There’s Something Really Wrong When….
From the pen of Ex-PH2;
There’s Something Really Wrong When….
– you keep telling people you’re male/female and you’re straight, and they ask “Are you sure?”
– you realize that some day, you’ll be able to use longhand (cursive) writing as a secret code.
– you wonder when in the blue-eyed world Common Sense took a vacation and didn’t tell you.
– the minute another Earth-type planet is announced, you start wondering if you could move there.
– the media people who use the suffix ‘-gate’ for every dumb fuckup possible, including shutting down traffic lanes as a spiteful move, weren’t even alive when Richard Nixon got fired for his approval of the Watergate Hotel break-in.
– people think it’s okay to let illegal immigrants on welfare into this country, while legal immigrants spend almost forever achieving citizenship and become role models without sponging off taxpayers.
– you realize that your dog or cat is smarter and better educated than a lot of college grads you’ve met.
– you go to a movie theater, see a ‘Gun Free Zone’ sign and decide to go home and watch the movie on Netflix or Amazon instead.
– people take selfies at accidents before they call emergency services.
– a pregnant woman about to deliver her baby can’t cross the street to her hospital because some conceited politician’s cavalcade of cars won’t let her.
– criminals video themselves committing a crime and post it on YouTube.
– the tabloids at the checkout line have fewer stupid stories than your newspaper.
– the only thing worth reading in your newspaper is the list of farmer’s market dates and the comics.
– you’d rather watch shows on the Antenna TV network than the current offerings
– when the news comes on, you’ve already found more info online than the anchors have in front of them.
– you find a news story on a foreign news service that says US troops had mustard gas launched at them, but nothing on the stateside news, and nobody does anything about it.
– the headline in the news, and two full minutes’ worth of media attention, is that a couple of overpaid so-so actors have decided to get a divorce because one of them can’t keep his pants zipped and his wick dry, but a gas attack on US troops gets 15 seconds of air time.
– the TV weather forecaster says there’s a storm on the way to your area but it will break up before it reaches you, and 15 minutes later there’s a downpour on your street, and the rain lasts all day.
– there are six different forecasts for the winter ahead, and you sincerely wish the weather people would just admit that they don’t really know.
– it takes longer to get through the security check-ins at airports than it does to fly or drive to your destination.
– some douchebag braindead media twit says it’s a good thing that a jihadist used explosives instead of guns in his efforts to kill people.
– a bunch of stank ass hippies and hyper-rich gasbags think that the population on this planet should be reduced from +/- 7 billion to about 1 billion, but when you say ‘you first’, they give you horrified looks and sputter in protest.
– you get an e-mail from your subscription service to an earthquake reporting group that says North Korea set off a nuke, creating a seismic event that registered 5.3M, with a 20 to 30 kiloton explosion.
– you wake up one morning and realize that the Cold War Triad (USA, China, Russia/USSR) has been revived and the threat of nuclear war has raised its ugly head again, but this time it’s Iran and North Korea, and now you wonder if your friends with the underground bunker are as nutty as you thought they were.
Those are just a few items. I’m sure you all have more.
Category: Who knows
Nice work, Ex-. That was a fun read. I personally needed it. Sometimes, the world gets to be a bit much.
Thank you. Writing short pieces is a real release of pent-up frustrations.
ex-ph2…..you are RIGHT ON….all of it…and until people stand up and start putting some of these attackers 6 ft under, this is not going to stop but get worse and worse! But then thats what the cockroach in the off white house wants isn’t it? so he can push for martial law….may he be the first to be hung from the white house tree!
– when what would have been considered paranoia 10 years ago is now reasonable thinking.
– when what would have been considered a wild-haired conspiracy theory 10 years ago is played out on the national news, and nobody blinks.
– when you’re glad that your grandkids know how to shoot better than you do.
