USAF Captain earns accolades for cleaning the toilet

| August 11, 2021

Captain Erin Walsh stands in front of a KC-10 Extender with a nice clean shitter

In a story that would be right at home at The Duffel Blog or The Babylon Bee, we have the true story of Captain Erin Walsh. Captain Walsh is the maintenance officer in charge of KC-10s, 380th Expeditionary Maintenance Squadron at Al Dhafra Air Base, United Arab Emirates. She cleaned a plane’s toilet and is now being lauded for it.

The DVIDS article that accompanies the photo of Walsh is worth a read.

Category: Air Force, Dumbass Bullshit, YGBSM!!

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Graybeard

oh
.
.
my
.
.
word

Anonymous

Livin’ da dream!

A Proud Infidel®™

Ho-LEE sheepshit, that’s NOT a Duffel Blog or Babylon Bee article!

Anonymous

She gets a top-block on her next OER…

Ex-PH2

Ah, but does she clean cat boxes? That’s a real skill, y’know.

Sparks

When I was in, the closest I saw Captain get to a latrine was on inspection and that was just a look-see. So, she stuck her head in the head, big f’ing deal. If this is all it takes to be “Bla Bla of the Quarter” someone is missing a whole hell of a lot.

So glad I have my DD-214.

AT2E

I’m with you Sparks.

Fuckin’A! You gotta be shitting me! See what I did there – I’ll show myself out. What a joke!

rgr769

The closest I ever got to a toilet as a CPT was for personal use. As a 1LT in Mainz, I recall an inspection where some AGI O-5 looked at our latrines. And of course, I dug plenty of cat holes in the Bush with an E-tool. I guess in the Air Force they use O-3’s to clean aircraft crappers.

Mustang Major

If the Army gave a badges for cleaning toilets, (basic, senior, and master) every badge hound would have one.

rgr769

Yup, but not in my Army. I bet the USAF already has a ribbon for that.

Sparks

My money says an AFCOM is on her horizon.

USMC Steve

I think I may submit this article to congress as an example of why the AF needs its budget cut.

Anonymous

Meanwhile, stuff is gettin’ even more FUBAR in A’stan:

“Panic Grips Afghanistan in Wake of Taliban Onslaught,” Yahoo! News, 12 Aug 2021
https://www.yahoo.com/news/panic-grips-afghanistan-civilians-flee-104353537.html

Ex-PH2

Can’t you hear that refrain?

You know the one: YOU’LL BE SORRY!!!!!

Anonymous

We’ve sent troops to KIA to support the evac of the embassy in Kabul, so “There’s gonna be no circumstance where you see people being lifted off the roof of a embassy of the United States from Afghanistan. It is not at all comparable.” (just so you know):
https://twitter.com/ComfortablySmug/status/1425883597001695242

Sapper3307

“Thank me for my service.”

MustangCryppie

When I was flying on EP-3’s, every flight we (the spooks) were tasked with taking out the pisser.

One guy took it upon himself to take out the pisser EVERY SINGLE FLIGHT he was on. Guess it was a matter of honor for him (yes, we are a weird bunch).

The Navy fliers on this blog will have heard of the flight hour pins that Lockheed made to give to commemorate number of P-3 flight hours. 1000 hour pin, 2500 hours, etc.

Well, when this guy left our unit, some wit got a patch made up to look just like the Lockheed pin, except that, instead of flight hours, they had “5000 Gallons” embroidered on it. Classic! If I had been the recipient, I would have had it framed!

Now, if you took a dump, that was called “breaking the code”. If one did that, everyone else on the plane could take a shit also and the original violator of the “code” had to dispose of the evidence. Didn’t matter what rank you were. You were carrying that poop off of the plane.

In such an instance you better pray that you are reasonably well liked. I remember one time when a universally hated LT broke the code and EVERYONE managed to pinch off a loaf just for the LT!

