Nuclear Deterrence Service Operations Medal
I see that the Air Force is back to making itself a laughing stock and a caricature of itself again with this new medal, the Nuclear Deterrence Service Operations Medal. From the Stars & Stripes;
The new award, first announced in May, was created after an internal review determined that many airmen involved in the nuclear enterprise felt ignored and underappreciated in the post-Cold War era in which nuclear combat is considered a remote possibility. The review was prompted by a scandal in which nearly a hundred officers were implicated in a cheating ring surrounding nuclear launch tests.
I guess all of the beret colors were already taken. So, if you think that your career field isn’t getting the recognition it deserves in the Air Force, you just need to screw up bad enough that the story gets in the New York Times and Big Air Force will create a new medal for you.
By the way, eligibility has been made retroactive to 1991, so if you were in one of the affected career fields and still feel unappreciated after more than 20 years, viola!
Category: Air Force
What about the “US Navy Bolier Technician Skinned Knuckles and Multiple Third Degreee Burns on Forearms Medal”?
Just askin’!
How about one for perfect attendance at morning formation.
Or 5 days continuous sobriety.
Word
You say that like it’s a good thing!
Does being in the field count?
I think you can get a coin for that GT, or a keychain, can’t remember too drunk right now.
I got that medal once…..ONCE….
I think it went something like this:
General A: Your guys couldn’t find their asses with a handful of fish hooks. We caught close to 100 of them cheating on readiness tests. How the hell are you going to fix this?
General B: This is a really bad situation. My staff and I have been burning the midnight oil on this problem and I think we have a solution. We’ll give them all medals.
General A: My god man, that’s the kind of go get em spirit we need. I see bright things in your future.
Ugh…
This is just embarrassing.
The first recipient of the medal, Captain John Yossarian, was unavailable for comment.
Major Major Major did not want one as well…
Let us not forget interrupting serious & heavy drinking by having to go back to the ship to light fires & get underway. It was tough being the ones with the keys to the boat.
This was meant as a reply to MCPO’s post, but my hi tech skills need work.
Don’t worry, nobody ever started up a boat reactor plant hung over.
Allegedly.
And seriously, a medal for doing your job. What’s next for the Chair Force, a medal for finishing six excruciating weeks of boot camp? Oh wait, they have that already.
“Don’t worry, nobody ever started up a boat reactor plant hung over.”
I wouldn’t know anything about that.
And I swear I never saw the ERUL watch installing the CRDM fuses.
Operative word being SAW.
It’s only a ribbon, not a medal. 🙂
Not anymore, you wouldn’t pass that breathalyzer test on the quarterdeck.
I’ll never say which CO I saw crossing the brow in PI stop, bend over, heave his guts out, then board. We lifted the brow 10 minutes later and underway within 30.
True story.
That’s Fast Attack Tough
Now THAT’S…the Navy, I never served in but heard all about!
Or the clinking of bottles you could hear in the goatlocker during angles and dangles. 🙂
Nice.
10 day port call in Sydney Australia.
MARDET CO thought it would be a good idea to do a detachment run to the Opera House the morning we were leaving. Good thing the ship was docked downhill from King’s Cross or 90% of the detachment would’ve never made it back. The hardest part of the run was being in the back of the formation and inhaling the 90 proof fumes. And dodging the spatter from 50 Marines projectile vomitting 😮
Never launched a bird off the pointy end hung over either… nope, not once. Twice maybe, but not once.
We’uns in the US Army and the USMC should get Nuclear Provokesman medals!
The USN personnel should, at the end of a float that they survive should get a I Didn’t Fall Overboard or Let My Ship Sink! medal.
We got one, it’s called a sea service ribbon
No no no. It’s gotta be a medal! A big round shiny medal!
Screw that.
I have my dolphins, that was the only thing on my uniform that ever mattered to me.
^^^^ that.
Ditto
True Dat^^^^^
I have my aircrewman wings. Nothing matters more than those.
Well, to be fair, we do have the SSBN patrol pin, but I just don’t see AF weenies doing 70-75 days without cable and the EM Club.
Don’t forget Facebook
Or a golf course.
We didn’t have either at Paramaribou or Khamis-Mushayt or Shemya; well we did have a club at Shemya. Oh, we did have a club at Kim Hae (or Gim Hae, if you prefer) but no TV.
