Because those fat retirement checks just aren’t enough sometimes

| September 3, 2015

The Army Times reports that the Army has created new award “to recognize “the demonstrated superior accomplishments and leadership that contributed to the efficiency, efficacy and overall improvement in the operations of the Army or its elements””. It’s just for the wienies at the Pentagon – you know those guys for whom the fat paycheck just ain’t enough.

The [Army Leadership Award] will be presented upon an official’s retirement or conclusion of service at Army headquarters.

The ALA will be awarded at the discretion and approval of the secretary of the Army, but eligibility is limited to a small cadre of senior leaders, as follows:

Military: Army chief of staff, Army vice chief of staff and sergeant major of the Army.

Civilian: Presidentially appointed and Senate-confirmed officials who serve as secretary of the Army, undersecretary of the Army, the five assistant secretaries of the Army and general counsel of the Army.

I guess there has to be just a little bit more when you already have three Legion of Merit and four Meritorious Service Medals and retirement is just around the corner. And, you know, just BEING the Army Chief of Staff isn’t quite enough.

Nominations for the award will consist of a one-page narrative to be submitted on a DA Form 1256 (Incentive Award Nomination and Approval).

Yeah, I can see a lot of the nominations won’t be approved.

Category: Big Army

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CB Senior

F-ing boner pin. Anyone wearing it should be laughed at non stop. Does is go next to the Bronze Star, you know the one without the V.

MustangCryppie

Well, they need SOMETHING to help them get a job after they retire!

/sarc off

Just plain stupid.

Ex-PH2

I can just hear the snarking now.

Hondo

A new award restricted to “echelons above reality”, eh? Well, somehow this just seems apropos here.

HMCS (FMF) ret.

Took the words out of my mouth… got to stroke those big egos (and little wangs) as the leave the service… another “participation” award for the brass.

FasterThanFastjack

Funny, I was thinking something a bit more this speed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7gMkiOPSeA

Hondo

Nah. The kind of “strokin’ ” Clarence was talking about is worthwhile. Squier was describing a verbal hand-job, which is, well, a verbal hand-job.

Dapandico

Participation ribbon for the Beltway Commandos.

Jon The Mechanic

There is a good reason that there is a saying “nothing good comes from higher headquarters”. This is the latest example of this saying becoming truth.
I honestly believe that whoever came up with this award was pushed into and stuffed in lockers while in high school and never got their needed hugs from mommy and daddy as a kid.

2/17 Air Cav

“the demonstrated superior accomplishments and leadership that contributed to the efficiency, efficacy and overall improvement in the operations of the Army or its elements””.

Put another way, if you do not get one of the baubles (w/ accompanying framed certificate/citation) then:

“[Name and rank or office] FAILED to demonstrate superior accomplishments and leadership or, if [Name and rank or office] did, the accomplishments and leadership FAILED to contribute to the efficiency, efficacy, and overall improvement in the operations of the Army or its elements and, in fact, may have been antithetical to those objectives.”

I would like to see my version awarded to the one person (if there is one) who doesn’t receive the bauble.

MustangCryppie

That reminds me of a sea story. It’s true. No shit.

Don’t know about the other services, but in the Navy if you are in a “seagoing” billet you could be promoted under the “Command Advancement Program” (CAP). The Sailor is selected for superior performance and is given the next rank without testing etc.

Anyway, when I was an XO, my skipper liked to be creative how the Sailor found out his or her CAP.

So, he tasked me to be creative. Yikes! I didn’t think an XO had to be creative. Just an asshole.

Well, I decided to take a Flag Officer Letter of Commendation and just reversed the positive to the negative.

We called for an All Hands Call and had the “victim” come to the front to get his LOC. Pretty standard. His eyes just got bigger and bigger and bigger as I read the citation. At the end of it, we presented his certificate and in the folder we had placed his new crow.

It was awesome!

I actually heard from him a few years after. He asked if I still had a copy of the LOC so that he could prove to his buddies that the event really happened.

Man, I wish I still had that LOC.

