William Derek Church; the Round Ranger
I’ve been giggling like a little girl since I sent this guy to Mary a few weeks ago. He’s like “The Round Marine” and Paul Tillson rolled into one. But his name is William Derek Church (he goes by Derek Church) and these are pictures from his wedding, I guess. He’s on Facebook somewhere, but I can’t find him. You can tell he’s legit because he doesn’t care that his Ranger beret is dressed over the wrong eye, and he wears the full-sized Purple Heart on the wrong side of his uniform.
He’s a steely-eyed killer who can’t be bothered with details like getting his drawers tailored. Yes, that’s a Ranger scroll with no tab on left shoulder;
I almost didn’t bother to get his records, because he has 8TFU written all over him. but we got his records today. He spent about 18 months in the Natural Guard (don’t blame me, blame the NPRC) and over a month on active duty. But he made it to PFC.
And see how the Purple Heart is on the left of his other medals that he’s wearing wrong? Well, that’s because he remembered that the highest medals are supposed to go closest to your heart – but that only counts when you wear them on the left side of your uniform, dingus. It took me forever to disabuse privates of that notion when we got the Valorous Unit Citation to add to the Presidential Unit Citation. They kept trying to put the PUC to the left of the VUC. Privates suck, just ask this guy.
ADDED: Here’s his Facebook, by the way.
Added by Sporkmaster.
It seems that he has another friend who faking along side him, because he was “there”. Also I like how his friend threatens to send the 75th Ranger Battalion on people. As if.
Added by Sporkmaster
Also it seems that we are finding out more about him from his local community.
Category: Phony soldiers
I hope the local news station has a WIDE ANGLE lens handy. Ever wanted to be on TV, William Derek Church?
So this Liaya er liar or kiaya is actually one of those um…gold diggers. Glad to see life outside of military bases hasn’t changed the 70’s! F’ng low life sponges….
Next step is local TV. Sounds like Child Protective Services needs to step in.
This guy is a real piece of work.
Holy shit, how did I miss this thread? This Part is to Church, In so many places around the world right now US service men and women are defending and protecting our way of life. As you and I sit safe in our home my own son is getting ready to deploy on the USS Philippine Sea. My best friends son is in his second deployment in Afghanistan. He has already gotten one Purple Heart this deployment. I cant think of a single Military award that is more unwanted by those that truly have it than the Purple Heart. Let me explain to you the grief and fear that goes along with that Medal. The Mother, Wife, Father ect get a phone call that there loved one is hurt. They dont know how bad or if he will live, they sit and worry. In the hours that follow every possible outcome is played out over and over again. Because you dont know if they will live, if they do will they recover? Friends start to call, Family starts to come over, you have no idea what to say to them any more than they do to you. IF you are lucky you get another call sooner rather than later telling you the status. At the same time you are sitting helpless, the person yo love more than your own life is hurt and 10 thousand miles away and there is not a damned thing you can to to make it better. What worse are the injuries that are bad enough to get the PH but not bad enough to get them out of the combat zone. They sit in a hospital in Afghanistan and try to talk to you VIA skype, while at the same time you are on the phone with the doctor wondering why your loved one had no facial expression, cant find the right word and for all the wold is looking like a scared hurt little boy, rather than the warrior you talk to a few short days before. A few moths go by and he… Read more »
Enigma, I don’t think any apology is necessary, this is a place to speak your mind about things like what the roly-poly Round Ranger did, and you spoke your mind well. I’m an A-Stan Vet myself, and the Purple Heart was awarded to my Comrades who traveled home in a flag-draped casket, thus I have the same animosity toward William Derek Church the roly-poly Round Ranger as everyone else does, and welcome to TAH, I hope we get to hear from you again!
@1265 Thank you Wesley!
Wow. Now that says it all. I hope it gets posted next to any WANTED posters that might pop up in Lenoir.
