Memorial Day Melancholy – An Annual Re-post
Two or three times a year some of us geezer types get a bit tangled up in old times. Late April and much of May include several dates that trigger memories here.
Late April because my pop was declared KIA in Korea on April 25, 1951.
Early May because years ago I was discharged on May 9, 1969 from the Navy after spending over a year around Vietnam. Flew back into SFO IN UNIFORM and got spit at and called a baby killer on arrival.
And then there is Memorial Day. The advertisements for sales and off topic events make the day difficult to avoid, even if I wanted to. So I repeat this post with minor updates.
Circa 1950 pix of me ‘n dad
I was an Army brat the first few years of my life. I have vague memories (or memories of memories?) of several Army posts; in Georgia, in Arizona, and another place or two. Then my dad was deployed to some place called Korea sometime in 1950.
Three additional memories are a bit more vivid – the day we were notified he was Missing in Action and, sometime later, that his remains had been recovered, and finally, his funeral. I wasn’t allowed to go – I was deemed too young.
But, I have a Purple Heart.
He is buried in our home town, and there’s a small memorial in the city park there with his name inscribed. I visit both as often as I can. Even though I was only five or six at the time and will be 72 in about a month I still miss him. I have pictures and memories, and…
I have a Purple Heart.
For many others, like myself, Memorial Day has a face.
We’re past the 50 year anniversary of Vietnam and there is a wall FULL of my brothers and sisters who earned a Purple Heart
With that – Please don’t wish me a happy Memorial Day because…
I have HIS Purple Heart!
Category: Geezer Alert!, Politics
Zero. I was wondering about you earlier today, believe it or not. Glad to see your post. I recognized the pic immediately, Admiral.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place, and in the sky,
The larks, still bravely singing, fly,
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the dead; short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe!
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high!
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
I remember my mother telling me of Memorial Day commemorations (not celebrations) when she was in school prior to WWII. They always included the reading of a poem… In Flanders Fields. Perspective is a useful thing. The Viet Nam War Memorial in Washington DC has 58195 names inscribed on it. The British Expeditionary Force on the Western front in WW I anchored a portion of the line in Flanders Belgium known as the Ypres Salient. In that long ago bloody war to end all wars, the carnage was on a scale unimaginable today. My grandfather was a member of the US Army in WW I and drove a mule drawn ambulance. His grandson spent his wartime service flying around in a high tech aircraft. Compare the number of names of missing at Menin Gate and Tyne Cot with our Vietnam Memorial and then consider that those in Ypres are the ones whose remains were never identified/recovered. These don’t include the names from the Battle of the Somme that was the single bloodiest day in the history of the British Army. A little C&P action The Menin Gate Memorial to the Missing is a war memorial in Ypres, Belgium dedicated to the commemoration of British and Commonwealth soldiers who were killed in the Ypres Salient of World War I and whose graves are unknown. Its large Hall of Memory contains the names of 54,896 Commonwealth soldiers who died without graves, incised into vast panels. On completion of the memorial, it was discovered to be too small to contain all the names as originally planned. An arbitrary cut-off point of 15 August 1917 was chosen and the names of 34,984 UK missing after this date were inscribed on the Tyne Cot Memorial to the Missing instead. The Menin Gate Memorial does not list the names of the missing of New Zealand and Newfoundland soldiers who are honoured on separate memorials I’m one of the lucky ones. My father’s headstone in the National Cemetery is inscribed World War II, Korea, Vietnam. My mother’s headstone is inscribed Korea. While they served our country well,… Read more »
Have you news of my boy Jack?”
Not this tide.
“When d’you think that he’ll come back?”
Not with this wind blowing, and this tide.
“Has any one else had word of him?”
Not this tide.
For what is sunk will hardly swim,
Not with this wind blowing, and this tide.
“Oh, dear, what comfort can I find?”
None this tide,
Nor any tide,
Except he did not shame his kind —
Not even with that wind blowing, and that tide.
Then hold your head up all the more,
This tide,
And every tide;
Because he was the son you bore,
And gave to that wind blowing and that tide!
By Rudyard Kipling after his son was declared MIA and later KIA after the Battle of Loos 1915
Always nice to see this near Memorial Day. Your memories are exactly what Memorial Day is all about. Thanks for sharing those memories with us.
Thank you again Zero Ponsdorf, for sharing your memories of your father and family. God bless and keep you and yours Brother.
Thanks, Zero. I stay home and have thoughts. Thanks also AW1Ed. Semper Fidelis.
So few Americans have any skin in the game anymore. As a kid, my parents always took us to Ft. Logan for the Services on Memorial day. It was not a cook out day to my father. He served in Korea in the Navy and as we saw all the graves he would say I was one of the lucky ones. He always made sure we honored the sacrifice others made for our country. Peace everyone.
