Because…Florida!

| May 28, 2015

marlon-alvarez

Marlon Alvarez went to court today and, you know, I could tell you about it, but here’s Broward Judge John Hurley instead;

“You allegedly went into that pawn shop and removed an AK-47 rifle on display and stuck it down your pants,” the judge read from the arrest report. “After a while, [you] pulled it out, put it back, then grabbed another assault rifle off another display [and] put that down your pants.”

Then young Marlon tried to leave the store, despite a pronounced limp. The owner confronted him outside and recovered the firearm and Alvarez went on the lam, forgetting that folks who sell firearms have really good security cameras which helped police arrest him later. Now the youngster is resting comfortably in the Graybar Hotel waiting for someone to scrape together $25,000 bond. The judge also revoked bail from an arrest less than two weeks ago.

Category: Crime

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AW1Ed

“Are you glad to see me or is that an…”

Never mind.

MustangCryppie

When I was a beat cop, I was always amazed how dopey these bozos acted. Just plain stoopit.

Smitty

You know after the first rifle was stuffed down hisbpants, the owner was just laughing at him wondering what the idiot thought he was going to do next

Instinct

It’s kind of a shame that he didn’t try anything further. I’m sure the owner could have air conditioned his brain bucket for him and saved us some money.

Silentium Est Aureum

Meth, bath salts, (insert dope here.)

Not even once.

Green Thumb

It looks like the False Commander Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) is now diverting funds from his “security” department into his own pocket.

And this is the fallout.

I guess you cannot blame the man for attempting to acquire a little “five-finger” protection.

gitarcarver

Well, it is not always Florida’s fault that we attract criminals.

Police: Air Force pilot traveled to Brevard to meet minor

A U.S. Air Force pilot is in custody after authorities say he traveled to Brevard County from Tampa for a sexual encounter with a 14-year-old child.

Christopher Everding, 27, was charged with online solicitation of a parent or child, according to the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office. He is being held in the custody of the U.S. Marshals Service.

Police say the investigation began after Everding contacted an undercover agent in an Internet chat room. The agent was a member of the sheriff’s office’s Sexual Offender Registration and Tracking Unit, or SORT.

http://www.floridatoday.com/story/news/crime/2015/05/28/police-air-force-pilot-traveled-to-meet-minor-for-sex/28086577/

Flagwaver

Last time I checked, pilots were panty droppers. This bozo decided to throw away everything why? You’d think this would have come out in the extensive psyche profile that I know those jet-jockey’s have to take.

2/17 Air Cav

“This bozo decided to throw away everything why?” Hell, this isn’t some stupid decision made while pissed off or drunk. This SOB spent weeks chatting on line with what he thought was a little girl. He then arranged to meet with her for what the civilized world calls child sex abuse, rape, and molestation. A search warrant has been executed for his residence by now and you can bet there will be more charges coming his way.

David

The funny part is that Shaquille O’Neal is a reserve cop and does the internet chat/sext sting thing… can you imagine someone showing up to meet the 14 year od of his dreams and there’s Shaq?

JarHead Pat

I didn’t know internet chats rooms were still around?

A Proud Infidel®™

I’ve heard that a number of LEO’s say they don’t have time to catch the smarter crooks because the stupid ones keep them busy 24/7. This critter lends credence to that saying.

sj

In every gun shop I’ve been in the staff was armed to the teeth, including open carry of hogs.

My rule of gentlemanly behavior in them was to smile a lot, no sudden movements, and keep my hands visible for the staff and cameras. Never had a problem.

A Proud Infidel®™

I’ve yet to go into any sizeable gun shop where at least a number of their employees didn’t openly carry except for a Bass Pro or Cabela’s outlet, but I’m sure there were people carrying heat in there, just not openly.

SFC D

Got a ranch supply store here, the lovely young ladies in the gun dept. are all packing. Makes my heart smile!

A Proud Infidel®™

Babes With Guns,… *slobber*, *drool*…

GOOGLE IT, I dare you, *WARNING* make sure spouse is not around when you do.

Ex-PH2

Am I alone in thinking this guy likes to stick strange things down his pants?

Thunderstixx

Pervert…
Shame on you…..
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
You win!!!!!

Nicki

I was hoping he’d actually negligently discharge the firearm in his pants, taking himself permanently out of the gene pool, but we couldn’t get that lucky.

Ex-PH2

I had that same hope, Nicki. I was sad that it didn’t happen, too.

Guard Bum

Florida has its own FARK category….nuff said.

ChipNASA

*Waves* Farker since 2003.

Guard Bum

Cheers. I didn’t think I would be the only one here!

Kinda old ET1

Nope you are not.
Florida! Yeah!

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

Conversation heard outside gun shop and transcribed for TAH reading pleasure:

Crack Whore: “Is that an AK-47 in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”

Marlon: “Ah yeah”.

Dustoff

Today an AK, tomorrow a GAU-8

PavePusher

“assault rifle”….

Sigh….