Kirjath Toney, the 4-star general
One of our ninjas dug up some more stuff, on poor Kirjath Toney who we’ve been victimizing over the past year or so. We didn’t realize that he’s a 4-star general, according to his business listing on Yelp!;
And we didn’t know that his lungs had “received” white phosphorus you know that stuff that we use to burn metal with in the Army – that stuff that burns until it runs out of oxygen. We used it to destroy Iraqi AKs and vehicle engines. But General Toney had “received” it into his lungs;
See we didn’t know all of that stuff, so we’re sorry, General Kirjath. We can’t wait to see the documentation, though. It will probably keep us up nights.
Category: Phony soldiers
His CIB doesn’t have any stars. Does that mean that he is legit? I mean, all of the contenders have at least one star.
Damn, now I feel guilty. How could we have been so wrong? Sorry GEN. /s
YGBFSM.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse.
And to think that the I.O.O.F condones this turd’s buffoonery.
I still can’t decide, Y’all tell me if you think he looks more like either a North Korean General or a third world Generalissimo!
Kind of looks like a Romanian school crossing guard.
Or a 1850’s East German Police Chief!
The preview button is your friend; wait, there isn’t one.
Forget it, he’s rolling.
True; true.
Yeah, I meant a NINETEEN fifties East German Police or Stasi Chief, fat fingers and not enough coffee.
Was the white phosphorus gift-wrapped when his lungs ‘received’ it?
Isn’t this gasbag close to 80? I’d just bet he wants a funeral parade with a black horse leading, with boots reversed in the stirrups, too. It’s a shame, isn’t it, that he’ll be remembered for his delusions of grandeur instead of for accomplishing somethng good?
According to GEN Toney, the documentation was destroyed/lost/classified but despite this, he has access to the destroyed/lost/classified proof in his uniform pocket and is more than willing to show it to you… If you can find him, on a leap year, at dusk behind a tool shed, in one of the states…
Can you narrow it down? Last I heard there were 57 states.
Charles: That’s right, our bedwetting prez of the US told us there are 57 states.
Maybe we should address him as GEN(W) Tomey, the “W” means “Wannabe”.
Apparently their “General Military Leadership” gang uses military rank. Saying “Retired 4-Star General” sounds much more impressive than adding IOOF to the title.
The Salvation Army uses a military rank structure too, but you don’t hear of them touting about being a “retired” General.
Didn’t Chevy retire from the CAP?
Chevy was CAP? HE must have been their blimp!
Like how Dennis (Denny) Howard Chevalier left off the “Auxiliary” and “Civil Air Patrol” out of the “Civil Air Patrol US Air Force Auxiliary” full title before the “retired.” He could’ve gotten away with saying, “Civil Air Patrol Retired,” or just “CAP Retired.”
Kirjath Toney and Dennis (Denny) Howard Chevalier should meet for a 7 pound block of government cheese. 😀
Yelp, huh?
Something tells me he may regret that shortly.
Didn’t a “lawyer” we know sue Yelp? I see a conspiracy forming.
Why, yes- yes our favorite phoney (never was 🙂 CPO did indeed sue Yelp
You know, I actually know where one of these ‘oddfellow’ lodges are located in the Cincinnati area. It’s up in Norwood, really close to the highway.
Maybe I’ll pay them a visit.
I’ve seen a couple of Cops episodes where they were with the Norwood PD.
This guy either has mental issues, or he is incredibly insecure and dishonest for a man his age.
Very appropriate that he is a member of the Odd Fellows.
He also claims to be a minister… I’m sure there are a few passages in the Good Book about being a liar or deceiver.
Congratulations on the promotion, Phoney Toney!
You appear to have what it takes.
Can’t really peg him with anything.
He was speaking “generally”……….
Kirjath Toney , a native of Kentucky, claims he served in Korea from 1951 to 1954, and then was stationed at FT Hood, TX and FT Polk, LA.
On 10/21/1958, the The Daily Reporter newspaper from Dover, OH (page 7) reported a taxi driver named “Kiriath Toney” witnessed a bank robbery.
