Rum, Sodomy and the Bit
As most of you know, I am leaving for Montana on Thursday morning to spend 4 days in the wilderness with Blackfive as we drive horses through Three Forks. We’ll be checking out the camp for the Heroes and Horses program.
Anyway, I think in honor of my trip, I would give the top 10 things I really hope not to hear from Matt or myself on this trip:
10) You think the gay cowboys have any more pudding?
9) A rattlesnake bit my ass, suck out the poison!
8 ) I think the chaps go outside your jeans.
7) If we reenact the fire scene from Blazing Saddles tonight, try not to shard yourself again.
6) No, you are supposed to mount the horse, not the other way around.
5) Heh, look at that, your horse is also hung like an Irishman.
4) Look on the bright side, you can play Christopher Reeves in the made for TV movie now.
3) [In Han Solo voice]: And I thought they smelled bad on the outside
2) Damn, ran out of toilet paper and I’m down to one sock.
1) I wish I knew how you quit you, saddle horn in my anus.
Category: Politics
Only TSO would even ask these questions.
Both of them will be wearing pointed toed shoes and playing with REAL men.
RE: #4: TSO simply won’t be that lucky. He’ll fall off the horse more than once and THEN claim to be Superman or something akin.
Seriously: This is a good thing. I just dunno if TSO should be the TAH representative while on horseback?
Make sure you compose a few great lines of cowboy poetry!
Hey TSO! Behave yourself or I’ll call the Gallintin County sheriff and report you as a horse thief…..I do know him! 😉
Hahaha! Tell the Mantles “Hey” (I’m a old cow poke from the area) have fun, be safe and stay away out of the river…
I pity the horses.
SS- You know the Mantles? I love them, honestly, just the greatest people. The abuse that Kail and I were heaping on each other was awesome.
TSO: Don’t shoot a Jackalope. They are out of season.
Is your bride in good hands? I could go up there and protect her from unsavory sorts while you are gone. hehehehe
A little traveling music
“Montana” by Frank Zappa (extended version)
“I might be moving to Montana soon. Just to raise me a crop of…dental floss.”
http://youtu.be/smZA9Jv3qH0
YIPPIE-AYE-OH-TAI-YAY-MUTHA-F#(<A!!!! 😀
15. I like to sleep with my hands between two pillows…
14. The chaps are assless because you are supposed to wear PANTS, jackass!
13. I said ring the bell, not RING MY BELL!
12. Where’s the icy/hot? Rub it on my back, would you?
11. My horse is named “Al Capony?” Really???
12. You sure have a purtee mouth…
#5- TSO? This is the only time your life you are hereby authorized to utter the singular word “Bayers”. The Mantles know it well and they are excellent people. I will deal with any heat coming down the trail. He was and still is my boss man….8)
That is a fact, Jack! The sunglass’s thangy ain’t werking fer me…Tell JH he betta behave too….
Whatcha wanna know about herding cattle up in to the Ruby? *grin*
Is anyone going to be video taping the shenanigans? If not then someone needs to (Minus the brokeback stuff of course).
Good suggestion, gschmit! ROFL!
The shenanigans will, in fact, be recorded…
One bear asks the other “What’d you have for supper?
The other bear, using a toothpick “I dunno, said he was the paratrooper of love.”
“Paratrooper, huh. He’d’a made it if the other one hadn’t tripped him.”
< Cain't wait to see RW being *dumb*!Love ya bro…DaveO? Yer a bad critter, ROFL!
ROFL! Love ya like a lil bro, RW! Oh wait, you are a lil bro…neva mind…
TSO? You are one luvable critter! I don”t care whut Lilyea said ’boutcha….LOL!
“Somebody’s gotta go back to camp and get a shitload of dimes!”
Claymore +10 for the win…
[…] however, I can ride. TSO? Not so much. Hilarity (from both of us) is bound to ensue. TSO has a humorous look at what might happen on this […]