“Please Don’t Thank Me for My Service”
I guess it is that time of year again for these pieces. This one from the New York Times and the message comes from a Marine, Hunter Garth;
Mike Freedman, a Green Beret, calls it the “thank you for your service phenomenon.” To some recent vets — by no stretch all of them — the thanks comes across as shallow, disconnected, a reflexive offering from people who, while meaning well, have no clue what soldiers did over there or what motivated them to go, and who would never have gone themselves nor sent their own sons and daughters.
To these vets, thanking soldiers for their service symbolizes the ease of sending a volunteer army to wage war at great distance — physically, spiritually, economically. It raises questions of the meaning of patriotism, shared purpose and, pointedly, what you’re supposed to say to those who put their lives on the line and are uncomfortable about being thanked for it.
Mr. Garth, 26, said that when he gets thanked it can feel self-serving for the thankers, suggesting that he did it for them, and that they somehow understand the sacrifice, night terrors, feelings of loss and bewilderment. Or don’t think about it at all.
Freedman goes on to say that he prefers the way people treated veterans after Vietnam; “At least with Vietnam, people spit on you and you knew they had an opinion.”
Spoken like someone who wasn’t there after Vietnam. I didn’t go to Vietnam, but I experienced the public backlash. Many people who I encountered were appreciative of veterans service and they expressed that appreciation subtly, which I am more accustomed to than the outward expression today. You know, like the stewardess that guides you to the unbooked First Class seat even though you know that you bought the cheaper seat. There was no social media to tell the world about it, though.
I’ll admit that the “Thank you for your service” is a little bit embarrassing, and it has only happened in recent years, you know, even though my service was decades ago. But it is much better than the days when a civilian saw vets as a “mark” to cheat. When vets couldn’t get treatment from the VA, and no one really cared whether you could or not. If scores of veterans died in Arizona without treatment in this day and age, can you imagine how many were lost post-Vietnam, when no one gave a rat’s ass?
So, the pendulum has swung back to the other side from the Vietnam years. Its my opinion that tolerating a few knee-jerk “Thank you for your service” is a damn sight better than the alternative. I’ve given out lots of “thank you for your service” but it wasn’t to make me feel better about myself, it was to reassure a young veteran, who couldn’t be sure if I was a veteran or not, that his or her service has value beyond their own heart. The same way, I reflexively “welcome home” every Vietnam veteran I meet.
We also have to tolerate the valor thieves because suddenly our service has value in the eyes of the public. It is one of the prices that we have to pay for a culture that has no real heroes. It is a little embarrassing sometimes, but it is a small price to pay and like I said, it beats the alternative. So quitcher bitchin’.
Category: Support the troops
I don’t feel right when it happens to me. The mid 70’s were a strange time to join the military.
That reminded me a little bit of my Uncle, God rest him…damn, it sure is dusty in here!
Damn! Where did all that dust come from …
my eyes must have an allergy.
One of the best videos out there on the subject.
No one ever spit on me, but someone in a passing car did throw a beer bottle at me, and another time, when hitch-hiking while in my Class “A” uniform (i.e., dress greens), a car tried to run me down.
Mostly, though, it was just folks telling me over and over how stupid I was, what a fool I was, why I should never have volunteered.
It was especially tough when fellow members of my church would say those things.
It was also tough at National Guard weekend meetings overhearing guys bragging about their military obligation being up, because they only joined the National Guard to keep from being sent to Viet Nam.
When Dan Quayle was running for President, and I learned he was the same age I was, the first question in my mind, and in the minds of all other Viet Nam veterans was, “Where was he when I was over there?”
Thank you for being smarter, wiser, braver, more honorable, and a far better man than all of them!
Hi from a fellow Utahn… I was a kid and remember some of that nonsense for some ward members. My friends and I came of age in the early 80s and of the 14 of us who were the same age group in church 11 or 12 of us joined anything from the NG to active duty in all the branches including the coast guard. I agree with you that behavior is reprehensible.
