Weekend Open Thread
This week’s photo is thanks to Daniel Bernath. It’s a picture of a Fort Myers police officer expertly disarming an IED contained in a coconut left on Mr Bernath’s property.
Here’s another photo from Mr Bernath of the vandalism that occurred on his property. I can’t condone this kind of mindless, excessive violence being perpetrated against Mr Bernath.
Category: Open thread
lMAO! 👿
Dammit!
😈
I don’t know this clown, but the few things I have read here…whats to keep anyone from thinking he did this himself for sympathy?
@desert
He did…that’s why this is funny.
The guys do stupid when someone yelled duck, he looks up and says where? He should of went to Nam
Does this count as the first FIRST??
LUCKY LUCKY ! ! ! !
As per 2/17 Air Cav, I respectfuly request to amend my comment to say
“FIRST!”
Thank You. 🙂
1st!
New Bernie Sanders Drinking Game
Every time Bernie says “free”, grab someone else’s beer and drink it.
▲▲▲▲ Like ▲▲▲▲
**And Toasty knocks the boys on their bums*** lol 🙂
Yay Toastie! **LIKE**
Sixth 🙂
Holy Shit !!!!!!
You Can’t Make This Shit Up
Apparently, someone is making it up.
coconuts LMFAO ! ! ! !
Coconuts Help ! ! ! somebody’s planting coconuts on my property in south Florida
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA ! ! ! !
somebody lock him up before he hurts himself Lol.
🙂
🙂
#CoconutzLivesMatter
My friends finally believe the turd exists..
mine too.. it was a while but my brother was the first to see the light, then again he is a test pilot for Hawker Beechcraft… I guess his Boss has been following this nut for a while
also….. 🙂 🙂
then every one else started to laugh there ass off like I have been that’s the reason I always say
-you can’t make this shit or stuff up- 🙂
SEVEN!
If you only knew what raucous laughter erupted over this….!
@Ex-PH2
Check your incomings…wildly funny message for you 🙂
Right back atcha, TC!
The coo-coo-nuts non-IED is not a laughing matter.
This is of an unspeakable nature!
And the up-ended trash can …
When you combine both of these incidents, you have a case of a coconut and a trash can!
It had to be raccoons. They wear black masks, you know.
Raccoons? You mean Garbage Can Pandas? I wonder if Daniel A. Bernath the Fred Phelps clone will sue the Florida Department of Fish and Wildlife over this, maybe add them to his next wacko lawsuit like when he had NASA and Social Security on one of them. I heard rumor that he was seen standing in a supermarket aisle for at least thirty minutes staring at a container of frozen orange juice because it said “CONCENTRATE” on it!
We have a bit of a coyote problem here. Apparently a pair of coyotes came across a causeway bridge spanning the Indian River and settled into a park. They took over a den and had kids.
They also took care of the feral cat problem in the park as well as chowing down on the occasional domestic cat out for a nighttime stroll.
People freaked out.
Cities held meetings on the coyotes. Pamphlets were printed up and mailed to residents. Trappers were called in. Traps were set. Infrared cameras were set in the park trying to find the coyotes in order to capture and then release them in a wildlife refuge in the county.
Florida Wildlife was called in for advice. The advice was not what people expected:
It is illegal to capture and relocate a coyote.
The only alternatives are to let the rout be, or to kill them all. You can imagine the fight as to whether they should be killed.
The trappers pulled the traps and the cameras, packed and left, the only remnants of their coming to the barrier islands is their bill.
Thousands of dollars spent with no plan and no results.
Your government at work.
You’ll have to go all Bill Murray on their ass!
I haven’t seen that movie in so long!
You have no idea how vicious they are! They’re horrible! Horrible, I tell you!
The action starts around 1:49 in this video.
https://youtu.be/VUjFf9Ptg5U
Put de lime in de coconut,
Den you feel better!
… and call me in the morning …
No, I am First.
It doesn’t count as a legitimate first unless the word FIRST is spelled out in it’s entirety.
LMAO or IMAO or 1st are not acceptable acronyms for being the first comment on the WOT.
