Seeking advice for a mother of a new Soldier.
More specifically one who is going to be a medic. A few days ago I came across this message about a mother that has fears and concerns of our profession that her son will be learning. This was the request in full.
She is basically “scared to death” for him
• because he is so young,
• worried about what the impact of the trauma will do to him emotionally,
mentally,
intellectually.How she can prepare herself to be the best support person HE NEEDS.
Not hinder or hold him back.Have any Medics written any books, maybe from the Vietnam-era, that she could read so she is realistically prepared for what he MIGHT face.
Of course, it will scare her,
BUT she needs to PREPARE HERSELF, so she CAN BE STRONG FOR HIM!
I wrote that it would best for both her and him is to be honest with any fears or worries they have. The best way that she could help him is reminding him that no mater what happens that she will be there for him. But I felt it was lacking something, so as I promised I am reaching out to the medics and parents of medics on any further advice that could be given.
Category: Support the troops, Veterans Issues
Medics are good men.
They walk with the Infantry.
Tough, Resourceful, Honorable and Compassionate.
Your son is a good man to pursue this course of service.
Hold your head high and be proud.
If you and he are not Christians, accept Christ and pray for his protection and the protection of those around him…no better advice I can give!!
Amen, desert.
I was both proud and reassured that our son, before entering the service, sought the counsel of a number of Christen men who had served in various branches and conflicts – including one of my coworkers who had been SF in ‘Nam.
When he was deployed, we knew that the safest place in the world for him was to be where God wanted him to be.
Was he changed by his deployment – yes. Is he damaged? No.
Thank you Sir! I offer my highest and utmost respect for combat medics. The first person called when you’re wounded and the first person you’ll see over you. God bless and keep all those who serve…to serve the rest of us.
Battle Ready: Memoir of a SEAL Warrior Medic – March 12, 2013 by Mark L. Donald
Not quite the same, but he talks about how it impacted him over the long run.
What? Never tell mom the truth, are you crazy? You are always in the rear with the gear. Everything is rainbows and butterflies.
If her son needs her emotional support to become a Medic/Corpsman its best he change his profession.
If he was going to be a Corpsman I would tell her there are very few people in the world a Marine looks up to, her son would be one of them.
After thorough self-assessment, a (non-exhaustive) list of the jobs that I just don’t have the BALLS to do includes:
– Combat Engineer or EOD
– Aged care worker
– Childcare worker
– Mental health specialist
– COMBAT MEDIC
Thank God there are people out there with the desire and drive to do that job. Massive props.
Mortuary Affairs is also a tough one.
In total agreement with your perspective, especially the last sentence. Mommy would be up for “Drama Queen of the Year” if junior had wanted to become a Marine grunt!!! Let him go where he wants. Time to depart puberty and become a man. Don’t go overboard and embarrass the poor guy in public.
I didn’t write my mother for about a year while in the Corps. She called the Red Cross to find out where her son was.
They found me in Iceland and the 1stSgt instructed me on how to promulgate correspondence in a timely manner.
I had to deliver a letter to Mom on his desk every friday. She thought is was cute until I got home. She never contacted them again.
I am always willing to answer questions about my chosen profession. The first thing I will tell you is that just because your son becomes a 68W does not mean he will be sent to a line unit. There are many 68W’s that have spent an entire career nowhere near an infantry platoon. Even if your son ends up in an infantry battalion there is an even chance he will be an aid station medic and not a line medic. Some traits I would recommend your son display would include an eagerness to expand his knowledge base. There are always new techniques new data new treatment methods. Cultivating a thirst for expanding his skill base is one of the foundations of a good medic. Likewise I would also encourage your son to cross train in as many fields as are presented. Never turn down any class, keep records of all classes attended (as well as a hard copy of all official orders recieved) in your “I love me” book. And as always PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE! As for the emotional toll it takes… this is the hardest thing yo talk about. I won’t lie, being a Medic in a line platoon is one of the most emotionally taxing jobs in the military. The strain of responsibility is coupled with the close bonds that are shared with the platoon. You’re their “doc”. They look at you with a sense of hope, and trust that they’ll look at few others with. You will look into three face of a man who is scared, in pain, and he will ask you “am I going to die?” And you will lie to him. You will tell him to stop being a pansy. That of course he is going to live. You tell him this because it might be the only comfort you have in your power to give. Air might be black, or the firefight is still raging and you can’t EVAC him yet. It’ll break your heart and it will haunt you. You’ll question every decision, every treatment. You will cry. You will rage.… Read more »
I was no medic, I was airborne infantry, but there is a close relationship between the two. My advice is to cut the fucking umbilical cord and let him be a man. The medics I was deployed with were some bad ass dudes. Doc King was 6’5 245 lb guy and solid as a rock. I’d seen him carry 3 guys at a dead sprint, and that was just goofing off in training. A good combat medic is every infantryman’s favorite person on the battle field, but he can’t become that with his mother freaking out over the very idea of him enlisting. Also, we aren’t in ground troop wars anymore, so it isn’t like he will be in danger at any point in the near future. Quit being a pussy and embrace the fact that your kid wants to be a man, and wants to serve not only his country, but do so that is serving his fellow soldiers.