The way Vietnam Vets were treated coming home and any military member was treated at that time is disgraceful. I wasn’t even born yet but from what I hear from people who were in at that time and see in documentary’s I don’t know how there weren’t massive fights all the time at some point. The worst is seeing the pictures of draft dodgers protesting the war, It makes me angry and I wasn’t even alive then. But being thanked for your service, I couldn’t get mad at someone for saying that. I mean sure if they haven’t been shot at, haven’t seen dead bodies, haven’t been away from their families, haven’t killed someone, pick anything from a deployment really and apply it to them. Sure, they haven’t experienced it, but at least they mean well. At least they’re not spitting in your face and calling you a baby killer. Even when people do say something disrespectful to a Service Member, the person saying it is just a dumbass anyway because it’s not like we are the ones who decide what War America does and doesn’t get involved in, we just choose to be in instead of the retard who thinks Americas evil and Soldiers just go around killing babies and murdering innocent people. Which, by the way, if there was actually a baby killed for everyone that has ever said some idiotic shit like “Soldiers kill babys” I don’t think there would be any children left in the world. I can’t believe members of your church would say shit like that John, I just can imagine the type of “I go to Church and follow God so I am better then everyone because I know the truth and never sinned a day in my life and can judge everyone” people they must’ve been.
Dan Quayle was in the same place as Harry Reid, Dick Cheney, Joe Biden, Bill Clinton and the rest of them. Not everyone served, nor did they have to. They didn’t draft every male that was 18-25 years old and not everyone volunteers. It’s rather impractical to use that at the measuring stick of whether someone is worthy to run for President, or not, because not everyone serves. Others can’t serve in uniform, so they find other ways to serve, whether it’s working for a defense contractor, or a VA hospital, Veterans Home, etc.
Whether or not a person ended up in Vietnam was largely luck of the draw.
The numbers are pretty clear: less than 30% of those on active duty during the Vietnam War (5 Aug 1964 – 28 Mar 1973) ever set foot in Vietnam, and less than 39% qualified for the VSM (over 809,000 qualified for the VSM who never actually served in Vietnam per se – via service in Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, or offshore in support of the war).
http://www.veteranshour.com/vietnam_war_statistics.htm
Last time I checked, when in uniform you went where your orders specified or you ended up in jail. If you served during that time, you did your duty. Period.
I believe a large percentage of Vietnam vets were Regular Army, myself included.
Think I read someplace (maybe here?) that Vietnam was never more than 30% draftee?
I started out as a draftee, and when my two (02) years was up, I reenlisted to go to Viet Nam.
Originally, I had tried to enlist in the United States Marine Corps, but was repeatedly turned down, in spite of passing all tests.
Because much of my adolescence was spent locked up in maximum security for the criminally insane (I was an ungovernable youth), my local draft board had me classified as I-Y or IV-F (i.e., “Unfit For Military Service”).
So I wrote a letter to President Lyndon Baines Johnson, seeking reclassification.
In due time, I was reclassified I-A (i.e., “Fit For Military Service”), but still, none of the Armed Services would allow me to enlist.
So, I volunteered to be drafted, which automatically put me at the head of the list, and automatically put me in the United States Army, because the Army is the senior service and as such, gets first pick of draftees.
Anyway, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
You know who else was rejected by the Marines and then went into the Army?
AUDIE MURPHY ! ! !
I’m in good company, huh?
Oh, guess what?
I didn’t know this until a couple of weeks ago, but Audie Murphy also composed music and lyrics, just like I do, and just like me, Audie Murphy did everything “by ear”, because he had no formal education.
Nifty, huh?
Audie Murphy became a movie star, and I was an actor and performer in local community theatre plays (with rave reviews).
Yes – and no, but only barely.
Per the link I cited above, only approx 25% of those who served in Vietnam were draftees. However, in terms of those KIA, draftees made up 30.4%.
Less than 40% of those drafted during the period 1965-1973 served in Vietnam.
The myth that Vietnam was a “draftee’s war” was exactly that – a myth. In reality, the majority of draftees during that era never served in SEA.
Ah, the VSM… makin’ Jesse Ventura a “Viet Nam veteran” for chasin’ girls in Olongapo.
This is probably one of those things that is best taken at face value, and politely acknowledged in the same manner as offered. Overthinking it is likely counterproductive.
Yeah OWB: I’ve spent an hour or so trying to decide how to respond. Jonn nailed it!
“If scores of veterans died in Arizona without treatment in this day and age, can you imagine how many were lost post-Vietnam, when no gave a rat’s ass?”
