Mc Haji’s Navy

| February 26, 2015

From reading comments on pieces I’ve posted here previously, I know that a significant number of the folks who read my stuff are old enough to remember the TV sitcom Mc Hale’s Navy. I’d wager that when you think back to that show, terms like clumsy, bumbling, and goofballs come to mind. Well, now we have a 21st-century reincarnation of that bunch of goofy goombahs – Mc Haji’s Navy, which occasionally treats the world to video tidbits every bit as funny as Mc Hale’s ever were.

This time, it’s an event that has actually been much anticipated since observation satellites first detected what appeared to be a U.S. Navy super-carrier under construction at an Iranian naval base on the Persian Gulf coast. It was quickly determined through further observation that the structure was merely a mock-up, a sort of Persian Potemkin barge without power or apparent purpose. There was much speculation at the time as to what the Iranians could be up to in going to the expense and trouble of building such a behemoth. The Iranians told Janes that it was a movie prop, but most military pundits agreed that it was designed to be a realistic target ship for training Iranian air and naval forces in opposing the presence of U.S. Navy carrier groups in the Persian Gulf.

Those who leaned toward target practice were right on the money. Iran has released a video that purports to show the tactical prowess of its naval forces in defeating a U.S. super-carrier in a swarming attack of small, missile, and torpedo-equipped attack boats. The video shows a group of Iranian Pooh-Bahs observing the operation, dubbed Great Prophet 9, from a comfortable covered platform, with one of them apparently directing the attack by radio.

Enter Mc Haji’s Navy, with a line of several small attack boats approaching the huge, totally isolated carrier in a line abreast formation – which would render them shooting gallery ducks in an actual confrontation, where an American carrier under attack would have combat air cover, fast-mover aircraft that could simply fly down that line abreast, strafing with cannons that would be more than sufficient to destroy such small, vulnerable targets. But even if that air cover should not be available, the on-board weapons systems on the carrier and its escort vessels, such as Phalanx and the Typhoon chain gun, would obliterate the attacking craft with deadly efficiency long before they ever got as close to their target as the video depicts.

And that is why Mc Haji’s Navy is every bit as comical as McHale’s. The complete unreality of the events depicted in the Iranian video has to make the world wonder just how detached these clowns are. They spend all that time and money to build a mock-up aircraft carrier to show the world how they will counter the superiority of the U.S. Navy, and then they conduct and film their exercises in what can be described only as a laughable demonstration of their complete tactical ineptitude and their total inability to comprehend the reality of the threat they face from the United States Navy. They completely ignore the reality of the heavily armed escort vessels that constantly guard the perimeter of a carrier, and they make no allowances for the aircraft, which are also a hovering, deadly presence over the mother ship. Yet Mc Haji’s Navy crows victory.

And Obama wants to let these fruit loops have nukes?

Crossposted at American Thinker

Category: Politics

19 Comments
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Andy11M

Still waiting for them to do that freedom of the seas/presence patrol off our coast.

Flagwaver

From what I heard, one of the ships went down and the other had to be towed to a neutral port by that country’s navy.

thebesig

Originally posted by Andy11M:

Still waiting for them to do that freedom of the seas/presence patrol off our coast.

They cancelled the plans and called them off instead of sending them across the Atlantic Ocean.

So, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had their IRR Sailors do a “Google Map” search of the US East Coast instead. :mrgreen:

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/13/iran-us-warships-atlantic-diplomat-border

AndyFMF

America is not the powerhouse we think it to be. We have more in common with this book than we think. http://www.amazon.com/We-Were-Caught-Unprepared-Hezbollah-Israeli/dp/1453690204

After the exercise I was just involved with, I would consider this (the link) the rule rather than the exception.

http://dailycaller.com/2014/03/03/video-iranian-drone-buzzes-u-s-aircraft-carrier-in-persian-gulf/

And considering the availability of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VA-111_Shkval
Just how close do the boats have to get?

OSC(SW) Retired

Actually a more appropriate book would be Roger Thompson’s Lessons Not Learned, The U.S. Navy’s Status Quo Culture. That book really details why the U.S. Navy became a paper tiger. Some of it is dated and some of the lessons not learned have been corrected.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the Shkval. Most supercaviting torps run in relatively straight lines. The terminal control is very fine control. Turning significantly underwater, even in a cavitation shell at 200mph would tear them apart. They are more of a reactionary weapon, rather than a carrier killer. Of course if our USW forces continue to do ASW like playing little kid’s soccer, then you might be right.

AndyFMF

My math is rough, but assumptions:
Distance of torpedo from target-10,000m
Speed of target-40knots or 1235 m/min
Speed of torpedo-200knots or 6173 m/min

Time from launch to intercept is 1.61 minutes, therefore Target can move a maximum of 2000m before intercept…..IF it is already going 40 knots.

The “c” side of my triangle was only 198 meters longer than the “a” side.