In the Army and out in the field when it’s raining, the average grunt will say “This sucks” as he drives on. A Ranger will be in pouring rain saying “I like the way this sucks!”, and SF Types are rumored to say “I WISH it sucked worse than this” while an average everyday AF type will be sitting in the day room during the same storm screaming “WHAT? THE TV CABLE WENT DEAD, THIS SUCKS!!!”
POOR little Sparkle Ponies!
UNDERWATER? Ygtbsm !!
The angle and dangle remark got me. This award is he the surface pukes mad cause we had dolphins, so they cried to get a surface warfare pin, just like ours. lol
At first when I read the headline, I thought this was a duffelblog post. 🙁
What was the hull number of your Space Shuttle? I claim door gunner on the intergalactic class OU812 shuttle. BTW My implants are doing just fine thank you.
7734NI, Imperial Class.
How about a gay-before-it-was-okay medal, with a shocking-pink ribbon, to recognize those military personnel who had to keep their gayhood to themselves before the repeal of DADT?
No-no. The pink ribbon is for the “I Marched Against Breast Cancer Medal”. You want a rainbow ribbon for that.
Well, I thought of that but there is the storied Rainbow Division and I didn’t want to insult. As for the pink, I tried to sidestep its use elsewhere by making it shocking pink.
What should the aperture be for subsequent awards?
Glad you asked. A smoking pipe for males and a triangle for females.
Outstanding. I was thinking a gender-neutral shiny penis at attention. Maybe with an attached harness for females? But someone below already suggested that for the AF medal.
I was thinking scissors for the females.
Thank you, some of us who did finish up in the reserves/NG were part of the 42nd up here in New England and/or the 102nd (YD).
We may not have been the toughest outfit, but we weren’t the gayest either….the division did serve with distinction in both world wars as well as I recall from the unit histories.
I should the 102nd infantry was part of the 26th division aka Yankee Division for reservists/NG.
The Army Service Ribbon is rainbow. How embarrassing for us. It’s like we knew.
Sorry, the Army already has that ribbon!
“Army Service Ribbon”
Have a look:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Army_Service_Ribbon
The Army Service Ribbon is awarded to members of the Army, Army Reserve, and Army National Guard for successful completion of initial-entry training, which for officers is considered to be successful completion of their basic/orientation or higher level course.
I didn’t wear any ribbon that didn’t have a medal attachment to it. I figured if I’m in the Army, and I’m out of Basic or OCS or whatever … then my presence was enough to show that I completed courses.
Crud! Too much bling on the Army uniform nowadays — it’s embarassing to this old man! The Marines … now they look military! Damn fine looking uniform that is (usually) free of all this sparkle-pony crap: NCO Professional Development Ribbon, Overseas Service Ribbon, “Gay Before It Was OKAY” rainbow ribbon.
Gee … I sound like a curmudgeon don’t I?
2/17 Air Cav…”gay-before-it-was-okay medal”! Now THAT made me LMAO. You da man today Air Cav!
Yea, we had one of “those” in my Squadron. He wore his chukka boots every chance he got when NO ONE else did or could stand them. I wore mine ONLY once. It was mandatory and never, ever again. They made me feel, how shall I say it, light in the loafers.
I dunno, maybe some guys liked their chukka boots. To each their own I say but I thought they were as gay a footwear as the military could have come up with short of 2 inch heel pumps with my class A’s.
the dreaded boondockers.. i launched mine over the side they day I got to the fleet and got proper flight deck boots.
Ah the good old underway uniform: poppy suits and tennis shoes.
Do they still have that medal for surfing?
Of course, they even have the award for typing too…
Where’s the love for the military supply services? I want an award for not frakking up the paperwork when ordering Joe a new [insert any item here] because he broke the last one he had AND the replacement one I gave him until the new budget period!
Flagwaver…Now you’re talking some REAL awards! I mean in the days of old Underwood typewriters, 3 or 4 copies at least with carbon sheets, all different colors, no mistakes allowed to be erased and “colored out”. It was mind and finger numbing, hell I tell ya. Just to type up the supply order for our shop. The big recurring monthly order too, not some simple, one time, one item bullshit! I think it should be a white, yellow, green and blue ribbon with a bronze medal shaped like an old Underwood with a brush on one end, eraser on the other, 2nd, etc. award device.
