West Regional/South Regional Blue Falcon Stolen Valor Tournament
WEST REGIONAL
Seed 1 v. 8:
1) Nate Fornwalt, Lemonade Stand Stealing Phony, Embellisher
CLAIM: Wounded veteran with numerous purple hearts, Marine Special Ops.
TRUTH: Iraq vet with no purple hearts, no Special Ops.
8) Julee Johns, Funeral Phony, Embellisher
CLAIM: Medically discharged Marine Drill Instructor, master sergeant, OEF/OIF
TRUTH: 16 days in boot camp. Almost the same thing, right?
Seed 5 v. 4
5) Thomas DeCare, Beer Swilling ISIS Killer, Valor Thief
CLAIM: I can’t even make out all the shit on his uniform, except the badge above his name tag which seems to indicate he was bombed with fecal matter from a Pterodactyl.
TRUTH: NPRC says “who?”
4) Charles Chavous, Dude, I lost my hair, Embellisher
CLAIM: Vietnam POW, Tunnel-rat, two Bronze Stars and the Navy Cross
TRUTH: 0311 with 1 year in Vietnam, none of those awards, convicted of Murder
Seed 2 v. 7
2) Derek Church, The Real Unslim Shady, Embellisher
CLAIM: SSG, Ranger, 82nd, Infantry, Straight.
TRUTH: PFC, 18 months as a nasty girl then a quick exit.
7) Mike Fortner, In the time of Dinosaurs, I was a SEAL, Valor Thief
CLAIM: SEAL Team 1, 2 and 6 leader. 9 years, 9 months 26 days and 17 hours in the SEALs.
TRUTH: Old guy rocking a 50 year lie.
11 Seed v. 3
11) Casey Shook, Tickle Monster Pederast, Embellisher
CLAIM: former Army Ranger and special forces member
TRUTH: He was a parachuting chemical specialist in the 21st Chemical Company at Fort Bragg and an NBC specialist in an Air Defense Battery at Fort Lewis Washington.
3) Cornelius Davis, Smadge says what?, (Unknown until FOIA)
CLAIM: Sergeant Major, Bronze Star, Silver Star.
TRUTH: Army says “Nevah heard of you”.
SOUTH REGIONAL
1 Seed v. 9
1) Frank Visconi, The Blowfish, Embellisher
CLAIM: Bronze Star w/V, 2 Purple Hearts, Combat Action Ribbon, and the Presidential Unit Commendation
TRUTH: It took no less an authority than the 6th US Circuit Court and the US Marine Corps to finally prove he made that up.
9) Michael Schrenk, Sword swinger, Embellisher
CLAIM: Marine SSG with a ton of shit I don’t recognize. And a sword.
TRUTH: Honorable service in the Navy.
5 Seed v. 4
5) Peter Lawler, From Beirut to Black Friday, Embellisher
CLAIM: Beirut veteran, combat wounded Marine, Purple Heart, PTSD
TRUTH: Got an OTH as an E1, subsequently upgraded to Under Honorable Conditions. Also, a registered sex offender.
4) Jim Van Fleet, Dude got Nois’d, Embellisher
CLAIM: US Navy SEAL
TRUTH: Coast Guard Auxiliary
2 Seed v. 7
2) Gregory Banks, Masonic Massacre if ought 14, Valor Thief
CLAIM: SF, multiple week long hunt and kill missions overseas between visits to Masonic lodges, Bronze Star.
TRUTH: No service located.
7) Reginald Hinson, SEAL Creed Principal, Unknown
CLAIM: US Navy SEAL
TRUTH: Nope. (Top Secret defense.)
11 Seed v. 3
11) Kirjath Toney, Tony, Oscar, Golden Globes, he’s got ‘em all, Embellisher
CLAIM: Purple Heart, CIB, a Silver Star and a Bronze Star
TRUTH: Well, he has a National Defense Service Medal, that’s the same thing isn’t it?
