Justice Sotomayor Regional – Round Two
Quick Update: As of 1450 hours, the 1 v. 8 matchup is EXACTLY TIED. So if you have a favorite, start hitting your email to round up votes.
Support Defenders of Freedom: Lost in the debacle that was the Tim Poe affair is the fact that he actually did serve honorably in Afghanistan, and really was injured there. The stories after that were his and only his. But Defenders of Freedom should not bear the fault for Poe expanding on his record, and they won’t again. This week I will be honoring DoF, starting off with a meager $10 to help their mission. DoF sends support boxes to our men and women in uniform, support wounded Soldiers with emergency financial assistance, supports the families of wounded Soldiers and support the USO at DFW Airport (which helped at least one blogger get married.) So, I hope you will join me and give them a few dollars. Don’t let the fakers define who we are.
So, without further ado, here we go, which of these 8 will be the 4 to advance to the unSweet Sixteen?
1 Gregory John “Trident and trim” Schaffer v.
8 Mike “Goth Special Forces” Wilson
SCHAFFER: You might remember Schaffer from the classic “I contracted for sex with Bar Rafaeli and ended up with Betty White” debacle. Not that I’m in any way implying that dirty dirty Betty isn’t a monster in the sack, but probably less so than Schaffer’s current cellmate in prison. Which is good, because this dirtbag deserves every pounding the Queens can give him at Shawshank.
WILSON: I have to admit, I like this guy’s power move. He’s sort of saying “sure, I listen to cutter music (Morrissey, The Smiths) and wear eyeliner, but that doesn’t mean I can’t throw on an Army uniform with the tape on the wrong side.” Just a power move. Like taking a ham sandwich to a pig roast, or a date to the Playboy mansion. Dare I say it, I like the cut of this man’s jib! And his eyeliner by Mabeline.
5 Brian Leonard “T-Shirts and Tattoos make you a SEAL” Creekmur v.
4 Jackie Lee “What’s a forged DD214 between friends” Climer
CREEKMUR: I still find this guy’s look a bit unsettling, largely because I can’t decide if he looks like he just came out of a bottle and is here to grant me three wishes, or if his angry visage should emblazon a plastic bottle for some cleaning product. He started his SEAL thing to pick up a chick, and ended using it for other fraud, which is just another form of free speech, right?
CLIMER: Still an A-hole.
14 Daron “burned my 3 year olds butt” Soard v.
11 Robert “72 medals and a dump truck to carry them” Vaughn
SOARD: This guy is clearly a crowd favorite, but I don’t really get his story. POW Network links to his Facebook, which is still up. He still has some of the crap up there, like some dopey quote he attributes to his time at RTB. Which RTB says he was never at. He also apparently is not with his wife anymore, but is instead with some other chick who had pictures on Facebook with her with a black eye. I have no clue what is going on with this dude, but he seems like bad news.
VAUGHN: Soup Sandwich’s Great Uncle, Vaughn cracks me up every time I look at him. There’s so much going on in this picture I feel like I am having an epileptic seizure. I know it is a small detail, but I think what I like most is the green epaulette things that show he is in command. Apparently he’s not in command of any shaving implements. Then again, if I dressed like him, I’d hope I slipped and cut my throat with a Bic disposable.
7 Carl John “Hero of Every Pacific Battle of WWII” Pequignot v.
2 Jake “I rethunk whether I was in Astan” Diliberto
PEQUIGNOT: I actually called Pequignot last week to get his side of the story, and it was rather sad. “Grew up together, Two kids in the park, Carved our initials, Deep in the bark, Me and Alice. Now she walks through the door, With her head held high, Just for a moment, I caught her eye, As a big limousine pulled slowly Out of Alice’s drive. Oh, I don’t know why she’s leaving, Or where she’s gonna go, I guess she’s got her reasons, But I just don’t want to know, ‘Cos for twenty-four years I’ve been living next door to Alice.”
DILIBERTO: Who the F*** is Alice?
You and me ain’t nuthin but Mammals, so let’s vote like they do on the History Channel….
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Category: Politics
Discovery Channel; the lyric is Discovery Channel. On the History Channel, the way they do it is ALIENS! ALIENS!
Also Ghosts, but I changed because no one votes on the Discovery Channel.
Wilson, Climer, Vaughn, Dildoberto!
Schaffer – shitbaggery to the max.
