Nanny Bloomberg’s comeupance

So this is really good satire, and they got me for about a minute, probably because I so wanted it to be true, until I remembered that there’s always something fishy about the Daily Currant. Regardless it’s funny and it’s really too bad that it didn’t really happen;

I guess Michael Bloomberg, the mayor of New York City who has been limiting choices of New Yorkers in regards to everything from Big Gulps to canned baby formula when a New York pizzeria gave him a dose of his own medicine during a working lunch with New York comptroller John Liu when they realized that they hadn’t ordered enough food. From the Daily Currant;

“Hey, could I get another pepperoni over here?” Bloomberg asked owner Antonio Benito.

“I’m sorry sir,” he replied, “we can’t do that. You’ve reached your personal slice limit.”
Stop and Tisk

Mayor Bloomberg, not accustomed to being challenged, assumed that the owner was joking.

“OK, that’s funny,” he remarked, “because of the soda thing … No come on. I’m not kidding. I haven’t eaten all morning, just send over another pepperoni.”

“I’m sorry sir. We’re serious,” Benito insisted. “We’ve decided that eating more than one piece isn’t healthy for you, and so we’re forbidding you from doing it.”

“Look jackass,” Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling, “I f**king skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza. Don’t be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some fucking pizza, okay.”

“I’m sorry sir, there’s nothing I can do,” the owner repeated. “Maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each. At least that way you’re walking. You know, burning calories.”

Sucks, don’t it, Mikey?

Category: Satire