Bradley Pfender; deserter apprehended at middle school
Mordechai sends us a link from Albuquerque which tells us the story of Bradley Pfender, a military deserter who was apprehended at the Kennedy Middle School where he was taking laps on their track while about 200 students happened to be. School staff tried to tell him that he wasn’t allowed to use school facilities during school hours, but, of course, Brad was a dick;
Pfender pointed to his headphones and kept jogging, Parsons said. Educational assistant Linda Kane-Parsons told police she also approached him, and he said, “(expletive) you, I’m finishing my run.”
Parsons put out his hands to try to stop him, and Pfender said, “If you (expletive) get in the way of my run I’m going to embarrass you in front of all these kids,” according to the police report.
Pfender shoved Parsons to the ground “with great force” before running toward the school’s basketball court, injuring Parsons’ chest, back, neck and legs. Pfender charged the principal, pointing his finger.
“I went low and took him down in the middle of our students,” principal Edward Bortot wrote in his statement to police. He was injured on his left hand and right knee. A third teacher, special education teacher Catherine Jaramillo, said a group of teachers were holding him down but Pfender told them he couldn’t breathe. When they tried to move him he allegedly hit her over her left eye.
Yeah, well, now the junior rocket scientist is facing battery charges in addition to answering the desertion warrant. I’m pretty sure they’d have more charges on him if he’d been allowed to hang out around middle school children, though. That rat on his face says “tickle monster”.
Category: Shitbags
may as well add assault for the threat.. isn’t it assault when you threaten to hit someone and battery when you clock them?
Bingo.
Well, any “harmful or offensive touching” is a battery, even if it’s very light.
1.5 volt?
9v on the tongue, repeatedly.
*FEEEHHHH!* Why not use a 69V fence battery? Y’all are TOO NICE to ass-sniffers like Pfender! That, or use 3 to 5 car batteries linked in series!!
Pffft. Just plug in a frayed electrical cord and attach it to his balls…assuming he has any.
And old-style field phone (TA-312) generates 90V AC when it’s cranked.
That can get very uncomfortable if/when you manage to touch an uninsulated part of the wire while someone’s cranking the phone.
Or just tape the wires to him and let those he assaulted just CRANK AWAY!!!
Bubba & Thor are gonna have fun with his ass, that’s for sure, and it serves him right!! I wonder if the Military will even remotely give a fuck about dealing with him until he’s done serving whatever time he gets for his dumbshit antics?
Looks like he’s a Pfender Pfuffer. Like Psul.
Pfender, the pfysical pfitness pfool pfucked upf.
Pfuque him. Hope he likes jail.
Hope he takes numerous phace phuqueings phrom his prison phriends.
Damn, you made me giggle a bit MGuns… He does look like a ball gargling type of phedo doesn’t he?
Maybe this guy could get the same outcome as Slovik, nobody will miss him much I’m certain.
Please, please tell me this waste of human dna was not able to spawn.
I think that could be arranged.
Another great candidate for the Human Mine Detector Platoon.
And yet another:
Splash. Out.
Not to be confused with Pflash.
Pflash will be a “splash” with Bubba & Thor!!
I’m sure he’ll GET plenty of “splashes from them as well before he’s pimped out to the rest of his cell block!! 😈
Yep. He’ll be in high demand. Sorry, I meant “she”. 😀
“I can’t breathe.” Bullshiite. What a loser deluxe in so many ways.
AND then after he wiggled under the dogpile, he balled up and hit a WOMAN. MEGA PUSSY.
Here’s hoping the interrogators disconnect the cameras in the room and give him a PhD.
Little bit of that wall to wall before his court hearing?
Water board him, at 30 fathoms.
Inside or outside the boat’s hull?
“…but Pfender told them he couldn’t breathe. When they tried to move him he allegedly hit her over her left eye.”
Where have I heard that before?
““I went low and took him down in the middle of our students,” principal Edward Bortot wrote in his statement to police.”
BZ, sir! Well done!
We need a more Heinlein-esque treatment for desertion.
Public flogging and DD sounds right to me.
For AWOL (intentional and w/ voluntary return), public flogging and a second chance. Second offense, see desertion.
I swear, what is it with all of these nutbags lately? It’s like someones section chief failed to check to see if they had leveled their bubbles before they pulled that lanyard and just giggled as all those rounds missed the impact area…..
Judging by some prior TAH comments, if Pfender had tried that at a Catholic school, the nuns would have probably beaten him to death with rulers.
Shitbag.