Michael Conrad “Chico” Hays: Phony Marine Recon/Army SF

| April 9, 2014

Michael Conrad Hays Desert Storm patches

Someone sent us this Michael Conrad Hays guy last night. For some reason his nickname is “Chico”. Here’s his Facebook page where he claimes to be concurrently serving in the Marine Corps and the Army Special Forces. Here’s his pose, notice the SF DUI tattoo on his left delt;

Michael Conrad Hays tattoo

The Marine Force Recon patch on his little jacket;

Michael Conrad Hays jacket

You’ll notice in the picture at the top of the page, he has a Desert Storm patch on his little vest.

Well, he was a Marine, he served four years and got out as an E-3. But he was a auto mechanic, not a recon guy. He says he still serving, but he got out in 1993. Army? Well. The folks who sent this to me say he was busted a few years back and he’s at it again. But here’s his DD214;

Michael Conrad Hays DD214

Category: Phony soldiers

80 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
MGySgtRet.

What all you haters don’t know is, if you are as high speed as Chico and serve in Force Recon AND Special Forces AND you are an automotive vehicle mechanic, you can drive YOURSELF on all of your top secret missions!! Saves time and effort and having to get all of the support personnel involved. So give the guy a break. He was an innovator.

LebbenB

Wow…Those HSLD Spec-Ops guys really CAN do it all.

Grimmy

Can do it all?

Too true. What’s not being said, is that the guy is also full certed to fly all mil aircraft, fixed and rotor wing, and can drive a nuke sub all by himself.

It’s not being said because it’s Super Duper Secret (SDS). SDS is the highest classification before Top Secret, and Top Secret is for First Sergeants only!

Green Thumb

The only thing this man drives is meaty johnstons with his hand up his two-hole as he squats over his conquest.

Maggot.

NHSparky

No doubt he’ll be here directly with his Bronze Star and Purple Heart awards he drew up in crayon himself, and threatening to sue us after he retains the services of “Crash” Bernath.

LebbenB

As if lying about one’s service in one branch isn’t enough, this joker wants to lie about TWO branches.

His nick-name is Chico because that’s probably where he did his “bit” – Chico State Pen in CA.

What an asshole. Some guys from Group ought to get up with him and remove that tattoo with dull knives.

Beretverde

Guys in Group don’t have dull knives…but they do have sandpaper.

Hondo

Beretverde: don’t some also enjoy metalwork as a hobby? That would mean they’d likely also have a grinder and a wire wheel . . . .

MGySgtRet.

Maybe they could remove it with baseball bats.

LebbenB

Yeah, that tat would be hard to see underneath all that bruising.

JoshO

Repeat as needed if it reappears

Grimmy

Iron spiked clue bats would work better, I think.

ArmyATC

Naw. It’s “Chico” because he likes to spread his “Cheekos” for his butt buddies.

Hondo

Claims of “black ops” and “classified records” countdown: 10-9-8-7 . . . .

LebbenB

“I ran missions into Mustardistan. I said I wanted a mission and they gave me one. After that I never wanted another…I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve said too much already.”

A Proud Infidel®™

“I COULD tell you about the Black Ops I did in the jungles of Paprika, but then I’d have to kill you!”

CWORet

My ops were blacker than yours.

Spartan Deuce

His biker patch should read “Brotherhood of the Letter of Appreciation.”

LebbenB

Instead of SoA, it’s LoA for him.

FMR PAO

Four years service, left as an E-3.

High speed, low drag.

LebbenB

I think you got it backwards – Low Speed, High Drag.

Twist

That dude is so high drag he could be used as a ship anchor.

LebbenB

He’s so low speed that he might as well be in “Park.”

Pineywoods NCO

Don’t you mean, “Reverse”, LebbenB?

NHSparky

No doubt compounded by the fact he received at least on NJP.

Notice the lack of GCM and the fact his GCM commencement date was April 1992.

Someone wasn’t exactly a stellar Marine while he was in.

I also noted the LACK of deployment time. Four years at 29 Stumps and out. And during DS/DS, no less.

FatCircles0311

Good cookie is only awarded to those enlisted Marines who weren’t caught is all.

Let’s be honest here….

🙂

Grimmy

Yeah, well…

Sometimes, in the Corps, NJP are thrown out as random H&I fire just to keep the Lance Mafia dispersed.

Somewhat seriously, NJP in the Corps can often mean nothing more than your command was behind in quota.

Taurus USMC 0302

What a dickwad

Nunya

He’s STILL on Facebook btw! Link: https://www.facebook.com/chico.hays

This tool is on the dating website Plenty of Fish. Here’s his POF profile with title name ChicoGunny: http://www.pof.com/member59461581.htm

nbcguy54

I suppose some folks will do whatever it takes to pick up guys…..

nbcguy54

National Defence(?) Service Medal? Earn this from England????

