New Ayatollah Assahola
After the righteous death of Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeini, the Islamic Republic had to find a new supreme leader. Last week Israel was nice enough to bomb the fuck out of the Assembly of Experts (I’m not making that up) as they counted votes to pick a new leader.
It’s with great pleasure that Iran state media has announced the new Supreme Leader. They found someone who I’m sure will lead the nation into a new Renaissance period. The Assembly of Experts (and again, I’m not making that up) have chosen…The son of the last guy.
The AP reports;
Mojtaba Khamenei, a son of Iran’s late supreme leader, has been named his successor, Iranian state TV announced early Monday, as the war that began a little over a week ago with his father’s killing took a dramatic turn.
The younger Khamenei, who had not been seen or heard from publicly since the war started, had long been considered a contender for the post, even before an Israeli strike killed Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and despite never being elected or appointed to a government position.
Well at least they picked the most qualified guy to be at the end a bomb’s whistling drop. Israel, you have a new target. You know what to do.
Category: Iran
Dead man walking.
He’s already nicked up from a Strike…
No worries, it will give him some street cred.
Likely just a puppet front man.
Maybe Mojtaba Khameni fell asleep during the meeting, or went out to the ally to take a dump, and got selected to die next when he wasn’t there to object.
He raised his hand to ask a question and the rest is history.
Maybe they sent him out to go fetch some chai and elected his butt while absent from the meeting?
That’s why you never miss an SNCO meeting with the Sergeant Major. If you are not there to nominate someone for some bullshit project, you’ll be the guy nominated to run some bullshit project.
He won’t be a standard for change in iran, so it’s best if the Mossad locates him post haste so he can be given his congratulatory JDAM or Tomahawk. After all think of the goats…
The goats have suffered enough.
Another article mentions that in the hierarchy to become the Supreme Ayatollah, he was seven levels down and unusually junior. Perhaps the six levels above him suddenly remembered pressing business elsewhere?
The more they bomb civilian infrastructure in neighboring countries the more friends they make.
Any “pick” that is committed to the regime’s hardline ideology is most likely already on a target list.
If there isn’t, there should be a list of potential candidates who should be in the crosshairs, especially Mojtaba. He has deep ties to the IRGC.
Babylon Bee called it days ago…
https://youtu.be/rD_ay0Fjj5g?si=qqg-iqtqrTvrRqKb
“This was funny. I like it.”
May Mojito Khamenei rest in pieces.
Whoever they finally pick is going to be one polite motherfucker toward America.
Hardheaded bastards– may take a few iterations.
Council of Experts needs to meet again in… 3… 2… 1…
This guy is going to have a shorter career than Hunter Biden’s time as an Ensign in The US Naval Reserve. Does the HMO for the Supreme Leader cover medication for Erectile Dysfunction?
Someone violated HIPPA.
https://www.msn.com/en-in/health/medical/did-mojtaba-khamenei-struggle-with-impotency-wikileaks-cable-reveals-hospital-visits-for-erectile-dysfunction-treatment/ar-AA1XNon7?ocid=BingNewsVerp
Maybe we could bribe him with a case of the little blue pills, plus safe passage to a Nevada brothel with lotsa $$$$$.
Missing a leg and in a Coma….