So There. Live with it. It’s in the rulebook if you take the time to check it out. / Smile
As further proof, just ask 2/17 Air Cav.
He is the Weekend Open Thread Parliamentarian when subjects like this are brought to the floor for discussion.
Although Toasty’s comment appears first in this WOT, she failed to declare that she was first. For all she knew, she was second or third. More importantly, a time-honored practice has been firmly established itself here, requiring a declaration of first for each WOT. Consequently, without a declaration of first, the initial commenter is not officially first. It takes a declaration AND the appearance of the declarant’s comment in the first position in the thread. Thus, history is made today: No one is first.
Toasty, if I were you, I would request leave to amend. I see no reason why you cannot attach “First!” to your own initial comment.
Point of order!
If there is no First!, can there be a thread?
Claw~
You’re just mad that a girl beat you lol… 😀
No, I’m not either. Girls are icky.
Puts tail between legs, whimpers and slinks off to hide behind the couch.
Smile.
@Claw
Awww poor darlin’…
***Leaves you a plate of warm raspberry cheesecake cookies***
Thanks, Toasty. Those raspberry cheesecake cookies will continue the string of cheesecake for dessert every night that started this past Wednesday when I had Cherry Cheesecake as part of my celebration for completing another lap around the sun.
And I’m sorry I called you icky, it was a spur of the moment thing. I got nuthin but love for all you girls.
(Does this mean I can get hot chocolate with those little marshmallows in it for apologizing?)
Sorry Claw, sprinkles are for winners.
You’re just upset because a certain Sgt Maj hasn’t gotten back with us yet.
Yep, you’re right about that. I have a couple of nits to pick with SGM Straw Grasper. I wish he would show up again on the LSoS Killam thread.
First being how he thinks he rates a Bronze Service Star on the NDSM for the Vietnam period even though he was a DEP Poolee when the period ended.
Second is that M1 Tank ball bearing he carries around in his pocket that he uses as a *Military Bearing* check. More on that later.
I’ll keep checking back then.
Straw Grasper is claiming 3 NDSM? Time to post this on Killer Killam’s site as well as bringing this to someone’s attention in the US Army Food Chain. Speaking of Food Chain: Hope you enjoyed your hot chocolate and cookies courtesy of Toastie Coastie. 🙂
Yep, it’s posted right there on the William J. Gainey Wikipedia biography page.
It clearly shows the NDSM with two Bronze Service Stars listed in the awards and decorations section despite only having the Cold War and the GWOT listed as conflicts.
You can also read the malarkey about his *Military Bearing* challenge in his biography. To me, that sounds like some pretty lame crapola meant only to feed his ego.
Thanks. The cocoa and cookies were great. Hit the spot after doing the daily duties of shoveling another 4/5 inches of partly cloudy off the driveway/sidewalk.
Claw: This makes my blood boil. Makes my guts puke. Makes me $*!*#/ MAD. For the sake of the thread, will try to keep this short. Straw Grasper is another Richard Cayton Wannabee who happens to reside in the same neck of the woods in Texas. Just as Cayton, he will probably get away with this. After all, he WAS the first SEAC which has been emphasized over and over again. Last: Straw Grasper has a deep, dark secret that I won’t mention on TAH. The only hint I can give you is that you look at his Relatives and do a GOOGLE on that person. Kinda sad in a way. Spring is around the corner, so your snow shovelling days should soon be over. The BS folks pull? Never.
Well, after reviewing PV9 Gainey’s Facebook friends, he is friends with a person surnamed Cayton.
And if you look at that person’s Facebook profile picture, one of the men sitting in the picture bears a very strong resemblance to the aforementioned Richard Cayton.
Coincidence or known association?
YMMV, but Leroy Jethro Gibb’s rule about coincidence may apply in this case.
Lots of relatives by surname listed as Facebook friends to try and do a Google search on, so may not go digging that deep.
@ Claw
**Leave you a cup of Hot chocolate with little marshmellows to go with your cookies**
🙂
OK, now we’re good to go.
Hot chocolate and cookies are right up my alley to fight off the winter blues and cabin fever.
Yeah, I got chocolate mousse with whipped cream and chocolate curls over here.