Yep,Sparks, in the old days,we supply NCO’s/motor pool parts clerks lived by the old creed of “Press hard to ensure legibility on all eight copies”. But you know that. Carbon paper was gold when it came to trading material,just like coffee grounds and thermos bottles.
I saw this a few weeks ago on the Cold War Vets page. We were sort of wondering how they could seem to find the money to make these little trinkets, but they still can’t seem to find it in their stingy hearts to produce a Cold War Service Medal.
They can okay this little medal, but they can still hack away at Veteran’s care, and pensions, and military pay, and whatever else. All so the Air Force can tack one more piece of colorful decoration on their post office uniforms.
Screw it. I just bought my own.
http://www.amazon.com/Cold-War-Commemorative-Medal-Set/dp/B004UMS3XK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413408057&sr=8-1&keywords=cold+war+medal
Oh, I just noticed your crack about their post office unis.
I worked at TSA Hqs and one of the big muckety mucks was retired USAF. He used to love coming in to the watch where I worked and dump shit on the USN…that is, until the day I replied with, “Yup…the Air Force…military arm of the post office.” EVERYBODY (except for him) guffawed over that one. Him? He was PISSED! But he never said shit about the Navy again.
Don’t need money. They’re going to use the C27s that they scrapped in Afghanistan
The unis were worse when McPeak wanted them to look like a cross between the RAF and the Coast Guard Auxiliary. I had a friend in the AF Reserve when that uniform came out and he immediately put in for retirement. He said, and I quote: “If I wanted to look like I worked for Delta Air Lines, I’d go fly for Delta Air Lines.”
Everyone gets a trophy. How freaking special.
So, when my kids act up or gets in trouble in school, instead of whooping their butts, it’s ice cream time.
Same thought process….
And another thought – “Nuclear Deterence”. I assume that since the button pushers weren’t up to standard and thus unable maintain or launch their missiles and lay waste to our enemies, this is the “deterence” that’s being referred to?
Well, let’s follow this through. No one pushed a button or turned a key or two. No one dropped a live payload, at least not intentionally. So, the medal is for NOT doing something, isn’t it? Well, hell, you see where I’m going with this. The line forms to the right.
I haven’t shot anyone in anger in at least 12 months. I’ve had to deal with a chain of command waging the “Admin War” of the “rear echelon”
Where’s my medal, with subsequent awards adding another bullet accoutrement each 12 months.
Glad to see that “Service before self” thing sank in.
AAaaaawww, no Sparkle Pony Rainbow Warrior self-esteem campaign award for the little desk-warming cream-puffs? For some reason or another, that just DOESN’T even phase me!
No, they just want every AF boot E-1 to look like a Nork general.
What’s next, will they propose an “Exceptional Latrine Sanitation Medal” to be awarded at AF Basic Graduation in order to fluff up the little Sparkle Ponies’ self-esteem?
A Proud Infidel®™…I’m waiting for their, “Top Ranked Basic Training Latrine Queen” medal.
This is the cleanest latrine I have ever saw! “Sergeant, I rubbed them spigots till they don’t say hot nor cold no more.”
Yep,if anybody deserved a medal like that it was Will Stockdale.
Ben got a medal.
But Ben never got to be Permanent Latrine Orderly (PLO)like Will did. Gol-Lee,what an honor.
Seriously now, who was the better Sergeant? MSgt King or TSgt Toomey from Biloxi Blues?
I’ll take Merwin J.Toomey over Orville King any day just for first names. Merwin got to do 200 pushups,Orville got to lift his coffee cup in the mess hall.
Since SFC Snorkel’s first name is Orville, I call a draw.
BWAHAHAHAHA! Love it!
I don’t know why, but I always laughed at the USAF overseas service ribbons. They had “Short Tour” and “Long Tour” versions. Guess that in my twisted mind it reminded me of the PI. Ha!
Now that you mentioned the PI, I compare that latest proposed medal is like giving every Serviceman who has done a certain amount of time in the PI a medal for not going to Sick Call for VD, and I say ditto for Soldiers doing the same for a year in Korea!