Not much worth adding.
It makes me uncomfortable. I don’t feel right being thanked for what I get paid to do.
Don’t thank me. I volunteered.
You could die doing the job. You could die just training for the job. There isn’t enough pay for that – take the “thank you”.
You stood up, held up your right hand, and swore the oath. They may hand you a weapon and send you out to try to do the job.
I did 6. My son did 8. Thanks. I cannot go any more and I appreciate that there are still people who do because, ya know, somebody needs to go and there are a lot of people who won’t.
Exactly…while it beats being spit on, after a while it becomes somewhat trite. And I never know what to say back…”Thank you for paying me”?
Early January, 1986,LAX waiting for my flight to Honolulu after OSUT and Christmas leave, in Class A’s with a half dozen or so other newbie 11Bs.
A old guy (hah! fortysomething was old!) came up and invited us all for a drink in the airport bar. I don’t think any of us were even close to 21, but the bartender didn’t say boo!
Old guy had been in Vietnam, and thought troops should be treated with at least a modicum of respect.
I hadn’t done anything to earn that respect… yet.
But it sure made an impression on me.
I had a very similar experience at LAX shipping out to K-Bay on xmas day 1986, it was an Iwo Jima vet bought the 3 of us a pitcher of beer. We ended up buying him a pitcher and ended up talking with him about the Corp and thanked him for being part of our history..
Semper Fi!
I often think about those that served with me. The late 70’s were an odd time. I was in artillery at that time. The 105 howitzer I manned was made in 1943. We were using ammunition that was a decade old. We were still garnishing nets with strips of burlap. Carter was in office. Most career Marines hadn’t had a pay raise above the rate of inflation for 10 years. Marines guarding the US Embassy in Iran were told not to fire on Islamic revolutionaries. They were held hostage. A rescue attempt by Carter turned out to be a disaster.
There was very little respect for our military in those days. Yet we served. There was no glory in any victory. We had no privacy in open barracks. No personal belongings to speak of. Everything we owned fit into a wall locker. Yet we served. Our lives were olive drab or haze gray. We watched the trucks filled with oil from power transformers being sprayed to keep the dust down on our PT paths. We slept under pipes wrapped with asbestos. We drank the water, we had no choice. We had our uniforms dry cleaned. We had never heard of PCB’s, asbestosis, dioxin, or anything like it. Yet we served.
We still deployed. We stood at the ready. We were underway. Air alert. I stayed in long after that, but I often think of those that served. They did their time, they stood their watch. They were ready to give all, they just never got the call.
They wear no CAR, no National Defense, some nothing at all. Yet they served and I remember them well. So here is to those who served that history does not remember so well.
Semper Fi
Well said sir!!
I never bring it up, mostly because no one ever asks about it, which is fine with me. I figure it’s my business.
I have strong and mixed feeling about this too. As a Brat during the VN era we had our homecomings quietly and at home. I was shoved up against lockers, had my stocking ripped and told my dad was a baby killer at school. We lived in a civilian community in CA when Dad was in Nam. Several of the female brats were talking this week about crying in the bathrooms. I thought I was the only kid who did sucked it up butter cups, like that.
When all of this “Thank you for your service” whoop-la started up, it was really confusing to me. But I watched my dad to see how he handled it because darn it, he’s not only a good role model– he’s my hero. We were at a layover in DFW or somewhere, after a while and all that traveling they all blur…my dad walked up to a young guy in his 20’s, shook his hand, looked him square in the eye and said, “Thank you for your service” and then Dad just went on. Never said a word about being a Vet or nothing, but I could see in that young man’s eyes that there was no doubt in his mind about my fathers gratitude.
I’m really uncomfortable when someone thanks me for my service. I served (Air Force, F-4, F16 Crewchief field) and retired before the current unpleasantness. During those 20 years I always found myself elsewhere when we deployed for real. I spent Desert Shield/Storm in Korea and Personnel laughed at me when I tried to volunteer, but that’s another story. I did nothing to be ashamed of but most of those years were spent trying to get more beer or pu..y. I’m proud of my service but it was much easier than many others’. I will say that I spent time in places most Americans wouldn’t even want to fly over but overall, it was a good time with good people.
