Congrats to the Corps!

| February 27, 2024

From the halls of Montezuma,

to the shores of Tripoli

We will fight our country’s auditors

And will emerge victory

Or something like that.  Yes, boys and girls, an armed service has finally passed an audit! Plaudits to all of our crayon eaters, the Brotherhood of Leather Neck Guards, the few, the proud, the Marines – pulling a sneaky past the accountants of the Army, the Navy, the Air/Space Faorce and became the very FIRST service to actually pass an annual audit.

The Marine Corps this week became the first military branch ever to pass a complete financial audit, a Defense Department official confirmed Friday, having successfully accounted for more than $46.3 billion in assets and marking the end of a two-year effort.

Independent accountants contracted by the Defense Department issued an “unmodified opinion” on the Marine Corps’ fiscal 2023 financial statement, meaning the information given was as correct as can be proved, the service said.

In 2023, it meant going to more than 70 sites worldwide to look at thousands of real property assets; more than a million other operating assets, such as vehicle spare parts and weapons and communications systems; and more than 24 million rounds of ammunition — sometimes within Army and Navy stockpiles where the Marine Corps had property stored.

Even working past the Army and Navy confusion didn’t keep the Devil Dogs down.

“We had to have documentation for that asset, in addition to the auditors having to view those assets and count those assets,” Gregory Koval, the assistant deputy commandant for resources, said in an interview Friday with Military.com. “So, not just numbers, not just systems, not just data, but they were actually evaluating what we have on hand, what we have on site, and if something was not there, we had to provide them with information to show where it was.”   Military.com

Who knew the finest inventoriers , accountants, and clipboarders wear Marine camo.

Great job, guys, now you can PROVE you have the lowest stockpiles of the most outmoded shit instead of just bragging about it.

As your taxi service says, Bravo Zulu.

 

Category: "Your Tax Dollars At Work", Marines, None

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Dave

Semper Fi Marines

Hack Stone

Semper Financial Audit

Skivvy Stacker

It was simple. We just told them a simple trooth.
“We pass this audit…or we’ll kill ya.”

USAFRetired

After retirement I worked as a contractor in a couple Air Force Program Offices and the ass pain associated with FIAR (Financial Integrity and Audit Readiness) would make a hemmorhoidectomy without anesthetic and pain killers seem like a walk in the park

The recent post concerning the cancellation of several Army helicopter programs made me cringe as the stuff acquired there that got retained for future use exacerbates the problem.

Well done Marines

Prior Service

Aren’t the Marines experts at camouflage?!??’ It’s like playing “find the sniper in this picture” but with hidden gaps in accountability instead.

Hack Stone

Good thing the FASMO inspectors never looked in the dropped ceiling of the Comm Shop.

SgtM

In Yuma we would put our conex box on a 928 and it would sit at the Wal Mart parking lot while FASMO was going on.

USMC Steve

Shhhh.

USMC Steve

Our problem in the past has been in hiding all the stuff we stole from everyone else.

Hack Stone

Opening days of Desert Shield, assigned to BSSG-7 at the port in Saudi. Somehow, a few Marines came back with a top of the line red leather barber shop chair. They said they “found it in a dumpster”. Looked to be in pretty good shape for something pulled from a dumpster. They were probably unaware that in Saudi Arabia that it is common practice to cut off the hand of a thief.

MarineDad61

Hack Stone,
16 from my (activated PA Army National Guard) unit
may have picked up a dozen damaged Humvees from you.
We found those that started and actually ran,
scavenged replacements for damaged or missing body parts
from the busted up HMMVs that wouldn’t start,
and drove 12 port HMMVs back to our unit at Log Base Echo.

🙂

Skivvy Stacker

It’s amazing, sometimes, how many things can wind up at “home” after being “lost in ship to ship transfer”, and the statute of limit—
that is to say you don’t get caug—
I mean the tragedy of the loss is properly documented and filed away.

USMC Steve

Let those turds try that with well armed Marines. Will not end well.

Skivvy Stacker

NOT “stole”…..

“Borrowed”, or “loaned from”, or “commandeered for special purposes”, or “made available for special use”, or [in the case of Supply Operations] “repurposed for redistribution of proprietary mechanical operative enhancements to combat ready units.”

