Falling short is no reason to lie.
I often think of those with whom I have served. Too many men, better than I, fell short of completing their tour. Injured in training, a family hardship, disease, and so much more. Through no fault of their own, they fell short of their mark and returned home to no applause. There are others of course, who made a bad choice and were sent out the gate with cause. What becomes of those men who live with remorse and have to go on about their lives?
Too often we find them reinventing past lives with badges and patches and pins…oh my. But there are great men, better than I, who fell short of the finish line. Do they live with remorse of what went awry, or do they stand up and hold their head high?
To those who have served and think they fell short and never appear on our site, hold your head high you are a brother of mine, regardless of what you might think. We should recognize those who fell short of their mark and silently live with remorse.
There is no reason for that, if they went on with life and did not embellish… that which they knew was a lie. They did more than most, and too many times, it could have been I who fell short… and went on to live with remorse.
“There is no person so severely punished, as those who subject themselves to the whip of their own remorse.”
Seneca the Younger
Adam Driver – Wikipedia
Shortly after the September 11 attacks, Adam Driver joined the United States Marine Corps and was assigned to Weapons Company, 1st Battalion, 1st Marines as an 81mm mortar man. He served for two years and eight months with no deployments before breaking his sternum while mountain biking. He was medically discharged before his unit deployed to Iraq for the Iraq War.
Semper Fi
Category: Military issues, Politics, Veterans Issues
Well said Dave! There are many reasons some of us fell short, including being young, stupid, and thinking you’re in love… just saying..
BZ to all who at least tried their best! You are better than most who just say fuck it and lie their asses off! Thank you to all that served and those that tried their best!
My eyes suddenly watered when reading your well written article.
Kudos to you, Dave for sharing this as well as serving our country.
👏👏
I ran the separations platoon at MCRD San Diego for 6 months.
The vast Majority of those who went through were physically unqualified to serve. I had young men who had attempted training 2 to 3 times and spent weeks at Medical Rehab and/ or Physical Conditioning Platoon trying to make it.
One recruit spent 11 months trying to get through. Though he didn’t earn the title I had a lot of respect for him as a man.
Did two weeks in PCP myself on account of being short one pullup.
I was short one Queen of Diamonds, but I pressed forward. I just was never playing with a full deck.
Eleven months (!) of not giving up in that environment is ballsy and damned worthy of respect.
I know-I injured my knee during the first phase, was dropped from my series and spent a month in MRP (I equated with a year in civilian life) and finally went back to training and finished.
I haven’t forgotten either the others there like recruit I personally found on firewatch hanging himself by his web belt on the rear side of his bunk…..because he was cleared to actually go back to training and that was too much for him.
I’ve been on a few of those staffs where fired COs were stashed until retirement…these weren’t moral failures but guys who got canned because something happened on their watch and their boss lost “trust and confidence”. I really felt for these guys…and they didn’t want to embellish or be noticed in any way, they just wanted to disappear…
I served with a lot young troops that were medically discharged (peacetime) before finishing their first enlistment. Even a twenty year old that was medically retired. It happens.
“It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly…who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
One of my favorite quotes.
Hear,hear! Thanks for posting this one IDC SARC! My son’s hear a version of this from me, more than they like…
But like it or not, they will remember it when it is important, Dino.
My kids & grandkids get Churchill’s “Never give up” speech quite often, as well. Then I have to repeat it to myself…
Um, you guys know Teddy was a Progressive, right?
Who gets ill or injured – and who doesn’t – often is due to random chance/Act of God. The same is true for family hardship. Those who leave service early for those reasons, absent “gaming the system” to do so, have no reason for shame.
Nice article. Ya done good, DH.
Got dusty in here for some reason.
This is good stuff Mr. Hardin….I always feel I did nothing, nothing special at all…I managed to serve during the six year period when virtually nothing happened just after Vietnam and just before Grenada….because of that I’ve never used a single benefit because I don’t think I earned them.
I also never claimed to be anything other than a man who was fortunate enough to have been awarded the blue cord at one time in my life.
Thank you for putting a different perspective out there, it won’t change my mind that all of you are better men and women than I for having served during a time of conflict but it does remind us that many people chose to serve while most of their fellow Americans were busy serving themselves.