Climer – horribly poor forgery of his DD214 (couldn’t even line up the obviously added items)
Vaughn – look at the coat!
Pequignot – breadth of his lies (never served in the Pacific, but was at a shitload of battles), massively poor fraudulent PH certificates, dirty cop after the war (did time)
I had to go with Wilson on this one based on the fact that he apparently doubled down on his whole “I miss my friends… so many died… I wish I could return to action but they gave me a new secret Goth identity but I still talk about it anyway… blah blah blah.”
And of course, DiLiberto is my choice here because I actually met this clown once and he lied right to my face about his faux service and experience. He’s a very smooth character, which is why I find guys like him more dangerous.
There are “all-around dirtbags who steal valor as a sideline,” and then there are the true “stolen valor dirtbags”…I give this one to Climer.
err, Climer, Vaughn, and Pequignot, with a sleepy vote for Schaeffer.
Hondo–got to agree with you on Pegquinot. This guy has been a lying theiving douchenozzle for better than half a century and that alone gets my vote.
Wilson–also gotta show props to my old ‘hood (Fountain Valley, baby!) Even though he probably got his ass kicked at FVHS or Los Amigos HS, whichever one he went to, assuming he’s even from FV at all…aw, fuck it. Goth Deathblossom FTW!
I seem to be fixated on that dislocated thumb salute deal that Wilson has going for himself. It cracks me up!
This one was especially tough because I had previously voted for each and every one. So mostly I voted for the old guys. Sort of. Well, about half the time.
Soard needs a truck parked on top of him. Preferably one ton or better.
Soard is a douche. These fucking guys never reailize that everything comes full circle.
One day it always catches up with you.
Wilson, Climer, Vaughn, Pegquinot!
Pequinot is a worthy opponent to Didoberto but the fact that Dildoberto is in the public eye led me to vote for him.
[…] have the Justice Sotomayor Regional is up over at This Ain’t Hell… so go vote and fast before it […]
Wilson–eyeliner to accentuate beady little eyes $5, mustache trimmer for the perfect douche look $15, complete asshattery in the face of reality-priceless
Creepmur — Tough guy photo and lies to impress chicks and hiding in his truck to avoid the truth…what a tough guy indeed…just what we need a few more 300 lb cowards running around loose…
Soard — Whoever harms one of these little ones that believes in me, it would be better for him if a millstone where tied around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the ocean.
Soard should burn in hell after suffering miserably for the rest of his pathetic life…
Pigwhinot…”I’m an old man, I’m pretty sure I fought in all these battles…or not…” Pathetic old turd…
Schaffer, Climer, Vaughn, Dilberto…..
Nooooo…Wilson and Schafer in the same vote? They are both so deserving!!!
That one is going to be a hard one. My mind says Schafer but my gut says Wilson.
Didloberto is gonna sweep this baby! Nothing like national television exsposure to warm the heart. Go DB Go!!
Two old farts, Mr. Unclean and the Faux Navyguy.
brother that sotomayor (whatever her name is) is just brutal. You gotta give a guy a warning!
For those wondering…..there are almost 200 votes on this so far, and Schaffer Wilson is EXACTLY tied.
damn, couldnt use my Unified Theory this time…except for Creekmur 😉
To each his own – but I gotta ask, USMC CWO5: why Dildo-berto over PigQueegD’Oh? I understand wanting to nail a shithead from your own service due to his conduct being an insult to the USMC. In terms of shitbaggery, PigQueegD’Oh’s in another league altogether. He claimed to have fought nearly everywhere in the Pacific, sustained his bogus stories for five decades, claimed to have been a POW, claimed a Silver Star and 2 Purple Hearts, was a crappy forger, and did time after the war for being a dirty cop to boot – all while apparently never deploying overseas until after World War II ended!
Re: Schaffer-Wilson is EXACTLY tied. Chicago rules need to come into play both of these must go forward. A Wittgenfeld-Schaffer-Wilson finale is a must.
200 votes in, and it is 101-99
Dang…where Holder? I want to vote twice and cannot. Next you’ll want an ID.
I am so damned depressed from my losses of my molestaches and politician…maybe soupies grandpapy can bring up my spirits…
[…] your last votes in…. July 26th, 2012 Have about 2 hours left on voting in the Sotomayor regional, so if you want to vote, now is the time to do it. I only bring it up because in the […]
Did I miss the results, or did we end up with a “dead heat” in one or more of these?