This is your fault, Eric Shinseki
Someone sent us this photo from our friends at “Awesome Sh1t My Drill Sergeant Said” and it’s all your fault, Eric Shinseki.
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Category: "Teh Stoopid"
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1977 Pontiac Grand Prix. The tire iron choice for tuning up ass hats since 1977.
My head hurts from reading that fucks ‘resume”. We have another Contestant for next years tourney… The rate they show up though, we could probably have a Bi-Annual event.
“75th Mountain Rangers Battalion”
Cop: You were in ‘Nam? So were we. Where?
Billy Ray Valentine: I was in…Sang Bang… Dang Gong… I was all over the place, a lot of places.
Cop: What unit?
Billy Ray Valentine: I was with the Green Berets, Special Unit Battalions… Commando Airborne Tactics… Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion. Yeah, it was real hush hush.
ROFLMAO!!
I would have liked to be in the room when he told the Korean seamstress woman to embroider the jump wings over the CIB.
I love the resume and three year deployment w/ Bat.
This dude is all kinds of fucked up.
I said pepperoni and onions…dumbass!
@29 – HOLY CRAP, he’s hot! SOOOO HOT! And soooo masculine!
*swoon*
I think I came across his phone number (assuming it didn’t change). It’s 503-828-4144. His company appears to be in Oregon, either in Portland or Beaverton. I say this because a friend of mine came across a screenshot of a pic from the Ft. Jackson Leader of a post made back on 12 SEP 2012. The guy was claiming to have “cancer” and looking for another Soldier. He gave the company name (Mace’s Bailbonds) and that’s how Beaverton popped up. Not 100% positive, but it sure looks like it’s our guy…
Okay I hate to say it but his bio says he graduated high school from Durham, NC. Being an original Tarheel, from Durham, I am sad and ashamed. Lived out west since 1979. As of now consider this my new home. I went to Durham High School, the oldest in the city. The people that went to Southern High were, well all pussy faggots. I am so upset to find this guy was from my hometown. I can’t find his bail company in an search of Durham so I am hoping he got his ass whooped by some real Tarheels and they sent him packing.
@58 Please be right. That means he is out of North Carolina!
It’s been *BUGGING* me who this turdball looks like and I FINALLY got it….
http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/636/884/Hank_Hill_display_image.jpg?1295028452
@ 46- As for this clown’s security clearance claims, I highly doubt he has one for the simple fact that I doubt he would actually ever have the need for one. The highest he probably ever had (assuming he ever served that is) was probably a secret. Also, a Top Secret needs to be renewed very 5 yrs, so I’d really like to know how he was able to keep it “active” after he allegedly “retired,” know what I mean?
Roger that, Static-line. I doubt there is much need for a TS/SCI bail-bondsman.
In the words of the immortal Green Thumb…
“Whatta turd.”
(Rights Reserved. Patent Pending.) 🙂
@61 LOL!!!!!! you’re awesome!!!!!!
“1988 – 2001 US Army – 82nd Airborne – 75th Rangers Group
1988-1989 — 82nd Airborne
1989-1990 — 75th Rangers Battalion
1990-1991 — Sniper School
Continued education in Ranger and Sniper school
Retired Sept 2001”
I bet all you former Rangers are laughing at this blurb in his resume.
Ok, scooter, I’ll try and help you a little bit:
It’s the 75th Ranger Regiment, you fucking ‘tard, not “group”. As for “Rangers Battalion”; drop the “s” at the end of Ranger and add a numeric identifier to which Battalion it was you were in, numbnuts, i.e. 1st Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, etc. Also, there’s this: “75 ranger grup at fort bragg”………..75th Ranger Regimetal HQ is at Ft. Benning, moron, along with 3rd Battalion. 1st Battalion is at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, Georgia, and 2nd Battalion is at Ft. Lewis, Washington (or, as it is now known Joint Base Lewis/McCord).
Now, if you want to be a poser with some semblance of knowing what the hell you’re doing, you will drop the long tab, since you don’t have that duty assignment in your resume or schooling. I’m just trying to help you out, buddy, so take my advice.
Now back to our program already in progress.
I wondered what was wrong with that hat, then I figured it out. First, it looks like the beret that was issued to WAVES as part of the 1974 change to the dress uniform. That didn’t stick, because I saw it only once and I think it was dumped by 1980.
Second, it’s too small.
And third, it’s not worn correctly for ANY branch of ANY service.
That is all..
@ 66- Oh I don’t know about that, this guy is wearing his beret in accordance with the Iraqi Army’s uniform standards 😉 Interesting that he’s revealed to have grown up in NC. Well, for all you tarheels, I wouldn’t be ashamed. Look at it this way, if it’s confirmed he’s living in Oregon now, then it’s their problem…
Name tape should say “Burglar” not “Berger.” First name, “Turd.”
ok, I have this guys new nick name, it’s Spc “ass” Berger, because with the mouth breathing, the way he stands, and that FUBAR uniform, he HAS to have aspergers, AKA “Ass burgers”
Yep, he went to Ranger School…in North Carolina that is….
http://webapps6.doc.state.nc.us/opi/viewoffender.do?method=view&offenderID=0056810&obscure=Y&listpage=&listurl=
http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/North-Carolina/Durham-County-NC/Mace-Berger.1260241.html
This guy is a stud. He spent an entire year training at Sniper School and managed to spend 3 straight years with the Rangers in Iraq after retiring within days of 9/11 (and only at 13 years TIS). And his clearance (if he ever had one) would have expired long ago.