Don’t feed the animals!
or
No flirting unless you brought enough for everyone!
Your pick.
Grimmy, I ALWAYS fix enough for everyone. It’s just sad to see even one empty plate.
Damn, a real live cocuboom. Lucky cop.
NINTH, dammit! 😀
Bernath = Loser.
And Phildo still works balls.
No change here.
Did he REALLY file complaints of vandalism and terroristic threats over that? How long before they either lock him up in a padded cell, or at least label him as a vexatious litigant and a chronic filer of frivolous complaints?
I’d tell you Eden, but I don’t want to give ole Berdbath any ideas…..
He’s done sillier shit than that.
Dear Bernutless,
Rustle, rustle, bitch.
damn, my trash collectors vandalize my place twice a week then. It’s almost like they’re on a schedule or something.
You know, bad things tend to happen to idiots who do crap like this. See Wolf, The Boy Who Cried.
In this case, however, NTTAWWT.
I’m pretty sure that the 911 dispatch center already has a * next to his name in all the files on their computers with the notation that he’s a 10-96(mental case).
*LIKE*
So Daniel A. Bernath the Fred Phelps clone shit a truckload of flaming squirrels over a coconut left in his yard, I wonder if he would have called the FBI, SWAT and EOD if someone left him a watermelon?
No, he would of called the assclown, heated it up and had a warm place to put their prick’s.
Didn’t Freud say that sometimes a coconut is just a coconut? I might be paraphrasing a bit….
Daniel,,,, Daniel,,,, Daniel. you sir, are a dumbass.
Sorry BFG, but you know he’s not going to read anything you have to say.
Right–it’s not showing on his handy-dandy iPad GPS thingy.
Damn, you called him Sir..I believe asswipe is his title….
I bet the local Deputies are frigging ecstatic that Burr-gnat moved into their jurisdiction. Almost as happy as the LEO’s of Oregon are that he departed theirs.
I heard that he raised the collective IQ of the town in OR by leaving it!
I’m with ya Danny boi, the same person that vandalized your property has been causing ice and frost to form on my Truck for the past two weeks in Kansas. Together we can catch the evildoer!
Bernath,
A bit of friendly advice, if I may?
FOAD. Soon.
The horror! The horror! Never before have I witnessed such wanton destruction and lack of concern for humanlife! We are a doomed species. DOOMED I SAY!
If I was somewhere Swahili was spoken I would say “KUTOMBA WEWE!” To Daniel A. Bernath the Fred Phelps clone.
Well well. Learn something new every day.
It might not be a coconut.
It could be a steaming pile of Phil Monkress that he stepped in and he was checking his shoe.
Just saying….
It’s another Friday… so here’s my shout out to the Bernutless Wonder and his Felching Buttbuddy, QuEeFeRs!!! Keep on enjoying those DRG “Cocktails” when you have your daily get-together worrying about when the POPO or other LEO’s are going to “cometh” to your respective residences and take you away to your new homes – the local pound you in the ass jail, where you can make new “friends”… Thor, Bubba, Julio and Mr. “Tiny”.
A little weekend greeting for the DRC.
Language warning.
You have to click on the maury povitch link that comes up at the end. hahahahahhaahhaah
What I want to know is WHY people title recipes ‘carbonara’ when they use an Alfredo sauce?
Carbonara is not Alfredo. Alfredo is a creamy cheese sauce. Carbonara is sauteed pancetta or bacon with onions. And the sauce is beaten eggs tempered with the pasta water so that they won’t ‘cook’ until you dip the pasta into them to coat it.
I am putting my foot down on this. I will NOT tolerate Alfredo pretending to be Carbonara! I simply will not!
Perhaps they meant “hollandaise”?
(ducking)
Dutch people?
Dutch people from Italy? Really, Mailclerk! I never expected that from you.
I was attempting the absurd pun on
“hollandaise” = Holland-eese = “Dutch people”
….
Thus, why I do not make my living in Stand-Up Comedy….
Nothing to do with dutch… French
I thought carbonara were Italian climate credits for when you needed to burn a tree or something?
Check with Guido.
