That Call of Duty/MEPS Ranger
Yeah, I’m probably inviting another visit from CID but this is just too funny to keep to myself. It just fell out of the sky while I was on a smoke break. But you remember Jeremy Gumeringer from the video at the MEPS station the other day right? The guy who has done everything that we’ve done on Call of Duty in real life? I’ll bet there’s nothing on Call of Duty related to players pushing themselves away from the dinner table, in that case.
ADDED: The little bird who dropped the ORB from the sky got nervous about the ORB, so I removed it. But you can still point and laugh at the photo, I guess.
I hope he wasn’t hoping to get promoted with that picture.
Category: Military issues
The sad thing is that he did get promoted with that picture, Jonn. That’s his 1LT official photo.
Yeah, I noticed that after I posted the picture. But, how bad do you have to be to get passed over for CPT? Oh, yeah, ask Dan Choi.
You have a point, Jonn – an officer pretty much has to have serious derogatory info in his/her file not to make O3. But I’ve seen a few do it. And I even saw 1 guy who managed not to make 1LT.
Yeah and he doesn’t have three years TIG as an O-3 so I don’t think he is even eligible for O-4 yet.
I’m not sure about the regulars, but I had to get a new DA photo made in very old class A’s that I barely stuffed myself into earlier this year because 1) I was applying for a WTU slot that required a current DA photo (got promoted just before my most recent deployment last year so my last photo wouldn’t work) and 2) we haven’t been issued ASUs yet and won’t be for another year or so.
I’m probably not getting promoted again, but I can only hope the board will take factors like that into account when they look at our packets.
And, for what it’s worth: AR 600-9 seems to authorize him a max weight of 200 lbs as of his last birthday in Jan, when he turned 28. He must be really “big boned” and heavily muscled to meet body fat standards while 31 lbs over his screening weight.
I’ve seen fatter make Captain; you really do have to just about commit a felony to not get selected.
Can we re-post this with some of his personal information redacted such as birthdate and martial status? I’d hate for him to be a victim of identity theft.
According to 600-9, at his age, at 72 inches, he is 31 pounds over the maximum!! Just saying. He’s 28 pounds over maximum for someone of that height and 40+ years of age!
When I used to do training for my unit before I retired…I had many folks who had not yet deployed. Later, when they were doing training, they’d use “there I was stories” that I had told….acting like it was their story.
After one or two classes, I talk to the “never gone anywhere” person and suggested that they make it clear that they “were not there”, but this is “what they had heard”.
oh, yeah, when CID comes to interview you, don’t answer the questions, go off on some tangent and make them forget what they came for. I’ve found most of them have no idea how to interview anybody.
How the hell did his ORB become public knowledge? ORB is NOT a DD-214 (which he wouldnt have anyway).
As an infantryman, I’m not an expert on the Armor branch or those things that they call “troops” but I think that I can come close to doing the conversions. It looks like he went from PL as a 2LT to Asst S3 as a 1LT where he was promoted to CPT and then moved to a troop XO slot (in the Infantry, that’s a 1LT slot, and I’m going to assume that it’s the same in a troop). That alone speaks volumes. Then, off to school and, what should have been, presumably, command. But, he ends up at MEPS. It also looks like he wasn’t flagged for weight in Afghanistan because he still got his BSM.
I’m guessing that he screwed the BDE commander’s daughter as the assistant S3 and has an OER that will kill him. Without a company command in the next year or two, he’ll be passed over for MAJ and he’ll be done.
I’ll gloss over the out of date DA photo and the fact that he is far more out of shape than I am, also both killers at a DA promotion board.
Like I said before, a combat arms captain at a MEPS and away from other combat arms soldiers speaks volumes, even more than those stupid damn spurs.
XO Slot in Armor is a 1LT. as well…
If he’s 230, I’m 160, tops.
Asst S-3 as 1LT smells like a Special Projects Officer. As in special olympics special.
Wow. Just wow. I suddenly feel better about myself. I’ve been trying to cut back and shape up some in hopes to get back in IDPA competition again. I’ve been cycling some and lifting some and hoping to drop some whale blubber so I don’t feel like a complete goof during half of the IDPA drills where movement to cover is important. I haven’t shot in competition in a few years and I’ve allowed a lot of soft mission creep around my mid section. But this guy makes me look like Brad Pitt. Don’t they still do PT in the army? WTF?!
Timing is everything for officer promotions. I survived what came to be called bloody Tuesday. It was after Desert Storm when all the politicians were claiming a big “peace dividend”. On a Tuesday morning the Captain promotion list was released. It was devestating; only a 79% selection rate! Compare that to a couple of years ago when my daughter made Captain with a selection rate of 98%.