“Canton Man Stands Trial For Robbery LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP) — The defense opens its case today in the trial of Charles A. Walker, one of two men accused of staging the largest bank holdup in recent city history. Walker, 30, and Darl D. Parker, both of Canton, Ohio, were indicted for the $109,953 robbery of a branch bank last Dec. 9. Parker, wounded during a Jail break, will be tried next March. One of the prosecution witnesses Monday was Mrs. Joyce L. Remole who identified Walker as one of the bandits. Her testimony was supported by Miss Nancy Mathison, another bookkeeper at the Citizens Fidelity Bank & Trust Co. branch. Taxi driver Kirjath Toney, who said his vehicle was parked opposite the bank at the time, told of seeing two men emerge with white sacks and jump into a car. Toney said he followed the car and obtained the license number. Mrs. Katheryn Buchman, bank teller, Identified her handwriting on a $5 bill that FBI agents said came from Walker’s coat.”
If Kirjath Toney produces documents showing he was in the military in 1958, here’s credible evidence showing he wasn’t.
Oof. That could leave a mark!
Ahhh, but wasn’t that during Blue Helm 0.327 when he was doing his super secrit squirrel stuff as a taxi driver (working along side Bobbie DeNiro and Jodie Foster if I remembers correctly). He had to come out of character cause of the seriousness of the crime he witnessed. I unnerstan he had to really hold himself back from just droppin’ these two dudes on the spot and would have done so if his Willie Peteified lungs hadn’t acted up just as he was puttin’ on his secrit squirrel suit.
Great catch! *applause*
Between you and OldCorpsTanker72, it almost looks as though Phony Toney’s delusions are going to evaporate into thin air.
This is getting more and more interesting.
Since every GO/FO, retired and active, has a bio listed by the respective service, it should be easy to find his. Oh, one doesn’t exist, you say? Well, that was easy.
Fort Polk wasn’t open in the late 1950s.
Oh, man, OldCOrpsTanker – you just displayed the inconvenient troof!
Now what on earth will Phony Toney do?
Tanker, the 1st Armored Division was based at Polk in the ’50’s.
I know that Wikipedia says the 1st Armored Division was at Polk in 1959, but if they were, they must have been as secret squirrel as old Toney himself. In 1961, Fort Polk had been closed for years, and was reopened because of the Berlin Crisis or the Cuban Crisis, not sure which. My father’s Reserve unit in Baton Rouge was called to active duty to reopen the post. I remember it well, because my whole family uprooted and moved to Leesville for the year. I was a 6th grader at the time, was one of only a very few “Army” kids in the town until the arrival of the 49th Armored Division several months later, and I was in more fistfights that year than the whole rest of my life combined. My father was Post Engineer. Were he still alive, he could verify that the fort had been shut down for years, and there was a tremendous amount of rehabilitation that had to be done before the place was ready for occupancy.
I don’t know where Wikipedia gets its information, but their article on Fort Polk is seriously flawed.
OK, here you go, from the Fort Polk website, which seems to be a little more accurate than Wikipedia.
“Thousands of soldiers learned the basics of combat here during the World War II Louisiana Maneuvers. Afterwards,the post was opened for the Korean War and then closed.
It wasn’t until the 1961 Berlin Crisis that Fort Polk reactivated on a more permanent basis and became an infantry training center in 1962.
My dad was a Reception Center company commander at Ft. Polk around 1961-62. Ft. Polk was open at that time and we lived in family housing there, though, I think I was bussed to a civilian school (fuzzy memory).
I do remember the principal on the intercom telling us we might get hit by missiles from Cuba and we kids were all frightened. I also remember the “duck and cover” drills.
I have no doubt that Kirjath “received” a white hot load from a guy named Willie and a guy named Pete… No doubt whatsoever.
Damn you, GD Contracter! No one will be able to top that comment. That just leaves me wondering whether his mailbox has a door.
Dammit, GD, how ’bout a “spew alert” first?
😀
I’m sending you the bill for the brain bleach, you wretch!
Well played GD, well played indeed!
He got it while in the village of Gang Bang U, in Ho Lee Phuq Province…
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH,what a fucking tool.
