“Competition between real men on real tanks”
According to Fox News, the Russians have invited the US to compete in their tank biathlon next year. Their competition started this week, too late for us to join them, but I guess Chuck Hagel accepted the offer. That’s good news – at least some of our tank crews are going to have money to train this coming year;
The first-time event taking place this week has competitors from Russia, Armenia, Belarus and Kazakhstan racing T-72 tanks around a 13-mile track and shooting at five targets. Tanks that miss the targets must take a 1,600-foot penalty lap, The Telegraph reports.
Thanks to Smitty for the link.
Category: Military issues
Tank biathlons! I want to play, too!!!
Is this going to be a new Olympic sport? Can the Army send its best tank drivers, or will the Marines beat them to it?
I wonder if I could rent that Sherman tank sitting in the Military Museum up near the state line, just off the interstate.
The real question will be: Can a tank be stopped by dental floss?
Stay tuned for the next part of this story.
Real men? I take offense. I think it’s time we take a “real hard look hard look at what really makes a competent (tanker)”. It’s not all about hitting the targets you shoot at, or keeping your tank in working order. When will we stop over emphasizing traditional brawny activities like breaking track over other qualities; such as people’s feelings? When are we going to take into account things like, you know; how well a person thinks they could possibly do a job, or how good they are at filling out OERs, or completing risk assessments? – Haring, 0-6 one each.
** satire **
I want to play also! I’ve never driven a tank, but I ROCK at bumper cars!
Hope they don’t invite the Germans. Their new Leopard is a show stopper.
For real though it should be interesting. The Russians have had a serious case of Butt-hurt since we made scrap metal out of their designs in Desert Storm and OIF.
The apologists for the Soviets bring up that the tanks destroyed by us were not updated export versions and were poorly maintained and crewed.
Would be good to see how a well maintained Soviet Tank with a crack crew would perform.
The T-34, by sheer numbers alone, was one of the biggest factors in winning WW2. It was fast, fairly reliable, and was more than a match for the earlier model German Tanks. It was a good infantry support tank, and though it couldn’t stand up to the Tiger, Panther or Large Assault guns, it was able to swarm them in great numbers.
Maybe Giduck can make a guest appearance…engaging targets with shovels thrown from the back of a moving pickup
I’ll just leave this here
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/militaryhumor/a/tanker.htm
This looks like a job for Tank Girl!!!!
All we need is a tank, some fuel, and some shells, and we’re in!
Just for shits and grins we should train up a crew of wookies on an Abrams,,,, It would still beat the Soviets.
This also
http://www.strategypage.com/humor/articles/military_jokes_murphys_laws_of_armor.asp
not that don’t trust the Ruskies, but why do I have a feeling they would probably set up the range in a was so as to stack the deck in favor of themselves?
Would LOVE to have a track-side seat to watch that.
“Maybe Giduck can make a guest appearance…engaging targets with shovels thrown from the back of a moving pickup”
Make it from a Jaguar,,, Pee Pee Weaker can be drunk Driving and Phildo can use his SEAL team 4 skills to designate the targets with a flashlight.
Why not set up a booby trap for the Russkies before they start? Go out the night before and dig trenches across the front of each of their tanks, cover them with narrow boards, sticky mylar and dirt, then wait for the fun to start. The trenches don’t have to be deep, just wide enough to drop the tanks a bit.
And then use nets made of dental floss to gum up the treads.
@13 Because the idea in the game is friendly competition, Ex-PH2 — not to start a war. Tanks at 50 paces would be a hard one for the politicians to smooth over.
How thick a rope of dental floss do you need to create a net of it that will stop a tank in its tracks? You’d have to have rope at least one inch thick, right? Or would two inches thick be more effective? And you make the net 30 feet wide, 5 feet high, and string it between two pylons set deep into the ground.
Since dental floss sticks to itself and you can’t just break it by hand, I figure this is one way to gum up every track you can find.
im pretty sure this is only being planned so they can cancel it and blame sequestration.
loved the 1sg math twist, that was pretty damned funny
Is this the Russian version of the Boeslager Cup?
Me wanna go!!!!!
Tank biathlon = Throw track in mud, break track in mud…
If you can’t cheat in something like this, it’s no fun.