Squeclch2k

Wearing a SEAL hat here:comment image

LebbenB

So far we’ve seen Army, Marine Corps and Navy. Surely there must be a pic of him somewhere wearing Air Force PJ/Combat Control/TACP paraphernalia.

Hondo

Hmmmm . . . a “quad-fecta” of false Special Operations claims? I think that would be a new one!

LebbenB

A new high in lows.

NHSparky

Fucking roids must have gone to his brain.

UpNorth

Sparky, I think the roids ate right through what little brain matter there might have been. I wonder what’s keeping his head from collapsing in on itself?

MGySgtRet.

He even has an old style Eagle Globe and Anchor on his SEAL hat. That just screams legit. AND he is driving a boat, once again proving he can move himself from mission to mission with no support required. The guy is a doer. All this hate must stop!!!!

nbcguy54

It looks like he is driving one of those tour boat DUKWs for tourists. Quite the career move with all of his prior military experience. Any bets on if he tells war stories to the tourists while putting around on the lake?

Legans

I went to the Army Pathfinder course in 1986 and another student named Audiss, (I don’t recall his first name) was there from one of the Force Recon companies. A few years later, 1991, I was in K 3/8, boarding USS Ponce for a Med Cruise when I ran into him again. He got out of the Marines, joined the Navy and was a Corpsman with the SEAL platoon embarking with us.

I ain’t saying this clown is legit, I’m just saying it has happened.

MSGRetired

Well at least he has his name on his back so his Boyfriend knows what to call him while he is giving him a poke !

OWB

Why would anyone do that? If you have trouble remembering who you are, shouldn’t your name be somewhere you can see it yourself?

MGySgtRet.

I am guessing that this assclown is no stranger to the taste of another man’s junk.

A Proud Infidel®™

Damn things are still popping out like flies on roadkill! Remember my suggestion on the Frank V. thread? hell, we could have a “TARD PLATOON” show at the rate these roaches keep coming out of the cracks!!

Sparks

To borrow from another poster:

TURD!

Sorry GT

Green Thumb

No problem.

I need to expand my vocabulary anyway.

Queef.

Sparks

Green Thumb…Queef!…LMAO! Never thought of that one! Very appropriate for this steroid junky, metrosexual.

Hondo

Just remember not to use “Butthead”, GT.

Butthead was the “smart” one. (smile)

CWORet

I’m guilty of this as well. It’s just that too often, it’s really the only appropriate response.

JarHead Pat

HAHAHAHAHAHHA,Not this fuck stick again,Iremember him from 2010?He lives in Burien Wa.Was seen in a big humvee with EGA stickers and PH/Silver Star tags.There use to be this epic page on facebook called douchebags of facebook,and he was in there as there number 2 guy.He posed as a ‘Gunny’ don’t they all?claimed Bronze Star/V,multi PH’S,Marine Force Recon,Scout/Sniper Silver Star(s)he said all his black ops are sealed hahahahaha.I know that Gunny Crane,contacted the DMV of Wa. state,but I don’t know if he ever got his tags taken away.He has or use to have a repair biz called Gunny’s all repair,this clown has no soul.

CWORet

Must. Find. Link.

Nunya

He’s STILL on Facebook btw! Link: https://www.facebook.com/chico.hays

This tool is on the dating website Plenty of Fish. Here’s his POF profile with title name ChicoGunny: http://www.pof.com/member59461581.htm

PG

This lying SOB is haunting the Plenty of Fish dating site. He should have put money into grammar lessons than all his fake tattoos!
Link: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=74627968

2/17 Air Cav

I hope Francis eyeballs this thread. What would he say, leave this guy alone or, perhaps, that Chico is a Marine or Army SF because he wanted to be one so badly? Posers are posers and differ only by degree of arrogance.

NHSparky

Nah, he’d probably whine and cry that we’re picking on him too cause we have nothing better to do.

Speaking of which, time to go smoke-test an SEL-421.

Mustang2LT

Schweitzer protective relay? Nice.

Mustang2LT

That’s alright. I’m just doing a little pre-mob training. But then, I don’t have a life.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

There is no shame in honorable work in the motor pool, there is no shame in honorable work period.

There is a great deal of shame in being a lying sack of crap however. Mr. Chico Hays is an embarrassment to the phrase “Semper Fidelis” as loyal, faithful men don’t need to dishonor themselves with lies and fabrications.

He learned his skills in the military and started his own business, that’s a good thing and extremely respectable, and now it is much less so because of the deceptions.

So many of these pretenders would be receiving so much more support if there were honest. I always prefer doing business with a veteran owned business, I prefer hiring veterans when I have those applicants. But I will not hesitate to terminate liars on the spot when they are found out.

