Part II: Wittgenfeldian Legal Logic: Epic Fail (nascent Criminal charges)

Another of Wittgenfeld’s favorite tactics is threatening criminal “procecution” which his VA Mental Health Counselor is alleged to tell him is a grand idea. Of course Wittgenfeld would first have to get Law Enforcement to pursue that, and they won’t. But let’s assume for a few moments that law enforcement in Indiana, West Virginia, Florida or anywhere else were to take Wittgenfeld’s phone call, and be all fired up about criminal charges based on any of the statutes that Wittgenfeld hurls out there like a monkey flinging excrement. Would any of those be valid?

Of course not. But let’s look at them anyway, because some folks don’t know the law, and might actually feel threatened enough not to comment etc.

For the remainder of this, I will be assuming that both comments from Wittgenfeld on this blog (which are all linked to his known IP address 184.90.245.118 from which he sends emails) and the postings on his blog with Arthur South (which contain the same faulty legal logic as each other) are all Wittgenfeld. It may be that South wrote some of the stuff on the blog, but we know they are in this conspiracy together because of the date/time stamps on the comments which mirror each other. For instance, in citing to law regarding harassment and cyber laws, both the blog and the comments cite to Virginia law (where no one lives) within minutes of each other, despite each separately noting that all states have virtually the same laws. That’s too random to be truly random.

A perfect illustration of the Lilliputian legal mind of Wittgenfeld is found in just this recent threat:

…………. ATTENTION ………….
HARASSED MILITARY VETERANS HEREON
If you are an honorable discharged military Veteran and being cyber/harassed or cyber/stalked and have been emotionally or financially affected by these actions of Mil/Kooks hereon know this:
[Legal stuff omitted for now]

DO NOT TAKE THE UNJUST HARASSMENT
COMPLAIN OFFICIALLY, LEGALLY, AND ARREST THEM
THE FIRST HARASSED VETERAN TO SUCCEED
WILL FREEZE THIS AND THE OTHER CONNECTING LINK BLOGS

Further, he alleges that part of this conspiracy includes his mental health practioner at the VA:

like how you dingleberrys try to poooo poooo the VA Medical Chief’s legal advise [sic]. That is funny because who ever goes down on here will be doomed by her legitamate [sic] findings, legal report, and recommendations to the procecuter [sic]. Done deal.
Yes your names and pictures identifying most of you are in her paper file too. She does have access to any VA Computer she wants… And she wants to see all of you in jail. Got that picture yet..?

Now, I don’t for a second think that the “VA Medical Chief” is actually engaged in giving out legal advice (or “advise” if you are Wittgenfeld) without a license, nor does she have access to my records, since that would violate HIPPA since I am not seeking medical advice (or advise for that matter) from the VA. Notwithstanding that, it is idiotic on a Brobdingnagian level to have asserted that. (Yes, “Lilliputian” and “Brobdingnagian” in one post, sue me for “harassment”.)

For more specific threats, I liked this comment:

Soooo, Hey Lilyea..? When the West Virginia State Police call you on that phone number….. Who will they be discussing your charges with..? Your wife. Your boyfriend. Maybe give me the right number… You too Scotty, we will have a conference call. It is possible for me to serve you all the paperwork myself. Personally. That’s how I like it…

Again, for some unexplainable reason, Wittgenfeld thinks he can do criminal charges by himself. Note that above he is telling people to “arrest” us, which would essentially be kidnapping, and here he is saying he is authorized to “serve [us] all the paperwork [himself].” To suggest such is to misinterpret how the legal system works to a degree that it makes me question his sanity. The only one authorized to do such a thing would be law enforcement, unless Dallas here thinks he has leave to do “citizens arrests” which would make him culpable for any number of legal remedies. But, if he wants to do something so neolithically idiotic, who am I to discourage him.

Lastly, he bolsters his argument with one of the more insane ramblings I’ve ever seen on the intertubes, a posting entitled: CYBER-STALKING: YES, IT IS A CRIME.