3) Richard Rahn, Minnesota Madman, Valor Thief
CLAIM: dude has 1 of everything I think. Ranger, CIB, and enough years deployed to account for the entire War on Terrah.
TRUTH: Not a CSM, but he is a felon.
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So many douchetools, so little time.
More like “So few documents, so much time”.
The mere mention of the word “douchetool” sends Bernath into a fit of apoplexy, which always makes me smile.
Don’t worry, Bernath–you’ll cruise into the Shitty Sixteen tomorrow with the other douchetools, then the Excremental Eight, then the Fecal Four.
He is a true winner!
Got to put in a plug here for Toney and Fortner. Each of those ancient turds needs a little more recognition before they fossilize completely (into six-foot segments of coprolite).
Yeah, the whole BS about Fortner diving a submarine with a core that had melted out the bottom was what helped me vote for that blithering idiot.
Fortner is a serious contender. Anyone who says grenades have fiberglass in them and that Russia shares a border with Nepal has a massive advantage due to sheer shock value.
It was a shame Julee Johns was up against a one seed that stole from a gold star kid, otherwise she would have had my vote. She can play softball on my team any day.
I was thinking the exact same thing… well, other than the softball team. 🙂
I can’t vote against someone who stole from a kid – especially a kid who lost a parent. I seriously want to curb stomp that shitbag until only a moist spot remains.
He needs the kind of wall-to-wall counseling that would come from a platoon of pissed-off Outlaw Bikers!
That was the toughest one for me. Especially when (Never really was an) honorable CPO was bashing us in the comments of the follow up news story on her. Apparently, my satirical piece on how to be a successful poser made me a Domestic Terrorist.
Nooooooo Not having to choose between Frank and Shrenk!!!!! Frank won my vote under protest.
My man Banks … I wonder if he is getting stress releiving foot rubs from his 18 year old male boy toy Marine Corps lawyer who attempted to extort money out of me … While I recorded the whole conversation!
Corn Dog Davis looks like … P Diddy (Sean Combs) who after a really bad jump, with failed chute deployment, landed in pile of medals!
And Church … he is so fat, the blubber under his chin should be awarded the “Order of the Fat Fucht” for longevity and devotion to obesity!
DeCare … what can I say? Oh, I can say this … You are a dickhead extraordinnaire’. Bad choice of bars considering the area is laced with active duty, reverse forces and veterans alike!
Church has vagina chin. I giggle every time I see it!
One Word:
Vigisil
I am curious if Banks is still seeing patients.
If he is, watch out!
Oh … They are watching.
We turned on the Press Machine so hard on this POS, the local Dunkin’ Donuts where he got his latte latte with latte whateve had a photo of him at the cash register …
He got TV, print and internet all at the same time.
Danbury is a small city.
I can’t wait till’ …
Nah …
POS ….
Pederasts, murderers, sex offenders, gasbags – they’re all cut from the same cloth, you know.
Would that cloth be All-Points Logistics material?
They need more anger and more drunken emails I believe so they can qualify for that cloth …
Another Fun Day in remembrance of all the Ass Hats out there !! 2 of my Favorites, Church and Banks.
Of course Church is my Favorite as I put a lot of work in on him and got all of his records from the NC National Guard ..
Church is and will always be my favorite. I may do a drive by on my way to South Carolina this summer just for the passing salute.
Phoney Toney is positioned for the upset.
There’s just something Odd about Toney.
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=47254
Phoney Toney showing up at a military funeral with all that fakery, then doubling and tripling down with his oddball friends (some in their official GS positions). I second the upset over the creepy fake CSM. There’s a special circle in hell for the funeral fakes, although stealing from kids due to fakery makes the Fornwalt/Johns matchup a barnburner!
Again, the Mickey Mouse gloves at Arlington, along with the undeserved awards…that takes some serious “huevos” to pull off.
Or ultra stupid, I guess he imagined that if he put enough stuff nobody would really call him on it in a moment like that …
Yeah.
Probably plays up his age and cannot hear you properly and all that other stuff.
