Derek Alldred, phony SEAL still on the run
We wrote about Derek Alldred last year when women started lining up to get him arrested for his frauds that he committed against them. Well, he’s still on the run according to KARE11;
Woodbury City Attorney recently filed charges against Alldred for “impersonating an officer” with intent to mislead another. In Minnesota, posing as a military officer is only a misdemeanor, with a penalty that includes a potential fine and up to 90 days in jail.
Linda is frustrated the charges aren’t under the more serious federal Stolen Valor Act.
“It still makes me sick to my stomach that someone would pretend, that someone would take someone else’s uniform and put it on as if it was his own,” she told KARE 11.
If Alldred is to be held accountable, authorities will have to find him first.
He has been on the run since December, when he failed to show up for his sentencing hearing in an Arizona theft case.
Alldred was convicted of theft for taking and pawning the jewelry of another woman he met online. According to court documents, the Arizona victim also told police Alldred claimed to be a Navy Seal.
Yeah, well, Linda, Stolen Valor isn’t sexy enough for most prosecutors to pursue.
Thanks to Chip for the tip.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
“Yeah, well, Linda, Stolen Valor isn’t sexy enough for most prosecutors to pursue.” True enough, plus if he’s out of state, when he’s caught for something else, he may not be extradited. Happens all the time.
I can understand why impersonating an officer is only a misdemeanor but impersonating a Chief requires the death penalty.
Roger that, STSC (SW/SS). With great prejudice.
Damn straight… just a 30 second hearing and straight to the chair!
Hold up… and STS with SW as a primary?!? there’s something seriously wrong here…
Earned my SW in the reserves on a Mine Sweeper.
Chair HELL! Keel haul the scoundrel!!!
Any dickhead can be an officer but it takes great skill, effort and perseverance to become a Chief.
I made E-8 as a Senior in the AF, but I imagine getting to E-7 in the Navy is infinitely more difficult, just based on here-say and a gut feeling of my perceived fear of the Goat.
Death by goat trampling?
I agree 100%!!! (HeHeHe)
Chip, making E-8 is a feat anywhere you go. We make fun of our even number Chiefs all the time though. rite of passage if you will
I hope this guy is caught soon and has a severe accident while be taken into custody OR even has the unwise of fighting back and maybe even engaging with the authorities with a firearm.
Just sayin’ is all.
I imagine it can be difficult to walk when in cuffs. Here’s hoping he doesn’t have a ‘trip and fall’ accident when in custody. On second thought.
Are you hoping that he is “accidently impaled” on some phalluses that are owned by the BTJT Deli (Home of the WORLD FAMOUS COCKMEAT SAMMICH)?
This dickbag, IMO deserves the WALL O INSULTS and THEN some.
“I move that Derek Alldred, phony SEAL still on the run, has earned the WALL O SHAME.”
Second?
Second, and so moved.
I’ll try to come up with some dirtbag additives for you, ChipNASA. Oh, here’s one: herpes-ridden dung beetle target.
Added Ex-PH2.
“It is moved and seconded that Derek Alldred, phony SEAL still on the run, has earned the WALL O SHAME.” Is there any discussion?
All those in favor say “Aye.” Those opposed say “No.”
AYE!
Aye!
I… I who have nothing… I… I who am no one… I adore you and want you so!!!
That mug shot bottom row, 2nd from left, looks like he’s either got herpes (iiiiiccckkkk!) or someone punched him.
I do wish these women would stop being so gullible and mournfully desperate.
It’s a mushroom stamp.
May this POS be hunted down by bloodhounds and then filled with bullet holes for attempting to resist…
Just take him into the swamps and dump him.
He’d give the gators heartburn.
AYE! Send up the Wall O’ Shame on this waste of skin.
I have to admit to using select insults from the Wall O’ Shame here at the office from time to time. Mostly to brighten up my coworkers day and they are usually used to describe whoever in out Olympia HQ is the target of our ire on that given day. Just so you know, some of these are also launched at our Hanford Site Brethren in the Fed shed up the street.
You all contribute to morale of those of us Washington State employees who work in Richland, WA.
And as a someone who appreciates senior NCOs and their command of the more descriptive and creative aspects of our language, I am grateful for your continuing education of this former weekend warrior. 🙂
Well Dinotanker, As you voted “AYE” off we go….with all it’s recent additions. TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!! DANGER CLOSE!!!! MOPP LEVEL 4!!! TAKE COVER!!!!! Derek Alldred, phony SEAL still on the run, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken fucker, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, gaping, Cambodian cunt sauce, ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, sperm burping, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying, Bowl of ass soup, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, Mayor Grundle of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, culo de chongo, booger eating, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, moron, asshat, dick pickle, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, knob gobbling, galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, douche nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, Sitzpinkler, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, Pettifogger, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck you own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn… Read more »
Hey! He hates these cans!
Stay away from the cans!
That’s quite a collection of derogatory narrative. You must either be or hang out with Marines.
Per R.E. “I think you like to fuck sheep”, but hey, that’s none of my business as long as you buy the next round of beer.
Derick Alldred is hereby invited to “attempt” to lick my pet bull’s balls. Think he’ll bite for the offer if ya tell him there’s lots of $$$ cash stashed in the barn?
Yer shit was so funny I think you should write for “Dufflebag”.
SEMPER FI Bro
SSgt USMC,
E-8 USAF/USAFR 23 years, but I digress,
This has been a collective narrative that I have collected by myself at first but then has been contributed to by numerous individuals here.
It has become it’s own Word doc WALL OF INSULTS, living constitution.
Cheers
Loser.
ex-OS2:
Another phony SEAL in the open this morning, and you’ve seen this target before. Please re-engage.
Cleared hot.
Cocksucker.
Delayed, my apologies.
The amount of money some of these douchebags put into this BS amazes me
I didn’t even like spending money on dress uniform shit
He looks like Jim Carrey’s slightly less crazy brother. But not by much.
Are women so dumb that they are fooled by this guy?
Their desperation clouds their intelligence and judgement.
Well, just LOOK at him with your crotch instead of your brain. You guys look at women that way. Do you think we don’t do the same things to you?
JUST A THOUGHT – it’s NOT IF, IT’S WHEN the wino butt-sniffing QUEEF-HEAD of a booger-eating Swamp Donkey will get hauled in and become one more for Bubba & Thor!
You forget Julio and Mr. “Tiny”… poundthemintheassprison, which is truly a place of “equal opportunity” for all.
Plus, people never forget Julio and Mr. “Tiny”…