Maybe it could be made a sticky for every poser to read when they come whining after being outted.
https://www.facebook.com/william.d.church/photos_albums found his new face book under B.A. Barackus check out his photos
I’m MPSSG’S wife. I’ll be glad to pick up the uniform or verify if it was dropped off locally. Just give me the info and I’ll post confirmation here
I have been reading/Commenting on TAH for a few years. I dont comment often because most of the time what I want to say has been said by others. I am a Navy Vet. My Father was Career Army. On Jan 31, 1988 On the USS Coral Sea there was an accident that cost one of my shipmates his life. We were on a Med Cruise, in a storm and a Stupid order was given. AO3 David Wayne Cornell was told to work on one of the Weather decks, the ship took a roll and he was crushed. He was the oldest of three children, the date of his death was also his youngest sisters 14th birthday. His Family had to wait for 10 days for his body. It took several days for the Weather to subside enough to get a COD onbord to fly him off, Even then it was very touchy landing the plane and getting it off again. I know for a fact the only thing anyone was thinking was get him home to his family. It has been my privilege to get to know his youngest sister over the past two years. 26 years later that pain of that families loss is still there. The wish for what could have been will never go away. His was a loss in peacetime and those losses happen every day. Any Vet can relate a story like this. It is not unique in any way other than the name and maybe the circumstance. What they got for giving their son was 50 thousand dollars in SGLI, an honor Guard, a rifle salute, and a folded flag with the thanks of the President and a grateful nation. When my son Enlisted in the Navy I was proud but behind that pride was a measure of fear. As he has advanced some in rank, gone to school ect my pride in the man I see now if great, but that fear has grown. I taught my sons the facts of life, those conversations were awkward but necessary. The conversation I has… Read more »
Dang, Enigma! Talk about softening the battlefield! Very well said and done! Wow!
Re TV: there is no local TV in the Lenoir area…just Charlotte. Local news is buried in with all the big city stuff.
William Derek Church the MEGA CLASS PATHETIC LOSER says that his wife was innocent in all this.
H’mmmmmm. Why then did she say, in a facebook message to me, re: the Blue Mopar, that “He built it from the ground up.”? Based on what she has said on here, and in the one, or was it two, facebook message(s) to me, I am going with her knowing all along that he is a liar, and further, that she felt that with both of them lying about things that they could further scam the people for the free ride that they are on. Early on, fat boy sent me a facebook message, offering his e-mail address, saying that he would set me straight on his service. That was in the same one as when he claimed he would “bury me under the Darby Queen”, (I believe that he thinks “Darby Queen” is a Ft. Benning “Dairy Queen”. I have invested a couple of minutes in typing and sending several e-mails, (in the possibility that the ones before each of them got “lost in the mail”), and have gotten no response.
I will now copy and paste this comment into an e-mail and try one more time to get a response from him.
This marriage seems to be a perfect match up of liars.
Much appreciate your comments, Enigma…heartfelt and to the point. Are you reading this, derek the fatboy poser?
you know,if the westboro baptist church can show up and protest Funerals then we should be able to file, get a permit and picket these guys homes and businesses. I bet that would get some attention from the Media.
From The Round One: “and I have no use for facebook anymore anyway.”
And yet:
https://www.facebook.com/william.d.church/photos
https://www.facebook.com/JAKK.12612?fref=ts
His story about turning in the uniforms to a surplus store fits the pattern of not being able to state one thing that is not a LIE.
Enigma4you – Thank you sir for your service and for your comments. Your comments are a prime reason why this site needs a “like” button IMHO.
@1276 GD,
I pity the fool who cannot spell Mr. T’s fictional character name from The A-Team, correctly.
Let’s keep the pressure on.
Are any locals wstill willing to post the wanted posters in his hometown?
I am not a facebook person, but someone should befriend or message everyone on his friends list and send them a link to this website or wanted poster. At least everyone named with the last name of Church on his friends list needs to be notified
I have reached out to someone i have known most of my adult life that is from that area and has the same last name. I have been thinking that he looks familiar. I think I have it figured out. If this is the guy Im thinking it is he is a real low life.
The good thing about a small town is everyone knows everyone. thats also the bad thing.
I refuse to do facebook as well. I will be damned if I am going to be a companies product.
WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH THE ROLY-POLY ROUND RANGER, just take a look at how Gregory C. Bank’s lies have exploded on him like the A-bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, it could happen to you, too!! You DON’T MESS WITH REAL VETS without consequences!
Very well said, Enigma4you. I couldn’t have stated the case any better.
I would be up for a protest right in front of this conscienceless cur’s residence, if only I could afford the plane ticket. Alas …
I think that’s a good idea as an option for the next step, though.
