Bernath files: Who else wants to go work for Yelp?

| April 5, 2014

More from the world’s greatest legal mind that cracked me up this morning. Woke up early this morning after a nightmare, and was delighted by an email from one of the hundreds of lawyers feeding me stuff. I literally LOL’d my ass off when I read this. (Yes, I no longer have an ass.)

Yelp’s at times cult like control of plaintiffs through social prestige, casual sex, hetro, homo, perverted, free liquor and demands of more labor from plaintiffs.

First off, that isn’t even a complete sentence.  Second, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Mind you, dumbass already lost this once, and owes Yelp 22k.

Category: Politics

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H1

The feline fur ball woke me early also.
Feed Me!
Yelp and social prestige would not be a phrase I would assemble.
Then again yelp is not my go to tool.
Must be hanging with the wrong peeps.

Hondo

What’s that old saying – “A lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client?”

I have the impression that Danni-boi here should not type or draft legal documents . . . well, ever. But it seems to me that he really should have put the proverbial bong down before drafting that one.

That’s my opinion, and I’m sticking to it. (smile)

2/17 Air Cav

No way!

LebbenB

Mindless word drool from a slobbering idiot.

AW1 Tim

The gifts that keep on giving! 🙂

You know, a collection of all these gems from these poseurs might be a nice way to provide the core of a class in Law School about “Don’t Be That Guy”.

Sort of a fair warning about what lurks out there beneath the veneer of reality.

UpNorth

“Don’t be that guy” or, perhaps, How Not to Succeed on the Internet?

Valkyrie

Can someone post the juicy bits? I’m worried about downloading anything to my phone that Dan-Dan the gay man wrote. It might make my phone suddenly start bursting into show tunes and complaining about this summer’s latest fashions.

NHSparky

He’s not REALLY that fucking stupid is he?

Oh wait, he is. And nuttier than squirrel shit to boot.

Buttblast, have you taken those photos of my family members down yet? We’re on what, day 8 now?

And in the incredibly unlikely even you ever serve me with papers like you said you were doing, please consider that I’ll be doing a counterclaim, FYI. I’m sure TSO has explained all this to you about how that works.

Thunderstixx

I’m with the BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA crowd !!!!!

The guy must have been the Lt from 3’Rd platoon with that shit…

GDContractor

He had me at “hetro”.

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

The dangers of mixing oxycodone and gin are proven here!

I really can’t wait much longer!

ThommyMac

Ha ha ha ha ha ha I really MUST learn not to read TAH comments during staff meetings. The IT guy gets busted again.

taco bell

Where can I get a sheep skin like ole Danny Boy’s? I wanna go to NYC and be like one of those guys on Suits…

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

NYC is a very cool city!

Bernath is not wanted!

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

he is a leegul geeneous

Delilah T.

‘hetro’ — Is that a variation of ‘metro’?

ArmyATC

Christ on a crutch. he old worn out vagina face can’t help himself. He just has to go over the hill stupid.

OldSoldier54

Man, this guy ain’t hittin’ on all eight cylinders.

Scratch that. There’s no way he’s even a V-8.

He’s more like a ’94 Geo Metro(sexual) with a three banger, and I’m pretty sure he’s hittin’ on only one.

What a freakin’ space cadet.

HMCS(FMF) ret

And the one is the “cornhole”…

Hondo

“Cornhole”? NO!!! Cornholio will not permit it!

OldSoldier54

Oh, no. Not the dread CORNHOLIO!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo …

OldSoldier54

Hmmmm …

Now’s one of those times I could use an EDIT function …

MrBill

We’re giving you social prestige, sex of every variety, and free liquor! What more can you ask for?

Mr. Blue

Credit where credit is due: At first, I didn’t think ‘Crash’ Bernath had what it takes to win the tournament. But he has really brought teh crazy- not only a Wickre level of crazy, but he brought the actual Wickre! And DuLlAsS to boot.

This is definately the man to beat this yeat, and Daniel Bernath, you are truely an inspiration to amoral ambulance chasing wannabes on unearned disability everywhere!

OldSoldier54

Here, here.

Church the tubby Ranger, ain’t even in the running over this dingbat.

Kind of like a Little League team trying to play the winning team from the World Series.

Mr. Blue

Church, Pedro the Pedo, and Momma’s Lil Seel have potential, but they really need to step up their game.

OldSoldier54

Something smells about Pedro the Pedo …

😛

Just An Old Dog

Damn did I pick the wrong career!!! Why couldn’t I have worked for Yelp. I only got controlled by my paycheck, I had to go out and get my own hetro/homo/perverted sex and liquor.

B Woodman

I hate to sound ignerent, but what’s a Yelp?

Hondo

yelp: n – a short, sharp cry of alarm or pain; v – utter a short, sharp cry of alarm or pain

Usage: “The foolish lawyer representing himself let out a yelp when he realized that losing his lawsuit and being ordered to pay tens of thousands of dollars to his opponent in legal fees would ruin him financially. (He might also have whimpered.)”

Yelp is also a website where users of businesses rate them. See

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yelp,_Inc.

(smile)

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

You guys are using the wrong addresses for the coded messages:

Sandbox@yahoo.com
Catlitterbox@google.com
Hairybox@verizon.net
Roundbox@emtae.com
Electbox@ssabmud.net

Make sure subjecct line reads: SECURE MESSAGE

OVER

ChipNASA

Hey Dan PUSSY

Guess who ELSE was just given an honor you will NEVER HAVE?!?!?

MCPON Names Gary Sinise Honorary Chief

http://www.navy.mil/submit/display.asp?story_id=69227