In total agreement, my service was during the same period and have the same feelings.
You earned those benefits. Somebody had to sit in the hellhole that was the US Military after Vietnam, Watergate, Nixon, Ford and Carter.
I served during that time too, 74-77, did 2 years in Alaska when we were Arctic Light Infantry and had to snowshoe all over the place because they refused to burn fuel for choppers or even give us decent cold weather gear. Ours was left over from Korea and sucked, big time…
So don’t sit there and self flagellate yourselves over untrue facts, that was a horrible time to be in and if anyone earned it all of us that served during the Post Vietnam Era did…
Well said, Dave. Well said.
So much of it is pure luck and circumstances as well. When I was a young 18 year old LCpl 0351 in the late 70s I was in a bad motorcycle accident that left me with a TBI, extensive facial injuries, dislocated shoulder, some internal injuries etc. and even back then under normal circumstances I would have been medically separated. However; being on Sea Duty gave the MarDet CO a great deal of discretion and he asked me what I wanted to do.
I was a HS dropout with no family to return to and no skills and I said I wanted to stay in the Corps so he put me in the office as Trng NCO for almost a year where I was under the thumb of what I thought at the time a dictator asshole SSgt who would only allow 2 strike outs on any correspondence instead of the Marine Corps allowed 3 (back then we used type writers with 3 part carbon paper)and who rejected any thing I did that had a spelling or grammar error. I hated it the whole time but got a better education than anything I got out of HS.
I went on to have a great career and retire at age 50 and though I still have some medical problems from that accident I never again was on light or limited duty for anything longer than a couple days after that rehab period so long ago. I am very grateful for that Captain who took a chance and gave me a life I was able to be successful in.
Unfortunately, I know a lot of far more hard chargers than I ever was who never got to complete their careers for one reason or another and though they should feel no shame or less worth; most of them invariably do.
I am glad to see your article and plan to forward this link to several people I know.
Great story, GB! The military needs more people like that Captain.
Wow what a great perspective to pause and consider.
I have a lifelong friend who shortly after returning from Desert Storm as a 20 year old (101st Airborne) made a really stupid decision and ended up with a sentence of three years in fort knox and loss of GI Bill, College Fund, and VA benefits. Not to mention a dishonorable discharge. He was an awesome soldier up to that point and actually was going to re-enlist and had just started talking about it as a career.
I realize this was self-induced and not an injury. He owned it and went on to be very successful in Family and career in his civilian life but it still haunts him.
Don’t we all have things that haunt us from our past? I know I do.
Bigtime. Sometimes the only difference is not getting caught, but it can haunt you even without that.
FFS…now I’m crying in my cubicle. What is this sorcery?
My Dad was training to be a Cav Scout and was just weeks away from deploying to Vietnam; when he was given a medical discharge for his shoulder.
One of his best friends from home died in Vietnam, and his younger brother did deploy.
Dad carries guilt with him every day of his life. It came out at a family reunion one year, when he’d had way too much to drink (Maybe Budweiser helped that day too.) I never knew his guilt until then.
I think we all know that ‘those who try and fail’ are giving 110% and doing their best…. but those same folks most often feel like failures.
One of the finest officers I ever worked for was a former infantry captain who switched over to MI.
Prior to the switch, he got almost all the way through Ranger school before breaking his ankle on a jump in the “swamp” phase at Eglin. Due to other commitments (both military and family) he was never able to go back and complete the school and earn the tab, even though he looked, talked, and acted like just about every other Ranger I ever met (in fact, most of his peers just assumed he had a Ranger tab – he was certainly squared away enough, and stood apart from his peers, especially once he branched over to MI.)
On long nights in the TOC he would tell me that his one regret was never finishing the school and earning the tab, but anybody who knew him knew that he had the heart and soul of a Ranger, even if he never got the chance to earn the tab.
This same officer, BTW, was one of the only ones in the Division G2 who didn’t indulge in the near-mandatory drinking and whoring that most of the other ones did during their Korea tour. He took his marital commitments as seriously as he took his job, and sad to say, that seemed to be the exception among much of the division staff.