The fact that Tubby is in Recruiting Command prior to a branch qualifying job is very telling.
Oh and I doubt you will get a visit from CID. This clown is just fat POS not a protected species such as murderous Muslim Jihadi
The catch phrase for the upcoming night of the long knives is “don’t give them a reason to RIF you.” It looks like the good captain didn’t get the memo.
I told my son who’s considering a career in the USMC about this clown. When I got to the part about having done everything the kids have seen in Call of Duty, son asked if that included operating the 105mm in an AC-130 and deploying a tactical nuke.
Maybe his whole presence there is a clever ploy to test the recruits’ discipline. It’s pretty surprising that none of them fell out laughing.
HOLY CRAP- He’s bigger than I am and I’m 53 and have been out for 28 years!
National Defense Service Medal
Global War on Terror Service Medal
Army Service Ribbon
Whoa! he’s a regular Audie Murphy wit dat rack. And the look on his face, like he’s eyeing the last cannoli in the break room.
I wish this guy had been at the MEPS in Atlanta. There’s a guy there who actually served with the 2nd Ranger Bn and the last time I was there he went on a mini rant about fat people in uniform when he was handing out packets in the morning. He would have kicked this guys ass if he didn’t have a stroke first.
What a fucking Hoser! Seriously, one row of ribbons and no CAB? Fuck him! I kinda want to see his reaction if I saluted him and said “Sniper check, Sir!”
Jonn, I’ll be more than run interference for ya with CID. Roller Dude? Were you dealing with a civilian 1811 by any chance? Just asking…
Jonn pulled his ORB. If I recall it listed a CAB, a BSM, and either an ACOM or AAM. The POS just opted not to follow regs and have his DA photo updated in almost two years. Just another message to the board that he has no interest in being a field grade.
The video itself should be a career killer. Recruiting command should use it as how NOT to talk to recruits. Height weight standards should also be enforced and flag this whale out of the Army.
FYI to some: MEPS isn’t Recruiting Command and vice versa. Non-AG branch MEPS OPSO jobs are typically reserved for CPTs who have already completed KD time (see DA PAM 600-3) and need some “take a knee” time post-deployment and prior to the MAJ board.
There have been several pseudo-Marines who have been outed here and elsewhere, who were big enough to need Omar the Tentmaker to create their uniforms. Maybe ol’ Omar does Army uniforms too?
I have been sitting on this for awhile; I wanted to make sure that was really him (granted it is hard to forget a name like Gumeringer). I went to Arizona State University Army ROTC with this guy, he was 2 years ahead of me, if memory serves, I remember him being ok for a cadet, only strong memory of him is when he told me to go to the corner and beat my face because he was tired of dealing with me. Now that I think about it he really wasn’t that awesome of a cadet.
#28. Bem. Would you translate some terms you used for an old soldier (’63-’83)? I mean this in the kindest of ways.
–OPSO
–KD time (see DA PAM 600-3)
–“take a knee” time post-deployment
Thanks! Steve
Fuckin war god
This was worth a lot of laughs today at Fort Benning. Just sayin’…and keep up the good work!
I know a few guys that deployed with him (8-1 Cav). Seems he hit them up last month for sworn statements stating that he got hurt in country.. I guess he is trying to weasel a PH. Dirtbag.
There must be some senior NCO’s let alone some Officers that are in his unit which will not let this turd get away with what he is planning?
He’s not a Captain; more like a zero-3 as we used to say in the Marine Corps. His career has to be over since this BS is in the public domain.
Just goes to show that just because you served in a combat zone does not mean you automatically deserve respect.
@24, So your judgement of him is based on the fact he has no CAB? hmmm so let me ask you a question. would you prefer officers go out looking for CABs? If you don’t take hostile fire you don’t take hostile fire, thats the luck of the draw (damn good luck) even in a combat arms unit. Not knowing his ORB, i have no way of knowing this but what if he was XO or an AS3 when deployed and as such had a job that kept him on the FOB almost all the time, not his fault, nor is that anything to be ashamed of that was his job given to him by his command. now, the lack of updating his DA photo is a problem, but is reflective of nothing more then a lack of interest in his own professional career development, bad from a development point of view but nothing that makes him automatically a bad officer, hell most officers i know including the real superstars don’t update their DA photos except at board time. also the eye thing, thats a DA photo thing, i had to take mine nine or ten times before my eyes looked normal, no idea why. Obviously, he is fat and that a big problem, however looking at the photo it is possible he is passing tape. several of my soldiers look like that but pass tape because of how big their necks are. not saying he is or isn’t but he might be passing. if he is passing, then he is passing as i am told all the time when i try to chapter soldiers for being fat. he meets the standard. lastly for assignments, its quite possible that the reason he ended up with his XO time and AS3 time backwards was due to personnel issues at his unit. for example i am not going to get any XO time due to a deployment, i will be going straight from PL to AS something. and will be an AS something as a 1LT. So strange jobs don’t necessarily mean… Read more »
Red Leg Jo:
Dude, I’ve said and done lots of stupid shit, but never claimed to be a war hero. As a Drill Instructor from 1993 to 1995 had to motivate recruits, but not like this zero.
