News from Norkiland for May 2017

If you have time to read all of this, you probably have too much time on your hands. But if you need a good laugh, have at it.

First of all, Fatty Kim da T’ird, aka NDtBF, wants the US to turn over all would-be assassins who have plans to bump him off.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/05/11/north-korea-demands-that-the-u-s-hand-over-would-be-assassins-of-kim-jong-un/?utm_term=.98883d21b791

Fatboy the Cheeseslayer has decided, in his wisdom, that the CIA and South Korea’s NIS want to poison him. Well, okay, but that was supposed to happen in 2014 and he’s still here, so either he’s having another episode of paranoid delusions, or he just isn’t getting enough attention from us lately. Since there were no specifics offered, and the potential assassin was ID’d only by his last name, which happens to be Kim, maybe the BF was frightened by his own image in the mirror. Or maybe it talked back to him.

Moving on, when Qian Qichen, China’s long-time ambassador to Norkiland, died on Tuesday at the age of 89, it ended a very long chapter in China’s diplomatic relations with the hermit kingdom and other countries. In 1992, Qian gave Norkiland, then under Kim Il-Sung (Daddy Kim) the bad news that China was establishing diplomatic relations with South Korea.

http://www.scmp.com/news/china/diplomacy-defence/article/2094007/when-late-diplomat-qian-qichen-had-give-north-koreas

Considering that subsequent to that, the North fired rockets at that island during a joint war games exercise between the US military and South Korea, it must have been annoying to realize that the non-productive North, with a political system that simply sucks dry the only country that will deal with it at all was being put on the back burner in favor of a country (South Korea) or countries (e.g., the USA)  that could provide relatively lucrative trade agreements and help bump up the Chinese economy. Pyongyang saw the move as a betrayal, despite Qian’s assurances that relations would remain the same.

And finally, Fatty Kim da T’ird has warned that hundreds of millions of us in the US of A will die if he can’t have his way.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/803077/north-korea-kim-jong-un-hundreds-of-million-in-us-die-war-erupts-nuclear-donald-trump

From what the linked article says, the threat is based on routine evacuation drills currently underway in the South.  There is confirmation that NDtBF has plans for a sixth nuke test, and I would like to remind skeptics that his last test, last year, (#5) had an estimated yield of 20 to 30 kilotons, per USGS seismic readings. The Hiroshima bomb (Little Boy) was supposed to be a 10 to 15 kiloton bomb, so the Cheeseslayer is getting up there in his efforts. Yes, I am keeping an eye out for odd seismic readings coming from the underground test area.  Unfortunately, the delivery system Fatty Kim da T’ird is trying to pony up hasn’t worked out quite as well as he’d hoped it would, which was probably behind his gas explosions on the 300-tank beach scene last week. I did not know that kim chi had that effect on people.

I can only hope that any Nork missile built makes landfall on the shores of LaLa Land, because my radishes finally came up and I’d like to harvest them. But if you have concerns about the possibility of a nuke hitting some place near you, now would be a good time to get the 10-year stored seed packs, the complete water filtration system, the solar-crank powered AM/FM/shortwave camper radio with a flashlight and siren, and that nice set of fishing tackle you were looking at in the catalogs over the winter. And stock up on bolts for the crossbows, too, and get the axes sharpened, in case you need to split firewood.

 

Category: North Korea