I still want to punch people every time they tell me they are going to “celebrate” Memorial Day Weekend. I say; “Celebrate what? Dead veterans?” That causes the frontal lobe to engage often times and is a conversation ender.
What gets me the most is the ones that you knew were better than you that didn’t make it. Three tours in the Middle East without even a scratch and while I appreciate that to no end, most days it just doesn’t make any sense. I guess it isn’t supposed to.
It’s like that with every national holiday now. It’s “July Fourth” and not Independence Day, which to them is a movie with Will Smith.
It fractures my broken heart a little more every time I hear this thought expressed. You can carry their memory and honor them without carrying that load. Lay it down.
They did the same thing as you did. Honor them by living, by embracing life, by holding on to who they were, what they did and then look in the mirror and know, with every breathe you take, you honor them. Lay down that load and you’ll breathe deeper, and honor them more.
I don’t let a Happy Memorial Day bother me, I’m just damn glad not to be a memory. 50+ years for me and I can still remember names, faces and where most of them lived before joining the Marine Corps and being sent to Vietnam to die.
I came back into Travis Air Force Base, got on a bus that took a bunch of us to the airpport in San Francisco and never had anyone say a damn word to me. I still had 2 1/2 years to go in the Corps and spent over 1 1/2 years of that in Southern California, never had anybody spit on/at me, call me a baby killer or give me any crap of any kind, and with my haircut at that time in our history there was no doubt that I was a Marine. The other 9 months or so was spent floating around off the coast of Vietnam and even though it counted as a combat zone it really wasn’t.
Thanks for posting this, ZP…
in 1959/1960 I was on a carrier in the south china sea, we were sending planes into vietnam, but my VA records say “peacetime”, isn’t that amazing, Armed Forces Expeditionary medal vietnam, we sent planes over to the troops and yet it was peacetime….we have a bunch of idiotic freaks in this govt!
With all due respect to those for whom Memorial Day is personal…
I choose to celebrate Memorial Day. I choose to celebrate the fact that one day a year, we honor those who have given us all their days. I choose to celebrate all we have because of them. I choose to celebrate that so many remember what Memorial Day means, even when too many forget, or never knew.
In reference to the thought, “The military is at war, America is at the mall”, my then 20 year old son home on his mid tour leave said, “that’s the point. We do what we do so they can be oblivious”.
Everyday is Memorial Day for those of us for whom the day is personal. I choose to celebrate the one day a year when I’m not alone remembering.
I wish you all a day of peace and gratitude, of peace while you remember. Let your hearts and souls be filled with the memories of the one, or the many, who make this day personal for you. Smile as you thank them for their gift to us all, smile in gratitude. Let yourself feel the awe we are blessed to live with, if we just remember how fortunate we are to have known them, loved them, and love them still.
“…if we just remember how fortunate we are to have known them, loved them, and love them still.”
When a Gold Star Mom writes words such as those, for many of us the message is more a command than it is advice. Thank you, Denise. You are a gift to us.
The flag is out in the flagpole holder. I’ll just leave this here.
Zero,
Long time my friend. Always think of you on Memorial Day weekend. And always so glad to see your post and the cherrished photo of you and your dad. Growing up without your father certainly has a big impact on ones life. Your mother did well raising you and should be commended too. For I know firsthand your character, patriotism, and service to our country. Thank you.
Your early life experiences correlate quite a bit with a very close family friend. My mom and our extended family to this day are best friends with the Bruce Beveridge (KIA Korea) family. Bruce had one child, a daughter Brucie, who was born after he was killed. It was a bit difficult for her growing up. Sadly there was no Sons and Daughters In Touch back then. The National Guard armory in my small hometown is named for him. His death affected so many and in many ways mine too. “The Forgotten War” is definitely not forgotten by me or our families. Your father’s Purple Heart is priceless, we will never let any of these wannabes ever debase it.
May you have a blessed Memorial Day!
William
I always read the posts involving those whose bodies have been recovered. I feel an affinity to those recovered from the Vietnam War, even though I was not a participant. Perhaps it is b/c they are ‘my’ generation. I learned only within the past few months that dad served not only in WW2 but also in Korea, being discharged in 1953. He never aid one word about either event, not one word. Reading of the mostly men who were lost I find very moving. For whatever reason, the closer to the end of hostilities the loss, the greater the influence on me. Some are lost mere days prior to the end of hostilities. These losses move me the most and I can’t explain to my satisfaction why this is so. Maybe it is b/c they were days from escaping the horrors of conflict but weren’t quite successful. I don’t know.
Thank you for the moving article and I see it again next year. And, again, I will find it moving.