Well said, Dave, and timely. I fear that there are some out there who look at TAH as a bunch of heartless, old, superior bastards who delight in destroying those we find less worthy. I know that we would heartily disagree, but this topic of Stolen Valor is not one which many, if not most Americans, have little understanding.
So thanks for showing them that we do indeed have compassion for those who fall short–simply not for those who embellish.
Semper Fi and Airborne!
Considering the viciousness that ensues the discovery of fibbing about one’s service, I would not dare.
Thanks Dave! Good for Adam Driver for bringing attention to this. Goes to show there’s no need to lie or embellish in order to gain respect for your military service even if circumstances beyond control come into play. Adam Driver should find Travis Aaron Wade out in Hollywood and lock his ass on!
Wow! That’s awesome! Thanks for sharing, Dave!
I’ve always felt guilty that I didn’t deploy, but it was the luck of the draw, and it was my assigned duty to “hold down the fort” at home. I did that to the best of my ability, albeit with not much to show for it in the way of “bling” (my particular AFSC was especially stingy that way). It is what it is, and I’m proud to have served my country, and now my state.
We would know nothing of this if it were not for the love of a fathers little girl. I truly wish her well.
For those who have time watch this video by Adam Driver. He makes me proud that he is a brother of mine.
Thank you for posting this.
Thanks, I fell really short. Everything was going fine until my deployment to Kosovo in year 2000. Then after my deployment I started to notice it felt like I was breathing in and out my ears. I went to the doctor and was basically dismissed as a malingerer. I couldn’t take it and found a way out of the military after 21 months. I was honorably discharged. It kind of sucks because I know I should have been medically discharged for a disease called Patulous Eustachian Tubes. Both of my ears had it bad and I could hardly speak for 12 years after getting out of the military. I went to 3 doctors and an ENT doctor and none of them knew what it was I had. I finally found out on my own by using google and was able to get some basic help for it. It’s a rare disease and only 2 doctors who are ENTs in the USA are trying to help people with it.
I can’t get VA compensation for it, I’ve tried. They denied me because it wasn’t recorded in my medical records. I have a claim for it at the BVA. It ruined a lot of my life because you have to make real hard choices when you can hardly speak. I dropped out of college because of it after 4 years. What was the point of continuing if I can’t speak well and can’t teach or be a lawyer or something like that? The VA did compensate me for some other things. Of course now I have to try to keep it to myself because you know that when you’re that much of a short timer some people wonder why you should be compensated for life for your injuries.
Then on top of all that the people you served with will always remember that you left the service that way. I left months before 9/11/2001 too so I’ll never get to use any OIF/OEF benefits, oh well…
lily: Wow. What challenges you have faced for a long time because of your disease. I really feel for you.
Thanks for sharing your story. You chose to serve our country when you probably could have done something else and I’m sure there are others who appreciate you for doing that.
Sometimes, we are harder on ourselves than we should be. Hang in there. I hope eventually you will get more needed medical attention and help as well as an approved claim.
I’m hanging in there. I couldn’t get VA care until last year because you need two years or service connection to be enrolled. I was 70% SC last year. For 15 years I was pretty much on my own. My first claim was denied and I didn’t appeal it. I reopened it last year and was granted my award. I have three disabilities that all are known for making people want to kill themselves : raging tinnitus, patulous eustachian tubed and PTSD. Why am I still here? Because I’m a fighter and I’d rather die fighting than give into anything or anyone.
Never Quit
And if that seems far-fetched, and all else ‘motivational’ seems to fail, try “Don’t give the bastards the satisfaction.”
Stick around.
Here’s my disease – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patulous_Eustachian_tube
I was in basic training at Fort Dix in November of 69, I came down with pmomnia in week six. Had a 104 fever and coughing up chunks of lung. The drill sgt. drug me to the hospital! I was so afraid of being recycled I could have shit a brick! Thank God, after 4 days in bed, they managed to get my fever down and I was able to return to my same squad! I was always so thankful that the drill sgt didn’t recycle me! So I understand how you guys feel. This was a great perspective article Dave! You and Jonn, keep up the great work you guys do everyday! Both of you guys websites give me a reason to get up and read everyday! I can’t tell you how many articles that I have shared with family and friends!BZ to both of you!