SFC D

My dad had a few B-52 stories like that, it seems “The Code” is universal among flight crews.

USAFRetired

I only logged a double handful of ours on the EC-130E ABCCC, mostly doing flight test. That was part of the brief to us visiting aircrew. If you’re first you haul it away.

AW1Ed

Crew’s NavComm was taking a dump in the P-3 head, with the bird ON THE DECK. This was just lazy.

I grabbed the AgiFlight camera- 70mm format, looks like a ray gun- and at my signal my SS-2 pulled the Lav Lights circuit breaker. I slammed the head door open and fired off about a dozen shots of him on the throne.

Lesson learned.

Hat tip to Andy11M for my link.

MustangCryppie

Wow! That is just totally UNSAT! I would have taken a couple of doses of ExLax to make sure I fully loaded the bag for this asshole!

And if he balked that the bird wasn’t airborne, I’d say that if the APU is ON, you are taking my shit OFF!

AW1 Rod

But did you bag the turds, and store them in the doppler well until landing???

MI Ranger

So how far do you have to go to “dispose” of the waste? Is it like on the fantail so you have to climb down hatches and down hallways, all the time trying to not spill it?
Or is it like pull it, and walk twenty paces to dump overboard? Try not to drop the container with it?

Flight crews would have loved me…thanks to the Army I am quite regular!! Of course I am also willing to do the dirty work like everyone else. I never told anyone to do anything I had not already done before!

AW1Ed

Land based. Used to dump the pisser down a handy drain. The bag of frozen shit would be hand carried to the hanger and flushed.

ChipNASA

I’m going to figure out how to work this description into the new and IMPROVED!!!
The As(s)teroid of Insults®™

” This aircrew flight suit turtle (like that visual?? ) should be treated like an unwanted stowaway and should be frozen, bagged and hand-carried off the flightline, by the lowest ranking, offending member of the flight personnel, and flushed in the nearest appropriate facility ASAP after the aircraft touches down and then comes to a complete stop (you know, for safety purposes).”

Thoughts??
(Edits??)
😀 😀

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 A Gang Snipe

During my time aboard the Okie 3, all waste went down the bowls and went overboard into the sea.

USAFRetired

Good for the Captain. One of the basic tenets I was taught concerned ordering folks to do things that I wouldn’t/couldn’t do.

Now that she has done it under the same conditions her folks are working under she can put to rest the grumblings from the troops that that little airplane Mx Officer doesn’t know what its like. Its especially true if they don’t have a lav service truck and are making due with field crafted work arounds.

Maybe it was a slow news day

SFC D

Probably scored some points with her crew, but that public affairs guy needs a kick in the nuts. Dumbassery like this is gonna get her a new callsign.

FuzeVT

I was thinking the same.

CWORet

‘zactly. “Hey Skipper, shitters full!!!”

Harry

Bet she gets a Bronze Star with “D” for Dookie.

ChipNASA

OK, I’m going to just repeat a couple of the things I saw on the Book of Face comments for my career field (2T2, Air Transportation or 605 for you old guys) who regularly do this as part of our job, Lav Services it’s called) …With advanced apologies to the ladies of TAH who should understand it’s not about this individuals gender but the general stupidity therein…(if it were some Butterbar Dude, same applies) 1. “Yeah, but does she make a mean sammich??” 2. “Seriously? I should have like, 6,472 AFAMs.” 3. “This is news?? Who doesn’t know Maintenance sucks shit!! 😀 ” Anyway, having had to do this countless times, on the fightline in both the civilian world and the military, I’ll just give this brief story…(No shit there I was…) I was working at Baltimore BWI for TWA back about 1989. I was working the ramp cleaning, restocking, minor maintenance and of course, defleeting the aircraft. One of the “kids” working with me was the counter manager’s like 16/17? year old son. Whatever age he had to be, to be working there but yeah, like High School. Having done this like a million times, you have to be careful of certain things like, 1. Making certain the hose is connected correctly. There a large metal ring at the end that slips over a pipe on the side of the port on the aircraft and then a locking ring is tightened to hold it on securely. 2. You always wear the proper gear. This woman looks like she’s going into a level 4 virus lab. SHEEEETTTT (yeah, pun intended), we’d do this in our clothes/uniform and maybe gloves and maybe a mask and sometimes the apron, but yeah, a LOT of times, not so much, (“Back in MY day, we picked up dinosaur poop with our bare hands!!…you get the idea) 3. You double check your work. I said….YOU DOUBLE CHECK YOUR WORK!!! You don’t get a second chance. When everything is ready, there’s (was) a rubber “doughnut” that was a plug, you pulled out of the tube that… Read more »

