New Yorker Reporter Suspended for Overexposure

| October 20, 2020

No Big Deal

Add another claim-to-fame for Jeff Toobin, American lawyer, blogger, author and legal analyst for CNN and The New Yorker. Seems he needed to air out some issues during a Zoom meeting with fellow media members. Unfortunately he managed to commit the Zoom equivalent of a hot mic, and treated some meeting attendees with a bit more than was expected.

Poetrooper sends. Caution, NWS subject matter.

The New Yorker Suspends Jeffrey Toobin for Masturbating on Zoom


The New Yorker suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin after he was caught masturbating during a Zoom call last week with New Yorker and WNYC radio members, according to a report.

VICE reports:
Two people who were on the call told VICE separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker’s biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; Evan Osnos was Joe Biden, Jelani Cobb was establishment Democrats, Masha Gessen played Donald Trump, Andrew Marantz was the far right, Sue Halpern was left wing democrats, Dexter Filkins was the military, and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts. There were also a handful of other producers on the call from the New Yorker and WNYC.

Both people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to speak freely, noted that it was unclear how much each person saw, but both said that they saw Toobin jerking off.

Natalie Raabe, a press representative for the New Yorker, confirmed Toobin has been suspended but did not explicitly state the reason behind the decision.

“Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter,” Raabe said.

Additionally, the New Yorker editor David Remnick wrote in a memo to all staffers: “Dear All, As you may have read in various news reports today, one of our writers, Jeff Toobin, was suspended after an incident on a Zoom call last week. Please be assured that we take such matters seriously and that we are looking into it. Best, David.”

Meetings can be stressful, but there are other, more socially acceptable means to deal with it than Jeffery’s method. Unless this is now a legitimate method of making an editorial comment, of course. I just can’t keep up with the Dems and what they find appropriate.

Read the entire article here: Breitbart

Thanks Poe. I think.

Category: "The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves", Guest Link, Media

Comments (55)

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  1. Green Thumb says:

    What a tool.

    Wonder when Chris Cuomo will invite him on his show? Followed by The View.

  2. 26Limabeans says:

    Guy is a whack job.

  3. Combat Historian says:

    Toob caught pounding his tube; but don’t forget, peasants, he is your intellectual and moral better, so genuflect and prostrate yourselves to him and his kind as they engage in mental, moral, and literal masturbation while destroying our country…

  4. ninja says:


    Liked that you listed this story under “The Flogging Will Continue…”

    Poor Guy….


  5. Sparks says:

    Jerk off!

  6. Commissar says:

    Of all the ways to ruin a career. He probably wishes he had just said something racist or sexist.

    • 26Limabeans says:

      That will not ruin his career among his peers.
      It will be excused. Possibly an enhancement.
      They are all jerking each other off anyway.

      • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

        He’ll do his penance and then show back up “rehabilitated” – just look at Brian Williams.

      • Cobrakai99 says:

        Such CNN luminaries as Brain dead Seltzer are already rolling out the it was only a little accident excuse, “I can’t believe he was suspended.”

  7. Skippy says:

    Isn’t this the turd that’s CNNs legal Expert???
    If so Karma is a bitch

  8. Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH B Woodman says:

    “Overexposure”. Makes it sound like a photographic error.

    • AW1Ed says:

      Drawing a fine line between informative and humorous without being salacious. Brother Poe loves to put me on the spot like this- try it yourself sometime.

      • ninja says:

        Well, we now know that other TAH Readers have the gift of pun as well.

        Our Jeff now has competition!

        Speaking of Competition…


        (KoB and I know that our AW1Ed loves it when Mule and Goat meet every December…)


  9. NHSparky says:

    CNN–we’re pulling for you!

  10. Sapper3307 says:

    COVID-19 side effects, problem solved.

  11. I think he used to hang out with Pee Wee Herman in the movie theaters. Just saying. In the Navy the saying was that 99 % of people that say that they don’t jerk off are liars and the 1 % that say they do are fools. Quoting from one of the LPH 3 Snipes or a Deck ape we hung around with. Cannot remember.

  12. 11B-Mailclerk says:

    Don’t have the “staff meeting” on Zoom.

  13. Hack Stone says:

    In his defense, what Trump hating journalist would not be sexually aroused discussing how to the sitting President out of The White House?

  14. Hack Stone says:

    He should appeal the suspension, there is food chance that he can beat the charges and get off.

    • Hack Stone says:

      Good chance. Hack blames the cheap ass cell phone procured by the Vice President of the proud but humble woman owned business that sells software to the federal government.

  15. Hack Stone says:

    Obviously he is not master of his domain.

    • MarineDad61 says:

      Hack Stone,
      Classic. Ha!
      Worse, he upstaged the Stolen Valor article.
      Same day.
      Geez, what a Jeez.