You’re an OSC, so I will definitely defer. Glad to hear your wisdom.

OSC(SW) Retired

Your intercept does not take into account acceleration. The shkval starts out much like a conventional torpedo, launched out the tube and spins up to about 50 knots. So acceleration from 0 to 50 knots underwater will take a minute before the rocket booster engages.
Regardless, like I said, they travel in relatively straight lines. In your scenario, the submarine would need to take a lead on the ship so that the torpedo would intercept it. That makes it simple to avoid. Just stop, or turn toward the hydrophone effect and watch it fly by.
I know it says they have guidance, but that is a bit of a stretch. Supercavitating torpedoes have control surfaces, but cannot make large course changes due to the way the cavity reacts to them. The Shkval can change the shape of the cavity but only up to a limit and even then an aggressive turn will cause tail slap that will eventually collapse the cavity and drop the torp back down to 50 knots or less. And since water exerts about 1000 times the drag on the torp, a sudden cavity loss in an aggressive maneuver would probably damage the torpedo fatally.
In the literature that I have seen regarding the maneuvering of these things, at 85 m/s the advance and transfer wile executing even a shallow turn is considerable. So a valid avoidance maneuver would be to just steam at the hydrophone effects for 30 seconds (assuming you know the range) and then turn away 30 degrees for 30 seconds and then circle in the direction away from the noise in the water. Since the ship can turn in a tighter circle, the torp can never reach it.

AndyFMF

Thanks for taking the time to explain instead of saying, “just trust me.”

Silentium Est Aureum

Those Iranian targets have to get out of port first. Think a few SSNs could handle it?

Martinjmpr

I think you’re all misinterpreting who the “Target audience” for these videos is. It’s not us. They know we can clean their clock. And they know that we know they know it (sounding a little Rumsfeld-ian here, I know. 😉 )

The target audience is not the Western world, it is their own people and others in the Islamic world who want to believe that their “David” will defeat our tired “Goliath.” Having this propaganda out there makes people in those countries more likely to back Iran and less likely to oppose it.

The fact that it’s stupidly unrealistic is beside the point. People will believe what they want to believe even if there’s only the flimsiest thread of evidence to support it (see also: “Bigfoot”, “UFOs”, “9/11 Truthers” etc.)

JimW

You mean to say that was not a rerun of McHales Navy the Iranians showed on you tube, could have fooled me. Those navy tactics they used are a absolute joke. And I’m not a navy guy. Look more like rows of targets for a trap shoot. The only thing missing was the pink paint?

Guard Bum

Interesting, I didnt know the flight decks on our CVNs were made of the same stuff I sided my pole barn with.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

The problem with McHaji’s Navy is incompetence, the addition of nukes to that level of incompetence doesn’t proportionally increase complexity, it logarithmically increases the stupidity and dangerously complex maneuvers.

These assclowns with nukes, not a good outcome.

MustangCryppie

I had some experience with the Iranian Navy in the North Arabian Sea. Let’s just say they had a very healthy respect for the USN.

The day the Ayatollah Assahollahs tell their Admirals to engage us, we will detect a rather strong smell of shit coming from the area of their drawers.

Roger in Republic

In the 80’s we built a series of missile carrying Korvetts for the Saudi navy. They were high speed, heavily armed, and highly maneuverable. I asked why we were not building clandestine scuttling charges into them as they were a very nasty little ships and we might find ourselves having to fight them one day. And then I met the Saudi Navy. The captain was a full commander with NO sea time. The rest of the crew were all Chiefs also without underway experience. On sea trials the weather picked up and we had green water on the 03 level. The Saudis all left their stations and went to the mess deck where they huddled on the floor waiting to die.

We sailed the first ship to Virginia and turned it over to the RSN for shakedown and training. They anchored it in the middle of the Chesapeake bay shipping Chanel and it was rammed by a bulk carrier. The bow of the other ship hit her amidships and knocked the starboard main engine off its mounts and bent the prop shaft. Once they got the boat home the crew all unassed and went home. The navy wanted to show off their newest toy to the royal family. They rounded up a scratch crew, fired up the LM-2500 gas turbine and pulled the power levers to Full Astern. They had, however, forgotten to cast off the main mooring lines. Before the lines parted a couple of the mooring bollards were ripped from the deck. I was told that for most of their service lives those four PCG’s remained tied to their docks. I can’t imagine that the Iranian navy is much better than their Saudi counterpoints.

Big Steve

It’s my belief that people in this part of the world are pretty useless as soldiers, sailors, police, or anything requiring discipline and bravery.

Seadog

Way back in the day, early ’80s, I went through Electronics Tech School with 4 of Saudi’s finest. Bell curve doesn’t even begin to describe it.

I will say they partied like there was no allah… In Biloxi MS.

Irishfaen

612 through 618. Also there were the PGG’s from Peterson Builders. I used to work on them “over there”. They were beautiful little boats, and probably more capable than the LCS series.