PG

This lying SOB is haunting the Plenty of Fish dating site. He should have put money into grammar lessons than all his fake tattoos!
Link: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=74627968

JarHead Pat

https://local.yahoo.com/info-85334308-gunny-s-all-area-service-company-seattle?csz=Seattle%2C+WA

I think he went bust,there use to be 20/30 rips on him from yelp

AmyJ

JH Pat: Phone number still good?

FatCircles0311

What a dickbutt.

A Proud Infidel®™

OK, I looked at his farcebook page where he lists:

USMC – Nov 89 to present

US Army Special Forces

Just that ALONE screams *BULLSHIT ALERT* to me!!

Sparks

Proud I’m surprised they didn’t recruit him out of the arcade like “That phony Chippendale SEAL, Joseph Cryer”

Or maybe they just found him in the gym, actually, in the gym shower with a dude and said, “Man, lookin’ at you go to town, you are High Speed material all the way! You’re takin’ it BIG and not even asking for a reach around! We need some metrosexual, ‘roid junkies to round out the services and you’re our guy! Love the tats by the way, those will save you some time! Just sign here that you received this briefing and your copy of the paperwork son.”

Nunya

He’s STILL on Facebook btw! Link: https://www.facebook.com/chico.hays

This tool is on the dating website Plenty of Fish. Here’s his POF profile with title name ChicoGunny: http://www.pof.com/member59461581.htm

Green Thumb

This turd is simply a product of anal sex gone bad.

Shame actually.

He could always work for “His Gayness, The Jayness” Kerwin at LA Boot Camp.

Toss in Phildo and the sky is the limit.

Sparks

“Chico, Jay and Phildo all together folks! That’s right…it’s the latest Gay-Per-View, “TouchFest Event LXIX”! Just $49.95 for an hour of all the gay touching you just thought you’d seen before! Brought to you by, Gay-Per-View Productions and All-Points Logistics.”

AverageNCO

If a gay person is reading this blog, I’m guessing they’re going to be mad folks are trying to pawn this guy off on them.

Green Thumb

Probably not once this maggot gets the kick in the nuts he deserves.

I wonder if he has consulted with Matthew Meck on his ink?

A Proud Infidel®™

Maybe he/it doesn’t have any nuts left after doing ‘roids?

OldSargeUSAR

As ArmyATC, GT, and others have suggested, cheeky Chico is clearly a whack job gay-boy. Those pajama bottoms he is wearing in his “pose” photo look kinda damp. Could he be a bedwetter, too?

Green Thumb

I wonder where he stole that jacket?

A Sad, Strange Little Man with Fake Boobs

*SWOON*

Valkyrie

Wow! This guy is HOT, except for the receding hairline, the over done fake tan, the body acne from roid use, his shortness, and the shrinking balls from again roid use, and his face! Yep, except for all that he’s hot.

AverageNCO

I don’t remember a lot from my 10th grade Spanish class, but I do remember Chico translates to “Boy”. The only other guy I remember who chose to use “Boy” as his name was a British fellow in the 80’s with frilly clothes and lots of makeup. Just sayin’

Green Thumb

Gargling balls they have in common….

PolterGeist

This tool is on the dating website Plenty of Fish. Here’s his POF profile with title name http://www.pof.com/member59461581.htm

Here’s his dating comments on Plenty of Fish:

Hi my name is Gunny. I’m a Marine I have 3 kids 18 and twins 13 I’m a single father I’m not looking for a mother for my kids they have one.I’m not here to. Build my confidence.. I’mhere to find a woman. Whom I can share my time with..be real have pic from 2010 or to hit me back. I like country R and B and I love.to be out and about.I’m real you be to keep that Bs with your X I don’t.have time for games.or a hook up.I have a.hart and. I want to give it to. Someone. Looking for their sword. So if you r still reading go for.it what you got.to lose…cow girls and military. A big ++++ and tats a kiss tells a thousand. Words.fyi I have no time for timed gales…. All in or hold your bet this cowboy. Is as real. As they get.

He’s STILL on Facebook btw! Link: https://www.facebook.com/chico.hays

nbcguy54

I wonder if that’s his pickup with the Purple Heart plates on it? That could be a real live Stolen Valor issue there – the DD214 didn’t show that.
On a separate note, wouldn’t it be fun to hit the poser with some of his own medicine? Go on that dating site and get him all excited as he talks with some hot, sexy, gotta have you now “woman”. ha.

Polter Geist

I copied his pics on the Plenty of Fish dating site for further proof he’s a liar/stolen valor type. Oh, he did have a 2nd Recon Bn photo up for awhile, but he took that down and recycled the one’s you can see on there. -What a DOUCHE. Have fun with getting him all worked up, I asked him about being Recon and he didn’t respond in a legit manner. His horrid spelling/grammar says it all. 😉

trackback

[…] This Ain’t Hell Blog ; http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=42740 […]