Bill R., just a question. Were you ever stationed at Bitburg, Spang, or Hahn?
I was at Bitburg, 74-77, Army Air Defense Battery.
I guess the reason I asked was because I was at Bit while they did the transition from F-4s to F-15s.
CLAW131, no, sorry, most of my career was spent in PACAF or CONUS. Near the end of my career I did do a couple trips to the sandbox for Northern or Southern Watch and one time to Bahrain and Qatar to show the flag and maybe sell them some F-16s. My entire Europe adventure was about 3 hours in Rota, Spain while our C-5 refueled. We couldn’t leave Base Ops but some of the sights had me wondering why I never wanted to come to USAFE and spend time with the Spanish girls. I’m getting old now and have to be a good boy but I sure miss the life.
@ CLAW131:
In the late Summer or early Autumn of 1968 (I can’t remember!), upon completion of the Field Radio Relay and Carrier Equipment Repair (MOS 31L20) course at the United States Army Southeastern Signal School at Fort Gordon, Georgia, my very FIRST assignment as a brand new soldier in the United States Army was Company “A”, 11th Air Defense Signal Battalion, 32d Army Air Defense Command at Kleber Kaserne in Kaiserslautern, Germany.
They sent me, on a more or less permanent TDY, to Team A-2 at Spangdahlem Air Force Base.
As a convert in The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints, each Sunday, I would hitch-hike to Bitburg Air Force Base to attend services.
They (the Mormons) made me an Assistant Scoutmaster for their Boy Scout troop.
One of our fellow church members was Colonel Bernard Francis Fisher, United States Air Force, who was decorated with the Medal of Honor for his actions while flying a Douglas A-1E “Skyraider” to rescue, while under fire, a downed pilot in the A Shau Valley in the old Republic of Viet Nam.
His call sign was, “Hobo 51”, and the plane he flew is now on display at the Air Force Museum at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base.
At Bitburg, he was flying an F-104 “Starfighter”.
In 1969, while at Spangdahlem Air Force Base, I watched Neil Armstrong step onto the Moon.
Unknown to me, my biological brother (we were both adopted by different families and had never met) was ALSO serving in the United States Army, was ALSO stationed in Germany, and was ALSO watching Neil Armstrong step onto the Moon.
An old friend of mine told me they HAD to give Bernie the Medal of Honor, or else, court martial him, because he broke every rule in the book effecting that heroic rescue!
Oh, by the way, they also named a ship after him.
Bernie Fisher passed away in Boise, Idaho on 16 August 2014.
I visited with him and his family, camping out at their farm, several times when I was living in Idaho.
Bernie was always SOOOOOOO anxious to help his fellow man.
My Son and I had conversation about this a few weeks ago. He is active duty and I think he has come up with the perfect response,
He says thank you right back and says it it his honor to serve his country.
Your son is wise and thoughtful, but then you probably already know that!
My son does the same. I’ve told him to enjoy this time of military service being respected. I fear the pendulum will swing very far very soon to a place I don’t want it to be.
Freedman’s opinion is understandable, but it seems to me that the key issue is a matter of action and not words.
Most of us who went to Viet Nam, at least among the approximately lucid, never expected a parade. We just wanted to pay our dues, come home, and get on with it. What we didn’t expect was to be treated like a bunch of dogs.
Coming from the Bay Area, it was not unusual to hear some drone say: “Why did you go there? War is, like, a bummer, man.” The inference, apparently, being that you were somehow retarded.
So at some point you learned, for example, that if you wanted to get into the saucy little Berkeley sociology major’s silkies, the best thing was to not tell her that two years prior you were somewhere north of Saigon with an M-16.
All of which is water under the bridge. I’m probably not alone in thinking that one of the concerns those of us who went through Viet Nam have now is that the younger Iraq and Afghanistan vets don’t have to go through the same thing we did.
^^yeah, that^^
Never did it for glory or accolades, but it is nice to say, “Thank you” when I am thanked. And I make sure to let any young man or woman serving know their service is appreciated, no matter branch or job.