I need more coffee too. That was supposed to be “Graybeard” – although I like the sound of “Graybear” as well…
It’s a good thing drinking pots of java does not count as substance abuse…
I like ‘Graybear’, a lot. It has a nice ring to it, like some sort of spirit guide. Hmmm…. Graybear – he that walks forgotten paths in pursuit of the Looters of Souls.
🙂 🙂 🙂
I may just have to change my handle.
Thanks for explaining it that way EX, I was worried that Gray had decided to switch teams overnight….not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Don’t worry, VOV, I don’t abandon any team lightly, and then only under extreme duress.
However, the Mrs just may say that “Gray Bear” might be a bit more apropos in the mornings before coffee – if she ever got up before I had coffee.
Well put m’lady. Thanks for helping me know…I’m not alone.
You never have been, Sparks!
Agreed with all, but 100% spot-on with the tabloids having fewer stupid stories!
It’s almost like Men in Black was prophetic…
Or Heinlein’s “Crazy Years”
Heinlein’s character Nehemiah Scudder, a popular televangelist, rides a populist, racist wave of support to the Presidency, in ‘The Sound of His Wings’, which was not completed. The date of Scudder’s presidency was 2012. Scudder first appears in ‘For Us, the Living’, which was not published during his lifetime.
OK, y’all are gonna make me go dig out my Heinlein books and re-read them – in my “spare time” of course…
There’s a hole in the Future History, between all the weirdness of the Crazy years and the Second American Revolution.
For anyone who doesn’t know, the Australian Gutenberg Foundation has MANY books free which the US one does not. If the words Barsoom, Pellucidar, etc. mean nothing to you…go look ’em up. Practically ALL the ERB books are free. Not to mention Doc Smith, Rafael Sabatini, etc.
I want to thank Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt… I think it has been days since I heard the word “Kardashian.”
Ya’ll should get the book “The Last Centurion” by John Ringo, I think you’d all really enjoy it.
I used to think all the stories in tabloids were ridiculous until The National Enquirer broke the Monica stuff that the MSM would not touch.
Bingo!
It was a nice republic once. It really was. Not quite sure what it is now though. I hold out hope that the insanity will end, probably only after it gets even worse.
Maybe then, some of things you
enumerate will strike our compatriots as being as f-ed up as we do.
I hope so, too, but I think/hope this cycle of nutskyness is coming to an end.
Save me a couple seats on the boat to Earth 2, please.
I’ll only go if we can take Texas.
I still remember the (possibly apocryphal) story of Jim Bowie on his sick-bed fighting Santa Anna’s soldiers with guns, knives and anything in range until he died with a pile of the enemy around him.
Remember the Alamo!
Remember the Alamo!
I’m with ya on taking Texas with. My home state even though I’m not there anymore.
You never leave Texas, Blaster. You just get reassigned to help the less fortunate states survive.
We’ll save a spot at the campfire by the Frio for you.
Awesome!
I learned to swim in the Frio, just like George Strait
I was down there last weekend. 2nd Son works over there now, we went to visit him & Favorite Second Daughter-in-law. It was a good weekend.
Not too far to go to Fredrickburg. Between the Auslander and the Altdorf, you can get some pretty good German food there. Go on Oktoberfest weekend and you’d think you were in the 2nd heavens.
I live about an hour away from Huntsville Alabama and about an hour from Cullman Alabama which both also have fairly good octoberfests, but not as good as they were where your talking about. San Antonio always was pretty good too.
@ GRAYBEARD :
Amen, Brother!
When I was stationed at Fort Hood, I visited Goliad and the Alamo.
An EXCEPTIONALLY sacred place!
I wonder how long it will take for the politically correct a-holes to demand The Alamo and Goliad be eliminated from Texas and American history since so many Mexicans were killed in an “unnecessary war.”
We know what to do with them thar pc-types.
Ignore them.
When no-one listens to their drivel, they get frustrated and shut up.
Don’t ignore them. Laugh at them. Three ways; long, loud, and often.
