DoD responds to lunchgate
Thank God the DoD is all over this like Oprah on a ham:
“A freshly-prepared standard detainee halal meal was provided to the
defendant by the Joint Task Force during the lunch recess. The defendant
complained that his lunch did not include condiments such as olives and
honey.” This is attributable, on the record, to US Navy Capt. Robert
Durand, Director of Public Affairs, Joint Task Force Guantanamo.
Ain’t that some bullshit? Dude, I’ll do you one better. The DoD is torturing me as well, and I intend to file suit. Everyday they have a PFC come around and ask us if we want Subway. So I filled out this onerous form to get my sandwich (Roast beef, tomoatoes, hot peppers, onions, sweet onion sauce.) And today, because of the mental torture, I forgot to check the box for 12′ sub, and only got a 6 inch sub.
Now, earlier I had suggested that the dude deserved an AAM for excellent delivery of Subway sandwiches to the needy bitch dude in teh media room. But now….dude brought me a 6 inch. That’s right, a 6 inch sub. What man do you know that ever ordered a 6″ sub? Do I look like Jared? Look PFC, I’m going to die young, and I’ve come to peace with that. Bring me the 12″. I have half a mind to march down there and demand he take me to Subway. But I won’t. Mostly because we still seem to occasionally discuss bowel movements in this case, and the only thing I like more than the SyFy channel is good bowel movement discussions in open court.
If you think I’m not adding “olives and honey” to my Subway order tomorrow, I’ve got a non-halal punch for your face.
Torture indeed.
Category: Politics
TSO..HALP!!!! Why is the judge throwing out “Jihad” references in Hasan Trial??
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2013/08/20/Judge-Throws-Out-Key-Evidence-Against-Hasan
Really? Pieces of shit deserve to be publicaly hanged. There last meal should consist of equal parts pork fat and pig shit,
We’re moving throat punch day from Thursday up to Tuesday.
@3 and Marine Piss.
I think I’m getting seriusly tired of these spoiled brats.
Why are we concerned about whether or not these f#ckers get halal food? I would offer them fried pork blood sausages or a stiff beating, under what nonsense are we concerned about what they eat? They are murderous pieces of human garbage and deserve zero consideration regarding their dietary desires, religious desires, or any other desire. We can let them know their little religious book lets them eat non-halal when no halal is available and tell them they can eat pork or f#cking starve….and if they don’t eat we will beat them until they either eat or are dead and my favorite choice would be option 2.
They want to call us the great satan? I’m thinking we are not doing nearly enough to earn the title….
#4 Ex-PH2 you beat me to it … I just *throws hands in the air* fuck this make them kick start a 1911, if they are going to hate us might as well have a reason, please fo make sure the bullets have the modified 13th century celtic cross which contains the “saint benedict” medal, as the church has deemed that anyone that touches that is blessed and converted to the Christian religion.
@1, largely because it isn’t really pertinent and is probably too inflammatory. It really won’t change anything either way, and honestly, I think this is a good thing, because it also means Hasan can’t mount some sort of PR campaign about how, “why yes, it was Jihad, required of me by my religion which the US has declared war on and…” etc. Dude killed a bunch of folks. He doesn’t deny it, so you don’t really need to get to the motivation, being that he’s already conceded it.
Put another way, think of something like self-defense. In a self defense case you don’t make the gov’t prove that you did the deed, that you intended to do the deed etc, and then mount self-defense. Ie. no one is arguing “I didn’t shoot person X, but if you think I did, then I did it because he was attacking me.” Hasan has already conceded that he shot everyone. The only thing at issue is whether he had some reason for doing so that renders the act legal. Apparently his defense is that he did it to protect Taliban. So, maybe Hasan himself will introduce the evidence himself, and we’ll move forward from there.
Yer complaining about the food, detainee? OK, I got yer Halal meal right here, for the foreseeable future:
1 cup boiled lentils or chickpeas, unseasoned
1 cup cooked brown rice, unseasoned, w/1 tbsp vegetable oil
2 loaves pita bread
1 piece fresh fruit
1 salt packet
Serve 3x daily. With first meal of the day, multivitamin tablet. No substitutions authorized.
@8,
This.
Olives and honey, my ass.
To easy.
Don’t feed them lunch.
Period.
I only consume 6″ subs.
Trying to maintain my svelte 200lbs.
