Army; Stetson to replace beret
OK, the only reason I’d be for this is to stick a finger in Shinseki’s eye;
In a fingertip-to-the-brim nod to its American frontier history, the Army is changing hats again – returning to the tumultuous days of the horse Cavalry in the wild west and adopting a dark blue Stetson as the official headgear for the current force of 1.1 million Soldiers.
“We figure the Stetson will be popular with the troops,” said Sgt. Maj. Bob S. Stone, Army Uniform Board headgear task force president. “It’s been a while since we have changed the headgear, so it’s time. Plus a Stetson is functional and down right American.”
“Why in the heck are they doing to us what they did to the snake-eaters?” asked one officer familiar with the board’s deliberations. “If you ain’t Cav, you ain’t ought to be wearing a Cav hat. That just ain’t right.”
But the sheer functionality of the wide-brimmed American-classic Stetson won over the majority of the board.
“You can keep the sun out of your eyes, the hat won’t melt to your head on a sunny day, and female Soldiers can tuck long hair under a Stetson a lot easier than with the current beret,” says Stone. “Plus we’ve already gone back to blue jackets for the service dress uniform. The Stetson actually completes the look.”
Mandatory wear date? Oh, a year from now…On April Fool’s Day. Who says the Army doesn’t have a sense of humor?
Thanks to Just Plain Jason for the link.
Category: Military issues
If Shinseki had gone to a Garth Brooks concert instead of a formation of the 75th RR, we would have had this instead of the berets.
See I have a theory on that, Bobo. Shinseki was a field grade on Sheridan Kaserne in Augsburg when the 1st/75th was there for REFORGER in ’75. Back then, tankers wore black berets and they got their asses beat in the club. Every. Night.
I think taking the black beret from Rangers was pay back for that month of ass-whoopin’s.
If you look through the photos they have a picture of the stetson made for K9 troops.
This is an April Fool’s joke, right?
April Fools!
Toward the end of the story, there’s discussion of replacing combat boots with cowboy boots.
Stetsons make too much sense.
I keep forgetting it’s the 1st.
Stetsons would kind of cool if it weren’t already a Cav thing. The one advantage it has is it’s harder to look like a shitbag in a stetson than a beret. If I had a dime for dime for every fat Army dude I’ve seen in cammies (excuse me ACUs) that look like pajamas and a beret that looked like a deflated whoopee cushion…
I about had a heart attack when I saw this. Then when I saw the pictures and the date when it would take into affect. If they wanted to make it better they should of said Airborne Guys get maroon stetsons, Rangers tan and SF Green ones
DirtyMick, then they’d have to change the song:
Fighting soldiers from the sky
Fearless men who jump and die
Men who say hell with tradition
The brave men of the Green Stetson
Silver wings upon their chest
These are men, America’s best
One hundred men will carry on
But only three win the Green Stetson
Trained to live off nature’s land
Trained in combat, hand-to-hand
Men who fight when there’s no sun
Courage peak from the Green Stetson
Silver wings upon their chest
These are men, America’s best
One hundred men will carry on
But only three win the Green Stetson
Back at home a young wife waits
Her Green Beret has met his fate
He has died for those oppressed
Leaving her his last request
Put silver wings on my son’s chest
Make him one of America’s best
He’ll be a man they’ll that needs no gun
Have him win the Green Stetson
Oops, remove “they’ll” from the last verse. Also, thanks to Barry Sadler for (most of) the lyrics, I still have my dad’s old 45 rpm single somewhere around here.
@ 8 – Purdy damn good for recruiter, lol!
Oh, there were several other uses for the Stetson besides head gear. Take a shot at it.
I’ve not been happy with the Army since they got rid of the most coveted patch me and my brothers loved the most….THE GLIDER PATCH. So, when the 82nd went Maroon…(Brits/Frogs), only the 101st could still wear them. Then the “black beret”….now, one of the coolest parts of Airborne heritage disappeared forever. SHAME ON THE ARMY!
Still a Cuntcap Paratrooper!
Honor and Courage
Oh, sorry…I’m not “denigrating” anyone’s service by saying this…am I?
