Weekend Open Thread
When many Christians hear “cherub”, they think of baby or children angels. However, cherubs were depicted as entities consisting of traits from two or more species. We get a detailed description of cherubs in the Book of Ezekiel, the entities carrying the chariot. They had the faces of four different species, had wings, etc. Angels, for their part, did not have wings and were sometimes mistaken as regular people. Enjoy your weekend!
Category: Open thread
FIRST!
Well, well, well….would you just lookie here. A TAH Friday Weekend Open Thread just laying here, orphaned, begging for someone…anyone…to lay claim to the Coveted EARNED NEVER AWARDED FIRST Commentor. HOW SWEET IT IS! The King of Battle…THE King of FIRST has regained his rightful place upon The Throne, dashing the Hopes and Dreams of Miscreanted, d’weeded (and adorable) deplorables. Made even sweeter by it being a TWOFER after the scoring of The HOT from Independence Day.
Some grilled wings of formerly feathered fellows, ice cream with cookies, and the varied assortment of refreshing beverages is now offered to all hands.
Second 🙁
To quote MacArthur “I SHALL RETURN!” In the meantime, KoB can hang on to my scepter and crown. Congrats KoB!
WTF is going on with this early drop of the WOT? I guess the Powers that Be are trying to keep us on our toes.
Congrats, King … the throne room will be well cared for. For you and for all, the trivia of the week! A special column it is, too!
DID YOU KNOW…?
It’s Column 400! And it’s Independence Day! Time for a double celebration!
By Commissioner Wretched
didyouknowcolumn@gmail.com
Copyright © 2024
Four. Hundred. Columns.
This week, “Did You Know…?” celebrates a milestone I never thought would happen.
You are reading the 400th column in the series.
I can’t begin to thank all of you for reading these silly things all these years. You all are the most fantastic, loyal readers any columnist could ever hope for, and this column itself is proof of that. It remains here because of you, and only because of you.
Four. Hundred. Columns.
Thank you so much! Now, on to the next 400! Oh – and Happy Independence Day, too!
Did you know …
… a disease can cause you to stop sleeping? Fatal familial insomnia is a rare, degenerative brain disorder that causes people to slowly stop sleeping over time. Lack of sleep caused by the disease leads to significant physical and mental deterioration, and eventually death. There is no cure. (Well, there is, but you don’t want it.)
… the oldest recorded customer complaint is more than 3,000 years old? Found in ancient Babylon, a clay tablet inscribed in cuneiform from about 1750 BC bears a complaint about the delivery of the wrong grade of copper to a customer. (One wonders if there were any kind of guarantees on the copper.)
… it is practically impossible to pull the pin of a grenade with your teeth? Sure, we’ve seen it done in dozens of war movies, and it looks cool as all get out. But it can’t be done. If you try to pull the pin of a grenade with your teeth, you’ll break your teeth – and the pin will still be in the grenade. (Not to mention the “attention” you’ll get from your drill sergeant for even trying that silly trick!)
… cow tipping doesn’t really happen? I mean, it sounds hilarious to sneak up on a sleeping cow, poke it with your finger, and have it fall over, but it’s really just a myth. For one thing, cows do not sleep standing up. They lie down. Also, the average cow weighs about 1,500 pounds, and they are balanced on all four legs. So no, you’re not going to be able to poke one with a gentle push and make it fall over. (You’ll probably make it really angry, first.)
… there is no difference between a reindeer and a caribou? They’re the same animal. In the areas where they are found, they’re called “reindeer” if domesticated, and “caribou” if wild. (So Santa had caribou before he had reindeer? Is that how it works?)
For some reason Carl The Charcoalnosed Caribou never caught on as a Holiday staple.
Albert the Amber Assed Antelope is still awaiting his shot at fame.
True dat. The bounce-back from the pin when it pops free of the holes on the fuse body/spoon will break teeth… unless you undo the fold-back on the bottom end of the pin first.
That pin is like a cotter pin with a ring. Anyone who carries hand grenades has that pin splayed fully, plus taped for extra safety.
