Poser Pups, Ya just knew it would come to this.
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Any day now I will be getting an email from somewhere out there saying that there is this Dog in Ipschwitz that is claiming fake Valor. We deal with so many posers you know there is some doggie being pranced around Lowes dressed up as a War Hero.
Military Times reports “they”, the Canine Corps, will soon have an award of their own.
“If we as a nation can strap a Kevlar vest on Cairo and send him on a mission with SEAL Team 6, or we can deploy dogs like Kira or Khrusty or Rudy to dangerous regions around the world, then I think they deserve more than treats and a pat on the head,”
I can hardly wait until we do our first Doggie FOIA. “He was just a pup during Fallujah and records show he never deployed outside of the United States. He spent the entire war with a group of bitches sniffing drugs. ”
The Horror of it all.
Category: Phony soldiers, Terror War, Valor Vultures
Just think about the number of fake service dogs…
Dave, you mean to tell me that dachshund in the doggie vest with the embroidered CIB with two stars that I saw at Walmart the other day is a poser?
I’m totally thunderstruck!!!
I’m guessing a terrier with a Trident would be suspect too…
“He spent the entire war with a group of bitches sniffing drugs.”
He spent the entire war with a group of bitches sniffing butts.
There, fixed it for ya…
“spent the entire war with a group of bitches sniffing butts”
I had a 2LT that fits that description.
Can’t blame them, it’s the default setting of wet-behind-the-ears 22 year old knoweverythings wearing Twinkies
now now, SFC D…no ragging on NETCOM types…LOL
I admit nothing!
But do you think anybody would be foolish enough to claim their dog as a honorary CPO and teach it how to fly, I mean crash.
Even canines deserve the right to pilot a light sport aircraft. The laws keeping them from the controls in the cockpit are species-ist according to the animal rights SJW’s. Think of that poor dog who was duct-taped to his seat in that sad flight with the dearly departed Lawn Dart Danny.
Also, who knows? A canine co-pilot not duct-taped to its seat might have been able to save the day for Danny-boi.
Even this hypothetical dog is smarter than that guy. In fact, I bet ‘Fido’ could have kept his Law License!
So this is what the astonishingly corrupt Bob Menendez is doing as a last ditch attempt to hold on to his seat, huh?
BTW – there isn’t a dog on earth that wouldn’t take the treats and the pat on the head over a medal that means nothing to them…..because they’re, y’know, dogs.
Amen
See, this is the kinda comment that makes me miss the “Like” button.
Soon we’ll see pretend Warrior Pups with their own service dogs.
Hey, Sammy the Wonderdog (my rescue pup) needs a service dog during monsoon.
Wait until one of these phony war dogs claims he really had a “Ruff” time on the battle field.
Boo this man, boooo
My dog would never would never fake being a war dog, but she has been known to pose as Madonna.
Bork Bork NOMNOMZ! (Deploy fur missile)
+1 for the Donut Operator reference!
Poor dogs, get that taste of tweeker in their mouths
If the dog bites a meth-head, does he get addicted?
Why not passenger pigeons and war cats, too?
What is this? Species bias? Someone thinks that pigeons don’t contribute? Cats have nothing to offer but claws, dead mice and cat doots? Does anyone really appreciate how easy it is for a cat to hide under furniture and attack your feet as you walk by?
War dogs, my fat bag of bird food!
You’re right! This is Speciesism!!! And I didn’t know that I should have been outraged until you mentioned it, but consider me triggered! What about horses like Sergeant Reckless? Or Wojtek the bear? I realize he worked for the Poles, but it was still the Allied war effort! And speaking of cats, there’s Unsinkable Sam.
Those awards better not be too “dog” or some SJW may start a well deserved boycott!
[Prog off]
Back to reality, though, I wonder how many “service animals” are genuinely service animals. I have a suspicion that most are just people’s dumb pets in some vest they got somewhere. Now they get to take Fluffy wherever the hell they want to because of the outcry that sometimes happen when you call people out.
Fuze: This service dog bullshit has gotten out of hand. I saw a women in Publix a few weeks ago with a service/comfort dog so tall he came up to the top of the cart. You can buy the outfit on Ebay or Amazon. I don’t know where businesses can lawfully draw the line. They have to be careful not to ‘offend’ or ‘disrespect’ a person. That’s discrimination or some such shit. Don’t know the law, maybe others can chime in here. But … I think the businessman should be able to ask to see the paperwork from a provider (MD, DO, Psychologist, etc.) If I shopped with an authorized service animal, I would gladly produce the paperwork when asked. That would help reduce the snowflakes shopping with a comfort camel or some such crap and add legitimacy to my shopping with an animal. OK, Rant over . Your opinions would be appreciated.
Well, Chief, if you really need a comfort critter on your arm, why not take along a comfort hooker in a short, tight skirt and a bustiere instead of a camel?
First of all, the hooker wouldn’t smell like a camel or spit on anyone, and second – man, a girl’s got to earn a living right?
Just sayin’. Kills two birds with one stone, if you ask me.
No no no, you ride the camels to the brothel.
Ex-PH2: Would my camel have a camel toe? I’m asking for a friend who is curious about such things.
Actually, my comfort comes in the form of Mrs. HMC Ret, AKA The Russian. After 47 years, we are pretty much joined at the hip.
I think a lot of these people with specious claims to service or comfort animals are in it for the attention. They’d probably want to be asked to see the documentation for their companion turkey just so they can sucker another person in to hear their whole woeful story.
“comfort camel” had me laughing out loud.
“comfort hooker” did, too! Although I don’t know if I agree that “the hooker wouldn’t smell like a camel or spit on anyone”. I guess that depends on where you pick her up!