Oh. So that’s a trashcan. At first glance it looked like another mailbox missing a door.
These guys do seem to have fairly consistent issues with doors, lids, and other inanimate objects. And words. Court orders as well. Maybe even owning and operating things like cars and aeroplanes. We must not forget family members and business associates – they can’t seem to keep those in line either.
Last year I drove past the corporate headquarters of a software vendor in Bethesda, and they didn’t have kids on their trashcans in the driveway. It added an air of distinction to the neighborhood.
If they were kids, they would be Garbage Pail Kids. He didn’t have LIDS on his trashcans either.
I used to put neighborhood kids on my trashcans but everyone complained.
http:///images/nofuel.jpg
AHH CHIT!!!
This one should work.
http://azctflyer.com/images/nofuel.jpg
BurntNuts at his finest.
Bad LEO’s though:
No reflective Belt
No 300yd radius on the IED.
No MRAP to fight off terrorist.
What kind of world do we live in when a “Never Was Phony BOI” cannot sue everybody without harassment.
Number 54! Hey my age…I so wish!
Burr-Nuts Haiku:
Man crashes airplane
Is mocked in pilot forums
Next time fuel the plane
Burr-Nuts Haiku:
Cocoanut falls down
An IED it must be
Vandals it must be
Its gravity’s fault lets sue em.
Shit, that last line was supposed to read ‘Vandals I tell you’.
On the ground
I saw a Dickhead
paper-thin
Karma had smashed him
The police should have used an anti-bomb robot on that coconut and uploaded the video to YouTube.
Lol Daisy Cutter! Like in “Bomb Squad Afghanistan” where the robot rolls out with 5 lbs of C4 and detonates it in place. Love that idea!
http://www.military.com/video/explosions/detonations/eod-uses-robot-to-drop-c4-on-ied/1547202582001
Fresh Meat:
(from Fox News) –
Official: Some Clinton emails ‘too damaging’ to release
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/01/29/official-some-clinton-emails-too-damaging-to-release.html
As some posters have already pointed out in earlier commments:
FBI investigators looking into the emails are focused on the criminal code pertaining to “gross negligence” in the handling and storage of classified information, and “public corruption.”
“The documents alone in and of themselves set forth a set of compelling, articulable facts that statutes relating to espionage have been violated,” a former senior federal law enforcement officer said. The source said the ongoing investigation along the corruption track “also stems from her tenure of secretary. These charges would be inseparable from the other charges in as much as there is potential for significant overlap and correlation.”
Based on federal regulations, once classified information is spilled onto a personal computer or device, as was the case with Clinton and her aides, the hardware is now considered classified at the highest classification level of the materials received.
Rgrds,
How to properly disarm a bomb.
Having dealt with people like Noah Gas in a previous occupation, I guarantee his address is already flagged. Probably everyone in the department has responded for his frivolous bullshit and when he calls, he gets a report number and a 2 paragraph report that goes nowhere. The bitch who cried wolf, etc. When the grim reaper finally calls his ass to the final meeting, I’m sure the line at his grave to “water the daises” will be long and distinguished.
I been gone a while, buy it’s good to know Bernasty is still providing entertainment. Hope I haven’t missed too much good stuff
not much with him.. same shit, different day 🙂
Really!? A fucking coconut!? That dumbass claimed it was an IED!? What a pussy. Our women folk on this site have more balls than he does. FFS Lars has more balls than him!
What a self important blowhard! He actually believes that he’s important enough for someone to not only tip his garbage can over (oh the humanity!!!), but to waste time and energy turning a coconut into an IED and putting it by his fucking mailbox! Maybe he should invest in a camera pointing out towards his front yard, so he can capture the miscreants doing their nefarious activities and that way, then next time he calls the po-po, he has actual proof of the crime being perpetrated. Of course, the video would be blank, since the only bad guys reside in his pointy little head.
Fucking moron
Fort Myers seems a tad too north for coconuts. I’m guessing that the FBI Crime Lab may be needed here to determine whether the coconut is an import or homegrown. Also, I am wondering whether the garbagemen were interviewed. I see no garbage on the ground, suggesting that it was just picked up. And as we all know, if a garbageman doesn’t like you, the can is usually not upright and its lid somewhere nearby. Then there’s the wind factor. An empty plastic receptacle doesn’t usually do well in a stiff breeze. Hmmmm. Yeah, I think this may be a federal matter.
