Chinese Space Station Expected to Crash to Earth on April 1st
Can’t make this stuff up. Aerospace,org and Breitbart report the Tiangong-1 (“Celestial Palace”) is currently predicted to reenter the Earth’s atmosphere around April 1st, 2018 14:00 UTC ± 16 hours, somewhere. The estimated “target area” where debris could fall includes everywhere 43 degrees north and south of the equator, which narrows it down to anywhere in the United States, or southern Europe, Asia, Australia, or South America.
If that sounds exceptionally vague, it is. Still, it is not the first time humanity has been rained on by its own space junk. At least one satellite a year makes the same fiery descent to Earth. While Tiangong-1 may be the size of a bus, NASA’s Skylab was more than seven times as large when it scattered its remnants across the ocean and Australia in 1979.
Fear not; your chances of being struck by a part of the space station are roughly one in 300 trillion. That estimate comes courtesy of the European Space Agency, so it is almost certainly credible. Whatever could go wrong- anyone for Lottery tickets on Sunday?
Category: Politics
Many Chicken Little’s out there!!
OK I’ll bite….Who is the APRIL FOOL? lol
The sky(lab) is falling…
On April Fool’s Day…..
So, I guess a Barrett 50 probably wouldn’t have much affect against a renegade satellite.
We must get ahead of this issue. Ban all rogue satellites re-entering the atmosphere. We have to do this for the kids.
Ha!
It’s not so much the debris we should worry about, it’s the fuel tanks that aren’t supposed to burn up…
FIRST!!!
/April Fools
SkyNet will save us, if it doesn’t become self aware and triggers a nuclear war.
More junk from Chiner. I hope that the import tariff is in effect, in the event some of that stuff lands in the US.
Why couldn’t it have been the short bus?
The Short bus is committed. It is running, around the clock, down in Orange City, Florida, hauling MD 20/20 to some old wino wearing a puke stained, stinking, purple jump suit, and his used up, over the hill, fat assed, wannabe Chippendale dancer.
Standing by to become alarmed if and when being alarmed becomes appropriate.
Change 1 to Standing By Declaration: Replace “Standing by” with “Sitting by” in previously published announcement.
I am already alarmed that I should be alarmed, or that anyone else should be alarmed.
I may ask my insurance agent for a special rider for my HO policy to protect me from falling space junk landing on my rather small house.
Hack had the foresight to purchase Sharknado Insurance for Stately Stone Manor, but never thought of getting Soace Junk Insurance.
As it turns out, Hack Stone should be aware that a specialty insurance rider for the basic Homeowners coverage, while it can be costly, can be written for a specialty occasion.
For example, if Hack and the lovely Mrs. Stone decide to throw a birthday party for Infanta Stone, then Hack Stone may ask his insurance broker to provide a specific Host Liability rider for that part. This can include Host Liquor Liability, Host Cake and Ice Cream Liability, Host Rented Bouncy House Liability, etc.
It is a temporary rider to the basic HO coverage for a specific occasion. A Falling Space Junk rider with odds of 1 in 300 billion/trillion for a specified time period of – oh, say, Midnight Day One to Midnight Day Eight, can include liability for sidereal damage to neighboring properties, and will afford the insurance broker’s primary company an opportunity to hit up the Chinese government for the cost of the impact as well as any environmental damage and peripherals such as destruction of POVs and childrens’ bicycles.
Thank you for that valuable information. Hack just needs to find an insurance with a good reputation to purchase the policy from. I’ve been hearing good things about an insurance agent from Santee CA named Randy Voepel. Anyone know how I can get in touch with him?
I believe there is a certain Master Chief Petty Officer around here who can guide you in the right direction, Mr. Stone.
*well played, sir*
The proper way to test an insurance agent’s understanding of his products.
For property/housing protection, he should be able to define the following acronym in the blink of an eye: WHARVES.
Windstorm (tornadoes, derechoes, hurricanes)
Hail
Arson
Riots
Vandalism (kids today!)
Explosions (get a better stove, fer Pete’s sake!)
Steam
If s/he cannot explain that as quickly as I did, find a better agent.
P.S. “Explosions” also applies to your plumbing and pipes, and to your water heater, because gas water heaters are notorious for detonating and destroying a house if not properly installed.
I got a helmet.
Helmet? Well yes, but does it have intercepter antennae mounted on it, so you can determine trajectory? That would be valuable knowledge so you can know which direction to be facing, when it is time to put your head between your knees and kiss your keister goodbye.
They could always pull it down with the tractor beam at Dugway?
I can see the headline now…..
“Hillary Clintoon (sp?), on her world wide “It wasn’t my fault I lost the presidency tour”,
runs (stumbled) hellbent for leather across the tarmac, trying to dodge space junk. She was heard to mutter..”Damn Chinese deplorables.”
Film at eleven.”
Oh, sure. All y’all can be cavalier about a Chinese space station falling on your heads. Personally, I’m starting to freak out. One in 300 trillion is still risky, damnit. It might be time to start drinking heavily…
You have a better chance of being sued by Daniel Bernath (50/50) than having Chinese space trash fall on you.
Might?
I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that I live at 48 degrees north. I hoped it would come to rest on my ranch so I could cash in on Ebay. Or at least hold up the Chinese for the release of their property. My place is still snow covered which would make finding the debris easy.
Careful what you wish for, you could end up like Joe Dirt.
Ha! I’m at 42 north! Eat my degrees, losers!!!
43 Degrees North, eh?
I guess the alien spacecraft landing pad on Devil’s Tower is safe.
It’s at 44 Degrees North.
And I’m above 43 degrees North, all good.
But I’m still buying a Mega Millions ticket.
Damn Chinese dumping more of junk on us.
I love the graphic – “The Magic School Bus at the De-orbiting Chinese Space Lab”.
“Miss Frizzle says we have to go now before we burn up.”
Been waiting for the segue, thanks.
Since I don’t know how to directly post the video:
https://youtu.be/p4m-lNi61Rk
This could be an actual CNN segment.
It’s their own damned fault for buying their software from shitty assed vendor formerly located in Bethesda MD.
Those aren’t software bugs, they’re “enhancements!”
And they cost extra…to fix.
So… is norad or space command going to issue an alert when this thing comes down?
Can I sign up for a text message or something?
If not, WTF do I pay taxes for?!?
I wanna watch this thing!
The real question here is whether the space station or the school bus will incinerate first when the mass re enters earth’s atmosphere.
Oh well..keep looking up today..be careful
CAPT Bones
It could be the first automobile accident in space if hit hits Musks floating car in passing.
Purple Alert! Purple Alert!
Out-of-control 9-TONNE Chinese space station Tiangong-1 will give ‘splendid show’ when it crash lands on Earth!!
Link!
*grin*
Maybe if they made that Space Station better than they make cheap junk for Wal Mart…
“They” say that reentry has begun, but don’t seem to know where it is. Oh, well.
I’ll let you all know if it lands in my yard.