Honor and Courage
#12,
I still need to sew mine on. When I reported to 3rd Brigade 101st in 2002 it was still SOP to have the Glider patch sewn on the garrison cap despite the fact that the beret was mandated headgear. Somehow I managed to avoid mine being noticed during inspections.
Honestly, I hate the damn head sock so much I actually wanted this to be true! I don’t want to steal from the Cav any more than I wanted the black beret ripped from the Rangers (Hell, at the time I was a Jarhead and I STILL thought it was a raw deal), but is it too much to ask for a hat with a brim that keeps the sun/rain out of my eyes and doesn’t make me burn like a Christmas turkey?
Here’s A truth: Taken a year or so ago.
FM…sew it on! (don’t forget the silver dollar) A few years ago I found a place in Arizona that made decals. The Glider Patch was one of them. Got one for each of my buddies to put on their vehicles.
Another buddy in the Military Order of the Purple Heart was a Rakkasan in Vietnam and a Green Beret Col. after Vietnam. We both put our Glider Patch’s on our MOPH Cuntcaps. (pisscutter to you Jar Heads)
His is just on the other side of his hat then mine.
On the Jump School Certificates do they still show the Glider Patch or did they get rid of it there also?
Honor and Courage
Could be worse… could be a blue helmet as standard headgear,
Berets. What a barrowful of suck. US Army should go back to the garrison hat or even the old bummer. Anything other than the waffle eater.
I had a good laugh forwarding the army.mil page about this to my CoC. Our Armor CPT was pretty upset for a min. What made this a good prank is that most people believed it was possible. First the black beret. Then ACUs, tan stetsons and tan jump boots. And now we have GRAY ACU color jump boots and tanker boots. What’s next?
The surest way to have practical joke to succeed is for it to be believable to start with. It doesn’t say much when we see the headline and almost fall for it because we can see some politician or Power Point ranger actually making such a decision. With the Shinseki example to use it made it all the more plausible.
I served a stint in the 1st Cav but never wore the Stetson, back then it was a special honor reserved for certain individuals and you couldn’t just go out buy one. I think all the guys in the aviation brigade had one but otherwise they were few and far between. I have been tempted to get one in the past but holding to the tradition that I didn’t earn it by the standards of the time I haven’t. Sort of the opposite of all these stolen valor folks but I can’t expect people to understand that. In a 22 year career I served in a lot of units but if I didn’t the special recognition for a certain award or distinctive adornment I am not about to go out and retroactively buy it just to give me some sort of fashion accessory. Nothing against all the guys I see wearing the Stetson nowadays, I assume the standards changed so more power to them.
Who knows maybe next year they will propose Hello Kitty ACU’s for the females. And those who joined since the repeal of Clinton’s DADT policy.
#19,
Headgear does not make the Army. We’ve long adopted uniforms and headgear popularized by other powerful nations (in the case of the black beret, elite forces). Just look at the Civil War era kepi (French) or the earlier, and entirely impractical, shako (European origin). Even the Pickelhaube (spiked helmet) was used in ceremonial uniforms to some extent in the late-1800s.
I think that we should switch over to the Scottish Tam…
HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT THE NEXT LITTLE FEMINIST ARMY UNIFORM DETAIL, THEY ACTUALLY START BETTING THE TRAINING FOR SOLDIERS. WWIII IS ON THE BRINK AND OUR MILITARY (AS MUCH AS I RESPECT THEM) ARE TOO SOFT TO BE THE STONE COLD KILLERS WE NEED ON THE BATTLE FIELD.
#25,
You haven’t seen my boys and me after a long night of drinkin’ and wrasslin’.
Seriously, though, the Army is making strides with the Modern Army Combatives Program (despite my opinion of the actual usefulness of its techniques on the battlefield, it does give us a means of venting and learning aggression as well as patience) and other programs. Also, we must walk a fine line between training and mentoring warriors and killers. A warrior has honor and adheres to ROE, the Law of Land Warfare, and other little things that are designed to somehow make war more humane. A killer does not. Warriors rarely make the news unless they are being awarded (all-too-often posthumously) the MoH; killers are reported on every chance the media gets as evidence of how ‘out of control” our military is.