The “Short Arm Cleanliness Expert Medal”
Acronym: The SACEM,available to all male service members regardless of current station/billet. Remember,flies spread disease.Keep yours closed.
CLAW131…”Remember,flies spread disease. Keep yours closed.” Wow, the shit I forgot! Thanks for that one. LMAO, 40 some years later.
So,a “Hurt Feelings” medal with an N(Nauseating)Device.Just what is needed to show those nasty terrorists we mean business.
I guess the pocket rocket wasn’t enough.
I served in a SAC Titan II Missile Wing DURING THE COLD WAR in the 70’s. All we got upon leaving…was a small room in Wing Headquarters, two creepy OSI guys and these really cool forms to sign that said, “you saw nothing, you heard nothing, you know nothing and you probably weren’t even here. You ever talk about ANY stuff you don’t know anything about and…it’s Big Jail Time and a Big Chicken Dinner! YOU GOT THAT SERGEANT! Now then, please sign here, here, here, here and then don’t forget…here. Thank you for your service.” A bit of hyperbole but you get the picture.
A medal? Please, stop embarrassing yourselves Air Force.
I am thinking maybe put a rubber phallus in the place of a nuclear missle splitting those wings.
Green Thumb…ROGER THAT SIR! Or maybe SAC could change the big Steel Hand from holding an olive branch and lightening bolts to just two little hands, gently holding each others… balls! That is, if SAC were still around.
A pool on how long before we see a poser sporting one?
I give Steve Cushman a day or two.
Where’s my Goddamned Roadguard Victory medal with Silver Oak leaf cluster?
In the P-3 community, Lockheed used to pass out pins for flight hours flown. 1000 hour, 2000 hour, etc.
Anyway, I had one guy who worked for me who was self-confident to an extreme degree. And this was before he had even one flight hour!
So, I decided to pull his leg a bit and had an embroidery shop in Okinawa make up a “100 hour” patch for him. When he met that milestone, I presented it to him at a crew dinner. He was a bit crushed at first, but he thought about it and at the end he loved it.
Then there was the EP-3. We spooks were not thought of as “real” aircrew (which I think is BULLSHIT), so the only post-flight they “allowed” us to do was take out the pisser. One guy who flew with us spooky types ALWAYS took out the pisser. For what reason, I have no idea. When he left the squadron, he was presented with a “1000 Gallon” patch. Ha!
Sean…Been there, done that. “ROAD GUARDS…OUT!” “ROAD GUARDS…IN!”
Anybody remember Rear Admiral Roberta “road guard” Hazard?
Speedbumps, POST!
I heard a few Orlando stories about her.
God help us if any of them were actually true.
YGBSM.
Correction.
YGBFSM.
Well,I guess the Air Force doesn’t have to worry anymore about coming up with that “I never got a medal” medal. That one’s been in the works since 1947.
I like that, never-got-a-medal medal. Of course, as soon as one is awarded, it has to be rescinded. My head is about to explode. Thanks.
They live in “dorms”.
I long time ago, when I lived in an Air Force “dorm”, I asked why is it called a dorm? The answer I got was, people weren’t joining because they didn’t want to live in barracks and eat in mess halls. The story went the Nixon administration gathered librarians, grammarians, English majors, etc, to come up with better sounding words. The Air Force took it seriously and changed. True or not, it is believable. I also remember the Navy had to change the name of the dining deck (or whatever it was called) back to the mess deck.
I did feel sorry for my Squadron Commander the day he had to announce the Air Force Training Ribbon. He was standing tall, looking sharp, while everyone in the squadron laughed so hard it embarrassed him.
“Cheesesayers against the TAH Csdre” created medals for Dennis Howard Chevalier.
While I was at Advance Leader Course, they were talking about the Expert PSYOP Badge, and possibly other PSYOP related uniform items. The PSYOP regimental kilt wasn’t enough. 😯
When Clinton was in office, the Army talked about awarding a “Give A Shit” medal to Soldiers. Problem was, nobody did.
Roger that.
How about an award for most lost nukes?
But all those missle jockys get to wear flight suits!
Andy11M…And mine were pretty comfy and easy to maintain. Nobody inspected you in your flight suit.
