Inaugural Post From ‘Bones’
“Bones” got his nickname as youth in California, due to excessively thin physiques he and his twin brother had. Would that we have that problem now. He did an Air Force tour, got out and went to Medical school at the University of Oklahoma. He then had the good sense to join the Navy, which leads nicely to:
A brand new Lieutenant surgeon at United States Naval Hospital Camp Pendleton in July 1984 I was told on AM rounds by a nice ICU nurse that my summer white working uniform, regardless of the stifling summer heat, required a tee shirt underneath. She said my tattoos were showing through. I raced to my office, went to my gym bag and put on a tee shirt and was back on rounds before anyone knew I was gone. Being prior enlisted, and “the hot fill” for a disabled general surgeon and needed at Camp Pendleton, I took the detailer’s offer and opted out of 6 week “knife and fork school” called Officer Indoctrination School at Newport, R.I.
I was very interested in learning “what to do, where to do it, how to do it and how to wear it” etc. But the situation seemed rather acute and I wanted to be recognized as a “team player”.
I had already clumsily driven past a few USMC gate guards and all the trouble that caused so I was perpetually nervous and appreciated anything anyone offered as far as help or guidance. This was before the Internet so I was relying on my uniform appearance based on officers I saw in the elevator and watching VHS tapes of “Winds of War” where Jan Michael Vincent played a submarine officer, with my rank of Naval Lieutenant.
At noon I was in the officer’s galley in line amongst a crowd of hundreds. Quite a few were looking at me, smiling, and some even laughing. I was pleased to finally be warmly recognized as a new guy, fresh out of 6 years of surgery training and so nicely welcomed. One fellow from way across the room stood up and gave me a double ‘thumbs up.’ I thought that odd but still reveled in the welcomed attention and acceptance I was feeling. Half way through my meal a civilian worker (likely former military) asked me if I knew that a large sized ‘Mickey Mouse’ was showing through the front of my uniform blouse? Looking down I could not really see it, nor did I try as my bladder jerked in nervous spasms all of a sudden. That AM I had put on a well used work out T shirt I got at Disneyland. A colored “Mickey” was showing through my thin summer white uniform. Thus, I now understood why I had hundreds of “new friends” in the galley. I quickly left and only years later learned from some of those there that I was deemed to have nothing less than “leather balls” to pull off such a stunt at the rank of 0-3.
I was recognized for not showing the least bit of anxiety as I leisurely walked down the aisles with a twelve inch bright colored Mickey Mouse placed on the front of my Navy working uniform. Little did anyone know I was completely oblivious and totally clueless to my situation.
To end that day I found I had parked in the Chief of Nurse’s parking place. Welcome aboard, Lieutenant.
Nice. Thanks, Bones, a prophetic nickname. As a Leading Petty Officer I saw and corrected numerous uniform violations, but I never saw Mickey’s smiling face on one.
Category: Navy, Professional Development
I had dreams/nightmares of showing up on a 12 hour watch officer shift in a class A coat and BDU pants and combat boots, but never had the desire to pull off a stunt like that in real life…
So Bones, did you ever make “knife and fork” school or did you get personal lessons from a “nice” ICU Nurse?
Or maybe it was parking lessons from the Chief of Nurses?
OK, here is my indoctrination into ‘what not to wear under whites’ club …
I was an HM3 and went to work wearing the white uniform and skivvies with hearts on them. Wife had given them to me. I never gave it a second thought. Well, a Chief noticed then and read me the riot act. It was one of the more memorable ass chewings I got in the Navy.
When I was a Chief, I had an HM2 who was not quite right show up wearing sandals. He told me he thought it was OK b/c his black shoes were not serviceable. IKYN. He later ‘accidentally’ set himself on fire. Guy was a genius but had a destructive nature.
I’m almost afraid to ask but how do you set yourself on fire?
Yes, please, let us in on that one.
He made a huge pile of limbs, trash, lumber, etc. about 15×15 in his back yard and poured GALLONS of gasoline over it. He then stood at the EDGE of the pile and lit a match. KABOOM!! Several gallons of unleaded went up in an instant and him with it. He was inside the area of vapors. His clothing caught on fire. The only thing that probably saved his life or at least from 3rd degree burns was that he had a swimming pool and he jumped in. He stayed in the pool for hours b/c the pain was that horrible. (Seems to me the chlorine in the pool would have made the pain more severe but he says not. I’m thinking he was initially in shock.) His eyebrows and some of his head hair were burned off. He finally came out when an ambulance was called. He told me he had hoped the pain would eventually go away and he would not need medical care. Jeez, his entire body was red with 1st and some 2nd degree burns. If he had not had a pool to jump into within a few seconds, he would have been horribly burned and disfigured. He made a recovery other than scarring. He was seconds away from charcoal. He had an exceptional IQ but, well, he was special.