… what the first animated television special created specifically for Christmas was? In 1962, United Productions of America placed their popular Mr. Magoo cartoon character in an hour-long adaptation of A Christmas Carol, written by Charles Dickens (1812-1870). Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol aired on NBC on December 18, 1962, featuring the voice of Jim Backus (1913-1989) as Magoo. The character – a wealthy, elderly, very near-sighted man who won’t admit his condition and thus gets into mischief – was created in 1949 by Millard Kaufman (1917-2009) and John Hubley (1914-1977). When created, Magoo was supposed to be a mean-spirited reactionary, but audiences delighted in his near-sighted antics, and the meanness was replaced by a doddering confusion. Backus gave the character small aside mutterings, not unlike those done by Popeye in his cartoons, and the actor became linked to the character of Mr. Magoo for the rest of his life. Backus was said to have always been delighted to do the Magoo voice when requested, especially by children. Additional trivia note: Mr. Magoo won two Academy Awards™ for his theatrical cartoons, taking the Oscar in 1954 with When Magoo Flew and in 1956 with Magoo’s Puddle Jumper. (Oh, Magoo, you’ve done it again!)
… the world’s first coffee house opened in 1475? Located in Constantinople (now Istanbul, Turkey), Kiva Han was the first public place serving coffee. The brew served at Kiva Han was Turkish and was served strong, black and unfiltered. (In other words, the way I like it on a Monday morning.)
And all of the employees of that Turkish coffee house had degrees in Gender Studies. No joke.
The Turks are a little tougher in their grading when someone gets their genders confused.
Hack came across this story a few months back:
Backus was the voice of the nearsighted cartoon character Mr. Magoo. Years later, when Backus was a frequent talk show guest, he would recount the time Marilyn Monroe urgently beckoned him into her dressing room. Henny Backus, Jim’s wife, recalled the story: “Jim was in the 1952 film Don’t Bother to Knock, with Marilyn Monroe. He came home one night during the filming and told me that Miss Monroe in her most seductive breathy voice asked him to meet her in her dressing room. His curiosity got the better of him and he went. Once there, she exclaimed like an excited child, ‘Do Mr. Magoo!’ And Jim did.
And now all the resulting classic Rankin-Bass cartoons for Christmas have lead, in parody, to:
… sharks do not get cavities? Not because they see their dentists; rather, they don’t get cavities because they are constantly shedding their teeth. A shark has 40-45 teeth, with up to seven rows of teeth behind them. Some sharks go through more than 30,000 teeth in their lifetime. (Good thing humans don’t do that. It would put dentists out of work.)
… whales make navigational mistakes? It doesn’t happen very often, but when they do, it happens during migrations, and the whales don’t realize their error until they’ve become stranded. (All that ocean water looks the same, doesn’t it?)
… a pickle company’s unlikely advertising icon began due to declining birth rates? In 1974, the Vlasic pickle company began running unusual ads for its product using an animated stork. In the beginning of the campaign, the stork said he was delivering pickles because birth rates were declining, and the stork had to find a new way of making a living. The stork has been used to advertise the pickles ever since. Additional trivia note: The stork’s voice in the animated ads was an imitation of the voice of comedian Groucho Marx (1890-1977). (Say the secret word or you’re in a pickle.)
… a British monarch received a giant wheel of cheese as a wedding gift? When Queen Victoria (1819-1901) married her husband, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha (1819-1861) in 1840, one of the gifts given to her was a massive wheel of cheddar cheese. The 1,000-pound cheese was given by farmers in England, and was made from the milk of 750 cows. The farmers asked Her Majesty to exhibit the wheel, and Victoria was most pleased to do so. Following the exhibit, however, the Queen refused to take it back. (Kind of a cheesy gift all around, wouldn’t you say?)
Now … you know!
And now we know why Queen Victoria is Heavy Chevy’s favorite monarch. You can learn a lot from Commissioner Wretched.
