Josiah Ernesto Garcia, of the Tennessee Air National Guard, applies for hitman job at satire website

| April 15, 2023

Josiah Ernesto Garcia contacted a parody website, “RENT-A-HITMAN,” to offer his skillsets as a member of the Tennessee Air National Guard. Garcia was hoping to land a job with them as a hitman for hire. He showcased his military experience and his expertise with the rifle. Garcia made multiple contact attempts with the website. The FBI got involved. Working together with the website, the FBI fooled Garcia into thinking that he was going forward with being hired and then with being assigned a hit job.

From the Military Times:

Rather than focus his job search on an accredited platform, Garcia sent multiple follow up emails to the site. The FBI eventually intervened, instructing the website owner to set up a “phone interview” with the aspiring hitman.

“I’ve been looking into this for some time now. I was looking for a way to make good money,” Garcia reportedly told the FBI, saying in another email to the website owner that he wanted a good paying job to support a child he had on the way.

In the interview, Garcia also reportedly said he would be comfortable with taking fingers or ears as trophies, or performing torture at a client’s request.

After seemingly passing his phone introduction, Garcia met with an undercover FBI agent on April 6 in Nashville, Tennessee. The agent told him he did not have to go through with the scheme, and could walk away at any time, but Garcia reportedly assured the agent he was in.

A few days later, undercover FBI agents messaged Garcia saying a job was available. Another meeting was then arranged at a public park outside Nashville.

During the rendezvous, the agent gave Garcia a “target package” consisting of photographs and a description of a fictional target’s name, weight, age, height, address and employment information. The agent told him the client would pay $5,000 for the target to be killed.

Garcia allegedly asked if he needed to take a photo of the dead person’s body as proof the job was complete. The FBI then arrested him.

The Military Times has the rest of the story. The parody site could be viewed at this link.

Category: "Teh Stoopid", Air National Guard

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MCPO USN

Wow! The MENSA Society will now be missing a member at the next meeting.

BlueCord Dad

More like somewhere a village is missing its idiot Master Chief. And partially on topic I ran across this headline😎

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MarineDad61

BlueCord Dad,
Not only Air Force.

12 years ago,
50 pounds overweight at age 35
was acceptable for a new recruit approved for
MOS 11B Infantry in the US Army.

(Note – VG admins have the fat boy pics. And the video.)

MustangCPT

Wow. However, it’s not a surprise. I was outrunning and out-PT-ing kids half my age when I got sent to Army BCT back in 2011 at age 38. And I was not exactly a PT stud. I still manage to outdo a good percentage of Soldiers who are much younger than me even today and I’m pushing 50. I’ll probably still be beating younguns if I stick around until mandatory retirement.

USMC Steve

Honestly, would it really make them less effective?

A Proud Infidel®™

WOW, I bet he was a Phi Beta Kappa in high school as well!

Roh-Dog

Two points:

  1. The dotgov don’t like competition.
  2. The Man ruins everything these days.

Guessing I should remove some datas from Indeed, post haste.

Best of luck to Mister Garcia!

5JC

I keep my classified documents safely stored in the garage next to my Corvette. Sometimes I rent the garage out to some meth heads who have a lab in there. When I go into the garage they are this smartest ones in the room.

Roh-Dog

I keep mine in a closet at an office my foreign handlers paid for, located at a leftist university (redundant), while getting paid for a no-show adjunct professorship.

(I don’t know where Ed’s post went, but he shared this article)

Deputy defense secretary to [T]roops: Don’t share classified information

Best part about it, The They would like you to snitch on yourself!

“If you have already accessed or downloaded such documents on an unclassified network or device, please consult with your supervisor and contact your organization’s IT/cybersecurity service provider immediately for guidance,” the memo continues.

I wrote a memo that says I’m never going to play in the Secret+ playground ever again. (mostly that memo is posted here on TAH. Thank you all for listening!)

Grunt

That’s not even the best part!

“If you are contacted by Congressional members or staff, please refer them to the DoD Office of Legislative Affairs at osd.pentagon.oasd-la.list.intel@mail.mil.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure it’s expressly forbidden for anyone in the DoD chain, from your acting team leader to the C-in-C, to interfere with members of congress communicating with service members.

Not that I want to talk to any of them, of course, but not all of us enjoy the privileges that department heads and SES’ enjoy in telling Congress to go fuck themselves.