Church is so damn stupid he has got to be my number one choice…
Any of the damn pederasts also get my vote, thanks to some unnamed individuals…
I really look forward to this tourney !!!
Tons of fun !!!
At first glance it might seem that there is some pretty stiff competition here, but with match ups like Lawler and Van Fleet or Visconi and Schrenk I think this division is a little weak. Lawler wins with his sex offender status in my book and Visconi, he rocked the lie all the way through court! Gotta give him props for that!
Also, Rahn just wins on the douchebag factor for me. I mean, if being a douche was gravity this guy would have the pull of Jupiter
Church, Banks, Rahn, man, the late round of this bracket will be a bloodbath.
One factor I take into consideration is the criminality of each individual. Take #4 vs #5 for instance. #5 is just a harmless goof ball. #4 is a convicted murderer. It only took me 1/2 second to cast that vote.
#4 vs #5 from the West Regional
Yeah, but he’s in lockup. he already won. Give it to the other guy, like a loser consolation prize. With this group, much like special olympics, everyone should feel like a winner!
I’m not even sure if the guy is locked up at all. Here’s an article from Stars and Stripes, published 7/1/2014. http://www.stripes.com/former-marine-uses-bogus-as-hell-service-record-walks-away-free-man-1.291449
Jesus. That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever read. 5 years probation for murder. There’s no updates, so I’m assuming the guy is still a free man. Get this, he’s also getting 100% service connected disability from the VA. It’s unreal.
I don’t know how these doucetools do it. I have a hard enough time getting my National Defense Service Medal and GWOT Service Medal on correctly and these douchetools are hanging everything from clothing sales on their uniforms
Bruce Jenner’s double and Michele Obama’s nightmare were slam dunks for me. Cornelius was fairly easy, too. After all, he did evidence his imagined combat experience by revealing a scar. What further proof could anyone want? Dirt’s older brother got a nod, too, as did the selfie abuser and the guy who I fear may be overlooked by some but who is as deserving as they come: G. Banks.
The only one I had a hard time figuring out was between the dumb old Toney and the dumb fake Khan bullshitter named Rahn. Too bad I could not advance both dumbshits.
About the only hard choice I had was Davis or Shook. In the end I gave the vote for Davis mai ly because of the nice YouTube video from the Marines. The asking for his CAC was priceless. It was just that well done. So not voting for him as much voting for the guys who did the video.
Right there with you!
I will start by saying that I love this tournament. Bracketing lower life forms than the lowest Shitbird I have ever served with should be cathartic, and it should be fun to crown the lowliest of the low. Unfortunately, this tournament depresses me. I fucking hate the fact that these low lifes exist. In my book they are all the highest of the high when it comes to blue falconry. I apologize for my belly aching. All of them suck.
Is Fortner the oldest contender to date?
Fortner is 73, Phoney Toney the oddball is 79
Lt. Gen. ( Lt. Gen. ? REALLY? ) Kirjath “K.D.” D. Toney, 79, was born Sept. 9, 1933, in New Stithton in Meade County. He was the eldest son of six children
I believe that DOB makes him 81.27397+ years old today, propsguy. (smile)
I didnt vote for Davis because I read somewhere (dont remember if it was on here) that he is mentally disabled.
I do want to put my two plugs in for Church and particularly Van Fleet…seriously, Coast Guard Axillary (which isnt even military or quasi military) to Navy Seal? Watch the video of that poofter…just take your blood pressure medicine first!
Frank Visconi pursued three claims against the government attempting to have his records changed to include 2 PH, Bronze Star w/V, Presidential Unit Commendation, and the Combat Action Ribbon.
He lost all cases against the government and his last case which he appealed to the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals the court said his phony(self created) documents did more to hurt his case than help it.
He has exhausted all legal means to change his record and therefore has proven to all that he is a Blowfish, Liar, Poser, and Valor Thief.
He definately deserves your vote for Blue Falcon Stolen Valor award!
Good point.
He is a major shitbag.