Wow I trained as a bayonet fighter for a number of days and was prepared to fight other bayonet fighters or charge into nuclear weapons sites of the bad guys. Can I have one too.? Neither did I receive my award as an intergalactic space shuttle door gunner and am thereby scarred for life.
By the way, forget about the intergalactic space shuttle door gunner mention.. that was classified. I still want my medal though.
You already have it. Sure, it looks like there’s nothing there but secret assignments are acknowledged with secret medals: no paper, no ribbon, no ceremony, no medal, and no record. It’s the price one pays for taking such assignments. The nation is grateful.
Damn. I was Army Guard and then AF Reserve. Damn. Nothing else to say
Buck up, 3E9. I hear that the next great idea is a Multi-Service Medal. I know an atc who was all branches except Coast Guard so I guess he’ll get something extra.
Now that I’ve gotten the WTF out of my system, I guess in all fairness, at least the AF is trying do something to boost morale. A fancy new medal and $300 extra a month for the nuke groundhogs. Better than having a certain senior enlisted person saying that his troops would be better off with lower pay…
nbcguy54…What the hell! I was in a SAC Titan II Wing on the 70’s. When the hell did they start getting 300 extra bones a month for “low and below” duty? That’s it! I filing a retroactive complaint and request for back pay. Damn!
I want to know where my MASSIVE RED ARMY TANK HORDE THROUGH THE FULDA GAP DETERRENCE MEDAL is at.
A group of people are trying to get the Cold War Service medal pushed through… the idea is to cover the time period from the Berlin Airlift to the disintegration of the Soviet Union.
Yep. And they’ve been trying to do that for roughly 20 years. I can remember efforts to get Congress to authorize that in the mid-1990s.
Don’t hold your breath.
Yup, I’ve been reading about this attempt on and off for years. They’ve been using similar tactics/techniques to try to get that through.
On one Cold War website, it was like a roller coaster with up and down stages. Each year was a cycle that began with an amendment or bill introduced, and ended when that amendment was removed and the bill was kicked down the road… and the guys expressed disappointment.
There’s gotta be a Chair Force medal for arduous duty performed during times of “the waiter didn’t serve me my second glass of tea in the messhall”, or “Public Works didn’t clean my dorm room correctly/pick up the trash on the lawn”. Come on, Chair Force. get your sh!t together.
Where’s Major Major when you really need him?
Oh, F*** Obama too.
I wish there was one with better resolution.
Read this to my wife and her first question was “So, do I get a medal for having kids then?”
Need to now make her a Child Birth medal with Bronze star for second award.
Well, for what it’s worth I actually worked for a company that gave restaurant gift cards to one of the manufacturing departments for not having any rework (fuck ups) for a certain time period.
I realized I was in the wrong corporate culture when this came up in a management “team building” session and I stated that, “The reward for not fucking up is that your key card still works the next day, and any other compensation should be for any duty over and above the normal requirements of the position.” The look of astonishment around the table was quite humorous to me. Needless to say I stayed there less than a couple of years before moving on to bigger and better things.
My point was it’s not just the military thinking about all the special snow flakes who feel under appreciated for doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing as a component of their job description.
Another embarrassment for the service I joined 23 years ago. Apparently no one in the AF can focus on the mission and do their job without accolade or attention.
Throughout the AF’s short history stupid things like this continue to happen.
Bestowing Security Police with berets to make them “distinctive”.
Providing aircrew survival instructors tabs like special forces. When that wasn’t enough they decided a green beret would work better for survival instructors.
Then flight suits for space console operators, UAV operators, missile operators, flight surgeons, etc.
Bottom line in the AF…if you discover that your mission isn’t as high speed as you thought, or you somehow feel disassociated from the tip of the spear where operators reside, or don’t feel appreciated enough, simply bitch, whine, complain, or otherwise draw attention to yourself.
Someone in leadership will make sure you feel appreciated with a ribbon, uniform item, incentive pay, or some bullshit title that utilizes the words warrior, combat, battlefield, or special.
WTF is going on???
Even when I was in the AF (mid-70s) most Airmen graduated BMT with more ribbons than their Army/Navy/Marine/CG counterparts. Stay in one hitch and you could look like MacArthur or something.