2012 Ballduster McSoulpatch Tourney – Sunday Morning Edition

And then there was two.

Now, before you vote here, or after anyway, go and do a favor for TAH friend Cassy Chesser. In case you missed it yesterday at Blackfive, Laughing Wolf posted:

Cassy Chesser is a pundit, a Marine spouse, and mother. Right now, she is in a contest to get her son Wyatt, who has Downs Sydrome, on the cover of Carolina Coastal Parent magazine. If you are on Facebook, you can help. First, go like Carolina Coastal Parent magazine. Then, go vote for Wyatt’s photo. With your help, they can win.

The picture is absolutely precious, and unlike Diliberto and Sharkey who grew up to defame and steal from all of us, Wyatt will never do any of that. Cassy is a wonderful young lady, so if you could offset our bad karma for voting for the bigger of two douchenozzles by voting for a picture that shows innocent joy, I would be mucho appreciative.

Morning, just another day
Happy people pass my way
Looking in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized
How happy you made me, oh Sharkey
Well you came and you gave without taking
And I sent you away, oh Sharkey
And you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Sharkey

And now, the vote. After the fold is the bio in case you don’t already know who these guys are.

Top 10 Facts about each candidate:

SHARKEY:

1. Has Special Forces Sniper Tattoo on his right forearm, April Tattoo on his rightbicep and Satanic Pentagram with Vampyre Wings on his right Shoulder, Dragon Tattoo on his left forearm and Triple Moon Tattoo on his left bicep.

2. “If I was President when the US Navy Seals went after bin Laden, I would have lead the military operation. That’s the difference between a Combat Arms Veteran and a civilian. I know not only how to draw up a military attack, but, lead the attack to complete success.”

3. He stalked a young chick: She told police that “in a desperate attempt” to get him to leave her alone, she had e-mailed him that she was a member of an elite vampire hunter society and that continuing their relationship would put him in danger.”

4. Jonathon Sharkey – who also goes by the name Rocky Flash – was sentenced at Marion County Court to two years in prison after threatening to murder Judge David Certo and his family.”

5. But, no, he’s a wonderful guy….“In the same breath, all the good things I do for people, is because I want to… Not because a Bible, minister or Jesus tells me to. My good deeds are done from my heart.”

6. This explains his fetish for the fatties….”There are sanguinarian vampires, which are blood feeders, which I am. I only feed on female or like cow or pig blood. I prefer cow over pig,” he said.

7. Absolutely the worst Elvis impersonator to ever live. (Plus the interview sucks equally bad.)

8. If I had PACER, I would tell you about his lawsuit against the Governor of Indiana:

Appellees:	MITCH DANIELS, In his official capacity of Governor of the State of Indiana and GREG ZOELLER
Plaintiff – Appellant:	JONATHON SHARKEY, In his official capacity as King of the Vampyre Nation

9. Also likes to fake credentials: “Jonathon Sharkey said that he has a Ph.D. in Political Science from Southern Christian University in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Although there was (they’ve since changed their name) a Southern Christian University in Montgomery, Alabama, there’s never been one in Lake Charles.

10. Worst Actor EVER.

DILIBERTO:

1. Lists favorite quotes as passages from the Bible, and then this not-so-Biblical inspiration: “you dont wont to be dancing horizontally and getting rust on the tools when you could have used dong bags!!!” -Tom Skalkos.

2. While every Marine is an Infantryman, not every infantryman can peel potatoes while his men go into battle after he himself got out of it by engaging in improper acts.

3. Thinks that Afghanistan can be fixed by Iran, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan: “The Pakistani people have a vested interest in not destabilizing their own country, so they’ll help out,” he explained. “Iran is being plagued with the heroin trade, [so] they have a vested interest in securing their borders and destroying the poppy fields. Saudi Arabia … there’s not a country that loves their Islamic brothers more than them.”

4. Admitted what we knew already: “I want to tell u I have something in my head– but u both know it is empty…”

5. Claims to be a Conservative/Republican, then advocates that Ron Paul run as an independent candidate to ruin the Republican chances.

6. Blogging at the bastion of Conservative Republicanism, Russia Today, Jake Diliberto says President Obama cannot control the Pentagon, making him unfit for office.

7. His Linked-In profile sets out his vast military career: While performing US Marine duties in Operations Enduring Freedom (2001) and Iraqi Freedom 2003, I basic duties of Marines, in addition I performed security task forces, patrols, and continued training exercises, and basic Counter Insurgency Operations. While in Iraq, I worked with existing Police forces and trained them

8. His DD214 doth protest very much.

9. And from the “They Must Have Moved Tora Bora to Pheonix File”: Jake Diliberto knows what it’s like to be afraid and unsure of the future. The Marine served in Iraq and in the Tora Bora mountains of Afghanistan. He watched his best friend die from a bullet wound.

10. And he doesn’t even flinch as Larry King asserts he is an Iraq and Afghanistan vet, even though he knows full well that isn’t true:

Category: Politics