@31: OPSO=Operations Officer. KD=Key Developmental, i.e., the jobs one needs to hold at each grade to be qualified, ready, and competitive for the next grade. Take a knee=phrase taken from lane training AARs used to mean a low stress assignment or a course like ILE or Captains Career Course. In other words, you may do some work, but you should be able to maximize family time.
@37: In the original ORB posted, it showed he did have a CAB.
Thanks Bem. Same expressions except we’d just say “3” instead of OPSO and KD was “ticket punching”.
From the Brad Pailsey song “So much cooler on line” – He’s the one who went to L.A. and played Tuba in the Rose Parade..
subbie (@34) – I hate to defend the guy, because I think he’s a real jackass. But he may legitimately rate a PH if the MRAP rollover during which he got his knee injury was due to enemy action.
The PH is the only decoration to which one has an entitlement (see AR 600-8-22, para 1-15c). The rules are pretty much cut-and-dried: if the wound or injury is (1) the result of enemy action, and (2) requires medical treatment afterwards, you qualify for the Purple Heart. Period. And one example given in the Army reg of a qualifying injury is injuries sustained during a vehicle accident caused by enemy action – see AR 600-8-22, para 2-8f(4).
@38 There is no doubt that what he said was wrong and indefensible. What i was concerned about is the taking that incident and using it to attack everything about him as an officer and soldier when as far as i could tell it was not justified.
@40: I didn’t get a chance to see the ORB before it was pulled, but my point on earning a CAB still stands particularly for PLs. nothing is worse then a PL with a glory complex. we had one in my BN and it was awful. You should wear a CAB with pride like any other badge and decoration and having one does mean something but not having one does not necessarily mean anything.
@37 Red Leg JO – all your points are valid, but riddle me this: If I’m a 1LT armor officer serving as a BN AS3 and am promoted there to CPT, what should be my next duty assignment before deploying to Afghanistan? My guess is not a troop XO in the same battalion. His BN commander had the opportunity to make some very direct observations while he was in the ops shop, and those observations led the commander to make the new captain a troop XO during a combat deployment, where he would be supervised by another captain, shielded from soldiers by the 1SG, and his ORB would be dinged with an overgrade assignment. Take from it what you want, but my guess is that the guy was 8 ways of soupy in front of the staff, the BN commander lost confidence, and that was the beginning of the end. I’d love to dig up his old commander and get it right from the horse’s mouth.
Red Leg JO: most of us here have done stupid stuff. But one thing folks at this site don’t take kindly to is embellished claims regarding military service. That’s precisely what this guy is doing – verbally – in order to impress those inductees while they are naive and impressionable.
When these young inductees find or figure out they’ve been lied to by this guy, they’ll start assuming that their chains-of-command lie routinely. Even if their military supervisors are all honorable and truthful men/women, they’ll still have that nagging little question in the back of their minds. They’ll always wonder, “Is the SGT/LT/1SG/CPT bullshitting us like that guy at MEPS did?”
It’s the same thing that false claims of having a PH or decoration for valor, or SEAL or SF or Ranger qualification, does among civilians. See or hear about a few of those, and you start questioning everyone’s claims.
And that’s the reason why most here have come down on this guy like a ton of bricks.
@41: A MEPS doesn’t have S shops; hence, there is no S-3 or Assistant S-3. There is an OPSO and AOPSO, with one of them filling the title of XO even though XO isn’t actually on the TDA.
@37: Isn’t there something in the Army Values about integrity? If he gave this obviously rehearsed speech, it means it wasn’t the first time. I don’t think he said anything that was true. As has been pointed out, his unit didn’t lose anyone, he’s never sent LT’s home without limbs, he’s never dropped bombs on Tora Bora, he’s not Airborne, he’s not Air Assault, never been shot or shot at, etc. He also began his speech by saying it was a “sick joke” to be assigned to MEPS and that he was still “getting a paycheck, so it’s all good.” One oh crap ruins 1000 atta-boys, and if this officer worked for me he would be relieved. Period. If I can’t trust him to do the right thing when I’m not looking, I don’t need him. How does one know if anything he ever says is true? Some have been accused of throwing this guy under the bus, but in reality he’s the one who was driving it.