SJ – Copy on the local TV issue …
I just left some love for his supporters/sockpuppets, et al, over at Topix Lenoir: The first is: To Loser, State of Florida, USA Supporter, and any of the several other supporters of this phony dope and his lyin’ wife: I am going to post 3 messages that I got from him. I will “clean up” the F words that he printed out in full: Message #1 Come talk shit to my face you f@&#$*+ whiner. It was an honest mistake. After you come home with a tbi see how much you remember. You flaming f$#@%*@#. Meet me at the Darby Queen and I’ll bury your smoked ass under it. Message #2 Lost your balls i see. Oh well how about the plagiarism for the stolen pictures? Or the fact that you are libel for your comments for spreading your slanderous remarks? Message#3 In short I could and may sue your sorry ass. William Derek Church,(Goooooogle Hit), also messaged me with what he said was his e-mail address, so that I could reply to him, giving him my e-address, in order to “set me straight” about his service. The coward has never found the balls to reply. His, “Innocent wife”,(that’s a laugh), told me in a Facebook PM that the Blue Mopar in the wedding photos was one that William Derek Church “Built from the ground up”. Another of her many lies. Support him all you want, claim that our efforts here, at Facebook and at “This Ain’t Hell” aren’t doing any good; but facts is facts. He is sweating bullets, wondering when he will find himself standing face to face with a real veteran who will ask nothing more than for him to explain himself. I would not want to be as low as Waddlin’ Willie the Wotund Wanger is. And I followed with: Further, to: To Loser, State of Florida, USA Supporter, and any of the several other supporters of this phony dope and his lyin’ wife: Do any of you even have a clue as to what it means to have earned the Purple Heart medal, to be… Read more »
The only this Church has ever been a part of was the Burger of the Month Club.
Extra turd.
@1282: I was wrong (yet again). There is a small TV station in Hickory WHKY Ch 14. I was there for 6 months last year and never saw it. My friend who was born and raised there said locals usually just watch Charlotte.
Sorry for the bad info and also for suggesting giving this clown a break yesterday.
I think that even trailer trash people have higher standards than these two stumpsucking, drooling, slobbering, brain dead microbes.
And make him get rid of that hat.
Sharpeis do not appreciate this destruction of their image, nor do they wish to be associated with a bloated asswipe like this.
@1283, Frankly O, nice post/bust!! As for Kaiyla (or whatever that female critter’s name is!), every description I’ve ever read about her/it reminds me of THE EX-MONSTER, my Ex-Wife, another “Professional Spouse” and gold-digger (that female critter is so vile, I wish for the day she was born to be erased from the calendar!). Yes, I view Kaiyla as a “Professional Spouse”, a female (alleged) human that marries with the sole intent of leaching every dollar, quarter, nickel, dime and penny she/it can until the source has been bled dry, then divorces and trolls for the next sucker/spouse!
To compare her with a leech degrades the name of that biological parasite!!
E4y: There is just no way to improve upon what you wrote. Thank you for saying it for all of us.
Frankly: Keep up the good work!
So Waddlin’ Willy, the Round Ranger has changed his Facebook to the name of a fictional TV character. William Derek Church (Google hit!!!!!) made a Freudian slip there. I wonder if he meant to choose a Character that matches his own deeds, fictional?
OWB, OldSoldier54: yep.
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=39756
Enigma , again Great Post and glad Jonn has a special post about it. Awesome
@1285 SJ, Its WHKY-TV 14, they also have a talk show radio program.They are most likely an affiliate of a larger station maybe Charlotte. I am waiting to hear back from them, if I dont I will bump it up a notch to the next larger city. I wanted to try and keep it as local as possible since it will be easier for them to show up on his doorstep.
So still waiting on the NCARNG to contact me with the info requested via FOIA and the news to call me back.
Fire Mission has been called in let the rounds fall where they may.
@1292 MSGRetired Thank you sir for taking the point with Derek Church. I left him a couple of posts this morning at the Lenoir Topix. I know they will fall on deaf ears but who knows.
It’s great that he apologized.
One thing that deeply troubles me is that clearly, the family courts are still skewed against the soldier in many states. A guy shouldn’t be penalized for interrupting a child’s status quo when he deploys. It happened to me, and it’s utter garbage. The people that have described what her ex- endured–the double punch humiliation of having her cheat on him with a land-bound dugong and then watching the two degenerate manatees do nothing to enrich his child’s life…this should be worth as much to us as veterans to see corrected as his fake mantle of military awesomesauce.
My sense is that we shouldn’t relent until she surrenders custody to our wronged brother in arms.
@1293 Thanks Sparks but it has been a complete Team effort, lots of TAH readers have been posting on both sites. I just took it upon myself to try and make some additional contacts as it seems Mr Church is showing no signs of coming clean. More and more of the Local folks are adding to this as well so the word is out, now it just needs some media attention. Usually when the media gets involved its a very short period before the LE gets involved.
