When is a Head NOT a Head?

| November 17, 2011

Answer: When it is just a metal room with curious seating arrangements.

This story just cries out for bad puns, but I’ll try to stick to the facts.
Toilet Troubles Add to Sailors’ Deployment Stress

It may seem like a trivial inconvenience in the scheme of things, but it’s become routine enough that some sailors aboard the Norfolk-based aircraft carrier George H.W. Bush say it’s affecting their morale, their health and their job performance: Since the ship left for its maiden combat deployment in May, its toilet system has suffered outages so frequently that crew members sometimes can’t find a single working commode.

I’ve served on ships that ran out of fresh water, or been dead in the water, but never lacked for a place to take a dump.

The problem lies with the vacuum system that pulls waste through the ship’s 250 miles of pipe. The Bush is the first aircraft carrier to be outfitted with a vacuum system, similar to those on commercial airplanes and cruise ships.

So we have a systems that sucks because it doesn’t suck?

Too many questions.  It seems someone got in trouble for taking a leak over the side? I reckon taking dump over the rail would be a hanging offense?

Category: Geezer Alert!, Navy

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UpNorth

Bet it’s the new “Green” toilet system. Maybe it’s powered with solar panels?

OldSoldier54

I wonder which Congressho(s) got bought off so the clearly incompetent bozos who installed the system could get the contract?

FOMSG

Sounds like the Good Idea Fairy strikes again.

Thor

It makes me wonder why the Navy would attempt to fix something that wasn’t broken ? Out of all of the ships I’ve been on, I, too, have never needed to worry about the facilities. Why would they change something that generally ALWAYS worked? Welcome to the New Navy, I guess…..

Right Rev Mr. Wolf

Hmm…seems to me the Chiefs found a way to put a new design into a ship..

Instead of crap flowing down into the bottom of the ship, it gets sucked up into Officer Country now? New holding tanks up next to Captains Quarters?

Or does the Mess Deck have a new delivery system?

nucsnipe

On my ship the crappers didn’t work because lazy assclowns used them as trash disposals HTs would be pulling soda cans clothing and on one occasion about a dozen oranges out of the piping.

Jack

Most of the civilan boats Ive been on have sea toilets that you have to pull a handle much like on a one arm bandit slot machine. Cant go to vegas to gamble with out needing to hit the head every five minutes for about the first 2 days just by seeing them.

Chris H.

RR Wolf, in the cruisers I served on, that was already in the CHT design. I’ve forgotten which hull, but when the HTs would use the firehose to do a blow down on C/S or OPS heads, the backflow would usually end up in O-country.

For the life of me, i cannot understand why the Navy chose to abandon a tried and true CHT system for some Rube Goldberg nightmare like this.

AW1 Tim

Anyone want to put forth the suggestion that perhaps that vacuum system might be getting clogged due to too many feminine products being flushed instead of disposed of properly?

Another unintended consequence of adding wombyn to ships. 🙂

JustPlainJason

Just a shovel grunt thinking outside the box, can’t you just use the side of the boat? Two man buddy shit, man 1 secure man 2’s hands while man 2 shits over the side. Problem solved, problem staying solved…

DaveO

Somewhere, there’s an admiral discussing the problem with his yeoman adn asking “Dyson? Who the f*ck is Dyson?”

509th Bob

Just bring back the sailing era practice of the Poop Deck!

streetsweeper

You, US Navy! Execute Plan B, C and D….bolt “Johnnie on The Spots” to the decks, call in a service boat once a week to clean the portapotties. Problem solved!

teddy996

Using seawater for the toilets always made too much sense anyways. This suction system is way better, because it will keep shipyard workers employed fixing it. Solidarity!

JustPlainJason

Hell cut 50gal drums in half and have turd burning details… Army guys are full of suggestions.

2-17 AirCav

Just shit on the deck and wait for a big wave. Or you can pile it all up on the deck and turn the ass end of one of those fixed-winged things to it. It’s a vacuum problem. First, see if the roller is turning. If it’s not, it’s the belt. Replace it.

Chris H.

Well, for the fallback plan, always remember, leeward not windward.

2-17 AirCav

No one has mentioned the poop deck. I don’t know why. I have no idea what a poop deck is or what its used for but, again, since no one has mentioned it, I’m guessing it’s not for pooping.

AW1 Tim

No it’s not. The term “Head” comes from earlier days of sailing ships, when the toilets were at the head of the ship. They were built over the bow so that wave action would cleanse the ship and remove the stains, etc.

2-17 AirCav

I know what a head is. And it looks like the the suggestion of shitting on the deck and waiting for a big wave wasn’t too far off naval history. But it’s that poop deck thing I’m in the dark about. But that’s okay. I’m still chucking over yesterday’s “Go Amry. Beat Nvay.” comment.

DaveO

OH NOEZ! Kellogg Brown & Root to the rescue !!!

JustPlainJason

Why don’t you guys just dig a trench and use that…oh wait… He said poop deck.

malclave

I reckon taking dump over the rail would be a hanging offense?

I don’t know about hanging… but the perpetrator might be mistaken for an OWSer and charged with participating in a political protest while (mostly) in uniform.

#OccupyUSSGHWB

NHSparky

Jesus, I wonder what they’d do if they had to blow sanitaries like they did on the boats. Nothing like ignoring a sign, opening the ball valve, and getting a face full of your own shit.

CI Roller Dude

I was in the Army, so I don’t know…but can’t the sailor just pee over the side, or use the buddy system and hang their ass over with a buddy hanging on??? Funny, the contractor can make it run on nuke power, but can’t get a toilet to work…one simple tech turned into a nightmare.

The Dead Man

Just wait until Star Trek doors are installed instead of door handles. It’ll be like that Storm Trooper in the first Star Wars on a long term basis.

Doc Bailey

maybe the female sailors shouldn’t shave their bush on the Bush. . . too much?

Spigot

Hmmmm….they (vacuum system crappers) work just fine on cruise ships…why don’t they work on a man of war?

509th Bob

2-17 Air Cav, I mentioned the Poop Deck. It was a specific ship deck with wooden seats that sat out the side of the ship, like an outhouse without the walls or overhead cover. The crew crapped into the sea.