Fecal Four: Ballduster, Hillar, Matthis and ____?
Well, here it is, the final matchup, and it’s a real battle for the ages, Soup the Hood v. Ghenghis Fraud!
1) MSGT Soup Sandwich – Nick Androsky
He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor,
He stood up to the man and he gave him what for.
Our love for him now, ain’t hard to explain,
The hero of RTB, the man they call Soup!
Our Soup saw the Rangers’ backs breakin’
He saw the Rangers lament
And he saw those instructors takin’
Every honor and leavin’ five cents
So he said, “You can’t do that to my people”
“You can’t crush them under your heel”
Soup strapped on his hat
And in five seconds flat
Stole every medal the PX had to steal…..
VS
2) “Gunny” – George Gunny Lauve
“There came into the world a blue-gray wolf
whose destiny was Heaven’s will.
His wife was a fallow deer.
They traveled together across the inland sea
and when they were camped near the source of the Onan River
in sight of Mount Burkhan Khaldun
their first son was born, named Gunny Lauve.”
— SECRET HISTORY OF THE MONGOLS
So, there it is folks. Who joins his Stolen Valor Brethren in our Fecal Four? Will it be the Soup Sandwich himself, or Gunny Lauve? Poll after the jump….
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Category: Politics
You ripped off Firefly for this contest? Dude, my image of you is blown. And I like Adam Baldwin, too.
I don’t know if I should laugh or cry at your use of Janes song.
Gunny is the Fraud of Frauds. Soup Sandwich’s nuts were flown in by a CH-47 when he showed up at the fort. I can’t put a gnat’s eyelash between the two in the match up.
Can I be, or would it be bad taste, soup sandwich for halloween??
Somebody give me a little credit, my alteration of the Ballad of Jaybe Cobb fits perfectly here. In fact, I am chuckling at my own joke, which makes it Teh Funniez.
Jeebus, I have to go change my pants….I spilled coffee in my lap and then apparently tried to piss out the stain…
This is the toughest vote, so far, in the whole contest. The stupid is strong in Soup Sammich showing up at Benning dressed as he was, however, “Gunny” wasn’t even in the Corps, but rather Navy and didn’t take part in any of his supposed battles that he bragged about.
So, do we vote for pathetic and terminally stupid, or do we vote for purposeful Stolen Valor that lasted over 40 years? Which is the bigger douchenozzle?
No, TSO. Gunny will always be the miserable asshole Jayne kicked out to lighten the load (if you aren’t a Firefly fan don’t bother.)
But because you have committed blasphemy against the Church of Mal, I get to refer to you again for one day only as the long lost twin as the guy from the Taxmasters commercial.
What’s firefly?jk
Agree with #2; BLASPHEMER!!
GEAUX SOUP !!!!
Gotta go with Gunny Lauve. Agree with Old Trooper. Soup was a piker compared to the decades of BS Gunny dished out. No doubt, Soup has the optics going for him, but the Lauve-machine deserves my vote.
Can’t understand the lack of hate for the funny gunny. Soup Sandwich isn’t even in his league.
I vote Soupy McFuckstick.
And TSO, for the love of the One True Cylon God, why????????? 🙂
Had to pick Soup Sandwich! Gunny is horrible, but I still wonder at the whole new level of stupid that Soup Sandwich came up with.
Love the photo shopped images!
You guys suck…..number 1. Desert boots in AF class A’s, thats classic.
Soupy all the way.
Decorations- Check
Rank escalation- check
Uniform cluster- check
Fabricated stories- check
ADD IN:
Stones to do it ON A TRAINING BASE COMMANDERS OFFICE
WHILE HIS SON MARRIED HIS STEP-MOM
This guy is a reality show waiting to happen…
Yea I’m disappointed in the 15% that voted for “Gunny.”
A fraud that actually had the gall to show up at a basic training graduation function is the stuff of “legend” or should I say infamy.
Definitely one of the most memorable incidents in the long and ‘illustrious’ history of posers.
Oh, my… this is a very difficult choice. I am on the fence.
Soup will go all the way.
SKK……tan “jump boots” with an AF uniform. Come on. A vote for soup is a vote for epic moronity (made that up). Be on the right side of history with this one.
I’ve said since Day 1 that it was an inevitable Soupy v. Ballduster final. Then again, I tried to set up the brackets so that Matthis would lose right off the bat, and he’s in the Fecal Four, so who knows.
I’m going ballduster all the way but in the finals. It will be tough…tan boots or SAS flash. I think his ridiculous gotee thing puts in over the top.
You guys really need to look into all these idiots claiming vet status at the OWS sit ins. I’m never in a place where this crap happens.
Soup all the way! THAT takes some big kahonies to show up in full regala at the main gate of Benning…..
@12 and 13- Allow me to break down the reason why, I beleive, Sammich is the uncontested grand champion of douchedom, and why the Lauve Boat is sinking-
Lauve fooled people for so long because the internet wasn’t around, and, for a long time, he kept his stories within the realm of possibility. The resources to check even trivial accounts were not widely available. He didn’t claim MoH, was never “black ops”, wasn’t pretending to be Audie Murphy, and knew enough naval jargon to start a marine corps fraud off on the right foot. He was active in his local legion post, but didn’t defraud them of money. He was a fake, but used his fake status to help the vet community while collecting his unearned ‘atta boys. He’s a douche, and he was a long-time fraud, but he used his douchedom for a good cause.