Steve, EOD just play with remote control cars, they dont actually get in harms way. Also, im pretty sure they hang out at the mwr tent for at least 10 hours after they get a call to an ied before they leave the wire. Something in the ROE about infantry patrols being required to wait a minimum of 12 hours before EOD shows up
Not our EOD. They lived with us on the PB for the entire deployment. Every week we would take them out to reduce known and suspected IED’s. Many a firefight was had when they walked with us.
Yeah.
I have had to wait on them dudes.
If your son gets assigned with the Grunts or a combat arms unit he’ll be with some of the best men in the Army. Other than that she needs to let him go learn the ways of the warrior and cut him loose.
No medic here but Mom really needs grab the scissors, cut the apron strings, let her little boy become a man. (After I wrote that, I saw Smitty’s comment: “My advice is to cut the fucking umbilical cord and let him be a man.”) Minds and all that.
When you are right, you are right
What does this woman REALLY want anyway? And why is she asking complete strangers to provide it for her?
She is specifically seeking comfort from medics from back in the day? Why?
Until she answers some of that within herself, I seriously don’t want to hear anything else from her. And I certainly hope that her son is allowed to grow up without further interference from her.
Well, you can see why the kid wants to get away from home!!
Some good advice posted. I’m thinking from what I read, she really just wants information, and to be kept ‘in the loop’ so to speak. Probably not going to happen from your son, mom, but there is such a wealth of information on the web, plus social media, that just sharpen your google-fu skills, and arm yourself with information. If little johnny isn’t a medic, or a soldier yet, he’s still got a long way to go before you need to worry about anything. In the meantime, read up about about what he needs to accomplish. If you ask “So what are doing?” You’ll probably get “Not much.” Ask specifics, you’ll get more specific answers. As stated above, he’s a attempting something not many are pysically or mentally capable of. It won’t be easy. And post back when he’s done the training. You’ll get better feedback when this group knows he’s responsible for the first line health care of a Platoon of Joes. Even if he’s a Motrin dispenser in the BN, he’ll have earned the title. Basically, “My son has accomplished this and I have questions” will ellicit a much better response here/elsewhere than “My son wants to do this”. Just my .02
He’s got the best job in the Army and he’s going to love Ft. Sam (trust me on this one).
Wherever he goes after AIT he’ll get the chance to learn a lot and do a lot of cool stuff.
Dealing with trauma is tough. Try to develop some professional distance from those experiences, don’t carry them around with you forever if you can help it.
Don’t go reading books about someone else’s war experiences-who knows how that will match up with what your son will do-if it comes to it. There is a film that they showed us post deployment that shows some of the signs of PTSD/psychological trauma. They should show it to families as well-see if you can watch that through family support and find out from them what kinds of support he can get from the Army (once he gets to his duty station).
Maybe he’ll go on to do something medical after the Army (I’ve known M.D.s who were enlisted medics first and God knows how many P.A.s and R.N.s), maybe he’ll stay in the Army in some form and maybe he’ll just get on with his life. In the overwhelming majority of cases this will be a positive experience for him and he will gain a lot from it. I have no regrets.
Advice to the Mother of any US Military Warrior:
-Always support and love them. They’re not the politicians who decided their mission.
-Know that they have the best equipment, training and Leadership in the world.
-He or she is not the little boy or girl they used to be. They’re now a man or a woman. Treat them as such.
-Be damn proud of them. They’re doing something few have the guts to do.
-Know that they love you.
Can’t give the young man any advice, since I wasn’t a medic.
As for his mom, the only advice I can give her is threefold.
First, let him know you’ll always be there for him.
Second: this will be damned hard – but back off. Although he’ll always be your son, he’s no longer your “little boy”. He’s now a man; he needs to live his own life. If you’ve raised him correctly he’ll be fine. Pushing or “butting in” at this point may well end up being counterproductive.
And, lastly: DO NOT PRY. Never. Ever. Especially if he deploys, there are some things he WILL NOT willingly discuss with you – either before or afterwards. If you persist in prying you risk stressing your relationship with him PAST the breaking point.
Hindo, Best advise for this Mom. Thank you
I left off part of my title (beginning with a G) for not to frighten her more.
As all the rest of you should remember all MOM’s worry not matter what about their children whether small or grown. And I do believe every one of you has a MOM somewhere. Be kind.
