Gersh Kuntzman, the sissy as a scold

I’m sure that you remember Gersh Kuntzman from his debut in our conciousness when he mischaracterized his experience firing a modern sporting rifle. Well, now, apparently, he’s offended because of a song. “God Bless America” sung at baseball games bruises his sensibilities.

When Major League Baseball ordered all teams to play the patriotic jingle after 9/11, I didn’t immediately object. Standing with my fellow fans, as one, and singing a paean to our country provided catharsis, comfort and shared heartache.

But it wasn’t long before heartache became headache. The Yankees still play it at every game, but most teams, like my beloved Mets, play “God Bless America” only on Sundays or holidays. But even that’s too much.

Part of my outrage stems from ponderous Mussolini-esque introduction of the song, when fans are asked to rise, remove their caps and place them over their hearts.

“Mussolini-esque”? it would be “Mussolini-esque” if the crowd was asked to remove their helmets and fire their scary, black rifles into the air. More of that famous Kuntzman hyperbole. But, mostly, he just cares what his foreign guests think;

The song still embodies great things about America, but also our worst things: self-righteousness, forced piety, earnest self-reverence, foam.

[…]

* Foreigners!: I once went to a Brooklyn Cyclones game with a British guy named James Silver, who smiled when “God Bless America” was being played. “It’s exactly what I expect from Americans,” he said. “The self-righteousness, the patriotism. It’s always nice to see my opinions confirmed.”

I expect Brits to vote against membership in the European Union and afterwards spend the rest of their lives complaining that they left the EU. But, yeah, let’s toss out a song from being sung at a sporting event, a sporting event most British don’t even understand, because they don’t like our patriotism. I don’t care if the Brits sing “God Save the Queen” or if the Germans sing “Deutschland Über Alles, Über alles in der Welt”. So what do I care what they think of our traditions…at a sporting event, for Pete’s sake.

Category: Dumbass Bullshit