Eric Wolfe pleads guilty

| September 17, 2016

Eric Wolfe

We wrote about little Eric Wolfe back in June when he was arrested in Arizona for using a falsified DD214 and a phony story as an Air Force veteran to get himself some free stuff from people. Well, he was in court this week and he pleaded guilty to to counts of forgery;

Wolfe earlier this year was charged with three counts of forgery after he presented a forged/altered U.S. military document to obtain “veteran” designation on his Arizona driver’s license and to obtain two Arizona veteran specialty plates, according to documents filed in Maricopa County Superior Court.


The license plates and driver’s license would provide Wolfe fake proof for his fictional story about being a wounded warrior with post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injuries, court documents said. Wolfe told his story in public on several occasions and has raised money from organizations for himself, his business and his non-profit, court documents said.

According to the article, Wolfe had no military service, ever. Sentencing is scheduled for October 27th. I’m betting that he gets no jail time.

Eric Wolfe2

Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures

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Hack Stone

Well, at least now he can service his cell mates. While he is at it, he may want to alter that neck tattoo reading “Freedom”. Maybe he get a jailhouse tattoo artist to cover it with an arrow pointing to his mouth and reading “Deposit Sperm Here”.

Keepin' It Real

If I recall, he is the really short guy.

He’ll have an advantage in the pokey, he won’t ever have to get on his knees.

Hack Stone

He looks like he should be living under a bridge somewhere. A very short bridge. He is so small, his cell mate will only get half a pack of smokes when he pimps him out.


I think a dog collar will cover up the tat.
His cellmate can teach him to bark, sit, stay, roll over etc.

Hack Stone

Bring out the Gimp.

USMC 8151



He needs a giant tattoo on his forehead that says ‘D U H ‘

2/17 Air Cav

If you haven’t read the June comments regarding Tater Tot or it has been a while since you have, do yourself two favors. 1) Read them, and; 2) Don’t have anything in your mouth when you do. (I put this comment in the June thread by accident.)

Hack Stone

Some good shit in those comments. I posted a few replies to the old comments, and accidentally hit report on a few of them, but I blame that on my North Korean knockoff Apple phone.


Well, at least it isn’t one of the new Samsung phones with optional exploding device. I understand they are very popular with the muzzies.

Silentium Est Aureum

You should have looked a little closer at the logo, especially when it said, “Apper.”

Yeah, I know, I know. I’m going to hell.

MSG Eric

I agree, take a little trip to read the comments there. I even had to throw a little response in here or there myself. I have a small tickle in my throat from laughing so much.

It is a lot of comments, but a short and quick read if you’re able to spend a wee bit of time and a minuscule amount of effort.


Enjoy you POS….

Silentium Est Aureum

Have fun, Stumpy.

Fucker probably won’t even have to get on his knees.


The boys would love to have “papa smurf” service them…


Cave-dwelling dwarf? Munchkin gone sour? Hyena /cougar snack?

I’m short, and never hear the end of it. I made up a list of short jokes a long time ago, if anyone wants a review of them.

Hack Stone

He is so short, he will never reach his full potential.


“I’m short, and never hear the end of it.”

Fun Size…lol


How did I miss that???????????

MSG Eric

I have a friend who has a “I’m not short, I’m fun-size!” tshirt she wears. lol

A Proud Infidel®™

One look at him reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy routine where he talked about “Waterheads”, an inbred group rumored to live way out in the boonies. One look at this conniving little booger-muncher makes me think he’s one of them that looks normal enough to have escaped the woods and try to blend in! I heard he’s SO short he has to put an aspirin in his shoe any time he has a headache. IF the little shit gets any jail time I’m sure that Bubba & Thor will find his mouth to be very “purdy” in more ways than one!


PH2 … I have it on good authority that you are NOT short … You’re just wound up tight.

There, I fixed it for you.

The Russian defector, sitting beside me as we watch Florida State v Louisville (35 to 10, Louisville at the half), is 5’4″. A daughter, not a Russian and born at Bethesda, is a skosh over 5′.

One of you geniuses out there explain to me why measurements in feet get a single thinghy (‘), while inches get two thingies (“). Seems bass ackward and one of life’s great mysteries.

I wonder at what height women are considered short or petite? How about men?

I’m thinking women 5’3″ are considered petite while men at or less than, oh, 5’7″-8” are considered short. Short guys sure do get dumped on.