Funny timing. I had a really weird “Thank You” moment at my local American Legion post. My wife and I were walking in for Saturday Karaoke. I was wearing my old beat-up 509th Medical Group ball cap, because I don’t mind that it ends up smelling like an ash tray. A guy older than me stopped me and got up close and eyeballed my hat. I had ever seen him before, and he was wearing a brand new “Retired Army” ball cap with jump wings, and POW/MIA pins along with some other bling. After looking at my hat, he sticks out his hand and says, “THANKS BUDDY”. It’s not the type of thing I get from a fellow Legion member. I told him all I was trying to do was get a beer. He said, “One of your guys pulled me out of a firefight in Nam.” “A 509th guy?” I asked. He said yes. I told him I doubted that because the 509th probably didn’t have any PJ’s in Vietnam. He said something else, but at this point my beer was at the my table with my wife and friends, and this guy had wasted enough of my time. I had never seen him before, but I could see him hanging around the bar and I’ll be on the lookout for him sometime when I’m sober. But really? What kind of Nam Vet thinks he was rescued by a non-combat medic sitting in a clinic in New Hampshire? That’s where the 509th was during the Vietnam years.
Jonn makes some good points on this topic. And I will say, the current “thank you for your service” culture is much better than the dislike or apathy toward the military (and vets) in the past.
At work, a pretty big place, on Veteran’s Day there are always at least a couple of people that thank me for my service. At other times, people will just randomly do it once they find out I’m a vet. I appreciate these comments, and they always seem sincere.
My reply to them is always something like “It was my pleasure. I generally enjoyed my time in the service.”
Even when I was doing unpleasant things and/or in unpleasant places. It was a challenge and I felt good about what I was doing. I wouldn’t trade my military experiences for any amount of money.
We sent a lot of those who didn’t what to fight to Canada, and Canada sent many of there citizens here
who did want to fight. Kind of a weird culture exchange. At lest 75 Canadian names are on the Wall.
I received my service medals 40 years after getting out. Was never listed on my 214, just said “none”. So when I received a call from my congressman that they had received my decorations (Just your basic medals, nothing special, I showed up medals) and wanted to know if I wanted a ceremony with the news reporters, etc.. I said no, asked if I could just come with my wife and sons and pick them up with out all the fan fare. They said yes, seem to be a disappointment and possible lost opportunity of publicity for the congressman. But that’s not my problem. So we had a quite ceremony, mainly for my son who is really into history. I put it all behind me and thought that it was all done. Just happened to mention to the commander at my local VVA Chapter what I did and showed him a picture my wife took at the ceremony. Well some people can’t let things be, and sure enough he goes and mentions what had taken place and stating how I didn’t want any fanfare or press coverage. The commander thinks that it is a big deal and gets everyone clapping and congratulating me at the meeting. I was totally embarrassed and this is what I was trying to avoid. I was so embarrassed I almost quite the VVA. But I did miss quite a few meetings after that. I’m not into dealing with publicity of any type and always shun news coverage of any type. So I think its OK to thank veterans for there service, but don’t go over board like some people do. Just thank them and move along, we as veterans should understand that.
I like when the VHA and VBA say “Thank you for your service” right before they fuck you.
I think it makes them feel better or at least clean their morale slate at your expense.
Personally to hell with WAR. He did hie deed and done it well but the point is he risk his life and still died at a early age not for his country but for a cause. Iraq and almost any wars have absolutely no winners.
Great I am not going to go back to any air feild just to fly with a couple of pilots a too be wiped out for some dumb countries cause.
What caused WWI…. Aliiances, Germany and France wanted more land, Asassinations, Genocide
What caused WWII…. Alliances, Hitler rise to power, Germany declars itself as supreme power, and pearl Harbor, Genocide( Not just Jews).
Korean War, Russian help change there goverment to Comunism.
Vietnam, Russia Helping Korea change to Communism.
This stupid MIddle East thing,
People mislead by “Jews” to commit Genocide
Africa, Genocide, USA and others too busy with Middle East to help??WTF
China Genocide of property rights( No kidding just checkout the peeking duck ), USA and others too pust to help China. China and other variants using various company ties to help subtitle there citizens ideas.
Yes it was Heroic but man ether way there was no winner and we will never know unless there is a end.
PSUL, is that you or DullAss Witlessfart ?
I guess English is not your first language? Or are you really as ignorant as your rant makes you out to be?