John Robert Mallernee

When I was promoted from Private First Class, E-3, to Specialist Four, E-4, I was a Field Radio Relay and Carrier Equipment Repairman (MOS 31L20) at the Phu Lam Signal Battalion, 1st Signal Brigade, in Saigon.

I was ordered to report to the Company Commander’s office, because apparently, I was in some sort of trouble.

After informing me of my promotion, the Company Commander asked me to, when I left his office, to pretend I was upset about being punished for something, so that the next guy coming in to receive his promotion would think he was in trouble.

Well, I did it so realistically, that I got chewed out for insubordination!

CLAW131

I am so glad I was never in an outfit that had the time to perform private promotion ceremonies in the Company Commander’s office, especially for PFC to SP/4.

My notification of promotion from PFC to SP/4 came via the required daily reading section on the company bulletin board, right next to the perimeter guard duty/next day’s shit burning detail roster.

OldSarge57

And you just know every PX/BX/Exch is going to stock a whole rack of the damn things.

I guess Kirath Toney set the bar pretty high for our senior leaders.

Green Thumb

Weak.

But would we expect anything less from the Secretary of the Army and the Chief of Staff?

A couple of weak motherfuckers.

Losers.

A Proud Infidel®™

AS IF the perfumed pampered powdered princes of the Pentagon don’t already have enough bling, money and privilege…

Ex-PH2

But they don’t have what we have, do they?

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Next thing you know they’ll be authorizing marital fidelity awards for the few senior officers who don’t cheat on their spouses….that seems to be a rare thing these days.

Or maybe a nice, I didn’t misappropriate funds to procure travel vouchers for my mistress awards….

Fucking slugs.

Green Thumb

I wonder if you can put yourself in for the award?

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Only if you’re headed to APL after retirement…

CLAW131

Sounds like another government contract was just granted to Medals of America for miniature shadow boxes.

E-6 type, 1 ea

Congratulations! As Chief of Staff, you’ve lost more wars than every other Army Chief of Staff in US history combined, doubled.

Here’s your ribbon.

The Other Whitey

I always thought that if a person made such a great contribution to the office, that it was customary for his/her peers and subordinates to all pitch in to buy them a plaque or a nice watch or a personalized coffee mug or something…

WTF?

CLAW131

Maybe this is a direct result of that not happening for Chandler and Ordierno.

Now it’s a command mandate that it will happen.

David

So in other words, this is an award for doing hat a superior officer is supposed to do.

FatCircles0311

It’s an NCO only award right?

Bobo

This is pretty much an indication of all that has gone wrong with the Army. Somewhere, some boot licker came up with this grand idea. It was then pitched to someone with enough horsepower to make it happen. That senior leader didn’t automatically dismiss the idea as one would have expected, but embraced it wholeheartedly and forwarded it to the powers that be. All so that his 4 star peers can get yet another accolade, because everyone knowing that you are a former CSA or VCSA just isn’t enough.

I’m in an organization that includes a former VCSA. The next time I see him I’ll ask him what he thinks of it. I’m guessing that it won’t be positive.

Brown Neck Gaitor

I blame Eric the Hat for this.

I want a black beret. Everyone gets a black beret!!!

fm2176

Great idea! Now those top echelon leaders can feel accomplished as they leave their military or civilian positions. I won’t argue with the civilian side of our leadership getting such an award; they don’t receive all the baubles that generals and top level E-9s get over decades of uniformed service. Also, I’ve never served in any civilian capacity, so I have no idea of what that climate is like. Uniformed leaders, though, are hardly in need of yet another “you dun good” award.

Senior general officers and SMAs receive military awards almost never presented to anyone O-5 and below (and rarely even seen on the uniforms of Colonels through Major Generals). That is perfectly fair, as it is those senior leaders who run the Army as a whole. This award is as redundant as presenting a Certificate of Achievement or AAM to someone who just earned their EIB. “Here’s your EIB (Defense Distinguished Service Medal), which you earned and can wear with pride. But wait, there’s more! Here’s a COA (ALA) to recognize your accomplishments!” I guess it makes as much sense as anything else in the Army.