A message from one of our Gold Star Moms
I apologize to everyone, I’d fully intended to post this article yesterday by one of our resident Gold Star Mothers, Denise Williams who publishes at the Plainfield Patch. Late is sometimes better than never, I hope that’s the case today, in this Mothers’ Day message “Flowers From Strangers “;
To say there is no other loss like that of an only child is an understatement of epic proportions. The fact there is nothing with which to compare it is evident in the lack of a word in the English language to describe this loss. I am no longer a mom, though I was once.
Sadly, I’m not alone in this position of having once been a mother to an only child. Thankfully, I’m not alone as I’m in contact with other women, most of whom I’ve never met in person, who understand me in ways no one else can. I’m heartsick knowing how many of us are out there but grateful beyond words we have found each other.
Still, grief is a solitary journey. Even members of the same family will grieve differently. We each have our own thoughts and feelings, many of them shared but just as many are our own to bear, struggle with, take comfort from and even reject.
I’m not comfortable with many of those quaint phrases that seem to give others comfort. “I’m the mom of an Angel”, “My son deployed to Heaven”, “God needed another Angel”, or “God too gave his only son” not only give me no comfort, they often make me angry. Sometimes very angry, depending on who is offering these empty platitudes.
You should click over and read the rest.
Category: Reality Check
Jonn: The furnished link took me to FaceBook so I googled the Plainfield Patch, and I found a Mother’s Day story there by Denise Williams but it was not the one you quoted from.
I think this is the article.
http://plainfield.patch.com/blog_posts/flowers-from-strangers
Might want to have a tissue handy.
Yep, fixed the link, thanks Hondo and 2/17 Air Cav.
The gift of this link to the Plainfield Patch is very special. If you click on this Gold Star Mom’s byline, her previous articles appear. Scroll through and you will find a series regarding her only child, Andy, the soldier whose service turned her Blue Star to Gold. I marvel at the strength and faith of some people. Denise Williams is one of them.
Will have to read them later, but I will read them. Each and every one. It is the only way to share your grief, Denise.
As an only child myself, I can perhaps, sorta, kinda, in a way understand your perspective as mothers of multiple children and children with several siblings never can. I always felt an odd sense of obligation to my parents that others just did not seem to feel when they had siblings with whom to share the responsibilities. And my friends who were also “onlies” had the same outlook.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Denise. I cannot imagine the pain of seeing your only son buried. But I certainly can honor you for your sacrifice, second only to the that of your son. Thank you is all I can say – to both of you – knowing full well that you really would rather not have that thanks.
Denise, as another GSM my heart is yours is some ways. I am at a lost for the words. As a mother of 3 children 2 girls and son (KIA) you have given me more to try and be more aware of. I am so very sorry for your personal loss. I know a couple of others like you with only one child but didn’t take the time to think that through. I am truly sorry. I will however, be more mindful. Thank you not only for your son and sacrifice, but for who you are.
Forever Humbled
Mickey
Wow.