USAFRetired

Outstanding.

Nexxius
Dennis - not chevy

I hear you. We 2T3’s (472 for us old guys) had to fix those lav service trucks. Oh the stink…

ChipNASA

You guys…Vehicle Slops. Oh wait…now these days it’s ” Vehicle Management “.

Reminds me of something…..Hmmmmm

” This here is a vee-HICKLE…”

https://imgur.com/T8kXBmy

Dennis - not chevy

It’s pronounced, “Youse Guyz”.

I just hope it doesn’t blow up in her face.

As was usual for us vehicle types, my heavy equipment shop was in a WWII bomber hangar. I was the boss; we had just finished the summer rebuild. I had to tell the troops the Chief wanted new lines painted on the floor, and paint the latrines (from the French: La-Trine), and paint everything else. I told the guys that paint fumes made me swimmy headed and I would do any detail of their choosing if I could get out of the painting without hearing any beefing about how I pulled rank to get out of the painting. I would have been better off getting swimmy headed and I’m not sure anyone could have told the difference.

timactual

Sure takes the magic and romance out of wishing on a star.

Martinjmpr

I don’t know if it’s me being old fashioned or a difference between Army and Air Force but as a senior NCO I would have been embarrassed if an officer had to clean a latrine because it would mean that somewhere there was an NCO not doing his or her job.

Either that or the officer in question was so useless that cleaning a latrine was the only thing he or she was good for. Either way, it’s not a good look for the service, IMO.

Although it does remind me of something I read decades ago in the “Humor in Uniform” section of Reader’s Digest:

It seems a certain brigade commander was incensed by the number of commissioned officers under his command who were driving themselves around the post. In the Colonel’s mind, driving was a job for lower enlisted personnel as officers had much more important things to do, and he put out an order that if an officer had to go somewhere in a military vehicle, he was to be driven by an enlisted soldier, under all circumstances.

So the writer of this article, a captain, had to go to an appointment but couldn’t find his enlisted driver. Finally, he gave up, grabbed the keys to the jeep and drove himself. As he was returning through the main gate, he saw his commander standing there. The captain stopped at the gate and the colonel walked up to him and sarcastically said, “My goodness Captain ____! I had no idea the Army was paying it’s jeep drivers so much!”

And the captain replied “Well, sir, it’s really not that much when you consider what they’re paying the gate guards.”

MI Ranger

When I was in Afghanistan, the first time, we got these really nice “toilet trucks” brought in. Had about eight stalls, separated by a curtain (for privacy), lighted, water running in sinks…it was great! Until someone decided to make a mess! It was not a TCN, because they were not allowed in this area. Signs went up!!!! It happened again. The CG decided the only way to control this was to have “Shitter Guards”, and to ensure it was done right he decided the minimum rank to do it was O-6!!! We had to sign in and out, and they had to inspect and sign off when we were done! Guess what…it stopped happening after a week.

Martinjmpr

Yeah, we had the toilet trailers in Kuwait but I never saw them in Afghanistan.