Personally to hell with WAR. He did hie deed and done it well but the point is he risk his life and still died at a early age not for his country but for a cause. IRAW and almost any wars have absolutely no winners.
Great I am not going to go back to any air feild just to fly with a couple of pilots a too be wiped out for some dumb countries cause.
What caused WWI…. Aliiances, Germany and France wanted more land, Asassinations, Genocide
What caused WWII…. Alliances, Hitler rise to power, Germany declars itself as supreme power, and pearl Harbor, Genocide( Not just Jews).
Korean War, Russian help change there goverment to Comunism.
Vietnam, Russia Helping Korea change to Communism.
This stupid MIddle East thing,
People mislead by “Jews” to commit Genocide
Africa, Genocide, USA and others too busy with Middle East to help??WTF
China Genocide of property rights( No kidding just checkout the peeking duck ), USA and others too pust to help China. China and other variants using various company ties to help subtitle there citizens ideas.
Yes it was Heroic but man ether way there was no winner and we will never know unless there is a end.
Did you even make it to the third grade level before you dropped out of school to go on welfare?
What the f..k are you trying to say! After reading your comment, I feel like I’m playing Packman and the jaws are chasing me!
By the way, spell check is your friend. I suggest you use it!
You too, 3/17? He either didn’t even make it to the third grade before he dropped out of school or he’s fried his brain on drugs or T-bird and the like, that’s a bucket of Psulian/Bernathian drivel!!
This just proves that trying to post comments when you’re completely crocked or stoned out of your mind is not a good idea.
Maybe if he sleeps it off, he can translate that gibberish for us.
As I see it, that post is SO chock full of concentrated STUPID I’m willing to bet it was posted by one of The Dutch Rudder Gang from say, a public library or some Internet Cafe that let them in their doors!
VWP returns!
I see this go two ways for me when it comes up. More than once, I’ve received, “Oh by the way, thanks for your service” as if they’re obligated to make the statement. Sometimes it’s truly touching when you get a thank you because you can see that they mean it or it’s from a person you respect for their service.
I like that service is now honored again, but I do wish it wasn’t becoming pro forma. I get the point of the article but he may be reading a bit to much into it.
This brings back a memory for me that didn’t happen too long ago. I was on recruiting duty (taken from my beloved Infantry) and it was around Christmas. Now being on a duty like that, far away from a post, you will get even more “thank you for your service”. At times I felt it was unwarranted, maybe even annoying. I WAS WRONG. While shopping for Christmas presents with my wife while in uniform (you bet your ass I was “prospecting”), a older man and his wife came up to us. He said “I remember being a young Staff Sergeant and struggling to put those gifts under the tree. Thank you for your service.” He then handed me $40 and despite my unwillingness he refused to take it back. It almost brought tears to my eyes. Not the fact that I know had just gotten $40, but that someone that had been there and done that and had taken the time and compassion to make such a small gesture, that now reminded me of what it is all about. We take care of each other, sometimes no one else will. If were lucky, civilians can too. The Point is that that “thank you for you service” may be from someone who knows first hand, or has often lost someone dear to them that wore that same uniform. That small gesture pulled my head out of my ass. Maybe it can for someone else too…….
You know, I have commented on here many times. Been told the what for a few times, but, it is as it is and I still feel unworthy of a thanks for my military service 85-89, pretty quiet years. I tell people thanks, but the real thanks is to the vets now and from vietnamn. But everytime I see my GI bill used from the 90’s and how I used my VA loan, I still have to say, “wow, I guess chocking planes 16 hrs a day for a 6 month cruise was worth it.”
The way I take being thanked is not to be so smug as to think they’re thanking ME as much as they are expressing gratitude to all of my brothers and sisters in uniform, especially those no longer with us. In some cases I might have been the first Soldier that some of them might have met.
Regardless, those who say thanks are part of that “grateful nation” that gives our next of kin the flag at our funeral. Graciously accept the thanks while you’re alive, if not for you, then those who aren’t here to accept it. It ain’t about you or me, but them.
^^ What He Said^^
Thank you for your service is beginning to sound like Have a nice Day. I always thought that it was my civic duty to protect our nation. I served and I am proud of that service, but this nation has given me a lot more than I gave it. I was not called to give my life for it, only a portion of my time. It was an honor to serve and no amount of thanks can match the honor that I accrued just by serving. Have a nice day!