As to the proliferation of service [noun]s that are out there, it IS getting out of hand. You’re right – produce paperwork or get the —- out. Being afraid to confront is an outcropping of the “we can’t offend movement” and it has to stop. The only people who really ever get offended are the types that we don’t care about anyway (you know, SJW types, etc.) So who cares?
And what really sucks is when you see a service dog given to someone who doesn’t deserve the thing. I’m not even talking about the liars we talk about here from time to time. We had this kid here at my place of work who had broken himself in basic training. Because he couldn’t work out, apparently, he gained a shit-ton of weight. He was eventually medically separated, but not before he got himself a service dog. The command didn’t even know anything about it until after it was done since he went through an outside organization who gets dogs for vets and the medical clinic on base. Apparently it “helped is mobility” issues and woke him when he had nightmares. Of what? MCT? That really, really, REALLY bothered me.
There’s the ‘service kangaroo’, ‘service turkey’, ‘service boa constrictor’ – the idiocy has gone full bore in the last couple of years.
“I can’t travel anywhere without my service snake.” So many bad jokes come up from this kind of thing.
‘Service Scotch’?!?!?
I HAVE TO KNOW!
Does anyone know a Doctor that’ll do me a solid, I have cash!!
Now you’re talking. . .
https://www.masterofmalt.com/whiskies/glenfiddich/glenfiddich-15-year-old-solera-whisky/
“But stewardess, my service skunk helps calm my nerves!!”
How about insects, spiders, etc. We shouldn’t discriminate. I can legitimately see a tarantula with a tiny service vest. If there is any leftover room on the vest, maybe hang a POW/MIA patch. We really can’t discriminate against any living entity chosen by a snowflake. I don’t know how it would work with a fish. I need to give some thought to that.
“tarantula with a tiny service vest”
Awesome. I need to draw that for us here at TAH.
How about a pet camel spider with a service vest? Name her Shelob or something.
Plenty of room on that for awards, and there wouldn’t be a fly left in the vicinity.
I can’t leave the house without my comfort carp. I carry him (her ?) in a small aquarium. It sits nicely in my grocery cart. He (She ?) alerts me when it senses I am about to have a panic attack, by swimming quickly back and forth within the aquarium. It’s my second comfort carp; the cat got the one before. I was without my carp for several weeks until another could be trained. It was a difficult time for me. A friend suggested that instead of a carp, I get a comfort kangaroo, as they are easier to train. I ditched that idea, though, when I learned they had a tendency of kicking the crap out of people, even strangers. That wouldn’t do well in Publix or the commissary.
Maybe they could award Air Medals to the Carrier Pigeons of WWI. I suppose if there were “war cats” in the trenches, they could get BSM’s for catching some number of trench rats. We certainly could have used them in the Viet of the Nam in one Popular Force militia compound where we had to conduct periodic rat shoot fests.
There is the Dickin Medal that is given in the UK. It was actually given to pigeons more than any other type of animal. Those little suckers were just the thing in a pinch!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dickin_Medal
Picture a war cat memorial. Maybe a bronze sculpture by Kliban and the poignant tribute:
Love to eat them mousies…
Mousies what I love to eat!
Bite they little heads off,
nibble on they tiny feet.
Kinda gets you choked up, doesn’t it?
Yes it does, because it was Mikey’s favorite song.
Bwhaaaa
What’s next, a “Wounded War Dog” special vest with a Purple Heart embroidered on it? In a week they will likely be available online from Medals of America.
Ship’s cats have a long tradition of naval service. Both as an effective pest control measure and for morale.
I’m all for the memorialization of military service animals. There’s records of pigeons and other war service animals being given medals. Here’s one, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Army_Pigeon_Service#Cher_Ami.
Here’s another: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sergeant_Stubby
You can’t tell me that the lives saved by Stubby isn’t worth a bronze statute at a dog park someplace. Stubby was even given a wound chevron, the precursor to the purple heart. So there’s precedent for that too.
So far haven’t seen any posing tracker teams with pups here yet. Guess they were so super secret squirrel in the Viet of the Nam that the semi google fu posers know much about them. Some of y’all may recall that hardly any of the War Dogs were allowed to come back to CONUS.
The posers will read this blog and have a field day.
‘There I was, deep in the shit with my SEAL Team 4. We were completely surrounded and the lead was flying hot and heavy. Only myself and my service dog, ‘Poser’, remained in the fight. A grenade landed at my feet. Without hesitation, Poser threw his body on the grenade, fully absorbing the blast and giving his life for mine. The enemy were so impressed by this awesome display of courage that they retreated, leaving my fallen team members and myself, along with my fallen companion, Poser.’
I swear I think posers read these blogs for posing’ ideas. Look for the stories of dog heroism in a matter of time. Some of them, of course, were dog handlers and returned to the States with the service dog. Yeah, that’s it. The dog was a bomb sniffer in the sand and now lives with the dog handler and his family.
I saw a “biker” last Memorial Day with a shit load of patches of course, but one in particular stood out. He had an upside down special forces patch, with an airborne tab over the top – or bottom since it was flipped. He left his dog at home I guess.
The really clever SF posers have the arrowhead patch point up but then place the “special forces” tab directly above it and the “airborne” tab above that.
Anthropomorphism
My Lola was a P.O.W. – Poodle Of War. She would distract and dazzle Taliban fighters with her dancing prowess then maul each one to death while they are still too amused to react, sometimes with the assistance of Ex-PH2’s Battlecats.
This dog spent way too much time eating homework and not enough time at PT. Probably claims his records were destroyed in “the fire.”