I take this personal, I was lucky enough to have never been wounded in Combat, but I have lived every Platoon Sergeants worst nightmare, being notified that one of your platoon has been wounded. I still remember the day, just came in from Patrol when my Commander rolled up to tell me and give me a ride over to the CSH on Diamond Back FOB Mosul. I cant tell you how I felt as I walked up to the ER doors and everyone stepped aside so I could enter. Luckily my Soldier only received minor wounds to his face and neck, and a well deserved 2 weeks off mission.
So when I see someone like Church or Banks wearing a Purple Heart that was never earned it just chaps my ass to no end!
Anyway WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH I know E6 gave you a deadline, but I know you wont adhere to it so be prepared, there is no where you can run or hide that we wont find your sorry ass and continue the ridicule you so deserve !
@1294.
Every time you show up I get hungry.
It appears, as is my understanding, that Fat Boy Church might need to work overtime turning tricks at the truck stop to help pay his soon to be legal fees.
1294 BK
Those who know Church say it was not him who posted the half-assed apology. It was his wife sockpuppeting for him.
@1296 GT
Flame Broiled Double Whopper with cheese
/me too
@1299 ChipNasa I am with you on the Double Whopper with cheese and onions. Plus a big thank you for letting me hit…1300!!!!
@1299 and @1300: Dang, I had a double whopper with cheese and bacon for lunch today; ain’t dis a small world!
@1301 Combat Historian I haven’t eaten yet today. Thanks for reminding me about the…BACON! 😀 Yea, that’s the ticket, bacon, bacon and more bacon. You can NEVER have too much bacon.
@1299 to @1302 By the way guys I think all this talk of food, burgers, bacon and so forth has old Derek Church sitting in his recliner, licking his turd stained lips.
MSGRetired: same here. I also came back with no random involuntary unsanitary body piercings acquired under field conditions. But my worst day deployed was pretty much the same as yours. One of my guys was in a convoy that got hit. He also only sustained minor injuries, but the time between finding out about the incident and finding out that he was OK was . . . not good.
That’s one why I posted an article based on Enigma4you’s comment above.
The other is the fact that he’s absolutely correct. Far too many PHs are presented to those who never fully recover – or to NOK because their loved one came home in a box.
the APOLOGY of WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH is 100% empty. This lard ass just e-mailed me, finally, after 4 or 5 sent to him, (at his request). This bastard’s G-mail is: from: Ranger wdchurch76@gmail.com reply-to: Ranger to: frankiecee redacted by me date: Tue, Feb 11, 2014 at 2:11 PM subject: Response mailed-by: gmail.com He wrote: I have posted my apology and do regret the damage i caused. Not only to those i disrespected in uniform but also to my family and friends. I am trying to move on from this. I have tried to make things right and i am still. I didn’t seek any monetary gain from any of this it was simply a lie that got blown way out of control not only by me but through rumors too. I do apologize and as for anything else I owe you nothing more nor do i owe anyone else. Leave my family alone, leave me alone. It’s time to grow up and learn to forgive. Just as i have forgiven all the jokes and threats against me and my family. Thank you. William Church And I felt that was deserving of a reply from me: You piece of shit! You incredible, stinking piece of shit!! You call yourself “Ranger” on your e-mail address! What the hell do you think this is? Some kind of game? You are not, never were, and damned sure never could be a pimple on a Ranger’s ass. Next; What about these messages from you: Message #1 Come talk shit to my face you fucking whiner. It was an honest mistake. After you come home with a tbi see how much you remember. You flaming fucktard. Meet me at the Darby Queen and I’ll bury your smoked ass under it. Message #2 Lost your balls i see. Oh well how about the plagiarism for the stolen pictures? Or the fact that you are libel for your comments for spreading your slanderous remarks? Message#3 In short I could and may sue your sorry ass. Take them one message at a time. Honest mistake? What tbi? Bury me… Read more »
BK, with you on that. The courts could maybe force at least one of them to work to pay child support? Teehee.
What a soap opera. A completely unnecessary soap opera.
William Derek Church,
You have two Choices, You can be a man,,, or be an example.
He’s pissed. See his new rant at Topix Lenoir: http://www.topix.com/forum/city/lenoir-nc/TUGP0Q05KGRJ6AASI/p8
Ooops, looks like the Liar of Lenoir Topix thread at link above got smoked.
And, damn, I didn’t get a screen shot of it.
That was his wife and it seems we have lost the Thread again. I’ll start the new one shortly