We did have the shower trailers, which were nice, in both places. However, during the pre-Fallujah surge in late 2004, I was at Camp Buehring in Northern Kuwait, which was a major deployment camp for units getting ready to go into Iraq. There was a Marine brigade near our shower trailer and I learned very quickly that if I wanted a shower I needed to set my alarm to about 4:00 AM because by 5:00 they were out of water.

A Proud Infidel®™

In a lot of FOBs in A-stan they had to padlock the latrines because of Afghans going in them and dropping a deuce wherever they pleased, especially in the shower stalls!

Sandman

I always said the AF would give a ribbon for everything,,,,Toilet cleaning, penmanship, tying shoe laces,,,etc,,etc.

SgtBob

I never wanted to see an officer doing any job outside his/her stated duties. Never. Latrine cleanup is not, I say again, is not within any officer’s purview. When my daughter was a 2LT at her first duty station, she mentioned she and other officers emptied trash cans from beside clerks’ desks. I asked for her squadron commander’s name. “Dad,” she said in a warning voice. “You and I have the same last name.” I said, “I won’t use my last name. I’ll just say, ‘Colonel, I understand you are misusing your younger officers, having them empty trash baskets of enlisted clerks. As an old, retired NCO, Sir, I would say you have little if any understanding of leadership.'” My daughter said, “Dad, please do not do that.” I calmed down a little and said I would not. But I sure wanted to.

ChipNASA

That applies to NCOs too, apparently. HOW the hell were my Airmen going to learn to drive the 10K forklift by standing around watching SSgt Chip tool around the yard? Yeah Chief lit into me that day and it wasn’t too many times after that I was allowed to drive the MHE when airmen were around, unless it was necessary. No matter HOW cranially challenged these kids were….”NO NO NO, you’re DOING IT *ALL* WRONG!!!!” 😀 😀 😀

USAFRetired

During SOUTHERN WATCH in Sandy Arabia the requirement to drive on the economy so to speak required the rank of a SSGT (E-5). It was about a 10 mile drive from Eskan Village whee we were billeted to Riyadh Air Base where we were flying out of. Crews were expected to drive themselves in one of the Coaster busses. Before deployment I made a survey of my crew to see who had Government Drivers license for 29/44 pax bus. I then scheduled all my enlisted E-4 (Senior Airmen) and above for Bus training so that we would have sufficent number of drivers and spares. Several of the SRA complained because they couldn’t drive is Saudi anyway, to which I responded they could drive on Base in Turkey six weeks after we got back from Saudi. The day in question I met them at the appointed place for the hands on practicum and road test and road along for the first guy after the instructor demo. Then I took a turn and got a 29 pax bus endorsement for my license after passing the test. Then I got my happy but off the bus and let the other 5 folks do the same and I went back to work shuffling papers. Fast forward a couple years and another airplane. We launched out of Georgia drove all the way up to Ft Lewis WA hitting a tanker along the way. After working the Yakima range for a couple hours we call off station to RTB. A couple minutes later as we are on our way home we get a PA announcment for everyone to check their Oxygen regulators to make sure some one hadn’t left it in the Emergency position. It turns out our lox system was pretty much depleted. So we diverted into Fairchild AFB to have it checked out and serviced. We had about 30 SOB all aircrew. As we were limited to a 16 hour crew duty day we couldn’t get it done in time and still get home within the constraint the decision was made to RON. Fairchild… Read more »

The Stranger

When I retire, if I am asked what part of my military career I am proudest of, I will answer immediately and without hesitation that I managed to serve over 20 years in 2 branches of the military and avoided getting “Bus” on my military license!🤣

Martinjmpr

Three pieces of advice for young GIs:

1. Never marry a stripper
2. Never buy a car at the used car dealer right off post and
3. Never get a bus license.

(for those at Fort Bragg, I’d add “Never move into a trailer in Spring Lake.”)