Gen Macarthur shore-wading detail medallion, check, Planet Hoth Winter AND Summer campaign ribbons, check, Space Shuttle Door Gunner tab, check, more than 5 expert badges for weapons that haven’t been used since Teddy R rode up San Juan Hill, check.
Yep, seems totally legit.
Guy looks like Asa from the Andy Griffith Show. What a dipshit.
Toney, see, this is why it’s always better to tell the truth.
One, there’s less to remember, and two, the AlGoreNet NEVER forgets.
Karma is a bitch, and she’s in heat.
I fear we’re going to lose this one with the locals with the primary reason being the blurring of his actual military awards and decorations with those of the Odd Fellows. Considering that a cab driver ascended to four-star rank in their organization, I would not anticipate a great deal of well thought out response from their leadership.
More likely they will treat us with that old time-honored American response of circling their wagons and protecting their own. We should not disparage them too much for that even if the intent is misdirected. It’s their community, their organization, and their phony friend and member, not ours. We are outsiders who are telling them bad things about a probably loony old Korean War vet they’ve known for years.
The simple truth is, whether he’s a phony or not, he’s one of them.
And we’re not.
Just sayin…
But since he’s sporting bling that one gets for being one of OUR own, that makes him a legitimate target of our wrath, not to mention possible stolen valor laws. Would not drumming up business for both the IOOF and his church be considered a “tangible” benefit also? Wearing and claiming a SS no doubt would add credibility to his recruitment yarns.
We went round and round with this asshat when he first showed up. He corresponded pretty readily with a few of us who were willing to meet him in Northern VA when he came for his Arlington visit and look over what he had for records so we could correct what NPRC had. He was willing until he figured out that we would need real proof, like orders, before we would take his word for any of it. After that, he shut down. We also contacted the IOOF leadership, who pretty quickly let us know that we needed to STFU because we didn’t know what we were talking about. Someone finally sent Jonn that letter from a third party that is absolutely meaningless.
So, the IOOF now owns his foolishness and doesn’t seem to care, and the asshat won’t stop playing war hero. The only real retribution that any of us will get will be when he finally drops dead and his family tries to get all of that stuff on his uniform on his VA headstone and is told to go screw.
Well look below.
ANC doesn’t like his shit.
BOOM.
Can we get a price check on Cecil Taylor, another Odd Fellow that posted a comment in the FaceBook comments above? His Facebook page shows him wearing a uniform with 17 ribbons and Colonel insignia.
Aide de Camp to the General?
Aide de Camp to the False Commander Phil Monkress at All-Points Logistics.
Give the old delusional geezer a break. Go to his card with him standing in front of a car, double right click to enlarge, and you will see the guy has some rather nice tits. I wonder if he was the dude driving a cab once when I asked him where the titty bars were? Without hesitation he opened up his front shirt!
Minor correction on my last post. That being, two LEFT clicks to enlarge the picture. Meanwhile, do I remember him attending a “General’s Ball” and along with his lady guest, being reported as the only Four Star, Four Tit couple present? Could he have been the one they called General Titty? Finally it registers: He was the first trial breast implant patient on which white phosphorus was used. Those aren’t big tits, they’re big lungs! But small enough for a training bra.
Well, Toney the Phoney responded to an email I sent him, calling him out about his claim that he ingested white phosphorus into his lungs. I essentially said that he’d have been an ash heap if he really had. Here’s his reply:
“John this will be the last time that I will answer you on line ,Because you don`t know what you are talking about, I was not discharged from the army in 1958, I was Discharged in Sept. 1956 from the Hospital at Fort Polk La. your Info.is all Bad. But you will be hearing from me again”
Funny, but I never said anything to him about when he was discharged. Maybe he was indeed in the hospital at Ft Polk, but for ingesting WP?
I imagine old Phoney Toney has “ingested” some things “deeply” in his past but I doubt WP was one of them.
WTF is he talking about? Here is the FOIA record published at TAH May 5, 2104.
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?attachment_id=45964
Dates of service: July 7, 1952 – August 27, 1956
PHM is noticeably absent.
Dementia + the weight of all those medals must be heavy on the mind.
The last part of my post was cut off…
Hardly likely. As likely as he’s really a 4-star general and he earned those awards that he’s wearing.