Michael Warning; steals Humvee

| July 5, 2015

Michael Warning

Chief Tango sends us a link to the story about Michael Warning, reportedly a veteran who stole a Humvee military vehicle from Fort Gordon, Georgia and led police on relatively high speed chase to South Carolina;

The Aiken County Sheriff’s Office says the suspect stole the military vehicle from Barton Field at Fort Gordon, where it was on display. Deputies say the suspect was ex-military. “It’s just a crazy time now, so we just didn’t know what was going on. We had no idea that they weren’t all together,” Hiers said.

The first call came to dispatch around Mile Marker 11. The chase finally ended about twenty minutes later after deputies say the car swerved on and off the road, left the interstate on Exit 18, and later, cut through the wood line. When the driver got back on the Interstate, deputies say they were able to stop him. Investigators say the twelve thousand pound Humvee nearly collided head on with a patrol car.

The article says that Warning was taken to the hospital for an unknown medical condition, of that I have no doubt. They also point out that he wasn’t injured during the chase on Friday evening.

Category: Dumbass Bullshit

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Sparks

High speed chase in a Humvee? Didn’t know that was possible.

MrBill

They can’t say that this incident happened without Warning.

Hack Stone

You forgot the best part of your comment.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9CdVTCDdEwI

MrBill

Thank you very much, I’ll be here all week.

Hack Stone

I will try the veil, and I will be sure to tip my waitress.

Sparks

Hack Stone, I didn’t read all the posts and you beat me to…the veal. 😀

A Proud Infidel®™

Make sure you give a GOOD tip, something like “NEVER eat at a cheap Oriental Restaurant next door to a dog pond”!

Flagwaver

I’d rather try the waitress and tip the veal.

Sparks

Hey..try the veal!

Ex-PH2

Is this because we’ve been having a full moon again? Seems like the dingalings are loose everywhere.

Green Thumb

Nah.

Phildo probably got his Humvee repossessed due to lack of payments. (It happens when contracts dry up.)

So he sent this clown to get him another one.

I have been saying this for the past few years and I will continue to say it, the bar is not very high at All-Points Logistics.

Hack Stone

No matter how high (or low) the bar is set, Phil is always able to reach it. That explains his DUI. BTW, are there any signs popping up on Merritt Island byways saying “This Road Adopted By All Points Logistics”?

Green Thumb

All-Points logistics future Vice President of Acquisitions.

The “less-than-honorable” COL KWII and this dude.

What a team!

2/17 Air Cav

Nothing beats the guy who played crunch-a-munch years ago in a tank.

Hack Stone

Are you talking the San Diego event in the mid 1990s? Or the one out in 29 Palms around 1981? Or perhaps the one in West Germany in the early 1980s. That last one ended up with the tank going over the side of a bridge.

2/17 Air Cav

Um…ah…yes!

John Robert Mallernee

That’s nothing!

When I was at Fort Hood, Texas, an enlisted soldier stole an M-60 “Patton” tank, and led police on a low speed chase to Copperas Cove and Coryell County.

I think they got him when he ran out of fuel.

If I recall, I think a guy in California also stole a tank, and was shot and killed by police.

But, it was a long time ago, so I’m not sure of my facts.

John Robert Mallernee

I remember the guy in California drove his tank over several parked cars.

I think that’s why they killed him.

The guy at Fort Hood, I think, was drunk.

Hack Stone

The best part of that was when he pushed an RV into a tree, and the RV disintegrated.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XnUoUKEIGoo

I like how the narrator tries to hype it like the guy has a full combat load. And unless the guy in the tank is John Rambo, most tanks require more than one guy to drive, load and Fire.

Just an Old Dog

The guy in Cali got he Tank stuck on one of the concrete barriers dividers. He was butt naked and on Crystal Meth.
The cop that shot him was a Marine reservist who I went to the 1st Sgts Course with Later.
The guy had no other weapons on him, but they didnt know what he had when they popped the hatch. They weren’t taking any chances. The Tank thief had served in the Army as a tanker.