He’s the guy who showed up for work in sandals b/c his black shoes were worn out. He didn’t think anything was wrong with that. Jeez
I’ve got a few of those working here, incredibly sharp in a book sense of the word but zero social skills and zero street smarts…I’m assuming they were the victims of many wedgies during their formative years.
Around here we call them “Engineers.”
Love burning the brush pile every few years. Usually in early Spring with a bit of snow left on the ground.
I insert a lit propane weed burner wand into the bottom and that works great.
I once did what the Mensa guy did but without injury. Scary thing to do.
The vapor stays low and you don’t smell it. Diesel fuel is safer but not cool to use and illegal.
Reminds me of walking out of the restroom and everyone smiling at me as I made way to my seat, nodding in recognition and smiling back.
Then my date pointed to the stream of toilet paper stuck to my shoe.
She wasn’t a “nice” ICU Nurse though.
Surely you have more about that.
Great story. Thanks for sharing Captain.
1973 flying with the Old Man and the new flight surgeon from Wertheim (EDOF)to Schwab Hall (EDOP) for some kind of meeting the new surgeon and CO had to attend. I had the H model warmed up when the CO gets in and the Doc gets in the back. We arrive, shut the bird down and all get out. Then I realize the new Doc has on Khaki Pants, fatigue shirt, dress greens jacket and oxfords. CO was giving him a quick verse on proper uniform but off they went to the meeting while the Crew Chief and I headed to the snack bar.
Small world. I worked EDOP operations from 80-83.
Doc says to to his patient, Sam you look great and will live past ninety so Sam says I am ninety so the Doc says to Sam, see, I told you so.
“Bones” and I missed each other at NHCP by 6 months – I had worked on the Pediatric Ward (8-N) for 18 months before heading off to Respiratory Therapy Tech School (NEC 8541/MOS 91-V)
I was at NH Camp Pendleton in 1984.
When i was a boot Ensign LDO going thru knife and fork school, i was leaving the school building when i saw a full Commander coming towards me. I was just about to snap off a salute when the good CDR did it first! Accompanied by a cheery “Good morning, sir!”
I returned the salute, of course, and added a “Carry on!” for good measure. Heh.
He must have seen my rows of ribbons and figured, “This guy HAS to outrank me!”
I figure he must have been a push button CDR with no more than a day in the USN.
Quick question, what’s knife and fork school?
I don’t speak squid 100%, just passably. lol
Keep ’em coming doc!
During my FASO (look it up, Hondo) tour, the schoolhouse where our spaces were also had the flight simulators, both static and motion. I was walking past the Sim, and was stunned by an apparition; a LCDR with black flight boots, a blue (smurf suit) flight suit, green flight jacket, and his khaki piss-cuter. All legit, but he looked like a bomb went off in a paint locker.
Well done, Bones.
Oh, and good writing, too.
Not quite the same thing but. As a young PR 3 aboard the USS Midway, I was busy FURing (Failure Unsatisfactory Report) Old flotation gear. Just as I wrote NFG in large letters on a one-man raft the Chaplain entered the PR shop. His Marine escort called attention on deck as he was a four stripper as I remember it. He came over to me and asked me what NFG stood for. The only thing I had ever heard was No Fucking Good. I didn’t dare tell him that and to this day I think he knew that. But my young ass was saved by a fellow PR who answered Non-Functional Gear Chaplain.
Now that was a friend with a quick wit…and that was some funny shit.
So, I guess I better sign myself in as “the other Bones”, now.
Dammit.
“Bones II” work?
How about Deuce Bones?
Double Bones?
The other Boner?
Our Squadron Commander reminded us that when fatigues were the uniform of the day they were to be tucked in, he didn’t want to see shirt tails hanging out. One of our surgeons, a Major who may have been out of Medical Officer knife and fork school for about a month, showed up the next day wearing tucked in jungle fatigues.
5th/77th FA and Msg Eric:
To the ‘unsquidified’ “knife and fork school” is called OIS and is for all new officer acquisitions. Some prior enlisted also go there, even though they could have 10 years in already. But the Navy feels it is necessary. I never did get to go to OIS. Just learned by asking, looking and from the senior guys I worked with. Learned “NAVSPEAK” on CVN-68 floats. So after a few yrs I slow-morphed to being adequately ‘salty’. My advice ? Beware where you park and go to OIS !
Half way through my meal a civilian worker (likely former military) asked me if I knew that a large sized ‘Mickey Mouse’ was showing through the front of my uniform blouse? –Article.
I can only say that a Mickey Mouse t-shirt showing through is fine. Certainly better that Mickey Mouse Underoos. 🙂