In that Magnum Opus to mental midgetry, the South/Wittgenfeld protagonist (here forward shortened to WittgenfeldSouthEtAl) claims that:

“Hunters/slayer” on Facebook and in independent blogs have been systematically growing ever more nasty in their actions. Falsely claiming 1st Amendment rights as their permissive adjunct to do what they do. In fact 1st Amendment rights are not involved one bit when doing what they do. It is illegal in all 50 states and on an international line as well. All of the states have similarly written statutes concerning Cyber-stalking. Definitions are equal and across the board totally illegal to not only practice but to be involved in, in any way.

Although individually everything written there is done so in English, the words together make no sense. Absent a Medium with some sort of Ouija board or some other means of divination, it is my sad task to try to unbundle it. He continues in this rambling manner for quite a while before taking the fight not only to your humble bloggers, but also commenters and readers of the blog:

This is basically a warning to those Cyber-stalkers who we have dealt with in the past, this is no longer some back and forth game to laugh and enjoy yourselves at others expense. We are in the process ( in conjunction with 3 lawsuits now in play) of filing charges against these criminals.

Once again Wittgenfeld cloaks himself in some invisible cloak of legal authority in claiming that he is in the process of “filing charges against these criminals.” No, he isn’t. Charges don’t come from private citizens, they come from prosecutors, grand juries etc. Unless he is now claiming to be part of some ridiculous “sovereign citizen” movement with ploys like those used by Code Pink to “arrest” Karl Rove, there is no such movement afoot. It’s just South, the incarcerated Ray Hall, Bob Golden and Chief Dunce Wittgenfeld of the Supreme Court of Imbecility spouting nonsense on the web again.

Now, remember where I said it was impossible to tell if the blogger here and Wittgenfeld are two different people or just the two minds of Wittgenfeld’s? (One mind is lost, the other is out looking for it.) Well, compare his inability on comments to tell the difference between “advice” and “advise” and read this bit of masturbatory legal fantasy:

Our advise [sic] ( take it or ignore it) is to remove your comments, unlike posts or comments related to this breach in the law; possibly even distancing yourself from those who are on the verge of facing criminal charges. Just a warning. It’s up to you to make the choice, personally we hope you ignore this warning and continue to associate yourself with those who will very shortly feel the long arm of the law.

This “long arm of the law” of which you speak, I do not think those words mean what you think those words mean. Further….

….And like we said, for those who have shown their approval by “liking” or “commenting” on such posts or blogs are complacent and co-conspirators in this crime. Do you REALLY want to do time for the actions of a few idiots? Do you REALLY want to have a criminal record that will follow you forever more?

OK, fine, you made me whip out my legal brain. WittgenfeldSouthEtAl keeps citing to Virginia law for a reason that only makes sense when you remember that no one citing to it would do so for any valid legal reason. As far as I know, no one involved lives in Virginia. Had a lawyer written this, he would have looked up the statutes in places that are actually involved, say Indiana, Florida or West Virginia.

To explain why that would be important, remember again that none of us live in Virginia. Now, he could say that part of the “crime” took place there, since I guess these posts exist as much in Virginia as they do anywhere else. So let’s assume you are a Police Officer in Shenandoah, and you get a phone call from a guy in Florida, complaining about posts made by people in other states…..why in the hell would you waste more than 2 seconds on it? You wouldn’t. You’d say call WV or IN. Or even Florida. No one in Virginia has even claimed to be harmed.

Anyway, in a host of idiotic comments and links, WittgenfeldSouthEtAl (it’s like ManBearPig only more dumberer) cites to “The National Conference of State Legislatures (NCSL) State Cyberstalking and Cyberharassment Laws” which are not actual statutory laws but guidelines, and to Virginia codes 18.2-152.7:1 (the sweetest smelling of all criminal codes) and 18.2-186.4. That in and of itself is odd; why those two specific codes? Because that was all he could Google. And those codes themselves are not even pertinent here.