Soup, on the other hand, doesn’t have the slow burn fraud that Lauve had. Soup is a goddamned fraud supernova. He took Jack Nicholson’s ribbon stack from “A Few Good Men”, doubled it, then pinned both of those stacks on an enlisted Air Force uniform. Then he bloused his dress uni pants into a pair of desert-tan boots, for a retarded shout-out to Richard Crenna’s “Colonel Trautman” character from the Rambo movies. Then he just fucking bee-bopped into a RTC barracks, the only place in the world where uniform regulations are strictly adhered to, in an attempt to intimidate a DI, whose job description entails teaching uniform regulations to people who don’t know better. Soup’s fraud imploded so quickly, and so spectacularly, that he will forever be used as a training aid of what not to do, for both frauds and military members alike. That, my friends, is the legacy of a true champion.
If Soupy and Ballduster arent in the finals, I will take to the streets in protest that The Fix Is In!!
As Ray Davies and others have famously said:
“Give the People What they Want!!”
Okay, you convinced me. Soup has my vote!
I call it….Ballduster and Soup.
Ballduster wins.
I still don’t understand the MSGT Soupy hate. Yeah, he was a mess. Ok, he was a super nova of hot messedness. I get that. But he was just trying to get laid. By his step-mom. Or something. He’s just stupid and ignorant to the twelfth decimal place.
Gunny on the other hand was smart enough to not be stupid with his claims. He did it out of a sense of entitlement and wish fulfillment. Rather than making his own life awesome, he stole the life he wanted. That strikes me as evil.
And so as all the kids are saying these days “I am the 17.2%” and call for an “Occupy TAH movement”.
SGTKane +10
I may forsake my TAH roots and join the occupy TAH movement. Our hippies are hotter than your hippies may be our motto. Quick, someone get The Sniper out there to round up protesters.
“We’re nit gonna protest, we’re not gonna protest!!!!” Lol PCU is an awesome movie, and those Retard OWS hippies remind me of the retard hippies from that movie, protesting because they can, changing their message daily….
I was on the fence but no longer. Comment 13 is on the money. As I said before, the pic of Soup looks like he was thrown in a blender with some militaria, spun around a few times, and was poured out. He’s a joke, a rank amateur. Gunny, on the other hand is a bona fide, time-tested, legitimate, trust-destroying fraud. He misrepresented himself as a highly decorated Marine for so many years, the mere question of his authenticity got people all kinds of crazy. But then it all proved to be true. If it’s Stloen Valor at issue, it has got to be Gunny.
SGT Kane and TSO,
You guys are nothing but SPLITTERS!!!
I wonder if http://occupyvalorguardians.com is taken?
“We won’t rest until Gunny Gets his Due! And our hippies are hotter than theirs!” does have such a nice ring to it.
OT, remember “dissent is the highest form of patriotism” (Stuff Jefferson Said, 4th Edition (Rev’d))
Gunny’s chick hippies DO shave their armpits. Soup’s DO NOT.
Kane, he also said “Logic is the cement of our civilization, with which we ascend from chaos, using reason as our guide.”
Actually, that might have been some Vulcan broad, I forget.
Ballduster for the win.
Tman: Hollywood Squares? If it’s Ballduster for the win, it’s Gunny for the block!
Both are nut jobs. One is clearly in the pathetic league… the other is in the conniving league. Pathetics can be entertaining (and this nut job surely is, and yes, I’m calling him Shirley)… connivers plainly piss me off. Gunny got my pissed off vote! No Justice, No Peace!
TSO He also said “Vulcan chicks are no great shakes” or maybe that was some ewok.
Yea you never know 2-17AirCav
Gunny Lauve: He IS Stolen Valor
Claim 1: A Marine’s Marine. He didn’t just memorize the Pacific battles, he fought them!
Claim 2: He fought in Korea, too, at the Frozen Chosen no less!
Claim 3: He earned two of his FIVE Purple Hearts at Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal.
Claim 4: He was awarded the Silver Star.
Claim 5: He was awarded the Navy Cross.
Reality: Not a Marine at all. No battles, no Purple Hearts, no Silver Star, no Navy Cross. Just a Fraud.
I’m still pissed that I have to watch Firefly and think of Soup as a result of the brain worm TSO gave me.
Damn you. Just damn you. Wait until Adam Baldwin hears of this.
The real kick in the balls Sparky is that Baldwin tweeted Blackfive today, which pisses me off to no end, since it was me wearing a Jayne Cobb knitted hat in my engagement photo. That should have been my tweet dammit! Love me some Jayne.
Ah, but at least I still have Animal Mother. You can’t take that memory away from me, dammit…
“So you’re a photographer?”
“I’m a combat correspodent.”
“You seen much COMBAT?”
“I’ve seen a little on TV!”
“You’re a real comedian.”
“Well, they call me the Joker!”
“Well, I’ve got a joke for you. I’m gonna tear you a new asshole.”
“Well, pilgrim, only after ya eat the peanuts outta my sheeit!”
teddy I daresay that was one of the finest comments i’ve read in a while…
TSO I recall that Jefferson also said this, which I have tatooed all the way around my neck interlocking with a vine of roses and skulls:
“Time is precious…lunchtime doubly so.”
Or…maybe he didnt. Maybe it was Malthus, or Pliny the Elder. Or Landfill in Beerfest.
And er maybe I dont have a tattoo. A visible one, anyway.
Wait, what?