Al Qaeda pledges jailbreak at Gitmo
In the wake of a jail break at Abu Gharaib in Iraq which resulted in the release of more than 500 prisoners and another jail break in Pakistan which released another 250 al Qaeda operatives, the Washington Times reports that al Qaeda has pledged to help the detainees at Guantanamo Bay escape;
A leader of al Qaeda said on an Internet audio recording posted Wednesday that militants would stop at nothing to bring about the release of detainees at Guantanamo Bay, and that America’s treatment of inmates who hunger strike is deplorable.
Ayman al-Zawahri said, NBC reported: “The [hunger] strike by our brother at Guantanamo unmasks the true ugly face of America. … We pledge to God that we will spare no effort to free all our prisoners.”
So, I guess they’re feeling froggy. But, I’m sure the detainees will be upset if their prison break happens before they finish the “50 Shades of Gray” series of novels.
Fifty Shades of Grey, the salacious best-selling E. L. James novel often referred to as “Mommy Porn,” is the most popular reading material among Guantanamo detainees in the secretive Camp Seven, Rep. Jim Moran learned last week.
Category: Terror War
“OK, we’ll get a rowboat and get close to the base-”
“Err…Joe?”
“Quiet, Fred! And then we attack the wall with a sledgehammer-”
“Joe? We can fit maybe one other guy in the rowboat. How are we going to rescue all of them?”
“….dammit.”
Just one problem al Qaeda.
The folks guarding Gitmo aren’t Pakistani or Iraqi Police Officers.
They’re trained U.S. Army Soldiers, Sailors and Marines.
@2 Not to mention that they’re also on an island. Good luck with that.
The camp where the Muslim’s are held is indeed on any island. So I wish the dedicated members of Al Qaeda who decide to take part in what will surely become a martyrdom mission the best of luck as they come across the ocean, storm an island, free the prisoners and then safely exfil everyone once they have succeeded.
I think the Al Qaeda Opso has been reading Jason Bourne novels again…..
Bring it. I’m sure that there are a great many bored Marines at Gitmo who would like to break the monotony. It would be a shame, too, if the prisoners were tragically killed in an attempt to free them. Tragic.
Yeah right! And I pledge to prevent my 7 year old from playing with LEGO’s! Let’s compare notes in a few months and see who wins!
Sure. O.K.
Bring it on, Hadjis.
Watching a bunch of rag-head fucks trying to conduct an amphibious operation on a beachhead would be interesting to watch.
Bring it.
LOL, whut? There would be Marines racing to take a crack at the bad guys. 😀
Dear Haji,
Do it, faggots. I’ve never seen a Mk-48 ADCAP go off underneath a rowboat, and I’m kind of curious how much I’d laugh after ya’ll became chum.
“Troops, today’s training exercise will be a live fire exercise at moving targets at sea. Don’t worry, everyone on guard duty will have an opportunity to rotate through. The targets will be dressed as Al-Quida.”
Are they planning to come in at night?
Sharks have no preference for daylight over nighttime. Lots of sharks around Cuba, you know.
I think they’re depending on the Cubans to give them the right-of-way to go overland to Gitmo. They might want to read about Henry Morgan’s capture of Panama City first, though.
*sigh* I wouldn’t be surprised to see a successful Gitmo break. Why? For the simple reason that it would do everything that Obama promised to do with Gitmo in his campaign — it would get the prisoners off our books, and close the prison. If this administration wouldn’t protect an embassy, do you really think they care about a prison?
Cuba has a lot of wildlife, including crocodiles, constrictor snakes, sharks and scorpions. Also, the solenodon is a poisonous shrew-like mammal, and it bites. And then there are the tarantulas and other large spiders, in addition to the very large wasp known as the Cuban tarantula hawk, about 5 to 6 inches long.
And these desert-dwellers are thinking about crawling through the jungles of a tropical island, facing spiders as big as your hands, and wasps that prey on those spiders.
Well, that should be interesting to see. If they do go in from the hilly side, I figure 1 out of the 10 that attempt this marvel will drag his butt out of the bush, begging for water and mercy.
@13 – I dunno about that. The current POTUS seems like he has a preference for ragheads, considering they’re a protected class and all.
This is just to funny to contemplate. I would love to be a fly on the wall of the AQ “war room” that’s planning this! I was not in the Marines so I have a question. From the movie “A Few Good Men” they spoke of Rifle Security Company Windward. Is that real and is it still the Marine security force on Gitmo? Thanks for ant answers.
As long as they escape by water, I’d say open the doors for ’em. Of all the service groups who have had the opportunity to get some live fire in, the submarine lads have really been screwed and deserve the opportunity.
@15 I wasn’t clear. I meant the administration would allow the jailbreak to occur, to further the administration’s agenda — Al Qaeda gets their thugs back, and Obama has the excuse to close the prison.
Are the escapees taking their feeding tubes with them?
I would close Gitmo tomorrow, take the current occupants and place them in the Atlantic Ocean a few thousand miles from land where they can be dropped overboard in sealed coffins with air holes and weighted at twice their body weight…if they can escape they are free to swim home, if not…f#ck ’em let ’em drown.
@20 Here, here!
I say that we let them into the detention facility without a fight. Not even a single guard visible. Then, when they are in the facility, we close the gates, taze every single Goat Fucker in the yard, strip them, delouse them, and let them wake up in a cell with an orange jumpsuit in their size.
@16 There is a Marine Corps Security Force Company down there now. They provide security for the Naval Base. There used to be a tank platoon and other support down there from the Marine Corps, but I am unsure of what all is down there any more.
#21 Sparks
That’s “Hear, hear!”
They’ll be surprised when they find they can’t go there by Greyhound.