Let’s start with the second one, 18.2-186.4. For those who don’t know codes, don’t get too absorbed in the numbers, but they are pertinent here. The first part, the “18.2” is the Virginia statutes on Crimes and Offenses. You can see this list HERE. The problem for WittgenfeldSouthEtAl is that the subsection that he cites to here is Chapter Six, crimes which involve Fraud.

But wait a minute, no one has alleged Fraud. Yeah, I know, which is why this is weapons-grade stupid. You see, 18.2-186.4 deals with fraud involving “False statements to obtain property or credit” generally, and the .4 of 186 deals with fraudulently identifying yourself as someone else with the intent to harass that third party. Again, that isn’t even alleged by WittgenfeldSouthEtAl to my knowledge. In order to violate that charge, one of us would have had to have claimed WittgenfeldSouthEtAl and threatened someone else.

Now I ask you, who in their right mind would impersonate “Thunder Chicken”? I only add in “right mind” because in order to be criminally culpable, you’d have to have the requisite “mens rea” or “guilty mind”, which wouldn’t likely be present in an insane person. That there knocks out half of Wittgenfeld’s criminal argument.

So what about 18.2-152.7:1? Are all of us about to become intimately familiar with this code as we languish for years in a Shenandoah Prison? (Which has listed in Fodor’s as a good alternative to higher end spa treatments out in Apple Country.) Unlikely.

You see, this is what that code says:

18.2-152.7:1. Harassment by computer; penalty.
If any person, with the intent to coerce, intimidate, or harass any person, shall use a computer or computer network to communicate obscene, vulgar, profane, lewd, lascivious, or indecent language, or make any suggestion or proposal of an obscene nature, or threaten any illegal or immoral act, he shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

Now, pretty clearly we aren’t going to fall under that either. You would have to meet two requirements, neither of which are met by anything we’ve ever written. Dallas Wittgenfeld is a limited public person for purposes of a discussion regarding Stolen Valor, as he himself has made himself one through various blog postings, comments on Michael Yon’s page, etc. By publically lamenting the existence of some sort of cabal of people out to get him, he started up his various blogs and websites (at last count I have 4 of them I am tracking) and injected himself into the discussion. Also bear in mind that he only came to our attention through news sources, which make him a public person anyway.

As for the second prong, to wit “communicat[ing] obscene, vulgar, profane, lewd, lascivious, or indecent language, or make any suggestion or proposal of an obscene nature, or threaten any illegal or immoral act.” That one is even shakier.

As an example of a case where this was alleged, I found this case of a man sending obscene emails to his wife. Bear in mind that Wittgenfeld has been prolific in his use of profanity and threats in both emails and comments, whereas this lady wanted to be left alone:

He [Barson] began sending emails to his [separated] wife, her family and friends. When he received replies from friends and family members, he forwarded them to his wife. His wife received 87 of these emails in the first 14 days of May 2009, and hundreds more during the next six months.

Barson’s emails contained language accusing his wife of having `sex with anonymous strangers’ on Craigslist, of having a `new hobby of soliciting sex on CL,’ of having `risky gutter sex,’ of `vacuum[ing] his baby to death’ and of being a `coke whore baby killing prostitute.’ He also accused her of engaging in sexual acts with identified men.

[Barson] admitted at trial that he was angry when he sent the emails and he intended to embarrass his wife, but he testified that his original motive in sending them was to compel her to respond to his telephone calls.

A bench trial initially found him guilty, and sentenced him to a $250 fine.

Now, have any of you been emailing Wittgenfeld on the sly to accuse him of having risky gutter sex with other men? Nah, I didn’t think so.

But, lest you be worried about your $250, it got overturned.

My point is this:
1) No court would waste their time;
2) If they did, it doesn’t meet the legal standard
3) The punishment is de minimis
4) WittgenfeldSouthEtAl can’t read the law
5) ½ of their cited laws don’t even address the facts.

So stop worrying, let WittgenfeldSouthEtAl throw around their threats, and let’s continue to do what the Supreme Court told us to do, try WittgenfeldSouthEtAl in the court of public opinion for their lies about military service.

You have nothing to fear but an inferior legal mind itself.

Category: Politics