Where’s my government bailout?

Stocks tanked again on news that the feds aren’t going to buy potentially worthless assets. So what were the banks thinking? Were they going to bring bags of leaves to Washington to trade for cash? They expected the tax payers to go down the same road they took their businesses down?

Now, it’s the same with the auto industry. GM, although they turn out a superior product to those Japanese crap boxes that get foisted upon the American buying public, has been behind the curve on every major trend in the market. In fact, I heard on Fox News this morning, they’re planning on cranking out a new model Hummer next season. WTF?

GM practically invented the SUV (I drove a Blazer in 1974) so how the Hell could they get behind the Japanese when it became a fad to drive an SUV? I remember sitting in a 1979 Blazer with leather seats, surround sound (cassette player), plush carpeting and electrically adjusted captain’s chairs that cost 10 grand at the time (for comparison, the new Mustang I bought that year cost $5500) so how’d they’d miss out on that trend 15 years later?

Next in line for some bailout cash will be the airlines who are always crying for money.I wqonder how successful they’ll be this time without Tom Daschle to lobby for his wife’s industry from the floor of the Senate.

Well, where’s my money, dammit? There are blogs going out of business all around me since last Tuesday, readership is climbing, but I’m operating at a loss here. I even have a K Street lobbyist on my staff and he won’t get off his ass to get me my share of that $700 billion.

Oh, that reminds me, I haven’t paid my staff, either. Ever. Think of the children that are being affected by my slave-driving leadership style with no payroll.

I guess I could spend more money on research, technology and shoe-leather journalism, but why bother when there’s $700 billion floating around out there for every cry baby who can raise his voice above a whisper.

Category: Politics