And I do know there is no book or website that will prepare a Mom for what her son is about to partake in. All I can say Pray, turn off the TV and learn to read a good comedy.
I agree with Mickey ( a Moms perspective) and Hindo (military perspective). My son was in the military. I thought he was a mechanic. LOL. Not even close. I am so very proud of him. Only 10 percent of eligible men and women join the military. Be proud. God Bless both of you
What Mickey and Sue said! My son is active duty Army, and will finish his last contract with the Army in December. As a Mom, she will worry, no matter what. I quit watching the news the day my son left for his first deployment and won’t start again until he’s done in the military. I have chosen not to watch movies about the Iraq wars because it brings this all too close to home. Having said that, I would tell this mom to trust her son, his training, and his battle buddies and put her son in God’s hands. She will lose some sleep, she will cry buckets of tears, but at the end her son will be something to be so proud of — someone who volunteered to put on a uniform and stand between us and harm. I would also suggest that she find a support group to help her through this, whether its the Blue Star Mothers or some online group. I can attest to the help I have gotten that way!
You’re welcome, dear lady. Coming from you, that means one helluva lot.
And though completely inadequate – thank you.
Tell her to calm her tits and quit drinking all the koolaid the anti military turds are saying about military service.
Support your damn son.
He should spend some time working at a veterinarian clinic, especially when people bring in their pets to be euthanized.
Dealing with death is difficult enough when it’s one of your own. But if you can’t handle it when it isn’t yours, you’ll never get past that.
And if he can’t handle that part of being a medic, which is inevitable, he should not be there. Even if he doesn’t actually go into combat, he may still have to face it.
Amen to that… I wanted to be pre-med and was working in a hospital one bad summer we lost 5-6 folks, some I had known for several years. Helping clean the corpses of people I had known that long showed me that I was headed the wrong direction.
I was a 91B back in the day, which is the same thing as today’s 68W. We didn’t have this sort of training when I went through the course at Ft. Sam, but we did have a “dog lab” during civilian AEMT (Paramedic) school some years later. An awful experience, but yes, invaluable skills.
Don’t need medics anymore. Our wars will be fought with better ideas. El Presidente Bozo said so yesterday.
The only thing harder than being a Trooper is loving one.
My heart goes out to her, I understand how she feels as I am the parent of one and have a son in law that was a combat medic.
Not an easy place to be as you watch the news.
That would be my first suggestion, stop watching the news.
She should go down to her local Fire Station. Odds are that one of the paramedics on one of the shifts is a former medic or corpsman.
Disclaimer :(I was a flight medic with Dustoff for most of my 12 years in the Army.I’m a retired civilian paramedic (25 years). Having served in the late 70s and the 80s, never saw a shot fired in anger) but even in time of peace you take care of the sick and injured. My point is, she can best serve him is just by being the loving mother that she has always been, and just be proud that he ( if he performs as he should)will be revered and respected by the troops he is charged with taking care of. I wasn’t “Special” anything, but nothing, no tab, or bolo badge could ever make me more proud than when a Plt Sgt looked at one of his injured soldiers and said: “You’re going to be fine..this guys a Flight Medic”..
Best advice I ever heard for an Army mom-
If the United States Army sees fit to issue him an automatic if weapon, you no longer have to cut the crusts off his sandwiches
Denise’s comment prompts me to post this link. It is worth reading a few times. It may not be what the Worried Mom wants to read but…
http://www.chicagonow.com/uncommon-sense/2015/05/memorial-day-message-veterans-gold-star-mother-20150525/
Jonn and Friends I have invite some special experienced Military Moms to comment on this… please be kind as I know you will
Another Gold Star Mom.
2/17 Air Cav, no these wonderful Moms have active and retired sons and daughters
Just to be clear to all. You (Mickey GSM) and Denise Williams are Gold Star Moms and those you invited to stop by are not. Is that correct?
you are correct.. they are not GSM’s
about the Moms I invited to comment.
Medic-to-be Mama, if you’re reading this, just remember that nothing that is worthwhile is ever easy, and it can be dangerous. Your son will have the best training in the world, and the best men around him as he practices his profession. And in the end, whether he dies as a young man on a battlefield or an old man in his bed, he will have contributed more to this world in one day of his life than most people do in an entire lifetime.
Thank you my sweet sister.
Hi from another Military Friend Mom…Mickey asked us to come and post to you. To the sister who posed the original question, I would like you to please feel free to contact me by email, and I would like to invite you to join us in our FB place…and I also thought Hondo gave great advice. Both of my sons were “in”…and my husband is a VietNam vet so I know the ladies at our FB site can help you…you will meet the best people in the world on there. We all get it.
Sporkmaster can you contact me please Thanks
The mother needs to tell the son to go hard early…if he wants to be a medic…SF is hiring. Only the best make it.