They view all warfare as unnecessary. How long do you think that ‘view’ will prevail when (not if) they are attacked for real?
Earth #2 is in the Proxima Centauri system.
Let’s include Wisconsin and Montana in that list.
Ex, fuck Wisconsin.
OC in MN 😉
No. WI has cheeses of every sort, and a mustard museum. These things are important.
Wisconsin does produce some mighty fine cheese. And Montana does have some pretty country.
They ain’t Texas, but I suppose y’all can tag along if you want to.
A couple guys, one from MN and one from WI happened to be walking on a beach. They both spied something shiny, a bottle, in the sand at the same time. They both reached down to grab it and they both came up with it at the same time.
Poof, out comes a genie (calm down there, IDC SARC) and says “since you both had hands on the bottle at the same time, I’ll grant you each one wish. The guy from WI says “I want you to put a 10 foot high fence around the state of WI. to keep out the riff-raff.” The genie says “Poof, it is done.” He looks at the guy from MN and says “Well?” MN guy says “this wall around WI.? Nothin’ gets in or gets out?” Genie says “That’s right.”
MN guy says “Fill that fucker with water.”
I’m closer to WI than to MN. Move the Dakotas further south, put WI next to MT, but the Dakotas up against WY, and meld IA into IL, and you’ve got everything you need.
TX is a law unto itself.
And a paradise unto itself.
Whatever landforms you like best – mountains, oceans, hills, forests, deserts, rivers… we got ’em.
Whatever foods you like best – German, Mexican, Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, Southern… we got ’em.
And the prettiest girls in the world. A willingness to allow normal law-abiding folks to own guns, or not, as they prefer. Hard work, hard partying, long-lovin’…
Yeah – Heaven on earth.
Alpine has Dark Skies to accommodate the Observatory located there.
Alpine may be THE place to go to for the solar eclipse next year.
There’s something wrong with wanting to meet a member of the opposite sex when you must always wonder if a gal is really a gal, or a guy is really a guy.
There’s something wrong when, only a half century ago, our Country waged total war against the Third Reich, and today, our society enthusiastically demands and embraces the tenets of Nazi ideology, i.e., preferential treatment based on race, mandating politically correct speech, a controlled press, Hollywood and public schools being used for propaganda, forcing everyone to submit to searches when traveling, and deciding whose life is worth living and who must die, i.e., with the use of abortion and euthanasia.
There’s something wrong when the novels, “NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR”, “ANIMAL FARM”, and, “THE TIME MACHINE”, turn out to be actual descriptions of contemporary society.
AND – – – ,
There’s something VERY wrong if you are one of the Eloi!
There’s definitely decomposing material in Windmill-land when “Idiocracy” goes from a comedy to a documentary.
I agree 100%!
Truly-it is a stupid time to be alive. In large part this is due to the fact that our moronic, self-serving (not to mention self-selecting) “elites” love the trappings of their status, but abhor any responsibility that accompanies occupying high position. They talk endlessly about “speaking truth to power” while they are clearly the ones holding power. They are pathetic little children who comfort themselves with their delusions while the real problems in the world intensify and multiply. They are a portent of very dark times ahead.
Well, if we could find a planet where all those power-hungry nutballs** could be sent permanently, we could just get on with our lives, couldn’t we?
**That means ALL of them, from the bottom rack upward.
Restaurant at the end of the universe?
No, they’d enjoy being caught in the infinite loop too much.
My vote would be to send them to A Planet Called Shayol.
Libidiots advocate policies that do little more than act like Cordwainer Smith’s dromozoans with respect to society. Perhaps they should experience that type of effect personally.
I’ve heard that Ceti Alpha V is a real garden spot.
It might be a step in the right direction to strip them of all of their escorts and armed security, and make sure their lives are only as safe as the street outside their (non-bullet-proof) windows. Maybe that would encourage adulthood and responsibility in them.
Oh, but their lives are so much more worthless than ours! They produce hot air, enough to float a balloon. There’s no end to their greed and grasping. Responsibility is not a word they understand.