Roh-Dog

Damn! Missed that little chestnut!
[in my defense it was kinda ‘in the fold’ ‘tween two ads]

Even the hint of that is repugnant to the role of congress and the ideal inherent in republic.
[don’t worry, I’m crylaughing too]

I wonder if there are any in that defiled building that’d actually do the job they’ve sworn to do.
[still crylaughing]

Beer:30 hours. RD, out.

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Hack Stone

It’s a rough week for the Air National Guard. When these guys get sentenced, will they have to serve it one weekend a month and two weeks during the summer?

MarineDad61

Hack Stone,
Better yet…
They will serve full time prison,
and be released 1 weekend per month
to participate in NG weekend drills.

(Note – Years ago, I served as a volunteer driver, 3 rounds trips,
to take a NG E-6 SSG member of MY unit
from county jail to weekend drill and back,
during his 90 day sentence for getting pinched
driving without a license, after his 3rd DUI.
Jailed 70 miles away from the NG Armory,
I was 1 of 3 unit members in reasonable proximity to the jail,
and the only 1 who was willing to help him out.
He was 1 of our Gulf War guys, who did great in the desert,
so I felt he deserved the assistance.
I even treated him to restaurant meals on the Sunday drives back.)

Hack Stone

The 1st Sergeant of Hack Stone’s brother Rollin Stone while assigned to Comm Company 2nd Marine Division would give the weekly “Don’t drink and drive” brief, after which he would report to the Onslow County jail for his weekend incarcerations for DUI ( or maybe it was vehicular manslaughter, need to check with Rollin).

Hack Stone

Just confirmed with Rollin Stone that yes, he was doing weekend jail for vehicular manslaughter. And still made it to Sergeant Major. He must have been issued those highly coveted and rarely distributed Teflon Cammies.

SFC D

I had a BDE Commander that got a DUI in 2004. There was much rejoicing. Punishment should’ve more severe, but it effectively ended his career. 25X might recall this awesome day.

Hack Stone

Further update. The 1st Sergeant was not just confined over the weekend, Rollin Stone indicated that he was on a work release program. They would open the cell in the morning, and in the evening, Otis the lovable town drunk/1st Sergeant would report back to Sheriff Andy.

RGR 4-78

Who knew it was “divest the Air Guard of shitbags” week. 🙄 

Green Thumb

They are heroes!

Drop a few stories and suck up a few free beers about watching the gate.

USMC Steve

Out standing!

Prior Service

Looks like I’m in for another round of mandatory training.

5JC

Yeah, don’t offer yourself up as a cartel hitman to strangers on line. They should be like the first thing they teach. 8 hours of PowerPoint and an annual refresher oughta fix that.

Txnorsky

I was thinking this should have been under “Stupid People of the Week”.
Then again, this guy is extra special stupid deserving of a separate post.

QMC

That was my thought as well. Teh Stoopid is strong with this one.

Skippy

IDIOT….

NUFF SAID…..

Hatchet

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!!! Idjit..

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Hack Stone

Hack Stone would like to offer his 22 years of intense Marine Corps training to the highest bidder. Highly skilled at arriving four hours early for a 08:00 formation; faking interest in three hour sexual harassment PowerPoint presentations; shaking down the troops to “voluntarily” contribute to Navy Relief and the Combined Federal Campaign; the ability to immediately fill a plastic cup during unit no notice urine analyses; and of course, the recovery of precious metals on rifle and pistol ranges.

Green Thumb

All the while taking a dump in stall #3.

Hack Stone

Making a #2 in Stall # 3.

Green Thumb

Sit on the lap and aim for the gap.

Green Thumb

I could see a future with All-Points Logistics.

Phildo’s PSD.

Hack Stone

Phil Monkress needs a new fall guy ever since that vacancy in the All Points Logistics Reston office opened up. Can you believe that it has been almost ten years that we were introduced to the genius of Psaul of The Ballsack? Seems like only yesterday that he was posting incoherent alcohol fueled threats on here. Yeah, good times. Different strokes, too.

Green Thumb

And this is what the FBI is doing these days…..

KoB

“…nicknamed “Reaper,” Welp, I guess he’ll reap the benefits of his sowing some stupidity.

Don Corleone had no comment.

MustangCPT

I read the article and I have a question. What is this joker’s AFSC? Honestly, I can’t think of too many career fields in the Air Force/Air National Guard that would qualify you to be a hitman. Oh well, he’s going to have plenty of time to ponder his misdeeds while he sits in the pokey!

Hack Stone

His friends may call him Reaper, but we’ll just stick with referring to him as Dumbass.

With his set of particular skills and ability to accurately assess the situation, Phil Monkress should hire him as a fixer next time he needs someone to cover up his claims of being a US Navy SEAL.