  16. AW1 Rod says:

    “The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well.” – Sigmund Freud

    Loping your mule during a Zoom meeting is NOT doing it well. But, hey…..Jeffy will blame his behavior on a “sickness,” disappear for several months of “therapy,” then emerge to rejoin the Clown News Network as some sort of hero.

  17. Mason says:

    What kind of impulse control does this doofus have that he can’t stop jerking it for a meeting?Then, how vigorously do you have to be working the crank for the laptop camera to get knocked out and angled down?

    I’d wager this wasn’t an accident. No way. He’ll probably get a pass though unless other people come out saying he’s done this before (which is likely, whether true or not in these times).

    • FuzeVT says:

      Sounds like he listened to a troop handler of mine (a staff instructor) at Marine Combat Training in 1995. His advice was “Never waste a hard-on”.

      Sounds like ol’ Jeffy boy wasn’t paying attention during the meeting and perhaps started letting is mind (and browsing) drift elsewhere. Perhaps he thought, “Well, gee, what am I going to do with this. . . .”

  18. SFC D says:

    He’s brought “wanker walking” to a new level.

  19. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I guess they can just call him “Spanky” from here on for “Squishing his Squid” on that Zoom call!

  20. BruteLarson says:

    At the long closed bootcamp I went to, we had a lot of CC’s and shark attack screamers that were of a certain island nationality originally. They interchanged the word ‘simulate’ with ‘stimulate’ a lot. He’s not in their language tree; but maybe he got mixed up and thought it was an erection stimulation.?

  21. Berliner says:

    Who hasn’t confused election with erection. Those of us who vote by mail can do it in their own home.

  22. Skyjumper says:

    “Jeffrey Toobin accused of masturbating”

    And here I thought he was an analyst. 😉

    Sure hope there’s no:
    “Film at 11:00”

  23. rgr769 says:

    As I said on another thread when this incident came up, Jeffie will just go to compulsive masturbaters’ rehab for a few weeks, then spend “more time with his family.” In six months, he will be working again on CNN.

    One of the things I thought was an important character trait for a good lawer (especially, when I was one) was the exercise of good judgment. Toobin is obviously seriously lacking in that department, maybe that is why he doesn’t actually practice law. Somehow, I don’t think jerking off during a Zoom meeting within range of your ‘puter’s camera is an exercise to prudent judgment. “Come on, man!”

    Did he “finish” on camera for the “money shot?” Asking for a friend in the pron biz.

  24. Hack Stone says:

    When he returns to CNN, this will be his bumper music.

  25. 5th/77th FA says:

    Took a cue from Anthony “The” Wiener? Looks like ol’ boy only did it till he needed glasses, so there is that.

    As rgr769 pointed out this tool ( c what I did there?) will get a walk, after all, the demonrats returned a murderer to the Senate to be lionized, elected a rapist (Slick Willy) to be POTUS and are pushing for a possible pedophile and suspected whore to take over in January. What’s a little pud pounding among friends? Who knows, it could’ve been a judging contest with everyone else holding up score cards, judging for overall technique.

    I would say that nothing these sick bastards do surprises me anymore, but they may take it as a challenge.

  26. SFC D says:

    Toobin was representing “The Courts” in their little online roleplay game. It’s obvious he was representing the 9th Circuit Court.

    • Hack Stone says:

      Now we know if the judges wear underwear under their robes.

    • rgr769 says:

      He thought he was representing a Circle-Jerk Court instead of a Circuit Court.

      Anyone know if Toobin is going to be claiming residuals if his little solo pron video makes it to the net?

  27. Sapper3307 says:

    Innocent until proven guilty?

  28. Roh-Dog says:

    CNN, the same “institution” that lets that human cesspool Don Lemon open his worthless mouthhole on a nightly basis? Toobin will be back.
    John Ward (nsfw, irreverent, hilarious):

    (Ps. Sorry I’ve been absent as of late, lots of murdering trees and beers to be drank. Also harvesting the garden, taking care of the quails, ensuring domestic tranquility (without resorting to chemically-induced somnolence via a laced cocktail administered to the moved-in gf. Thanks covid for making THAT a thing)

  29. ninja says:

    This is great! Check out the cartoons in the article. 😉😎

    “Hilarious: Cartoons Re-Captioned With “Jeffrey Toobin Took His D*ck Out On a Zoom Call.”

    “We actually laughed at these New Yorker cartoons … for once. Usually, we just sort of feel judged and annoyed when we see anything from The New Yorker but Ryan Simmons’ handiwork did the trick.”

    “The new game is to replace every new yorker cartoon caption with “Jeffrey Toobin took his dick out on a Zoom call.”

  30. Poetrooper says:

    Or as the Queen of Soul would have asked:

    Who’s Zoomin’ Who?

  31. 11B-Mailclerk says:

    Policy wank

  32. Dean H says:

    Just doing literally what he’s always done rhetorically.

    Name edited to protect PII.