MI Ranger

SgtBob,
From the sounds of the Article, this happened once. Having been enlisted as well, I always thought it was a good idea to have an officer learn all the jobs their Soldiers/Airmen do at least once. It shows good leadership and it also gives them an appreciation for what it takes to do the job right.
Yes, emptying waste baskets is a bit mundane, and I agree with you the senior officer was probably not properly training their junior officers if they had that much extra time. But if she was doing it, so the clerks could vacuum or file paperwork to ensure the office looked nice as they closed up for the day than maybe it was a time saver!

SgtBob

MI Ranger. Maybe that’s what Ranger course teaches, but for us regular old steel-pot-wearing NCOs, any physical work done by a commissioned officer means the platoon sergeant is not doing his job in teaching said officer. I’ve had platoon leaders who were former enlisted, and I have at times had to say, “Sir, that is not your job.”

Sapper3307
A Proud Infidel®™

What’s next, a blue ribbon for whoever does the best drawing of a dick on the wall?

SFC D

No no no, you have to draw a “sky penis”.

FuzeVT

Yes, the Dicks on Walls Commendation™ is strictly an Army/Marine Corps award.

26Limabeans

I always thought the P-3 had a piss tube….

MustangCryppie

No. But the A-3 Skywarrior had one.

The squadron I flew with, VQ-1, besides flying EP-3’s also flew the A-3, the EA-3 recce version. The plane was used for carrier based recce ops. Loudest plane on the flight deck…and that’s saying a LOT.

Of course airdales being airdales, they always found a way to fuck with the boots.

When a boot aircrewman was being shown preflight for the first time, they were instructed to do a comms check with the cockpit using said piss tube. As you can imagine, much hilarity ensued.

AT2E

We did the same thing with boots on the Navy helos I worked on, SH-3s and SH/HH-60s. Told them the relief tube was “emergency ICS”.

ChipNASA

OK, OK,
You know how hard it is to choke down a mouthful of spaghetti and garlic bread while reading this?? I should know better after all these years on TAH.
ALSO, just to save you the time, if you Google
“comms check piss tube” You don’t get any funny stories, you get ads and such for synthetic urine so once again, INtrawebs and Al Gorez…you disappoint.

A Proud Infidel®™

Search “Asian Midget Donkey pr0n” and see what you get!!! 😁🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ex-PH2

What are you guys going on about? How many of you yardbirds have ever shoveled horse crap AM & PM out of stalls, into the wheelbarrow, take it to the manure pile and dump it and then get hit on for it by a guy who is running a large market garden and wants it for fertilizer. I always told him “Help yourself, but the starboard side is fresh. Take the port side.”

At least he kept the piles at a civilized level. Also, he gave me lots of tomatoes, zucchini, yellow squash, green onions and radishes once a week. I thought that was quite a fair trade.

Hack Stone

One of Hack Stone’s many secondary skills developed while waiting on his school seat, shoveling horse shit at the 29 Stumps Base Stables. It was those intangible skills that secured Hack a seat at Recruiter’s School.

Ex-PH2

Yes, when you have shoveled your share of SH and IT, you have earned the privileges that go with that, but they never tell you about them until you’ve earned them… or something like that.

timactual

Horse crap? No–much too glamorous for me. I am, however, certified in sheep, chicken, dog, cat, and people shit. Presently working on my ground hog cert.

Hack Stone

Back in 1987, Hack Stone was with ELMACO 2nd Maintenance Battalion. He had the opportunity to go down to Blount Island (Jacksonville Fl) several times to do preventative maintenance on some of the gear on the MPPF ships. One particular trip was a day run. Hack reported to 2nd Marine Division Headquarters, climbed into the van, then we headed over to General Looney’s quarters to pick him up and head over to the Air Station to fly down there. As he was climbing into the van, he turned to the 1st Lt assigned to be his adjutant and told him “Be sure to walk my dog.” It’s Not every commissioned Marine Corps Officer who can be entrusted to pick up dog shit.

As a side night, it was interesting to submit a travel claim starting in Jacksonville, going to Jacksonville, and returning to Jacksonville.