Thanks again,
Bill
Bill, I had something similar during boot camp in 1965. We were forced to sleep with all the windows open for fear of the spinal meningitis that was going through the ranks at that time. My platoon sounded like a TB ward with all of the head and chest colds we suffered. I caught some kind of ear infection and went to sick call. I finished boot camp with blood seeping from one of my ears. I was damned if I would let them recycle me, I didn’t want to repeat one second of that 9 weeks.
I was afraid that my ears were going to kill me on the flight home but once the plane climbed out there was a hissing sound of my ears clearing and I was fine.
Must be something in the air a Dix. In AIT I got some sort of bug that made me cough every time I laid down. Sleep was almost impossible. I fell asleep during classes and the DI put me at parade rest at the rear of the room. I still fell asleep, and he would throw things at me to wake me up. When we performed sentry duty and had to “walk my post in a military manner” I woke up to find myself a hundred yards away walking in the middle of the street, still at right(?) shoulder arms.
If you did your time, gave 100%, do not embellish and you were Honorable, then you are good in my book. Even if you fall short, you are still good if you adhered to the above.
Peace or wartime, Honorable is good in my book.
If you are not Honorable, then to hell with you.
Substandard Discharges = Shitbags.
Both hubby and I regret not deploying for the “real shit”. I had multiple TDY’s, but nothing like some of you and many others experienced. Hubby went to Qatar at the end of his career and helped set-up the physical security at Al Udeid before the ground invasion in 03. He said that was the most satisfying part of his 20 year career. I volunteer/applied for several deployed civilian positions after I retired in 05, but no dice. We both served with honor, but it still leaves a feeling of guilt because so many others went multiple times. Our son is graduating from AF BMT on 7 Jul. He will, I hope/pray, serve with honor.
I had the same feeling – even went as far as recovering from a ACL reconstruction to try and deploy. At one point I had orders to Iraq, but they were cancelled 24 hours later – absolutely devastated me. I watched so many go over for their third or fourth deployment and I sat “on the sideline”. God must have had another calling for me…
I feel that God had other plans for us as well. My hearts desire was to live/work in Italy (grandfather immigrated from Sicily in the 1900’s). Went there TDY in 2000 as an augmentee to the USAFE IG. Felt at home instantly. So put in constantly for orders to Aviano AB. Nothing. Hubby and I went to Italy for our 50th b-days. Had a blast. Yet, the good Lord did not want us there full time. Now that the muslim scum invasion has and continues to occur, I thank Him for not making my dream come true.
Yeah. What Dave Hardin said.
[…] Are Failures 101 The Political Hat: Euthanasia Of The Hippocratic Oath This Ain’t Hell: Falling Short Is No Reason To Lie, also, Sub Commander Stephen Eberhart Sunk Weasel Zippers: Student Worker For Dem Org Jailed For […]
I’ve got my own story to tell on this…
I was the Director for Admin at the “A” school and had a young man that was being discharged for having a kidney disorder that was caught while in school and it would eventually result in him being a candidate for a transplant. The way the system was back then and how his doctor handled it on the medical side of the house, the Navy had to separate him from the service (he had less than 180 days of active duty service). Having to sign off on his paperwork and separate him, when he WANTED to serve was the lowest point in my career – I felt that I had failed him in every way possible. I still wonder, 15 years later, about him and pray that he is well and living a good, happy life.
This stuff happens. One of the Bronx boys passed a physical at the whitehall NYC induction center then when we got to the great lakes in 63, another physical turned up a heart murmmer and he was discharged. wonder what he is doing today.
the same thing happened to a guy in my Engineer OSUT Company at Fort Lost-in-the-Woods back in the early 90s, he was on his way to being a great Soldier, well motivated, etc. until they found he had a heart murmur and that was it.
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
For he’s with you, clear to the end
And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
Golf clap. Well said sir, well said.
I forgot to quote that ‘Anonymous’.
Yeah. -Exactly- so.
With all the shit I pulled while I was in I am just amazed that I got out with an Honorable Discharge.
all I can say is that I must have the world’s best Guardian Angel…
I personally appreciate this article.
I served for 4.5 years before being medically separated due to Type 1 diabetes revealing itself. Plans to go career and everything. I often felt like my time was way too short, but there wasn’t much I can do.
Thanks again for this!