400 columns? That’s almost as many FIRSTs that we have on the TAH WOT combined, right? Or is that how many light years we’re gonna have to wait for the next installment? Is that one of The Things you’ve left behind? (IYKYK) Glad that you’ve kept your 26 leaden soldiers occupied in gainful employment. We look forward to the next 400.
I told Ms Thang that if she’d let me sleep on it, I’d give her an answer in the morning..Thought she was gonna kill me for that.
Was Helen Waite the Babylonian Customer Service Manager before she hired on at TAH WWHQ?
Yep, our Drills drilled that fact into our heads many times. Only had 1 idiot try it. Never saw him again, I think he got recycled all the way back to week 1 of Basic.
I like to poke my cows with a fork. After they are properly grilled.
Somehow, Grandma got run over by a Caribou just doesn’t sing. SGT Provy approves this comment.
“…a doddering confusion.” Isn’t that what we saw during the recent debate?
All coffee tastes better with a shot of Jameson added.
Sharks should leave their teeth as a trail for the whales to follow. That way the whales wounldn’t end up stranded as dependapotumuses.
Hell, I stay in a pickle. Just ask AW1Ed.
Queen Vicky just didn’t want to have to make Prince Al a grilled cheese sammich.
Another fine j.o.b. on the trivia, CW. Now…be a lamb and drop the name of that eating place in Helen you were talking about. Inquiring minds (Blaster) want to know.
Found your reply on the HOT, CW. Here’s a linky. You da man! Do mention me to Lois…. *sigh*
https://www.hofbrauhaushelenga.net/
King, the next installment is in the works, but these things take time. Patience is a virtue, and all that sort of rot.
CW, I took Patience’s Virtue a looooooong time ago. Well…actually…full disclosure…Patience gave me her Virtue…The Gun Bunny’s Southern Charm and all that sort of rot.
Motherfuckers dropped it early, again! Hack Stone will file a formal protest to prevent the Admins from accepting early mail in comments.
I know you mean that in the nicest way possible, Hack.
*grin*
Even accounting for the time difference, I’m still late.
Looks like Hack will have to go back to the UK to score the highly coveted and rarely awarded title of First Comment for The WOT. That was back in late September 2023, can’t recall if he rigged the machines to get the title since then.
Hack, working backwards through the entries recorded in the Coveted Book of WOT/HOT Firsts, you racked up a score on the following days:
12 Jan 24, 06 Oct 23, 29 Sep 23, 17 Mar 23, 10 Mar 23, 20 Jan 23, 13 Jan 23, 23 Dec 22, 02 Dec 22, 11 Nov 22, 04 Nov 22, 31 Oct 22, 23 Sep 22, 09 Sep 22, 15 Jul 22, 06 May 22, 29 Apr 22, 15 Apr 22, 01 Apr 22, 25 Mar 22, 18 Mar 22, 11 Mar 22, 30 Jul 21, 09 Jul 21, 04 Dec 20, 31 Jul 20, and your very first “FIRST” occurred on 20 Nov 2015.
2015, the Golden Age of Stolen Valor. That’s when a Valor Thief went all in, fully committed with awful photo-shopped images, forged documents, sock puppets, and threats of lawsuits and physical violence. We need, no, we deserve, another Phil Monkress or Daniel Bernath.
Good thing, for us, is Phil Monkress is too busy blowing winos behind the Flying J and Danny Boi is maintaining a steady -6ft AGL.
I do miss sock puppets. Valor Thieves…not so much.
Remember the ones who said they were on their way to WV to set things straight with Jonn? we had a few.
More than a few. Unfortunately, their Probation Officers would not allow them to travel out of state.
They knew Jonn was waiting with his rifle his ranges marked.
They were all cowards.
Phil Monkress of All Points Logistics has a new side gig going, Extreme Fake SEALS Experience. For only $500 you can spend a weekend with Phil as he provides the inside scoop of acquiring stock photos from the Internet; “talking the talk” of Special Forces lingo; procuring fake documents from Frank Visconi; and how to convince relatives, casual friends and mentally imbalanced employees to defend your fake claims of derring do.