@10, totally communist.
NSA, find #10 and revoke his citizenship for ordering a 6″ sub.
And, most times I ditch half the bread.
We all know you can only handle 6 inches.
I almost get upset when they cut my sub in half.
Two words, TSO–STEAK BOMB. Yeah, with red hots, mushrooms, and onions, too.
Or better yet, there’s a place near my work that does great roast beef “four ways” on an onion roll.
Bet that shit ain’t halal.
Italian BMT, 12″, lots of oregano and extra pickles.
Also, for the record, I’m getting VERY VERY TIRED of ANYONE in government monitoring what I eat. I follow the guidelines in the book ‘French Women Don’t Get Fat’. That’s all I need.
Fat Woman at Subway
“Bread?
“Oh, Italian herb.”
“Thats a 12″, right?”
“Oh, I really shouldn’t. But okay, I’ll save the other half for dinner.”
“What would you like on that?”
“Oh, maybe just some lettuce. And a little of that, that. A bit of that, that, and this. Oh, and that, too. I really shouldn’t.”
“Dressing?”
“Ranch, please. Is that low fat?”
“No.”
“Well, maybe a little…..A smidge more please.”
“Anything else?”
“Chips. Maybe one cookie.”
“Special. Three for the price of two.”
“Ummm. You’re quite a salesman. Okay. Three.”
“Anything to drink?”
“What sort of diet soda do you have?”
I say give them a transfusion of pig’s blood the day before they’re hanged, and bury their corpses wrapped in pigskin full of porcine excreta!!
@17 If you were to transfuse them with pigs’ blood, I don’t think you’d have to worry about hanging them, API. 😉
When you order your sub tomorrow, be sure to ask for the Olives and Honey “on the side”
This reminds me of when POWs were complaining because they were in an austere environment and the Marine Commander dealing with them said, “they are dealing with the same situation and same food as my Marines.” but they were too much of a bunch of pussies to handle that. Ohhhh, but they’ll live in the desert for thousands of years. wtf, over?
@18
Don’t forget to wrap their bodies in bacon before you bury them.
Just give them some school pizza.
David, that sounds like a WASTE of perfectly good bacon!! That’s why I suggested the pig blood transfusion and pigskin bodybag!! Hmm, maybe add some pig entrails fresh from the slaughterhouse to his bodybag before it’s thrown in a landfill?
No olives? Sorry, we’re fresh out. The honey was on your pancakes this morning. You should pay attention.
@14.
I hate to say this, but I am 6″ guy.
I have the soda and chips at the house.
But what I do is use a coupon for buy-one-get-one-free.
Serves as lunch the next day.
Cheaper aint’ necessarily by the dozen.
Have to augment that old Chapter 30. (Have not even gotten into the Chapter 33 yet)
Just saying….
Please do not think less of me…
Head cheese
Waah! His dumb ass whines too much. That the exercise machines aren’t new enough and they don’t get enough cable channels are next.
@21. School pizza = Alphalt shingles with ketchup on top
I have one of those metabolisms that won’t let me get fat. It’s a curse (that I like) because I rarely eat healthy food. Most every night I mix strawberry and chocolate Breyers, spill some milk on it so it gets icy and go to town. My wife sees what I eat and SHE gains a pound. Go figure.
Maybe I could sign a contract (Phildo style) with the DoD to send food to GITMO to help out TSO with his lack of fresh, delicious, yummy, mouth-watering and tasty organically grown vegetables (and sauces)on his 6″ sammiches?
I could send them my organic produce at 900% mark-up on the taxpayer dollar.
I am not a Native American or LEO but I have been on a reservation and I received a parking ticket (bullshit, of course) once.
Instant qualifications!
I am not a SEAL, but I did attend Ranger School although I never served in BAT.
Covering the bases here….
How about some good ‘ol Navy midrats?
That reminds me:
Boycott Halal
http://youtu.be/3gYq2DQG1zI
It’s a must-see.
Forget feeding pork to the prisoners, I say we feed the prisoners to the pork.
just get 2 six inch subs
I’m no psychologist but this sounds like TSO is projecting his desire for 12″ onto a sandwich. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Just for you, TSO (smile):
I think you should choose your lunch items based on the amount of flatulence you will generate. After all, they are stinking up the courtroom with their bullshit. No reason you can’t too.
@36.
Roger that!