Roh-Dog

Rumor has it the ledger took a week to dry from all the drool.

Also, Sick Call for counting injuries has been moved to the large tents outside the medical center. Tent on the left for finger counting injury, one on the right for toe.

The middle digit, no one wants to see that. You’re SOL.

(lowkey: proud of you guys. way to fight thru the pain!)

Last edited 1 month ago by Roh-Dog
KoB

Takes a while to cipher out everything when you can only count up to 21 at a time…20 and a fraction on a cold day.

Will a Battle Streamer be added to The Corps’ Colors?

“If you received a paper cut during the latest audit, you may be eligible for compensation. Call Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe @ 976-269-2469. Put lead in your pencil, not in your water!”

Skivvy Stacker

I was Supply Admin.
Paper Cuts were worth a Purple Heart…but you had to know a regular Admin Marine, and had to pay a shit load of poagy bait…

Luckily, we had plenty.

Hack Stone

Looks like completing that Financial Responsibility MCI course has paid off.

Green Thumb

Bad ass.

FuzeVT

I was in 10th Marines and prior to 9/11, we had our twice a year pilgrimage to Fort Bragg for Rolling Thunder. Our greatest Joy was going to the Army DRMO and finding all the glorious personal and organizational treasures within. I still have the cammo rain suit I got there. Sure beat the hell out of the Gumby Suit!!

<a data-flickr-embed=”true” href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/taobrien/51231963742/in/album-72157719386902772/” title=”Rolling Thunder Fall 2002″><img src=”https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51231963742_46d5ef3701_z.jpg” width=”640″ height=”427″ alt=”Rolling Thunder Fall 2002″/></a>//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js

FuzeVT

Apparently that embed code doesn’t work here.

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Skivvy Stacker

Ah, yes; cleaning the files…

SFC D

My cynical self automatically questions any audit or inventory that comes up 100%. It just ain’t natural.

Claw

True Dat!!

I hear that 95% of their on-hand inventory consists only of a single NSN, that being:

7510-00-285-1728 Colored Marking Crayon Assortment

MustangCPT

Shots fired.

Trott

We once turned a unit upside down searching for a missing inflatable boat or should I say boat inflatable, turned out an NSN stuff up. It was a gravy boat we were missing, or boat gravy. Item cost $4, cost in man hours $1,000’s

Roh-Dog

Time to make it two:

Skivvy Stacker

Hey, hey, HEY!
I was in Supply Admin.
All we had to do for a 100% clear inventory was to fill out the standard DD-555/34/C-B33 Form Inventory Clearance and Clearance Form.
Sub. A (3) 1: Fill out the section marked “Fill in Subsection E-5 and be sure to include the statement; ‘everything is ship shape and 100% accurate and in order, sir’.
Upon filling out this section return to the clerk at G-17 so he/she may arrange all files in alphabetical order for proper disposal by burning.”

MarineDad61

Congrats to the Corps! …..for selecting the son of MarineDad61
to become a flight instructor
following the completion of his current deployment.

Not much gets MarineDad61 all teary eyed.

A shrinking stack of Burger King drive thru napkins,
as well as OD green and camo handkerchiefs,
now sit in front of the 39″ PC screen.

🙂

Skivvy Stacker

I’m….I’m so godam proud, sir.

Semper Fi…..

5JC

Meanwhile the Army has gone ahead and moved the goal posts to match the reality that people don’t want to be infantry soldiers anymore.

Rather than having a hollow army we just won’t have an Army.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/us-army-cutting-force-24k-recruiting-shortfalls

Last edited 1 month ago by 5JC
Skivvy Stacker

‘Bout fuckin’ time.
MARINE CORPS, OOH RAH!!!!!!!

CWORet

S/F, MFRs!!!

USMC Steve

Be patient my friend. We are a nation of extremes, and this pendulum will eventually swing the other way with a vengeance.

JustALurkinAround

I suspect the rest of DoD will come down hard on the Marines for passing the audit.

James R N

I still remember this Mad Magazine parody of the Marine Corps anthem from the 1960s:
”From the gaudy grill of Cadillac
to the fins of Chevrolet,
we will push GMs new models
and make obsolescence pay!
So, to heck with Ford and Chrysler, boys
and to sports cars from afar,
we will push till every family
buys a brand new GM car”