Just an Old Dog

Correction the Marine was not the one who shot him, it was his partner, also the man was shirtless but not naked.

Flagwaver

I remember that. Oddly enough, the cop that ended up shooting him was a National Guardsman and an 11H (anti-armor infantryman).

Herbert J Messkit

In the early to mid nineties some clown stole a fuller from a ft hood motor pool and got all the way to oregon

Andy11M

Well, you know what they say, it’s some peoples job in this life to serve as a….Warning to others.

Club Manager

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. RAF Schulthorpe, England, about 1960. A group of us discovered the enlisted club and it was our first (and only) visit. While we had a ride there, it was a very long walk back to the barracks and we encountered a bus parked with the key in the ignition. My bud and I were not “critically thinking” having also discovered Tom Collins. I had not yet fully mastered my driving skills particularly on the left side of the road but thought I was hot shit anyway. Thankfully there was no traffic or patrols that time of night and we quickly decided walking was better than the stockade. I managed to return the bus back to the original location. Funny thing was no one ever figured out what made the tire tracks around the flag pole which we heard about at guard mount the next day.

A Proud Infidel®™

Uhhmm, I’ve *COUGH*, heard that uparmored Humvees can reach eighty MPH. Twelve thousand pounds? Meh. I remember being taught that the curb weight of an uparmored M1114 (Truck with full fuel tank sans equipment or personnel) is 10,100 pounds.

Enigma4you

Me and a few others got tapped to get a Gov Drivers licence, We were on a Carrier so we did not get a chance or really have a reason to drive very often. MM3 Mannon was a good friend of mine and had not driven in years. We were all piled in the van to take the road test and when his turn cam he told MA1 that he had not driven in a long time and never anything as big ad that van. MA1 said its like driving a bike, about the same time MM3 hit the gas I heard him say he has never learned to ride a bike.

A professional stunt driver could not have done it better, at one point we were sliding side ways and going forward at the same time, never hitting a cone, every stop was a full stomp on the brakes skid followed by rapid full throttle. MA1 one was yelling MM3 was in a panic and the rest of us were equally split between laughing our asses of and knowing we were going to die.

Later discussion discovered that MM# had never driven an automatic, most of his time behind the wheel wason a tractor or in a small farm truck and he had only gotten his full licence the week before he left for boot camp. So he could have an ID. .

Poetrooper

In 1966 at the 101st Base Camp, Phu Yen Province an enterprising trooper somehow got a deuce and a half out of the motor pool, drove it to nearby Tuy Hoa where he reportedly got $3,000 in greenbacks for it on the black market.

I can’t remember if they ever caught him.

Perry Gaskill

Were they using greenbacks in ’66, Poe? By ’71, everything was supposed to have switched over to that funny money MPC you could only spend in RVN.

Personally, I think the guy stealing the deuce-and-a-half was being a bit selfish about things; if you’re going to steal something, you’re better off doing it for the greater good. When I was at LZ English, a very large trailer-mounted air conditioner magically hitched itself to a truck and, like a puppy, followed a convoy home to where it mysteriously attached itself to the day-room hootch we were using at the time.

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

His cousin Larry Trouble stole a helicopter last year and crashed it directly into moonshine camp.

Yeap … Google it!

Hack Stone

I Binged it, but came up empty. However, I did find this gem.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1974_White_House_helicopter_incident

The moral of the story is never to underestimate the impulsive stupidity of a PFC.

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

Dude,

Seriously?

You Googled it!

OK, his other cousin Herb Catastrophe stole a tank and drove it through a whore house in TX …

Google that!

Ah, shitz … Dude, I am laughing so hard I am ’bout to blow my stitches!