(Tried to post earlier…but don’t think it went…)
I never know what to say either…”Thanks for paying me”? I have done what I liked (Sometimes loved…) for 20 something years now. At first I needed a job, then I needed to support a growing family, as time went by I couldn’t walk away because I enjoyed molding, leading and mentoring young troops. Now its too late for me to leave without the golden doughnut of retirement $$…thank me all you want, just don’t forget to pay me every 2 weeks!
(I am not really that cynical, just sarcastic as hell…)
But it beats being spit on, because I would have to knock someone out if that happened to me or anyone I have served with.
My stock answer is that “it was a privilege to serve our nation.” And, if our post RVN return to CONUS led to the better treatment of this generation of warriors, I guess it was worth it. regards, Alemaster
I simply say thank you back. Sometimes I’ll have a conversation with them about the military, or listen to their expounding about how they feel. Only a couple of times have I had to listen to them talk about how they felt about the war being wrong man…. (I know its a shocker, but those were in the California San Fran Bay area)
I had a conversation one time with a guy who saw a woman say that to me. Afterwards he asked me, “do you ever get tired of that all the time?” From a guy who never served, I could tell. I told him “no, unless its someone doing the obligatory TYFYS to me.”
I don’t mind it one bit as long as it is sincere. But it is rare that someone does the insincere version.
Whenever I get thanked I always reply “we are all in it together until we can stop taking our shoes off at the airport”.
There are those out there who will thank you for your service, and not really mean it but are doing it to make themselves feel better. There is certanly no shortage of people out there who will still to this day spit on a Veteran or Active duty personnel. They can be found on here occasionally,so I am not buying that drivel that atleast a Vet would not know how some truly feel about them today.
Too often it sounds reflexive and insincere, much like “have a nice day!”. Worse, its usually followed up with a disqualifier like “thank you for your service but…”
When I get the “thank you for your service” in passing, I usually just respond with “you too!”
My response is a cheerful “Glad to!” — (i.e., I am/was glad to serve.) It doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all.
I think it does sound like “have a nice day” (or, for that matter, the military “greeting of the day”). That is why I like it.
These little formalities are part of how the human race rubs along together, and I much prefer that the formalities be nice and respectful ones, with an extra nod to servicemembers, than otherwise.
Also…while it’s good for the civilian population to show some respect for the military, that respect ought to go two ways. Getting pissy about “thanks for your service,” as this Garth character does, is a way of saying – “We’re so superior to you, you can’t begin to understand, so just shut up.”
I’m happy to say I’ve almost never met that attitude in person, and hope stories like this don’t make people think it’s more common than it is.
I thank all y’all for your service, with a special hats off to those that could go 20 or better. That’s amazing!.
I read the NYT article and it make me sick. The Marine and the Green Beret need to back up and regroup. They don’t want strangers saying thank you because those strangers weren’t there and didn’t do that? Well, tough shit. They can go sulk in the corner and hate the world or buy and wear a tee shirt that sees, “Veteran. Shove Your Thanks Up Your Ass.”
I say 2 things.
1. You are welcome
2. (If they are a Vet) Thank you for yours.
Even though we have a volunteer force, not everybody can be a soldier. Some are too old, physically disqualified, name it. There are reasons. We thank you because we like being free, we can’t be soldiers, and you are bearing the burden we would bear if we could.
And I’ll tell you this right now, from personal experience. Enjoy your time in the spotlight of people’s affections. You’ll have plenty of time to be old news and ignored soon enough.
Do you reckon that Cops and Firemen appreciate a little “thank you” now and then? They seem to handle it a little better than we do…
I give out one of two responses usually. If it’s a situation where we’re chatting and have more than a second to speak I’ll tell them, “I got more out of my time in than the United States did. I’m the one who should be thanking you!” If it is a stranger and we’re just passing I’ll say something like, “It was the most fun I ever had!”.