Can’t find the foogas recipe.
You had one (1) job…. *sigh*
Check behind the case of Billy Beer. Remember, we stashed it there knowing that no one would get into that package.
I actually do have a pristine, unopened can of Billy Beer. Collectors now value it somewhere north of 50 cents.
You shoulda finished the case…Think of the children…
That was our classical period. Those bastards really knew how to pose. They weren’t gutless dilettantes like our recent batches of valor thieves.
Oh God, another Phil….
Hack Stone is out there busting his ass selling outdated and overpriced Rwd Hat Software to keep his lovely bride Rosetta Stone accustomed to the lifestyle she deserves, and you guys pull an early drop of the WOT again. You keep this up and you won’t be getting anything of that limited edition corporate swag from the Bethesda House Software & Spandex Club.
“Rwd”, is that Rural water delivery?
Really Was Deplorable.
Really Wide Dependa.
4th?
https://x.com/RobSchneider/status/1808235448873156870
What about Bob?
Who’s he?
Nope, he’s on my list of spoiled pampered pissants IDGAF about.
Self-parody, but his best work:
He needs a wellness check. He may be off his meds and needs a 72 hour hold in a locked mental facility.
FIRST TWENTY FIRST
Just checking in and performing obsequies to the King of Battles on his return to the throne. I’m hoping to be more participatory for a while, and with more brief offerings . As long as I don’t get too irritated.
OK, Mi’Lady, my mastery of The Southern American Language forced me to Foo The Google on that adjective. And it is we that must place ourselves into a state of obsequious to you. Don’t make yourself so scarce and write just as long a post as you feel like…and don’t sweat the small stuff because in the grand scheme of things…it’s all small stuff.
All y’all make me blush over your kindness.
That was my best Southern Lady, just for you dear KoB.
I do know that addresses everyone but as a lady, I must not appear to bestow my favor on just one gentleman lest we start a rumor.
I’m back behind the wire at the GB Compound, saw your offering of the other day, will attempt to catch up later.
In the mean time, welcome back. We’ve missed you.
GB-glad to be back, more glad to hear you’re back and you and yours are hopefully hale and happy.
Thanks, OAM. My brother is doing well, I had some issue early last week, do a stress test & echo Thursday, but managed to help (a little) with a church repair/construction in NM the rest of the week.
So… hale enough, thanks be to God.
Praying you and yours are similarly blessed.
Latest… one never expects public statements sometime:
https://x.com/w_terrence/status/1808997044062745006
To be fair Joe Biden has been battling dementia for twenty some years. No joke.
Here’s another big fumble and gaffe:
NYT: Biden Still Stumbling; “The First Black Woman to Serve With a Black President” – HotAir
Hack Stone just received a phone call from “Michael” at US Energy Solar Solutions. The conversation went like this:
Hack Stone: Hello?
Michael: Hello, this is Michael from US Energy Solar Solutions. How are you doing today, have you been good?
Hack Stone: No, Michael, actually I have been misbehaving, fucking with people trying to steal my personal information.
Then Michael hung up. So long solar.
I like preaching The Great Flying Spaghetti monster to them until they hang up!
At least they call you. Around me, they just walk up and say I’m so n so from blah blah blah, can I interest you in some solar. I’m usually trying to relax or somewhere in the start, middle or end of a project. Did you know they want no part of washing mildew off the northern exposed parts of your buildings, painting, doing brake work, dragging stuff out of the basement or any of the other day to day schtuff? But they do want to carry on a conversation.
I’m waiting on them to come walking up on a landscape project we have planned, at which point I will hand them a shovel and say let’s talk. Will you buy our solar product if I do? No, I will just get done faster.
Well, that’s one way to mess with New York:
Old Iowa license plates found on cars is New York
Now that a certain month’s over:
Present and unaccountable as I award myself Honorary First once more.
((((OVER))))
Epstein did not kill himself.
