Joshua Van Haften; ISIS Recruit
Fox News reports that this Joshua Van Haften fellow was arrested Wednesday at O’Hare International Airport in Chicago when he arrived back in the US from a failed trip to join ISIS. Apparently, Mr. Dimbulb couldn’t get across the border to Syria from Turkey. The coyotes who were supposed to be helping him took his money and left him along the side of the road and told him someone would be along to help him the rest of the way – but no one showed up.
The complaint says Van Haften’s former roommate told FBI officers that he made comments referring to jihad. When asked to explain what he meant, the complaint says, Van Haften folded a $100 bill to make it look like the twin towers of the World Trade Center that were destroyed in the Sept. 11 attack. The complaint says Van Haften folded another $100 bill to look like a missile.
[,,,]
U.S. Attorney John Vaudreil called Van Haften a flight risk. He also said Van Haften’s mental health will likely come into question during the trial.
“In any case like this the first thing we think is, `What was this person thinking?”‘ Vaudreil said.
But he said Van Haften does not appear incompetent or mentally ill. Vaudreil said Van Haften acted alone and FBI agents are not currently seeking accomplices.
Well, let me be one of the first to welcome Mr. Van Haften home, and by “home” I mean the prison system, because the fellow has a long and persistent relationship with the justice system. The FBI could have done us a favor and helped him get to ISIS.
Category: Dumbass Bullshit
For some reason, this snippet of a song comes to mind when I look at this guy’s photo:
“Some body once told me, the world was gonna roll me
I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed . . . . “
Yeah he’s definitely an all star. An all star dumbass.
“Van Haften’s lawyer, Joseph Bugni, said he looks forward to ‘having all the facts brought to light.'”
Translation:
“I told my client to keep his pie-hole firmly shut while I scramble to find any mitigating factors that will result in a sentence for less than the maximum he could get. It’s not gonna be easy, given the level of stupidity he’s displayed, but hey, I’m getting a paycheck out of this and I need to at least make an effort.”
You mean, he couldn’t find his way to ISIS by hisself?
“In any case like this the first thing we think is, `What was this person thinking?”‘ Vaudreil said.
Yeah. That’s the important consideration, uh-huh. Perhaps if your first thought was how to successfully prosecute the offender it would serve us all much better?
DOH !!!
(Face palm slap)…
You do realize that we are turning our PRISONS into islamist training camps with these jokers, right? He either needs to be shot in the head or sent to Gitmo. My preference would be both, but in reverse order.
I hope to sweet fuck some of the lesser lights in prison let this fucktard recruit them into something. Talk about easily cleaning up something.
He couldn’t find his ass with both hands and a flashlight.
Will someone mail him a “I tried to join ISIS but they thought I was too stupid” T-Shirt?
I’m sure ISIS would had made good use of his mad origami skillz, too.
Loser.
VAN HALEN JOINED ISIS? WHAT THE HELL?
Oh, “Van HAFTEN.”
Never mind then.
BTW, I’ll bet he’s a big Van Halen fan, just from the looks of him. 😉
I read the intel report on this mug:
He was turned away at the border due to failure to comply was ISIS grooming standards.
Ackmed, the ISIS recuiter said, “the American’s crazy looking beard and hair along with the large bald spot on his head is not in compliance with radical Islam and ISIS grooming standards … He looks like the ass of an old mountain goat”.
…And Ackmed’s seen more than a few mountain-goat asses, so he knows what he’s talking about. 😉
If he looked like the ass of an old mountain goat, he would have been invited to stay. Nothing haji loves more than some mountain goat ass.
I’d heard something some time ago, that due to the Muslim custom of men only being in the vicinity of their women relatives, there’s a whole lot of inbreeding going on. In other words, the family tree looks like a straight stick. Maybe even a circular wreath. And we all know what THAT leads to.
And conversely, those that join, are not exactly the brightest bulbs and sharpest tools.
This douche is a perfect example. Even if he wasn’t from Muslim ancestry.
They arrest this dim bulb for “attempting” to fight for ISIS, yet those Islamic terrorists who have fought for ISIS and returned to the US are allowed back without prosecution.
Must have the state department and obama’s blessing before going to Syria and returning.
Arrest and prosecute everyone of the bastards !
The hell with him. As far as i can see, he’s an enemy to America as well as a traiter. Drop him in a deep dark cell, never to be heard from again. Until we decide to bring back executions for traiters.
One thing that does bother me about this, all kidding aside. One of the pieces of evidence is a room mate reporting on his mad origami skills and that brought him to the FBI’s attention?
Genius went to Southeast Turkey alone with a pocket full of cash, not speaking the language, no idea where he’s going and he’s surprised he got rolled? You don’t get 72 virgins if you dropped out of terrorist school in third grade. They’re gonna love him in prison!!
So basically this dumb sumbitch was rolled by the guttersnipes (all to common in that part of the world) who were supposed to be helping him.
They probably quickly sized him up as a loser who would be more of a hindrance than a help to their ISIS buds across the border. So they just relieved him of his money and split. And old Josh deserved no less.