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Graffiti found on the men’s room wall at Tigard Airport.
(E\’ F)= Bernutskey
Cornfield 4 miles ->
Used catheters? I collect; call me at 1-80!-BER-NUT$key
The Shrillary classified give away pisses me off. How many uniformed folks have gotten their peckers hammered over an innocent screw up? A bud of mine in a VERY secure area in the Pentagon’s Joint Chiefs of Staff area in the Pentagon left a Confidential doc on his desk…inside a secure area inside the Pentagon. He got a career ending Art 15.
Shrillary’s shit isn’t “just” routine classified…it is SAP shit. I’m not a rocket scientist but I’d know if “someone” (cough cough Huma) sent me “unmarked” satellite imagery, I’d know it wasn’t FOUO. Same for HUMINT…it is very obvious that it is HUMINT, even if not marked. But, what do I know (H/T MCPO)
We’ve talked earlier about how serious SAP shit is. And then I see the State Dept spokesman, a fucking retired Admiral (link http://www.state.gov/r/pa/ei/biog/242436.htm),poo poo’s this as being no big deal. Yet another case of senior military being pussies and no balls.
I can’t believe no one has posted this!
Buncha damn slackers here!
Not sure, but I might have stumbled on the transcript of that emergency call. What do you think? 911: 911 Emergency, what is your emergency? Caller: I have a coconut IED in my front yard. 911: What? You have a coconut in your front yard, sir? Caller: No, no, it’s a coconut with an IED in it. 911: You have an IED in your possession? Caller: No! No! It’s a coconut with an IED in it! And my bushes are rustling, too! 911: I want to understand what you’re saying, sir, but it’s a bit unclear. Could you repeat what you’ve told me, clearly and slowly, so that the recording is very clear? Caller: I have a coconut in my front yard with an IED in it. It was put there by someone. 911: Okay, well, do you know who put it there, sir? Caller: I think so. 911: Okay, well, can you tell me, who did it? Was it Bigfoot? Was it a wookie? A yeti? Caller: No, I believe it was put there by a seal. 911: Excuse me, sir – by a what? Caller: By a seal. 911: By a seal? Caller: Yes. 911: Okay, well, what kind of seal was it, sir? There are several kinds of seals, you know. Could you be specific? Caller: I believe it was a Navy seal. 911: A Navy seal? I didn’t know the Navy had seals. Are you talking about a harbor seal? That would be rare. I think the circus left town a few weeks ago. They didn’t report any escaped seals. Caller: No! No! A Navy seal. From a seal team. You know what I mean – the special forces. 911: I’m afraid I’m not familiar with any of the Navy’s animal training programs, sir, but I can find out if any of their trained animals have escaped and are wandering around with coconuts. Caller: You aren’t taking me seriously. You’re just a horrible person. I’m a taxpayer and I –! 911: Sir, I’m just doing my job and trying to be very clear about your call.… Read more »
Five Beers, admit it, you were the 911 operator weren’t you?
Shhh! It’s all confidental – whatever my hyjeniss says.
Five beers, you know that makes you “one short of a six pack” don’t you. Perhaps you need to rethink your handle.
Four is really all I can handle. Turn the sound down, mate.
http://www.fostersbeer.com/
Everything is (hic) confidential or something. Where’s the lime?
I Need More Fire Water.
White Crazy Man Is Full of Coconuts..
If he would of said IUD, a women dispatcher would of understand he’s fucking a coconut who uses a IUD, not to get pregnant…
John Giduck – the turd with a face!
https://youtu.be/r1xsfeT3Nfs
Found LMAO!!!!!!
I found him last night, drinking out of the toilet bowl. He made some gargling noises when he disappeared into the nether regions of the plumbing.
Mr. Hanky or Daniel A. Bernath the Fred Phelps clone?
Mr. Hanky
Darn!