#7 Ex-PH2: ROFTL! I would pay real money to watch Tank Girl take on Vladimir. *G*
I agree with the Old Dog. That game was settled back in 91. The T-72 earned a second place finish. Case closed. Besides, the Iraqi army had more armored warfare experience than the Russians have had in the last thirty years. When they left A’stan the ground was littered with T-72’s and none of them were killed by other tanks. Remember, the Iraqis had just fought Iran for eight years by the time of the Gulf war. The Russians have not fought a tank on tank battle since 1945.
So it would come down to the simplicity and robustness of the T72 -vs- the computers and on-to-move accuracy of the Abrahms.
But where would the German Leopard fit in?
@22 Third place, maybe fourth. We took M2s and M60s to that war and the Brads definitely had T-72 kills.
We kicked Russian airborne mech infantry ass in Bosnia back in 1997 in a joint LFX…they got on our ass for taking the time to properly boresight our tanks after we HET’d them to Glamoc, but as a young tank company XO, I told the Army LNO to pound sand. When it came time to put steel on target, they were shooting a lot of rounds, but not hitting shit. Our platoon then went down the lane and put on a clinic for Wes Clark (SACEUR) and all the other brass who came to watch.
I was just a 1LT at the time, but it sure seemed like the Russians were more interested in rehearsing the dog & pony stuff and looking good than actually doing what their BMDs were designed to do.
I was wholly unimpressed with the way the leadership treated their troops, too. Completely different military culture over there (officers eat 1st, separately, & far enjoy better fare, which is scary considering the gruel factor of Russian army Class 1). Unless you witness it firsthand, you don’t really understand it.
@21 – Me, too.
@Ex-PH2. Hey – I LIKED Tank Girl. Lori Petty was perfect to play her. Great soundtrack, too, a who’s who of early 90’s alternative.
@25 I never got meet too many Ruskies, we had two that were with us as observers in training in early 91. One guy was pretty cool the other was a grouchy dirty fat bastard sporting one of the striped undershirts you usually associate with Spetsnatz. He was anything but elite. We did a simple 1 mile hike to the range and he “pulled up lame” and had to get in the hummer. We had full gear and he wasn’t carrying shit.
Watched some videos of the war in Chechnya and the guys are definately 3rd stringers.
@25 In GEN Fred Franks’ autobiography he mentioned visiting Russia towards the end of the Cold War. They took him to one of their training sites which had a glass-encased reviewing stand and he noticed that there were very well worn track marks in the mud everywhere as if they kept doing the exact same thing over and over. What we call a rehearsal they call training.
TMB, They had the reputation of staging training events to embelish their capabilties.
I have heard of them going so far as emplacing bridges about 4 feet below the surface of a river to make sure their “Amphibius Personnel Carriers” made it accross.
So they’re using the old t-72? Hand cranked turret and no fancy targeting to keep things interesting? They didn’t mention it, but I’ll bet everybody has to use a t-72. It’s probably best that way.
This may be of interest-
http://englishrussia.com/2013/08/02/training-exercises-of-russian-tankers/
Now, see, this gives me an idea for a story: it opens with a tank triathlon, where they perform maneuvers, shoot at targets for extra points, and then engage a group of tanks – maybe 6 – doing maneuvers in synch with music like the “Blue Danube”. And extra points for shooting during the synchronized part.
And everyone cheats in this competition, too.
If they don’t have tank jousting, I’ll be greatly disappointed.
Tank jousting! Yes! A new armored sport, live and in color and full HD sound!
We could probably get that on the History channel. I can see it now…. Bradleys against Shermans.
@32 That exercise looked very staged.
T72s have had some updates and have a lot more advanced technology since 92′ They still have inferior armor, they have had to use a lot of reactive armor in Chechnya.
Lots of You tube videos about Syrian Army tanks getting popped by rpgs. Pretty gross video of a burned driver getting pulled out of a tank in Grotzny in 1992 too.
I could see tank jousting going two ways.
Either two tanks rush at each other and spear one another with barrels until one flips or can’t move.
Or, two tanks rush at each other with a guy sitting astride the barrel an shield and lance in his hands. If he falls off the barrel, that’s a point. If he falls completely off the tank, that’s three points.
@28
The blue and white striped shirts you mentioned aren’t actually Spetsnaz (which is russian “special forces”) but instead VDV which is the russian version of “Airborne”
Just friendly information