It is absolutely true that I got more out of 4 years in the Air Force than the country got out of me. Think about it: I got a 13 week school that taught me how to be an auto mechanic. I got several months of OJT that helped me perfect that skill. I got tuition assistance that allowed me to enter the USAF with no college credit and come out with a four year degree debt free. I got a room of my own, rent free. I got access to the chow hall for FOUR free meals a day. I worked a 40 hour week and earned a paycheck. I got to see Saudi Arabia, something I positively would not have done on my own. And, finally, I matured from a boy to a man under the direction of officers and NCO’s instead of learning how to party from a bunch of immature college students, not to mention lefty indoctrination from college professors (the professors I had taught military folks almost exclusively and weren’t part of liberal academia). The people of the United States got a guy who could do a passable job of fixing their cars, trucks, vans and buses. I was privileged, no doubt about it.
Hot Air picked up on this: http://hotair.com/archives/2015/02/23/is-thank-you-for-your-service-ever-the-wrong-thing-to-say/
I got 16 hrs on 8 off at sea running after airplanes to tie them down, I got countless hours 4 to 5 usually a day when in a foreign port, to get on a liberty boat to go ashore (on a carrier) I got loss of hearing from flight deck work. I got to take a 5 mn shower in 15 minutes because the ballasts would always change and the shower would cut off for 5 to 10 mn. at a time. Lets see, Oh the America did have some awesome chow though.
Except for Lowes 10% when I’m buying something expensive, I never mention service. So imagine my surprise last week at Long Horn Steak House. Asked for the check. My billfold was on the table slightly opened, awaiting pulling out a Visa for the check. Server came with the check and stopped. You’re a Vet..I see your ID card…. I’ll be right back. She did with a 10%. I didn’t ask or expect it but thought it nice.
@ SJ:
You just reminded me of something I’d forgotten.
Each Veterans Day, any and all veterans eat FREE at Golden Corral restaurants.
At my request, the Golden Corral in Fayetteville, North Carolina even went above and beyond, consenting to do something they weren’t supposed to do, which was have my sister (a retired soldier’s widow) pick up a meal, AND also enjoy herself a free meal, and deliver it to our stepmother, a veteran of the Second World War, who is housebound in an extended care facility.
I’ve never seen anyone check identification at those free Veterans Day dinners, so I reckon some fakes probably take advantage.
Here in Vernal, Utah, where everybody knows everybody else, that wouldn’t work.
As for me, when I go to a special patriotic event like that, I go formal, wearing my full-sized medals properly arranged on my best Sunday-go-to-meetin’ suit.
SJ……I’m with you, Lowes is the only place I get the 10% I was their today. Two bags of cement, saved about sixty cents. Still it all adds up.
Home Depot, not so easy, they act like they are doing me a favor. Some times I get the discount, sometimes not.
In regard to the thank you for your service. Kind of uncomfortable. It’s still better than the attitude 20-30 years ago. I remember deploying to Vietnam, hada layover in Hawaii, for a couple of hours. Two kids about sixteen started giving me shit about Vietnam. I remember, telling them if they really thought that’s where I wanted to be going. Then itoldthem to get out of my face!
Well, they kinda are doing you a favor. Knocking 10 cents off of every dollar is definitely a favor. I built a deck for my mom and I bought all of the supplies at Home Depot and got the veterans discount. It saved me (and her, by extension) about $350 bucks. I consider that quite a favor!
If you don’t like the hoops you sometimes have to jump through to get a veterans discount just take a look at the number of stolen valor threads on this site and then reconsider whether or not they’re actually being unreasonable to make you show ID or something.
Used to being thanked for my service by now, but it still feels weird. Got harassed and called a baby killer daily doing ROTC at Kent State– things didn’t change there until 9/11. (One of our cadets shot himself, too.) Never got a welcome home until making landfall at former Pease AFB on the way back from Afghanistan in 2013.
I think my problem with it is that it’s utterly formulaic, a bland mask for substantial levels of apathy for, or perhaps more charitably, detachment from what we do and have done. I hear conversations from people regarding the possibility of more Iraq fun, that a majority of people support this or that, with the question, “haven’t the American people learned anything from fighting wars in the Middle East?” Easy answer – less than 1% of all Americans actually have fought wars in the Middle East.
And then there are those times when someone thanks you, and you know that it is deeply, deeply meant. And those times are cool, especially from children. My favorite are when it comes from fellow vets. Nobody understands us better than us.