@68 I was thinking it might “Ham”….still out of uniform if he’s the Ham Burglar but at least it would explain the chins…
Crap, he’s got a picture of the USS Blueback on his Facebook. The next claim will be diesel boat sailor.
When did the Rangers have “groups” and when was a “Ranger Group” ever assigned to Bragg? If he spent a year at sniper school, he must have the record for recycles.
@72 – he’s fat enough to have eaten a ton of ham, that’s fo sho!
He’ll always be a Turd to me! 🙂
Wow, and he violated an order of protection too. Judging by his photo, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was a kiddie diddler.
We need to go over there and forcibly remove that uniform. With a pair of pliers.
Time to break out the big guns….
“Scum sucking twatwaffle”
😉
Shit-slurping herpesaurus.
#73: Our former and abandoned comrades, the Army of the Republic of Vietnam (ARVN), had ranger battalions formed into ranger groups. ARVN had five ranger groups, with each corps having a ranger group assigned to it, and a fifth group assigned to the Saigon Capital region. I’m sure assburger will now claim he was a Vietnam vet and served as an advisor to the ARVN Rangers…
#78 That would be quite a trick…
Having graduated high school in 1988. LOL!
Gosh, I almost feel bad picking on a person with such mental defects. Wait….OK, now I don’t feel bad…what a fucking assclown. It looks like he went through an old US Army unit phone book and mixed shit up.
WTF is a “Level 2” law enforcement? It sounds like he may have worked in a jail…or some shit.
You guys know who else he reminds me of……(it’s the beret)
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ymecPMaym1k/TLEhQkBd84I/AAAAAAAAC-0/B0kE3pu8tug/s1600/oldboy.jpg
and the 5 chins.
and the tub of goo.
and the gaping cockholster (thanks TAH for that nomenclature)
/I love you all.
@80 maybe he meant level 2 sex offender….
#80 With his criminal record, “level 2” law enforcement probably was mall cop (and even they have hiring standards that would reject this douchenozzle).
Well, that rap sheet would explain why he may be in Oregon now, lol!
#57: Nicki, LTC Smith kinda looks like me, but only on my BAD days 🙂
@85 – PHOTOS PLEEZ! 😀
I’ll take an order of LTC Smith with a side of LTC Smith, please. Oh. Holy. Gawd.
Unauthorized embroidery. Army directive 2011-11 allows sewn on badges, as provided via the PX system. It says nothing about direct embroidery on the ACU.
The bottom badge should be 1/8 inch above the name tape, and the top badge should be a quarter of an inch above the bottom badge.
The CIB is wrong, and in “inverse” colors. The wreath is black, and the musket is black. The background around the musket should be olive green, or something close to it.
It’s a group 1 badge, so it goes on the top.
I don’t know what the top badge is, with the triangle on the top… the Annunaki Illuminati badge?
@59. Y’all wouldn’t have tar on your heels if y’all could figure out what shoes are for, LOL. (And I can say that because I have kin in NC.)
I don’t know how you Army boys keep all this shit straight. is it a special class in bootcamp? 🙂
Navy is simple. You either on the boat or ship, or you not. and everyone can tell what you do for a living by looking at your crow.
Hey, one thing no one’s pointed out yet (I think) … correct me if I’m wrong, but all those tabs look like desert/coyote color on the digital grey/green ACU. Another no-no, no?
@29 – LTC Smith is more man than any man should be allowed to be. He looks like he could reach out of the screen and throttle a poser with his cold penetrating stare, a la Lord Vader.
@89 I’ll admit we have a lot of stuff to keep track of on our uniforms. It requires some experience to spot these discrepancies, but that’s part of military leadership.
And why the fuck is he standing at attention?
@93. Look at his hands…That’s no position of attention. It’s more like position of a tent peg.
@94.
Good point.
Right face! Drop chute! Green Light!
“Turdberger”
Maybe it’s just my eyes, but that certainly looks like an old-style brown t-shirt this “fine soldier” is wearing vice the sand-colored one used with the ACU.
@97 – Hondo, when the ACU first came out, a message was issued that allowed the old brown t-shirt and black web belt to be worn with the ACU. As far as I know, that message has never been rescinded. Now, I’ve never seen anyone actually wear the brown t-shirt with the ACU – probably because the brown t-shirt does stick out, and t-shirts are inexpensive, folks just bought the light-colored shirt to fit in. To this day, though, I wear my black belt with ACUs; since it’s covered by the ACU top no one ever sees it anyway.
This pathetic f##k is currently a bounty hunter? I think I’ll start a life of crime…
Colostomy bag, leaky….
What you folks are missing is the best part. I understand that there’s another pic taken from behind. The trousers are cut and his butt is hanging out.
@29. Frank O. That pic is priceless! I can hear Smith now, “You have a choice. You can kick your own ass right now or I will do it for you. Three…two…”