David

Think most of you are all wet on this one. The article says she wnts to learn all the tasks her people do to ensure they have the time and tools to do them right, and never implies she got the award BECAUSE she cleaned lavs. I read this as a go-getter who wants to know what her folks do so she can make sure they do it well. Far better than the asshole ‘leader’ who bitches when what he/she calls a “simple” job is not done right and is found to have no shred of an idea what the job entails or how to do it. Sounds to me like an officer with her head screwed on right.

SFC D

Kudos for the Captain learning all the tasks, but does it really merit a news article? I’m sure there are far better things she’d rather be known for.

Graybeard

As a leader (civilian, but…) I never felt there was a task beneath me, and I always wanted to set an example for those I led.

But that falls into a SOP category, but an “atta-girl” category.

The optics here are bad, IMHO.

Graybeard

“but not and “atta-girl””

sheesh

Devtun

A shitty bullet for her OPR.

Green Thumb

It stinks in here!

That’s because I’m the shit.

But on a serious note, cleaning out a toilet clogged with a steaming pile of Phil Monkress is no easy task.

Sapper3307

A Proud Infidel®™

I still remember that song from the “Heavy Metal” soundtrack!

MarineDad61

Classic Gulf War memory from Saudi Arabia, 1991.
After it was all over, and we were biding time waiting for the flight home,
unit officers held OFFICER MESS BREAKFAST.
All were there.
Food wasn’t that great, but the officers were prodding for compliments.

(2LT) –
“How do you like the breakfast this morning?”
(SSGT in front of me in line) –
“If you want to impress me, go out and burn some shit.”

26Limabeans

“go out and burn some shit”

You got me ckoking on my Wheaties with that Dad61.
Anyone that hasn’t been on a shit burning detail don’t know shit…

MarineDad61

26Limabeans,
I have the Shit Burner patch.
Still for sale online.
$8.
https://www.mooremilitaria.com/shit-burner-patch.html

MarineDad61

Tenacity? With shit?
Story stolen from Jurassic Park.

Anonymous

Dino-doodoo?

MarineDad61

Anonymous,
Yep. Enough to clog a KC-10 john.

Green Thumb

A steaming pile of Phil Monkress.

Hack Stone

Now, if we could just get all of the 2nd Lieutenants to get on line to pick up cigarette butts, it would make for a better world for you and Hack.

Hack Stone

Hack Stone remembers how proud everyone was when the Lance Corporal Pigpen finally passed a field day inspection. He was so hygienically challenged that his roommates were entitled to Hazardous Duty Pay.

SFC D

I had a roommate in AIT like that. I think he had some kind of glandular disorder. You’d see the guy in the shower after PT, soaped up everywhere, obviously making an effort. 2 hours later, the guy smelled like gorilla shit.

26Limabeans

Had a guy like that in high school but it was his feet.
Poor guy took a lot of shit from classmates in the locker room.

Green Thumb

After many years, I have become a connoisseur of nasty ass.

Herbert J Messkit

Ft Hood 1/ 82 FA mid 90s
Some congressional staffers were going to tour our motor pool. We spent a couple of days cleaning up, painting sweeping etc. The tour went well until standing in the motor bay, one of the female staffers asked to use the restroom. I was just a fringe player, but the motor sergeants face turned bone white. I didn’t even know we had a female latrine. She was guided to it but had to use the clean male latrine. The female was full of hmmv tires and other spare parts. CSM reamed us all after that.

gitarcarver

Is there a PLO ribbon, school, rank or accolade?

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjoSN8DwPL0&w=640&h=360%5D

Claw

PLO Ribbon = Air Force Special Duty Ribbon. (It’s a real thing/s)

OldManchu

So did she wash her hands before she made the sandwiches afterwards?

USMC Steve

That should read “sammiches”.

OldManchu

Correct. I won’t let it happen again.

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Tim Locoweed

Permanent Latrine Orderly (PLO)