This dude is probably taller laying down that he is standing up.

He wouldn’t even make a good “Kewpie Doll”.

Used to be 5’7″ my ownself, but all of the “long fall, sudden stops” from being with the 82nd Airborne changed that. 😉


While in the slammer he can make his own plates in between servicing his cellmates.

Hack Stone

His landlord hit him up for the back rent. Eric Wolfe replied “Can I pay you later? I am a little short this month.”

Hack Stone

He could team up with Phildo. As Phildo works balls behind the Holiday Inn Express dumpster, Expedia Gnome Eric Wolfe can work them behind an ashtray.


Pizza Planet Green Three-Eyed Space Alien.

As they cast their eyes reverently upward from the bowels of the catch and release machine, they chime in unison:

“The Claaaaw”

“It decides who will stay and who will go.”

2/17 Air Cav

The craw?


“Shoot low, he’s riding a Shetland”!


Little cocksucker.

Holden Magroin

Things not to think about when sucking prison cock

“Shouldn’t the smallest guy be sucking the smallest cocks? Things seem to be inversely proportional here. Is there a complaint box or at least an inmate that’s my size? A hobbit, perhaps?”


MSG Eric

I bet his dog has pissed on his face a few times thinking he was a plant.


…or a fire hydrant.

A Proud Infidel®™

He’s SO short he’d need a booster chair to hop up on a cockroach’s back.

MSG Eric

That dog looks beat tired, Wolfe must ride him a lot since he can’t reach the pedals of a car, or the door handle.


A service dog. Always the service dog with these turds. I bet his dog shits bigger than him.


Probably so, Sparks, but he’s a bigger shit than his dog. Give that dog to a needy vet who paid his dues.

Green Thumb

Fuck this guy.

Alien-looking maggot.


Alien-looking Munchkin Maggot. Those ALMM’s just can’t stay out of trouble.

A Proud Infidel®™

Sniveling little snotnosed candyassed lying shitfaced bucket-headed maggot.

He looks like a “Mini-Me” version of Bernath with that dead rat on his lower jaw.


On a more positive note, the Constitution of this great country was signed on this date, 229 years ago, 1787.

Thank you great men and women who created this country so we could benefit from your efforts.
There has never been and is not presently a better country in which to live.

2/17 Air Cav

HMC Ret. See my comment in the WOT regarding your reminder.


2/17 Air Cav: Thanks, I saw it. Please note my response. Hard to believe 99.9% of the public isn’t fed up with this crap.

sgt. vaarkman 27-48th TFW

wonder if he put on his fake DD214 that his AFSC was that of wash rack aircraft T-38 belly washer, he’d be the perfect height for that job, wouldn’t have to crouch but could stand


Enjoy your time in Sheriff Joe`s Hootch Hotel asshole


OK, this guy is short. How about seeing a HS football player who is 7’1″ and 400 pounds? Take a peek …

And here’s another guy, 7′ and 440 pounds. Dudes be huge…

Hack Stone

He is short, when the cremate his remains, they will use an Easy-Bake Oven.

Hack Stone

This guy literally is a troll. Can Arizona authorities just sell him off to a low budget circus?


He was pissed, disappointed, or both when his plans to keep benefiting from his phony military claims fell short of what he was hoping to achieve. He comes across as someone that’d trust Daniel Bernath to fuel his scooter for a long distance trip.


Q: How do you piss of a midget?
A: Give him a yo-yo.

Q: Why don’t midgets need a wall to play handball?
A: They just use the curb!

If Pluto isn’t a planet because it’s too small, then are midgets really people?


I have someone like him that is using false military stuff for his business and has a tattoo on his arm and leg they never served. I wish someone would put him in his place


This asshole is so short that they wouldn’t let him on any carnival rides until he was 30 years old!


Aww…he’s ADORABLE!

5FT even? Seriously? He’s fucked…literally.

Silentium Est Aureum

I heard when someone rear ended him at a traffic light one day, he got out of his car, saw the damage, and said, “I am NOT happy!”

To which the other guy replied, “Okay, then which one are you?”

B Woodman

So, if he DOESN’T get jail time, can someone grab him and tattoo “STOLEN VALOR” across his forehead?


C’mon, guy. Just say it. Say it once. Just say “Follow the yellow brick road!” Do it!


What, no love for the Lollipop Guild?



This is disgusting. I hope he rots in jail.