11 days ago…
Mark Felton, respected WWII historian with a large collection of YouTube videos, presented THIS.
BONUS – Opening scene includes some recognizable American examples of Stolen Valor, including Soup Sandwich.
As for Winston Churchill?
Hmmm.
Dr. Felton does a magnificent job in his videos. But I am not so sure about Churchill’s stolen valour.
Felton admits Churchill was awarded what he is wearing on his honorary RAF uniform, even if a few of them he did not earn fully, like his pilot’s wings the King directed he be awarded.
Thoughts and prayers for Lars MANgInna.
I could sleep right next to it, no problem. But let that sumbitch hiccup one little time…
I could sleep through outgoing 105mm fire, but incoming mortar fire always woke me.
Heck, I know a troop who got off on one– 30kw vibrator, baby!
Generator Set Diesel Engine 30KW 50 60 HZ
For the old farts: Model MEP005A 6115-00-118-1240
For the younger farts: Model MEP805A 6115-01-274-7389
Ah more drama with the Alphabet training shit being shoved down the military’s throat. This one a Space Force incident.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/space-force-commander-says-lost-090029563.html
Mike
USAF Retired
Long on drama, short on facts. He was relieved of command. But how and why did he leave active duty as so “lose his pension?”
He was not court-martialed and “dismissed from the service” despite a headline that claimed he was “dismissed.” (Dismissal of an officer is a specific legal term in military jurisprudence.)
Matthew Lohmeier, dismissed Space Force officer, finds ally in James Inhofe, Mike Rogers – Washington Times
His own web site is a bit more coy about his departure from active duty, reciting:
“Matt separated from active duty on September 1, 2021, ”
while providing no basis or details.
In the Epoch Times, he is quoted as follows: The lieutenant colonel says his final day in the service will be Sept.1.
“I wrote a letter to then-acting Secretary of the Air Force explaining certain circumstances, which I don’t plan to make public, but also requesting an early retirement, and a separation honorably from the service,” Lohmeier told the Epoch Times. (emphasis added).
The military has denied Lohmeier the early retirement, but has agreed to the honorable separation, which Lohmeier and his family have decided is the right course of action.”
Space Force officer punished for denouncing Marxism within the ranks to leave military | Just The News
So it appears he requested to leave the Air Force prior to retirement.
Of course he resigned his commission. He knew he couldn’t compromise his integrity by being that complicit in policies and practices he knew were wrong. Haven’t most of us said the general officers that implemented Brandon’s disastrous withdrawal should have resigned rather than go along?
Anyone catch Joe Biden being interviewed by George Snuffleupagus on ABC last night? After that stellar performance, Joe Biden has certainly extinguished any doubts about his mental acuity. Prominent Democrats are pulling out their checkbooks as we read this to sends millions to the Biden-Harris reelection campaign.
Here’s another gem from the left, NYC is giving more handouts to the ILLEGAL ALIENS:
NYC Allocates Millions for New Pre-Paid Debit Cards for Illegals. (thenationalpulse.com)
Back behind the wire at the GB Compound.
The mission was successful. Glad to be home.
God bless you all.
Someone was not paying attention during the Weekend Safety Brief. Maybe he was protesting the genocide in Gaza.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/south-carolina-man-dies-after-lighting-firework-top-his-head-show-off
He would have made if only he was wearing his reflective PT Belt.
Al-key-haul plus fireworks, and DARWIN AKHBAR!
If only there was some federal agency that regulated alcohol and explosives.
Hack just saw this on Facebook. This is worthy of its own thread.
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/CUc4UEcodJGJwcHD/?mibextid=UalRPS
😀😅😜😆😄
Mikey WHINEstein is at it again, making shit up and grubbing for donations:
Protestant Christian USAF Chaplain calls Basic Chaplain Course’s “warning” about MRFF “extreme hyperbole,” reaches out to MRFF on behalf of agnostic airman facing discrimination – Military Religious Freedom Foundation
People like him keep me convinced that the Human Gene Pool is in seriously dire need of some chlorine!