JUST THINK about how many people would be SO happy and joyful if Daniel A. Bernath disappeared like I did!
No law enforcement officer would go within 100 ft of a supposed bomb…call the bomb squad. Obviously the officer could see it was a fucking coconut….
?
I think Sparkle Pony Bernath just might be suffering from a form of Virchow-Seckel syndrome. Either that or he caught the dreaded coconut flu..
This man has a very dangerous obsession with IEDs. He claimed that I was blown up by an IED here in Oregon. He claimed that I was placing IEDs on I-5. Now, he’s believing that fresh fruit has IEDs in it? The fact that there is video evidence he has a pistol is what’s worrying me. With his mental instability, I think that he might try to hurt himself and try to blame it on someone else.
I second what you have said here it maybe coming to a head…
coconuts and trash cans should be keeped at last 500 meters away from him at all times Lol..
It wouldn’t be the first time.
Wait – if you were blown up, how are you posting comments? Did you glue yourself back together? I’m confused.
The Army glued me back together, but they couldn’t find my kneecap. Instead, they put part of a G.I.Joe where my kneecap used to be. At least they used good superglue.
In a pinch, a coconut shell makes a great artificial kneecap.
I’ve come to the realization that I enjoy the comments here as much as, if not more than, the actual postings. No offense intended to Jonn or Hondo, or anyone else that makes the actual postings.
But when it’s 0232hrs and I can’t sleep, man the comments make me laugh.
Yeh it’s 1238 my time it’s like being in the Army or Marines or Navy and last Air Force shit I almost forgot Coast Guard Hmmm all over again
BHWHAHAHAHA!!!!
Laughter is good for the soul. Vacates all that stale air in your lungs, lowers your blood pressure, does all kinds of wonderful things.
Sometimes I’m laughing so hard while reading the comments here that my kids come into the room to make sure I’m ok.
I’m surprised that Bernath didn’t also scream that the coconut was being used to spy on him.
Everyone knows that coconuts have eyes!
They also have milk, Marine. Think of the coconut!
So…. Coconuts are mammals?
Oh, you haven’t seen the coconut monkey, have you?
Here is the coconut monkey.
https://youtu.be/J1Xf53ljCMg
You Are On It LMAO.
🙂
Maybe a monkey did it? Maybe it’s Bernath wanting to SPANK someone else’s monkey?
With Danny now living in Florida, he needs to be careful of Florida’s Baker Act. This act allows the state to involuntarily institutionalize anyone that;
A) is a harm to self, harm to others, or self neglectful (as defined in the Baker Act).
B) possibly has a mental illness (as defined in the Baker Act).
The one small aspect of the Baker Act is that it can be initiated by a law enforcement officer and not just by judges or mental health professionals, so if he keeps this kind of behavior up he may very well find himself in a loney-bin for at least 72 hours, and that is just for the evaluation.
Perhaps we could persuade him to send us a box of Key limes for Key lime pie when they come on the market?
You had me at key lime… but I wouldn’t trust anything from Bernath.
The moment he opens his mouth about how his being locked up is an American Legion plot, and how they ordered the police to do it, he’ll be spending a great deal of time in the Laughing Academy. At least, one can only hope.
Daniel A. Bernath DOES NOT KNOW ME EITHER.
As Long as you don’t post anything that’s true about Bernath, he won’t harass the ? out of you
Speaking of Key lime pie, it’s supposed to be a summer dessert. It used to be made with a meringue on top, but I hate detest merinque, so I will make it this summer with a whipped cream top, instead. I can do the same thing with lemon pie. But most important of all, since everything can be frozen for later use, I can also make a chocolate mousse pie (AKA French silk) with a really seriously dark chocolate mousse, a whipped cream top and a ganache.
I am SO looking forward to summer.
I need a good recipe for French silk pie!
I will find a good recipe for French Silk pie and for Key lime pie, too.
Me likey!
So, you mentioned baking one for every member on TAH, right? 😛
Awww, poor Flagwaver wants him some chocolate mousse pie.
Sacrilège! #Tartes Meringue importance.
With apologies to the candy factory:
MAYBE this is a clue as to “The Coconutter”‘s message: