Colonel Garrison; out on the town with his phony stories
Someone sent us this video of a fellow sitting in a bar, trolling for drinks. He claims that he’s been in all of the branches of services, he’s been a pilot, special forces, enlisted and officer. He’s been in every conflict since Panama. A real American hero [sandwich];
Stolen Valor!!! So I finally decide to go have a beer tonight, and I run into this POS. Full Bird Col, Ranger, Combat Jump Wings, AASLT, EFMB, 1st Cav Combat Patch…..but wait, there's more! Just watch the video….called him out outside… Mr. Garrison, you may get away with that at other places but not here bub! #StolenValor, #NotOnMyWatch, #PunkCardPulled
Posted by Jeremy OBrien on Wednesday, April 29, 2015
The fellow videoing the encounter just lets him go on and on with his BS. You have to watch the whole 7 minutes to get the full phony effect.
Category: Phony soldiers
Not wasting seven minutes of my life on that POS, I saw the beginning and will take your word on the rest. 🙂
Agreed. Dude looks like cheese dick Heavy Chevy. Wonder if he’s a MENSA member too. All Points Logistics material, yea or nay?
Vote yea on APL material, the stoopid is strong with this one.
I second for a vote !!!!!!!
POOP POOP POOP!
End of statement.
P.S
If Bernasty had a son or a boil on his ass.
Bernasty IS a boil on someone’s ass.
On a good day, with a tailwind, going downhill.
Rustle, rustle, bitch.
Don’t these doofuses know they’re too easy to expose to the light of day?
No they don’t… It’s called gaming the system. In fact… well maybe. I have a feeling before all of this stupidity is over something bad may happen. That will finely bring to light how serious a issues these turds are…. Just Saying.
My God. 5 minutes of non-stop bullshit. This clown is one of those guys that is so deluded that he doesn’t realize the total absurdity of the stories he tells, and how phony that number and variety of his badges/awards appears. And of course he’s “Ranger qualified.” Looks it, too.
Colonel Garrison is an example of a Stolen Valor extremist. Hope he is positively identified and dealt with by local authorities.
This assclown really believes it… listen to his voice – and he doing his damnedest to sell his story to the guy with the cell phone.
I picture Bernasty and DuLlAsS actually swearing and screaming while telling their bullshit stories.
I’ll give him this. He’s thought a LOT about his story and is smooth.
Yep. He’s ddone A LOT of research. He DOES beleive his own story. Must’ve been in a short time in some branch, then just rolled with it. I appreciate how the guy with the camara didn’t confront him; just let him roll and ruin himself. What a peice of work.
He’s got as much chance of being a Ranger as I do.
And that ain’t a good chance.
Dumbass.
‘Stixx – he’s one of them “special” Rangers… a rump riding ranger.
Maybe he’s a highly trained and experienced Pastry Assassin and we just don’t know it yet?
Well, he does seem to be losing the battles of Jelly Donut and Chimichanga.
Every one he eats, means one less on the streets. He’s taking them all for you and me.
Pinkard and Bowden FTW!
COL(Soon to be retired) Garrison and CSM(R) Tammy McPherson really need to hook up.
What a truly awesome Command Group of a DRG Sub-Chapter they would make.
Guess his state guard has standards similar to those Heavy Chevy met?
What a complete clown. Yeah, the USAF bumped folks with a private pilot’s license to the last part of flight training, when? Uhm, like never.
I thought he said it was Army WOCs? Still, same thing. That shitbird doesn’t seem to realize that WOCs and flight school are two different things. Now if he’d said he was able to jump part of flight school, such as ground phase, then I might…just might…have believed him. Prior flight experience gives one a leg up in flight training, but if I remember correctly, it doesn’t allow the student to jump several courses of instruction.
You are likely correct. That entire thing was such a cesspool of assorted excrement that keeping the details straight was impossible.
He’s just so silly. Wants us to believe that he was enlisted, a warrant office AND an officer? (Pretty sure he also claimed driving fixed wings in the Air Force – but I am not going to punish myself by watching it again!)
Back when my Dad became an Army Warrant Officer, his class had both WO and regular officer candidates in it. Not sure if that was usual or not. He graduated the first week of January 1942.
He said “state guard”, not affiliated with the National Guard. State Militia. Some states have these clowns. They have no military training, spin the wheel of rank to see what rank they wear, and can wear whatever they want for badges. In Ohio if you read a book about it you can wear the badge.
That’s what Chevy did with the Texas State Guard. But his MESNA kicked in and he chose CPL even though he had claimed to be a LtCol 130 pilot.
Wouldn’t be surprised if he was a state guard piece of crap. Living in the land of delusions. Probably a paintball all-star too.
That or he’s a member of an Airsoft Special Farces Militia!
Nah… he’s Cody “xBox commando” Stermer’s CO
Did he eat an entire garrison to get his name?
No, his Guard Barracks has a glory hole in the latrines. You can put two and two together.
Garrison is one self-centered SOB, he never introduced the fellow wrapped around his neck.
Great one !
When I am bored I go out and explain my uniform to random dudes in bars.
Fat ass loser.
He puffed up with that smug, proud look when he showed off his rack (not the rack of tits under his uniform)….I wanted to punch him. What a cocky, proud peice of crap. I almost, almost, feel bad for him. Jeez.
He looks like a hybrid cross between Blobfish, the Round Ranger, Phildo and DullASS. I bet he’s never met a jelly doughnut he didn’t like, and he makes shit up like Daniel A. Bernath!
*SNORT*, *PTUI*
If John Candy made a poser video….
The dude really ought to watch his mouth with regards to opsec. I feel like I could launch a nuke missile now that he explained which direction to turn the switch. Oh my. Way to go Uncle Buck.
Goddamn, the Colonel speaks with such a fiery passion! Almost brings a tear to my eye! I’d like to dedicate a little song to the Colonel, if I could. 😀
I love the iron of ZZ Top’s Sharp Dressed Man playing in the background. I also love how all these fakers always answer directly to the President. When he mentioned he was in the Nuke community I wanted to jump through the screen and start going Perry Mason on his lard ass. I may not be able to pick apart a lot of special ops stuff, but I supported the Nuke world enough to throw out enough acronyms to make his head spin on his multiple chins.
Wow. He gives fat pieces of shit everywhere a bad name. The kernel of corn in my morning shit is more qualified to be a colonel than this toad.
Whoa!
He makes Derek Church, the Round Ranger, look lean and mean … well, sort of.
Homey needs to hit the gym.
Good thing its raining here in Iowa today, otherwise I’d be out in the fields, but to waste my good time on this Col. Garrision is not going to happen. Stay dry you guys, I’am off for a cold Bud Lite.
Sam
8TFU…even the local dependabottomus corsortium laughs at this delusional toss-piece.
LOL. Holy crap :)! I just lost my hamburger Hahahahaha. :).
A few questions and observations.
First, does he have two fake military identification cards, one for him, and one for his neck?
If one of the buttons happened to pop off his uniform, what are the chances of the guy filming the interview losing an eye?
Where can I purchase of body hugging cammies being sported by the good Colonel?
Does this bar have anything on their playlist beyond ZZ Top?
As to (see, slipped in another one) his story, wow. This guy is definate APL material, so we can expect someone to go full throttle defending his false claims. I just hope that his defender is just as amusing as that guy that did battle for Phil.
This guy makes Chevy look legit….
Walrus blubber chin going on.
Got to love that white Tee-shirt!!! What a bottom feeder!!!
I want to see an update on this guy. Someone HAS to know who he is, personally or professionally. Has anyone started a FOIA (or whatever it is) on this guy? This may be one of my favorites of all time on this site. He’s so serious. Oh man. The guy with the camara has to find him again – maybe in the same bar again. This one is classic. I can’t get enough. I need more on him!!!
Give it a few days. I bet TAH will provide an update on this guy.
Fuckers like this are basically calling everyone they meet stupid by spinning this shit. Just once I would love to see someone slap the shit out of them in mid sentence and rip the unifprm off of them.
How bad does your life have to suck that you have to invent another life out of thin air?
I’m sure he was on loan to the UK to show the SAS how to rescue the hostages at the Iranian Embassy…a true badass!
mah sergeant major had a long talk with me and said “skipper we got to find another watering hole” LOL