be prescribed, but medications can have side effects and/or withdrawal systems that can be severe. It is also important to note that medicines do not cure phobias. At best, they only temporarily suppress the user’s response. The usual treatments for phobias include counseling, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, and neurolinguistic programming, which simply means a lot of talking and repeated exposure to the object of the phobia, including hearing other people use the word and seeing them wearing the color.

So there you go: when people start going ape-shit over someone’s using a word that means a specific color, or over seeing a specific color in use, it’s certainly plausible and even helpful to calmly recommend that they get some professional help with this particular phobia, and quickly, too, before it destroys their entire lives!!!

Maybe if you can convince them to do that, they’ll stop eating detergent pods and snorting condoms.

Category: "The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves", Dumbass Bullshit, Liberals suck