Perfect stocking stuffer for libs
All of you here at TAH likely have younger family members who were caught up in the swamp fevered idea of electing the nation’s first woman president and are now totally crushed because they had such a horrible candidate who failed so badly just because of those nasty Russians. They are hurting ever so much; tender psyches are twisted into aching knots because these precious snowflakes didn’t even get a participation trophy in spite of their blind support for America’s first presidential candidate to be under an active federal criminal investigation during the campaign.
But fear not faithful readers because Santa has sent ol’ Poe a last minute email suggesting the absolutely perfect stocking stuffer for our little butt-hurt darlings:
Santa is guaranteeing overnight delivery to any special snowflake you wish to offer some relief. C’mon, haul out those wallets and send those sweeties some serious salve-ation in the spirit of the season. (See what ol’ Poe did there?) And yes, according to Santa, it is available in case lots, packaged 144 tins to a case, for those serious buyers like W2, who has previously expressed a sincere concern for folks who are butt-hurt.
Ol’ Poe wants to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have put up with his rants for another year and to wish you a Merry Christmas. (Can we say that again, Jonn?)
Category: Politics
Many of the butt-hurt crowd would first have to get off their hurt butt, what with them sitting in mommy’s basement on said butt. Until their remedy arrives in the mail, they can collectively kiss my fat unhurt butt.
I bow to your priceless gift of gab, Poetrooper, and like you, I thank anyone who was brave enough to wade through piles and piles of my overwritten sentences created out of whole cloth and pocket lint.
Merry Christmas, Poe, et al.
Nice… I need three cases sent out ASAP…
MERRY Christmas ? All and a happy new year…….
I remember my safepace in infantry basic. In my dug out fighting position!
With proper overhead cover, of course…
You had overhead cover? You lucky grunt!
We weren’t allowed overhead cover in case it rained.
Rain = mortars.
Yes. You need overhead cover.
In infantry training school, rain equals wet falling from the sky. aka mood setting and training enhancer.
“If it ain’t rainin’ you ain’t trainin’!”
We never had any overhead protection other than a steel pot and ah helmet liner.
We never had any overhead protection other than a steel pot and ah helmet liner. Vietnam 70 to 71
Going fast at Amazon!
https://www.amazon.com/Butt-Hurt-Balm-sensitive-snowflakes/dp/B01I6DN94Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1482676904&sr=1-1&keywords=butt+hurt+salve
The only thing they left off was “silent dog whistle”. Other then that, spot on.
[…] This ain’t Hell… has the perfect stocking stuffers for liberals […]
Merry Christmas Poetrooper.
nd for those who think their shit don’t stink:
Is this a real, actual product that one can buy in stores? It should be a trivial matter to get someone to make an Absorbine knockoff and put it in tins with that label. Surely someone can do this.
So…anyone wanna’ put together a Kickstarter campaign to get this one going?
Let’s fill it with jellied capsaicin…
that will get them to forget about whatever they are whining about really fast !!!
CLASSIC and the perfect stocking stuffer for the Bernie-head or Hillarrhoid in one’s family!!!
And in this same train of thought, I wonder how many tins of Vermont Original Bag Balm the DRG go through during one of their monthly “meetings”?
Things that make you go Hmmmm.
This product, along with a Bag of Dicks™, will make a perfect Christmas gift for all of those butt-hurt butt heads.
I ordered a case and had them shipped overnight to Lars.
I did too…
So he’s gonna get about 100 cans of it. Might last about a week, maybe 10 days if he stretches it.
Ex-OS2,
I see an opportunity here. Just hear out my pitch, man.
Whoever is producing the original Butt-Hurt Salve are too narrowly focused on one end of the issue. As a result, many continue to suffer needlessly. I’m a humanitarian after all.
Help is at hand!
I have decided to release my original “Dr. Dash’s Two-Ball Throat Lotion,” in a convenient pump dispenser. My Two-Ball regimen is an adjunct to “Butt-Hurt Salve” for a more holistic approach to Chronic Orifice Irritation (COI).
I considered scores of potential pitchmen yet kept coming back to a single name: Ex-OS2. I know of no one who can so intuitively identify and so succinctly name the targeted consumer. “COCKSUCKER!”
No? Thoughts?
I like your “out of the box” thinking.
There is no doubt in my mind that you can sell pallets of it just in time for the inauguration!
“Dr. Dash’s Two-Ball Throat Lotion, the holistic approach for the fastidious cocksucker.”
Merry Christmas to everyone here who doesn’t need this as well. Enjoy the day of days.
Thanks for the shout out Poe! It’s been my life’s work, helping out the butt hurt get over their butt hurt. This product should go a very long way in helping those whose panties are in a twist and whose cheeks are chafed and all hurty.
Taxpayers that have had to fund All-Points Logistics have been using this product for years.
In a strictly “off-label/generic” capacity, of course…..
Also helps getting thumbs and Gerbils out of one’s arse.
My meager contribution:
http://www.redbubble.com/people/rightissoright/works/24569881-her-participation-trophy?asc=u
I don’t know how I missed this yesterday, but it’s from Reuters News, regarding a moron who teaches at Drexel U in Philly, who drew backlash from his twitterpated statement supporting white genocide.
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-pennsylvania-professor-idUSKBN14F154
Drexek U’s admin was not amused.
And while Cicciaro says it was ‘satire’ aimed at ‘white supremacists’ he didn’t label it ‘sarc’ or ‘satire’. He just threw it out into the ether looking for attention, Breitbart and others picked it up and were not amused, and this dimwitted ‘expert’ got more attention than he bargained for. Then he tries to weasel his way out of it by calling it satire???
Gee whize, he’s a white man. Let’s put him on the list to go after first, shall we?
Those of us with realistically low expectations are not gonna be nearly as butt hurt as you suckers who actually believe what he has to say, as incoherent as it is. A lot of his supporters are gonna need a triple dose of salve once they discover what suckers they are!