Enjoyable read, thank you Ex-PH2!
You’re quite welcome. Add your own ideas to it. That was the reason for writing it.
That was awesome Ex, and spot on.
Thanks! Add your own observations, too.
You finally understand why it was a curse when the Chinese said, “May you live in interesting times.”
Re-birthing is a difficult process, SEA.
“There’s Something Really Wrong When….”
1+1=3
… THEY said so!
Common Core…
Building Stupid people one person at a time…
Hey PH did you get my bird pics today
Yes, I did. Awesome stuff. Beep Beep!
Only if you use sin and cos.
Ask one of these ‘college grads’ to balance a checkbook. Just don’t laugh too hard.
They have problems predicting the weather a few days to a week in advance but yet we’re supposed to believe these “Climate Experts” predicting doom in twenty to fifty years. SHIT, I remember being told in the late eighties that over 50% of the human race was going to be DEAD by the year 2000 due to deforestation, climate change, acid rain and ozone depletion. Didn’t Al Gore Junior predict enough ocean level rise to inundate NYC streets by at least a year ago?
I’m trying to remember what started the acid rain scare in the 1970s. I do recall pictures of parts of the Black Forest that were full of dead firs, attributed to acid rain. But they failed to take into account that the pine bark beetle is worse. I’ve seen its attacks on any kind of pine in my area. It’s a nasty bug.
Acid rain was supposed to be the death of ‘the ecosystem’. Well, we’re still here.
If ocean levels are rising, please explain how in Lulea, Sweden, a Stone Age camp that used to be by the shore is now 125 miles from the Baltic Sea. Sheep graze on what was the seabed in the 15th century. And Sweden’s port of Lulea risks getting too shallow for ships.
The people who say these things are control freaks. We cannot control anything this planet wants to do, but they will never admit to it, so I like to scare them with the fact that some day, the entire Rift Zone of East Africa will split open and drift away from the rest of the continent of Africa. Try that on some of them some day and watch their minds go completely blank.
I also remember the eco-doomsday crap they were screeching in the seventies saying that we were going into a manmade ice age due to particulates from hydrocarbon consumption blotting out sunlight, that never happened either. Today in the Continental U.S. we have cleaner air and water than previous decades and there is currently more forested acreage now than we had in the 1920s. I used to be a HAZMAT contractor and I saw more cleanups hampered and/or halted by bureaucracy and do-gooders like the Sierra Club, Greenpiss and the like. One one job they screeched, cussed and threw crap at us and we were the cleanup crew! Once the snooze media departed, so did they to go wait in line at a welfare office or go get stoned, screw them!
I know. I have never seen the sky as deep blue as it has been the past 10 years. Even when there is ice falling out of cirrus clouds in the summer, the sky is this clear cobalt blue that says ‘no pollution’. And it’s frequently cold at night, IN THE 50s, in the summer, because there isn’t enough ‘junk’ in the atmosphere to keep heat from radiating into space.
But tell Them that, and you get blank looks and an argument.
There’s something really wrong when…
a major league baseball player is suspended w/o pay for the remainder of the season for tweeting in opposition to BLM and anthem kneelers but those who favor and encourage such things are said to be exercising their free speech.
http://www.foxnews.com/sports/2016/09/24/mariners-suspend-catcher-for-tweets-on-black-lives-matter-police-shootings.html
When snowflakes meant you got to have fun, but now snowflakes has become a descriptive word for the whining liberals who need #safespaces from #microaggressions
But…. but… growing up is HARD, Defend! (Gigglesnort)
Thank you for my morning laughfest!
Came late to this post.
You da bomb, PH. A great read.
Now, about that sammich …
I’m going to put this here, because it will take me a while to get over the urge to spit cheap wine in Mabus the Maggot’s face.
There’s something really wrong when a job designation that goes back literally centuries is scrapped on a whim.