Hack Stone

Stop abusing the Internet. We have to use it for what Al Gore designed it for, surfing for porn. And setting up incoherent websites with piss poor photoshopping skills. And pushing military into “self murder”. Not too sure about that last one, but that is what some Honorary Glider Pilot has been saying.

Enigma4you

Its ok Hack, I know a Master Chief that called the White House and asked for Enigma…

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

Yeah, You got me!

I have so much time on my hands now!

nbcguy54ACTUAL

I was at Ft Carson when an enterprising idiot tried to drive to Denver in an M109.

Didn’t quite make it…

CLAW131

I remember that, too. I think it happened sometime around Veterans Day of 1987, shortly after we had returned from doing a Fall REFORGER.

The funniest thing about that whole deal was that after the howitzer broke down and while they were waiting for a draggin-wagon to come retrieve it, the Denver cops issued a “excessive hours illegal parking” citation/ticket and left it duct taped to the M109.

Cops with a sense of humor are pure gold.

David

in Colorado? Not a shock, there is a picture here a year or so back of the Army Blackhawk assisting in flood relief in Boulder which was cited for a parking violation… think it was facing the wrong way.

Seabee Guy

“It’s just a crazy time now, so we just didn’t know what was going on. We had no idea that they weren’t all together,” Hiers said.

Who in the hell is Hiers and what is he/she talking about?

PFM

I can remember at Bliss in the mid 80s a woman in her Corvette got impatient and didn’t want to wait for the 113 column to pass – did not end well for her.

Jarhead

File this under Idiots With A Driver’s License. For a short time I was stationed at Quantico. One day I’m sitting on the passenger’s side of a duece & a half going down the road on base. Driver gets pulled over for speeding, doing probably 40+ in a 30 MPH zone. He INSISTED that I being a friend NEEDED to go with him to face the officer he had to explain his transgression to, hoping I could bolster his B. S. excuse. When he told the dude that on the OPPOSITE side of the street, less than a half mile ahead was a 40 MPH speed limit sign, what could I do other than clam up? Anybody ever hear of a Section 8? If I was going to open my mouth to support that level of critical thinking, I’d have to be drooling and pissing my camos at the same time. “License revoked for 30 days, and the closed-mouth imbecile sitting beside you did a good job keeping his lips sealed!” True story.

Guard Bum

Those guys have nothing on LCpl Foote; I was a newly minted Warrant Officer with MAG-32 when LCpl Foote stole an A-4 Skyhawk (I was in H&MS-32 and we still had OA-4Ms back then) and I have to admit he was somewhat of a cult hero among the down trodden.

His mom talked the Commandant out of dropping the disciplinary barracks hammer on him…..This doofus stealing a HUMWV aint shit!

http://articles.latimes.com/1986-07-05/local/me-20219_1_el-toro

Guard Bum

I should clarify…he didnt steal one of our Skyhawks, we were at Cherry Point and he stole his at El Toro.

Hack Stone

I remember that one. Thanks for saving me the effort of looking it up.

As to (see what I just did there?) the San Diego stolen tank, when that was still in the news, it neatly dovetailed into a Marine Corps urban legend (barracks legend?) about Steve McQueen stealing an Amtrack and painting it pink. The newspaper (can’t recall whether it was LA Times or SD Union Tribune), but they actually interviewed the Marine that did steal an Amtrack back in the late 1960s. He headed south on the Pacific Coast Highway (before the advent of I-5), and ran out fuel near Del Mar (the city, not the Pendleton area). The Marine said that he was court martialed, busted down, then shipped off to Vietnam, and finished his enlistment. Back at the time of the article, he worked on a riverboat casino, and had to disclose his court martial whenever he reaped for his dealer’s license.

CAARNG 68W

My God….Foote went to the same high school I did…I even know a good looking girl the same….will respect her privacy on a public forum.

Skippy

Well crazy here, gets… the SOB Award for Sunday…
By unanimous Vote LMAO ! ! !

Mr. Wolf

I always wondered what Jason Stathem did on his off-days…